He waits for her to understand
but she won't understand
she waits all night for him to call
but he won't call anymore
he waits to her say
I don't want to wait for him to understand that I'm here for him and that I'm ready to listen to his problems but he just shuts me out every time I get close to him, maybe it's got to do with the fact that his always interested in my best friend and that when the gang does something that up sets him then he runs to me. Honestly I'm not always gonna be there, maybe one day I'll get sick and tired and leave just like his family did to him. But I won't because I know that will kill him and also because I know I'm the only one he trusts now, but I just don't know anymore.
I tried calling him all night because I know that the gang fucked up his plans once again, but he doesn't answer his phone. I went to his house and made sure he wasn't hiding from me but he wasn't. The more I called him and the voicemail just answers me instead of his sweet voice, the more I worry. It was only 5 o'clock in the morning when I went to sleep even though I'm a vampire I still need my sleep.
It wasn't until the next day that he called me to meet up with him at the Grill of all places, really. He tells me about all his problems and how that little gang of mine just keeps on interfering. I had to keep my snort in on that one, they not my gang and they haven't been for ages but I don't tell him that. Part of me thinks that being in the supernatural gang was the thing that attracted him to me and now his distant like he know I'm not a part of their gang anymore and that the attraction left as well. But I don't dwell on it much.
When they killed my mom, I couldn't handle it and nobody was there to comfort me, not my friends, not Tyler, not Matt and not even Klaus who said he would be there always. That he would wait a century for me and that always said that he would be there for me….what a bunch of bullshit. So I switched it off, Klaus did say it was actually my humanity that attracted him and what a weakness it was….well now that it's off there's no more weakness because I don't think I want to feel again….no that makes me sound like Elena and I'm defiantly not her so maybe I'll switch it off until I can control my pain, because let's face it I can't live without feeling something.
Klaus found me in a dark alley near some bar, I guess he was shocked to find me with my humanity switched off and feeding from a person. I did suspect him to come sooner not a week later. Funny how I always wanted him as far as possible and now all I want him to do is to hug me and say that he loves me like I love him, but I know that will never happen, not the love part anyway.
He had to pry my victim away from me, he was dead anyway. He tried to talk to me while I laughed at him until he apologised and asked for forgiveness…. I didn't say anything just moved my still vampirism face away from him, maybe I was praying for him to tell me he loves me but it never happens, it's ironic how he knows what I'm about to say without even telling him.
He tells me I must understand what his being through. I do, I really do…because I've been through it as well, I know what it's like and when I try to comfort him….he just walks away. He told me I can stay at his place, so I do because no one wants to go to their house where their mother is lying there dead.
Forgive
but she just drops her pearl-black eyes
and prays to hear him say
I love you
but he tells no more lies
he wait for her to sympathise
but she won't sympathise at all
she wait all night to feel his kiss
but always wakes alone
I'm always alone these days, so I decided that I needed a change. I packed my stuff and went to go say goodbye to the gang, only to find that there was a force keeping me out the Salvatore house. I knocked and nobody answered but I knew they were inside I could hear them; laughing and partying for something, I wouldn't know what people would want to celebrate now. To me there's nothing to celebrate anymore. I shook my head at my depressing thoughts, it's horrible really. I left and went to Klaus only to find out that his gone on "business" and wouldn't be back for a while. I nodded in understanding as the door closed on me, and walked away. I didn't bother going to the Grill or to the Lockwood's place because I knew they both weren't there, they were Elena and the others.
That was 6 years ago, Klaus found me in my little cottage house in the forest in America. He gave this speech about how he searched and searched for me and that my friends were so worried about me and that he was so sad to find that I was missing. Direct words may I add. I wanted to laugh I really wanted to, because I knew everything was a lie, but I wanted someone near me to tell me the things I wanted to hear 6 years ago so I let him comfort me and then the next morning he wanted to use compulsion to make me forget. I didn't want to forget I told him I had pain from my mother's death but I never wanted to forget ever. He stayed a couple of days but I wanted him to stay with me forever like he promised but he never did. I woke up alone the next morning; all traces to tell me that he was here were gone. So once again I was left alone. I didn't even wait until the next day to see if he would come back because I was gone again.
He waits to hear her say
forget
but she just hangs her head in pain
and prays to hear him say
no more
I'll never leave again
We never used to be like this, we were once extremely close…once when I was part of that gang. It all comes down to the gang. He once told me that the small town and the local boy won't be enough for me and he was right it wasn't, we were only together for a couple of months when it all went down. I thought with all the words and the way he showed me he was seriously interested in me I thought that maybe he would learn to love me and what a flop that was hey. I loved him more than I loved any one and I thought he loved me too. But who am I kidding nobody would choose Caroline Forbes first nobody not even Klaus chose me first. They either want something from me or want to use me and it either one of the choices or both.
How did we get this far apart?
We used to be so close together
how did we get this far apart?
I thought this love would last forever
He found me again but this time in Paris and looked it only took 7 year, so in total it took Klaus 13 years to find me excluding a couple of days. A part of me wants to ask what has being happening and the other part doesn't want to know but he tells me anyway. I try to block it out and some part I succeed and others I don't, I hear loud and clear. They never even knew why I left or even that I did, what friends we were. They argued that I was selfish and that I never cared for any of them, that I only cared for myself…three guess who said that…I knew I hurt them when I chose Klaus over them but at least I was happy and wasn't in torture plan of theirs, when I was with him I felt safe which was more than I can say for my so called friends. He told me that Elena understood and tried to look for me but the other said it was dangerous to look for me at this time….bullshit.
I asked him questions, asked him how long it took for them to realise that I was gone and guess what he did….he shrugged….fucking shrugged as if he didn't know. I nodded like I understood and then asked him how long it took for him to figure out I was gone. He didn't look at me, but asked me to forgive them and him. Really. All his sweet words and gestures and then nothing. Fuck no, not gonna happen again, all I wanted from him is to say that he loved me like I loved him, but now all I want is to kill them. If they wanted my forgiveness they can come and find me. Fuck them and fuck him.
He waits for her to understand
but she won't understand at all
she waits all night for him to call
but we won't call
he waits to hear her say
forgive
but she just drops her pearl-black eyes
and prays to hear him say
I love you
but he tell no more lies
How did we get this far apart?
We used to be so close together
how did we get this far apart?
I thought this love could last forever.
He wants me to understand that it wasn't supposed to be like this and I do but I don't want to live in a place with a person who gives you attention one moment and then is all about your best friend. I left when he fell asleep at my house in Paris with a note saying
"I LOVE YOU AND I DO UNDERSTAND, it's just you who doesn't understand me Klaus. This is the last goodbye come find me when you do understand."
With that I left and I hoped to never be found until he actually understood.