Summary: Like the title says. 30 well known, or maybe not, facts about everyone's favorite Flame Alchemist, gleaned from hours of staring at his face…sort of.
Warning! Kplus for a couple of swears.
Genre: Humor
A/N: I did it again. This time with another of my favorite dude characters, Roy. In case you're wondering what I'm talking about, I did this same thing with Seto Kaiba. It was fun, so I did it again. And I still don't remember where it was I saw something like this before. Maybe it'll come back? Hmm. But I used info from the anime and the manga, and a couple of funny icons I saw.
Roy Mustang. 29-year-old military alchemist always gunning for the top. Some say they know all they need to about him. Others think he mysterious. 42 percent of us are eating lunch while reading this.
Okay, no we aren't. That was called "random".
But Roy's character isn't as complex as he'd like you to think. Truly, just looking at these 30 facts will tell you everything you need to know about him!
In the proper time and/or place, Roy Mustang will/would…
1. Snap his fingers and blow stuff up.
2. Deny having the world on strings right after something happens to make it look like he does.
3. Blame his tears on rain.
4. Smirk.
5. Slap his subordinates upside the head.
6. Be described as someone with Asian features though neither of his names are Asian and he never mentions Asia and Asia doesn't really exist in his world anyhow.
7. Repeatedly antagonize a subordinate about his height because the reaction is funny.
8. Mention miniskirts once and be branded with it for the rest of his life.
9. Be useless in the rain.
10. Be told he's useless in the rain.
11. Let himself get buried in snow.
12. Wear a complicated eyepatch.
13. Swear to drunk that he isn't God.
14. Stand dramatically in the rain, which we've already covered that he's useless in.
15. Use minors to defuse hostage situations.
16. Set criminals on fire.
17. Set fake corpses on fire.
18. Set his superior officer on fire.
19. Desire to set his friend on fire.
20. Talk mysteriously on the phone and then hang up abruptly.
21. Procrastinate.
22. Chase down some minors because he's pissed.
23. Have his eye shot out by an insanely patriotic cyborg.
24. Ascend in a hot-air balloon with his finger pointed skywards.
25. Antagonize a subordinate he hasn't seen in years and has allegedly missed.
26. Steal his subordinate's girlfriends.
27. Lurk in alleys, waiting to speak to minors.
28. Dance with a puppy in hand.
29. Have flashbacks at the worst times.
30. Get purposefully tripped by the woman he loves.