WB LOGO WITH BUGS BUNNY
Bat-Mite pops out of the WB LOGO
Bat-Mite: Just to clarify, Batman has no memory of the events of "Mitefall!"
FADE IN
The Artic
Batman, Huntress, and Blue Beetle are flying in the Batplane.
"This doesn't make sense, Bats," Blue Beetle says, "Wouldn't Aquaman or Fire & Ice be more equipped for this job?"
"I couldn't reach them on their JLI frequency." Batman says, "I figured you could handle this job."
"Most definitely." Blue Beetle says, as he ogle's Huntress lustfully.
"Keep your mind on task, kid!" Huntress says.
"We have to stop Gorilla Grodd from melting the polar ice caps." Batman says.
"Nothing can stop me from melting the polar ice caps!" Gorilla Grodd bellows. "Soon, the world will be flooded, making way for ape kind to rise above and take over the world! There will be a planet of the apes!"
"One thing I don't get," Blue Beetle says, flying out of the Batplane, "How does melting the ice caps help Grodd's crazy monkey campaign? It seems more like an Ocean Master or Mr. Freeze scheme."
"In Grodd's warped mind, he believes that there will start a new evolutionary track, that will re-evolve apes, producing a new race of Grodd-devoted ape followers, and destroying all human life." Batman says.
"Of course, that's ludicrous because evolution is a bunch of garbage," Beetle says, "macro, I mean."
"I didn't know you were a creationist, Beetle." Batman says.
"Yeah, I recently had a change of mind." Beetle says.
He goes over to Huntress, who is wearing her normal costume.
"So, uh, Huntress," Beetle quivers, "you cold in that outfit? Because I'll warm you up if you want me to."
"I'm fine, Beetle." Huntress says, "If you'll excuse me."
"Anything for you, my love." Beetle says. After she leaves he talks to himself. "I'm surprised these glaciers haven't melted already because she is so hot!"
Huntress walks next to Batman.
"Why'd you bring him along?" she whispers, "He's good kid, but he can't break out of his shell, if you know what I mean."
"Jaime is a worthy ally," Batman says, "I'm proud to have him on my team."
"Batman, after this mission," Huntress purrs seductively, "Can you take me to your secret cave?"
"The Batcave is not for just anyone to enter into," Batman says, "you must prove you're worthy."
"Hapless hominids!" Grodd says, "You cannot stop my master plan! Ape kind will rule the world!"
"Don't bet on it, gruesome!" Huntress yells, as she kicks Grodd.
"Seriously, dude, come up with a new plan!" Beetle says, "I mean, melting the ice caps? Mr. Freeze & Ocean Master don't like when villains try to steal their plots!"
"Well, I would've turned all of Gotham's citizens into bananas, had Aquaman and this bat-eared buffoon not thwarted my evil scheme!" Grodd yelled.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Batman says, "Nevertheless, this Antarctic anarchy is over, you antagonistic ape!"
"Not by a long shot, Batman!" Grodd yells, "Loyal apes, attack!"
Batman, Huntress, and Blue Beetle beat up Grodd's gorilla goons.
Grodd laughs evilly.
"You're too late, heroes!" Grodd laughs, "Now apes will rise again!"
Batman throws a batarang at Grodd's glacier-melting machine, and Blue Beetle zaps it. Huntress shoots a crossbow arrow at the control switch, destroying the machine.
"No!" Grodd yells, "You'll pay for this, humans!"
Batman douses Grodd with bat-gas.
The heroes fly away in the Batplane with Grodd in tow.
"Hey Huntress," Blue Beetle stutters, "You ever want to share a meal together? My treat."
"Sorry kid," Huntress smiles, "you're too young for me."
OPENINING SEQUENCE
"Tweet-Tweet for 51!"
Written by: TouchedbyaMunster
At the Gotham Museum…
Rubberneck breaks out with a painting in hand.
"The road ends here, you rubbery wrongdoer!" Batman says, as he swoops in front of him.
Rubberneck throws a punch at Batman, but the Dark Knight dodges.
Batman kicks Rubberneck, but he bounces off him.
"I'll handle this, hon," comes an alluring voice. Black Canary steps out of the shadows.
The Canary lets loose her sonic scream, but it doesn't floor Rubberneck. He grabs her by the throat, and tosses her across the street.
"Rule #1, Rubberneck," Batman says, "you never hit a lady!"
He sweeps Rubberneck's feet, but the villain gets away.
"Are you all right, Canary?" Batman asks, rushing over to her.
"I think so," Canary says, hoarsely, "I'll need some medical attention."
"I think I know just the place." Batman says.
Later, the Batmobile pulls up near a clinic in Crime Alley.
An old woman answers the door.
"Bruce?" she asks, as she sees Batman carrying Black Canary in his arms. "What's wrong?"
"Leslie, I have a patient who needs you." Batman says.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins checks Black Canary out.
"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do." Leslie says, "the damage is beyond my capabilities. You'll need to take her to a more advanced facility."
"Thank you, Leslie." Batman says. He transforms the Batmobile into the Batplane and they fly away.
Later, they land near a desert in Arizona.
A cactus transforms into a retinal scanner.
A computerized voice hums:
"Recognized: Batman, #005. Recognized: Black Canary #108. Access granted."
They step inside a building that materializes.
A heavyset black woman marches toward them with two MP's (military policemen) on each side of her.
"Amanda Waller, director of Project Cadmus here at Area 51," she says, extending a hand.
"Batman, guardian of Gotham City." Batman says, "I've heard of you and your operation. Whatever you're doing, know that I'm keeping a close eye on you."
"Dratted squealers," Waller mutters, "Who ratted us out?"
"I have my sources," Batman says.
"And I have my sources too, rich boy." Waller says. Batman's eyes widen in surprise. "So I suggest you keep your distance."
"I need you to treat—"
"Dinah Laurel Lance," Waller says, "I know. We've read up on your teammates. You may not be aware of this, tough guy, but we created her. Her sonic scream, I mean. While I wasn't around yet, my predecessors took Dinah Lance in when her mother, the first Black Canary, gave birth. They tested an experimental superpower project on her, unknowingly giving her a sonic scream."
"Interesting," Batman says, "She was hurt in a fight with a superpowered goon named Rubberneck, and her vocal cords are injured. I need you—"
"We'll handle it," Waller says.
"I'm watching you, Waller." Batman says, as he leaves.
"I'll try to control my terror." Waller says sarcastically.
Meanwhile, at the hideout of that crafty criminal, Kite Man…
"Did you get the goods?" Kite Man asks his sidekick.
"Yeah, I got it boss." Rubberneck says.
"Excellent," Kite Man says, "I trust things went smoothly."
"Batman and Black Canary got in my way." Rubberneck admits.
"Batman and…Black Canary." Kite Man coos, "That charming chickadee could be very useful to aid in my kite crimes! Better yet, her voice! Oh, she can hit a pitch that I can use! She'd never work with me willingly, and I don't have access to drugs or mind-control devices, so I think I'll just steal her voice!"
"How you gonna do that, boss?" Rubberneck asks.
"Shut up!" Kite Man snaps, "I want you to find out where that tantalizing tweety bird is being caged and get a little device for me. Do not fail me!"
"You got it, boss!" Rubberneck salutes.
FADE OUT
FADE IN
THE BATCAVE
Alfred comes up to Batman.
"Taking up a new hobby, Sir?" Alfred asks.
"I'm trying to figure out the leader of Cadmus, Amanda Waller." Batman says, "She seems to know my secret identity. I left Black Canary in the care of her organization. In the meantime, what would Rubberneck need with a stolen painting? More importantly, what would his likely employer, Kite Man need with a stolen painting? This looks like a job for…Matches Malone!"
"I shall prepare hot tea upon your return Master Bruce, or should I say Master Matches." Alfred says, "Happy hunting, Sir!"
At a bar in a shady part of Gotham…
Rubberneck steps in.
He also sees fellow villains, Calendar Man, Polka-dot Man, Crazy Quilt, Mr. Camera, Ten-Eyed Man, the Spinner, Abra-Kadabra, Sweet Tooth, King Kobra, the Eraser, the Bouncer, Weather Wizard, Cluemaster, and Dr. Poison.
He has a seat with Matches Malone, who is also there.
"So, Rubberneck, huh?" Matches asks, "Matches Malone. I hear you're workin' for Kite Man again. What's the scheme this time?"
"The boss doesn't want me to say anything." Rubberneck declares.
"Is that so?" Matches asks, "That's what I would say too, if I were lettin' a loser like Kite Man push me around."
"Don't mock the boss!" Rubberneck yells.
"Sorry, I just want to figure out why Kite Man can't do the job himself. I mean, I heard you beat Batman and Black Canary. Sent Canary to the hospital…" Matches says.
"What hospital?" 'Rubberneck asks.
"Oh, I just might tell you, if you tell me what you got in the bag." Matches says.
"The Voice-Eraser." Rubberneck says. The Eraser pops his head out. "Not you!"
"You mean the voice eraser Catwoman used?" Matches asks. "Somehow it seems those stinkin' Birds of Prey keep hauntin' me."
Rubberneck stares at him.
"Oh, right, right." Matches says, "Word on the street is Canary's bein' held at this high-tech buildin' in Arizona."
Rubberneck walks out, and leaps toward Arizona.
Batman follows him in the Batmobile, transformed into the Batplane.
"What would Kite Man want with the voice eraser?" Batman asks himself, "Great Scott! He's planning to use it to steal Black Canary's sonic scream! The question is: what would he need with her abilities?"
Meanwhile, at Area 51…
"You're all better, Ms. Lance," Amanda Waller says, "some might say, improved."
"Improved how?" Black Canary inquires.
"You'll learn, in due time." Waller says.
A guard runs up to them.
"Mrs. Waller! Mrs. Waller!" he pants, "we've got a disturbance in the lower wing; it's Rubberneck!"
"Not again!" Black Canary groans.
"Well, get some reinforcements to take care him!" Waller snaps.
A group of military police shoot at Rubberneck, but their bullets bounce off of him.
He brushes them aside like gnats.
"Round two, ugly!" Black Canary shouts.
"Canary, no!" Amanda says, "It's too dangerous!"
"If what you say about these 'improvements' is true, Mrs. Waller," Canary says, "Let's give 'em a test drive!"
Rubberneck smiles.
She lets loose her sonic scream.
Rubberneck takes out the voice eraser. The sonic blast goes into the voice eraser, as Rubberneck goes flying.
Canary says something, but no words leave her mouth.
"THAT'LL TEACH YOU!"- a title card reads
"MY VOICE! NOT AGAIN!"—another title card says.
"Looks like it's back to the old drawing board," Amanda Waller says.
Later…
"Ms. Lance, I was able to restore your normal vocal functions," Waller says, "however, your sonic scream is still absent. From what we've gathered, Rubberneck used a device to steal your scream from you."
"Yes," Batman says, "the voice eraser. Catwoman used it once to steal the voices of a famous international pop duo."
He flashes back in his memory, recalling when he and Robin were entrapped in the Feline Felon's giant echo-chamber, while she glanced at the voice eraser with satisfaction.
"I always knew that selfish seductress was up to no good," Black Canary says, "Wait, so if Rubberneck stole my voice, that means he must be working for…"
"Kite Man," Batman says, "the criminal king of kites. He must be using it to aid another robbery."
"But we're going to see to it that this kite flies away…to Gotham State Prison!" Black Canary says.
They get in the Batplane, and head back to Gotham.
Meanwhile at Kite Man's hideout…
"Did you get the stuff?" Kite Man asks.
"Yeah, boss," Rubberneck says, "it's all here. The voice eraser with the pretty birdie's scream on it."
"Good, good." Kite Man says, "once I transfer the scream to my power-suit, I'll be invincible! I'll be free to cause unbridled chaos, mayhem, and havoc throughout the world, and Batman won't be able to stop me! I'll be the king of kite crimes once again! Rubberneck, plug the voice eraser into the main power core."
"Sure thing, boss!" Rubberneck says, as he plugs the device into a giant machine.
Kite Man stands under an electric field generator.
"Rubberneck, fire it up!" Kite Man commands.
"Right, boss!" Rubberneck says, as he pulls a lever.
The kite-themed crook is zapped, and Black Canary's canary cry is transferred to a special apparatus that Kite Man wears on his chest.
The machine powers down.
"Fantastic," Kite Man says, "now let's see what this baby can really do!"
He flies out of the building, and aims the apparatus at an old warehouse.
The sonic scream is unleashed, shattering all the windows in the building, and causing the bricks and mortar to crumble.
"Superb!" Kite Man exclaims, "with this power, there is no vault I cannot open!"
He flies to the Ben Franklin museum, and shatters the windows, the security system, and the guards' ears with the sonic blast.
He starts destroying the museum. He flies out, laughing.
At the Gotham Museum, he has eyes on the famous jeweled kite of Samarkand.
He is about to shatter the glass, when he is interrupted.
"Your kite-centric crime spree has currently crash-landed, Kite Man!" Batman shouts.
"Well, if it isn't the Caped Crusader and the curvaceous Canary." Kite Man says, "You might know I've taken up a new hobby: singing. Allow me to hum a few bars for you."
He revs up the canary cry, but Batman and Black Canary dodge the waves with their agile reflexes.
"Why are the musical maniacs always after you?" Batman asks his pretty partner, remembering the pair's first encounter with the Music Meister.
Canary shrugs.
Kite Man shatters the glass case of the jeweled kite with his newfound sonic scream.
"I'll be on my way, now!" Kite Man says. "Rubberneck, destroy them!"
The hulking lummox of a lackey attacks with full force. Batman douses him with bat-gas, and then the duo goes after their airborne adversary.
Batman wraps the batrope around Charles Brown's legs, pulling him back into the building.
"Looks like this criminal is headed up the river!" Batman says, "But first…"
Area 51…
They reverse Kite Man's transfer process, giving Black Canary her superpower back.
"Good work," Amanda Waller says, "we'll see to it that that loser is handed over to the proper authorities."
"In the meantime, I want to know more about your operation." Batman says, "What are you up to?"
"Don't stick that pointy nose too far into places where it shouldn't be, or it might get cut off." Waller says. "Give me your word you'll stay out of our business, and we'll wipe our memories of your secret identity."
"We?" Batman asks.
"I have friends in high places." Waller says.
"You expect him to keep that vow?" Canary asks.
"Ms. Lance, you of all people should know when Batman makes a promise, he always delivers," Waller says, "He's Batman."
"Very well, you have my word," Batman says, "But rest assured, I'll find another way of bringing you down."
He walks off.
Black Canary walks up to him.
"So Bats, it's kinda late," she says, "Mind treating me to a lite dinner?"
"We'll have to get drive-through." Batman says.
END