Disclaimer: I own the plot. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Getting Back at Snape
Journal entry of Fred and George number 333 (We are only half evil)
George and I have had to deal with the slimy git of the dungeons and we are finally done. This is a collected works of everything we have done since our first year to him.
Some of things are just pranks while others are spells. The final ones are jokes for our shop. This was all done before Umbridge came around.
First Year
1. Teddy where are you- We found a teddy bear in a forgotten room that was black and had Slytherin robes on it. We thought that it would be funny if we gave it a name tag saying it belonged to Snape and snuck into the Great Hall to place it on his plate. When he came in finally everyone was already there and had already laughed at the bear but once we saw his face the entire hall broke out in laughter including Dumbledor.
2. We Love You- On Valentines day we had asked a few of the older girls to write anonymous love notes to Snape using non-traceable ink. When they arrived to him he actually blushed at the one we were not allowed to read. Apparently we were not supposed to put a snake in the corner because he deducted points from his own house and actually caused one of the first years to cry.
3. April Fools Day- With some other students help we transfigured some parchment into miniature Snape figures and they followed him around while muttering and deducting points. We secretly think he kept one to enjoy.
4. Goodbye 1- As a goodbye we both rushed up to him and gave him a hug telling him that we would miss his lessons. During the hug we slid exploding snap packs into his pockets and received a howler later after he had sat down in his office.
Second Year
1. Hello Snake- Within the first weeks that we were back at school we had found a snake in the forest. We stuffed it in a box and placed it outside his quarters for him to find. The next day Snape wasn't in classes and we heard from Dumbledor that he was in the Hospital wing for snake bites. Opps!
2. Happy Christmas- To make up for the Snake thing we sent him a stuffed snake that hissed whenever a Hufflepuff was near him. It actually made him kinda smile. We think it was one of the few nice things we did to him.
3. Goodbye 2- Again another hug except he was prepared but instead of Exploding Snap we placed regular mouse traps so when he reached in they snapped on his hands. He actually turned our hair green after that and we had to explain to mum what we did.
Third Year
1. Harry Potter- With Harry Potter starting school we recreated the mini Snape thing except did it with Harry chasing him around while trying to save him from every little things. Harry found it kinda funny after we explained it to him but Snape did not. Poor mini Harry's were put on fire.
2. Troll- When the Troll was released on Halloween it gave us an evil idea. We charmed Snape's seat at the head table to allow him to only hear grunts when someone was talking to him. When he figured it out he cast the counter charm right away.
3. Goodbye 3- We weren't even allowed to hug him this time. We did however manage to put on his back a huge bulls-eye for peeves though. Peeves actually listens to us when we tell him to prank people so of course he took great pleasure in pelting Snape with Chalk and Eraser.
Fourth Year
1. Hermione Granger- We did this to both Snape and Ron. Again mini's came into play. Each were followed around by a mini Hermione, one that raised her hand constantly, the other constantly nagging Ron about his homework. Before doing this we made sure to get Hermione's permission so we didn't hurt her feelings. Snape killed her like he did Harry bur Ron kept his. Odd?
2. Hair of Slytherin- When the whole heir of Slytherin thing started we decided to play a joke on Snape causing his Hair to look like Salazar Slytherin's. We did not, however, forget to make it green. Poor Snape.
3. With Love- When Hermione became petrified we thought it was the perfect time to do this. We sent Snape a numerous supply of hair care products with a note she had written prior to it telling him that although she was petrified it didn't mean he had to stop taking care of his hair. When she woke up she blushed when we told her and actually tried to hex us.
4. Goodbye 4- Again No Hug. No Bulls-eye. This year we just sent him another mini Hermione so he would remember. We secretly suspect she has a slight crush on him.
Fifth Year
1. Egypt- While in Egypt we found an old crown and sent it to Snape as a present. It went along with his Stuffed Snake but hissed when a Ravenclaw was near. We actually got a thank you note. I doubt we are doing our job properly.
2. Exploding Toilet- We promised Ginny two years ago that we would send her a toilet seat but instead cause one of Moaning Murtle's toilets to explode and when he investigated it she developed a crush on him. At this rate half the females in Hogwarts will be sending him Valentine cards this year.
3. Cards- We found out Hermione did send him a Valentine just to show that someone appreciated him. We sent him one as well that had a holographic of Buckbeak attacking Malfoy. Was that tactless?
4. Goodbye 5- We received a package from the same person who sent Harry his firebolt and in it there was a poetry book. From the looks of it he had liked a girl at one point and we started to read his poetry out loud during breakfast on the morning we were to leave. Poor sod. This time we were sporting zippers where our mouths were.
Sixth Year
1. Triwizard Dragon- When Harry got the mini Horntail we decided to set it loose in his office. When it was done he had a new pet and a very destroyed office. He blamed it on Peeves thankfully.
2. Bets- While doing the bets for the tournament we had a side bet going of when Snape was going to get the DADA position. Once everyone had betted we went to him with the results and gave him a cut of the winnings when everyone said never. (This was after we had left that we gave him half). Back then he gave us detention with Filch.
3. Dark Lord- We knew that Snape used to be a Death Eater so when the news came out about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned we created a bed set for him. (We did not give it to him until the next year).
4. Goodbye 6- Sirius helped us again this year except he helped us recreate the Levi corpus memory. We think we went to far with that one since we received detentions for the first day of term next year as well as a foot of parchment on why it is improper to prank teachers.
Seventh Year
We were too busy with Umbridge during this year except to slip him a love potion where he actually wanted Hermione for 24 hours. He almost gave in but luckily it was the weekend and the most he did was write her a poem.
If you did anything to the git please let us know and we will add it to our next one. Love always from Fred and George Weasley!
AN/ I couldn't help but put in some nice things. They can't always be mean. And get your minds out of the gutter. If Snape had acted on his feelings on Hermione it would have strictly been snuggling. Snicker. ^.^ Anyways, if you have anymore evil things to do towards Snape post in Review and I will place them in the Second 'Down With Snape' Chapter. Thanks all.