Note:Hey! It's me again: the crazy fanfic writer!! I've gotta be
crazy for still be making fanfics of FF8... But it's such a great game!!!
And this one is not the last, I've got more of them coming!!
Well here it comes like I promised. This one was inspired when I was watching Casper on T.V. It was so strong in my mind I just had to do it!
This story occurs... two years after the events from FF8. Squall and Rinoa are married for a little more than a year. Squall is in a mission for height months and Rinoa is pregnant since... the day right before Squall left. Something's gonna turn her life upside down but no matter how hard it is, she'll have to deal with it...
Enjoy!
1 Haunted
In Caraway's mansion Rinoa was living in since her wedding, she was looking at her reflection on the mirror. She put her hands on her stomach, which was now pretty big, and carressed it with love. She sighed with a smile. She knew it wouldn't be much longer until the baby would be born and she wished Squall would be back at that moment. When he left for this important mission, he didn't know Rinoa was pregnant. In fact she didn't know herself because it happened the night before he left. She could still remember his words on the exit of the mansion:
"I love you. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Then he kissed her and she hasn't seen him since. She never had any opportunity to tell him. He was sending her letters every weeks but he was always moving on so she couldn't reply. She smiled when she sensed the baby kick her gently. She stroked her stomach possessively, with some kind of passion.
She was disturbed when it rang at the door. She looked up and walked out of her room, cursing the clothes she was wearing. Her usual clothes were too tight for her state right now.
It rung again, sounding urgent to her ears. She went to the door as fast as she could. When she reached the door, servants arrived in the same time, scolded by her father.
"What on Earth were you all dreaming about?! I got work to do and Rinoa is in no state to run through the mansion!!"
"I'm sorry, General," a servant apologized. "I was washing the dishes and I thought someone else was close to it."
"Come on, father," Rinoa interfered apparently in a good mood. "I'm already here so I'll just open the door and stop making a big deal out of it."
She turned from her father to the door with a smile and opened the door. She lost her smile and widened her eyes when she saw Zell barely standing up in front of her. He was covered with blood and his clothes were a mess. He was about to faint, a bloody hand against the door frame to keep him from collapsing.
"Zell!" Rinoa exclaimed bringing her hands to her mouth. "What happened to you?!"
"Rinoa," he whispered with a hoarse voice. "Ugh..."
He fell forward but Rinoa managed to catch him befor he hit the marble floor.
"Zell! Where's Squall? Speak to me!"
She rested him on her lap and stroked his face from the bloody hair before his eyes, leaving traces of blood on his face.
"Big joke... eight months and it was all... just a big joke..."
"What do you mean?"
Zell coughed in pain and gritted his teeth.
"Our target was making fools of us... while we thought we were following the enemy, they were following us all the time... many losses... Quistis...and Seifer...both dead..."
Rinoa bit her lip. Seifer had been back in Garden and finally became a SeeD to get himself killed after a few months. How sad...
"Irvine lost an eye...protecting Selphie but... she's still hurt..."
"What about Squall?" she asked in fear. "How is he?"
"Deling City was the closest place we were to... the only place we could think about...sorry Rinoa..."
Zell was about to faint, but Rinoa wasn't about to let him do so until he would tell her what she wanted to know. However hard it could be. She took him by the collar of his jacket and shook him a little.
"Where's Squall?? Tell me, I can take it!!"
"Ou... outside with Irvine...and Selphie..." he answered lowly before fainting.
Rinoa carefully rested Zell on the floor before quickly getting up, turning to the servants. She clenched her necklace and there was fear all over her face.
"Call for help, hurry!" she commanded before running outside.
She didn't have to run very far. She saw the lying form of Squall on the grass the second she was out. Selphie clenching her temporarely bandaged leg beside him and Irvine with a patch on an eye behind her with blood on his cheek but Rinoa wasn't seeing anything except for her husband lying on the ground. As she approached him, she could feel the ball in her throat growing bigger. The once white feather collar proudly worn by the leader of SeeD was now soaked with blood. The black leather pants suiting him so well before were all teared up just like his grey t-shirt covered with blood. There were holes all over his jacket.
Getting closer, unable to make a sound, Rinoa could see the new scars all over Squall's blood covered face. She kneeled by his side and put her arm under Squall's neck. She stroked his face from the longer locks of hair. The hair was now more red than brown. Scanning his body, feeling fear growing bigger, rinoa saw that the wounds all over his body were very bad. She swallowed hard and brought her eyes back on his face to see him weakly half-open his. Rinoa widened hers and tears of relief to see him alive rolled down her face.
"Squall!" she exclaimed hugging him as much as her big tummy could allow her.
He moaned in pain from the hug. She released her grip and their eyes locked. His weak ones and hers full of tears. He managed to lift a hand to her face. To her surprise, that hand wasn't gloved.
"I didn't forget your face..." he said hoarsely, leaving a trace of blood on Rinoa's cheek.
She closed her eyes to feel the warmth of his hand fill her.
"When we fell in that trap, I thought I would never see you again.."
Tears rolled down Rinoa's face.
"I missed you so much," she whispered reaching for the hand on her face.
He gave her a weak smile, then Rinoa cried.
"I don't know how we made it here," Irvine said with a painful voice.
Rinoa wasn't listening to him.
"Forgive me, Rinoa... for being away for so long. We were just married and I had to go..."
"Don't mention it," Rinoa said shaking her head. "You're here now."
Squall closed his eyes and took a deep and painful breath.
"I must apologize... being away for so long... and to leave again...this time forever..."
"No!" Rinoa objected. "You won't! Help is coming, you'll be alright! You can't leave me again, I won't let you! You got to hold on!"
There were so much tears in her eyes, she could barely see Squall. His eyes were slowly filling with tears.
"I'm...sorry, honey... Rinoa...I love you..."
His hand slipped from Rinoa's face and his hand rested against her arm when a tear ran down his cheek from his closed eyes. Rinoa's eyes were wide opened once more and she stopped breathing feeling the life leave her husband's body in her arms. Her lips formed his name but not a word past them.
"No..." Selphie whispered before looking at Rinoa.
Rinoa slowly shook her head, unable to believe it, refusing to admit it.
Selphie felt great pain inside. But knowing it was nothing compared to what Rinoa was feeling only made it worst. She was hurt for the two of them. Irvine kneeled behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She turned to him and could see sadness in his lone eye too. He was glad Zell couldn't see this. He was close to Squall, sentrying with Squall lots of nights while the others were asleep.
The young widow felt something coming up her throat as her hand was clenching her dead husband's shoulder and the other caressing his cheek. It finally reached her lips.
"Squall, NO!!!" she yelled.
The scream echoed in the whole city a long time before fading away. There was all the pain and love of the world in that scream. Suddenly, she felt very weak. She ended up over Squall's body, her face turned to his.
"I'll give birth to your child..." she whispered to Squall's deaf ears before fainting.
She never heard her friends and father calling out her name. Only Squall's last words were ringing in her mind over and over again.
"I love you... I love you... I love you..." with the weak face along like it would follow her forever.
Half a week later was the day of squall's funeral. Seifer's and Quistis' were held in the same time but most of the crowd was there for Squall. Rinoa was standing in front of Squall's grave wearing a large black dress. Her thick eye bags taught her friends she cried the whole time. Her father, General Caraway was by her side wearing a black uniform from the army. Laguna was on her other side also wearing black. Behind her was Zell with the SeeD uniform like Irvine by his side, holding Selphie who couldn't walk from her broken leg. She was wearing her uniform also. Because he was a SeeD, Squall was buried in his uniform.
Edea and Cid Kramer were there too along with Xu and Nida. The girl with the pigtail from the library was standing on the other side of Zell, holding his hand. Ellone was with Laguna, crying freely but silently.
In front of Seifer's grave were standing Raijin and Fujin, looking darn serious for the first, almost sad. Just like the three Trepies in front of Quistis' grave. To complete it, Kadowaki was there along and other people: SeeDs who had high respect for Squall or family like Zell's mother.
Rinoa looked at the sky and thought it was just like her heart: grey, stormy, cloudy, but you couldn't tell if it would rain or not, explode into a real storm or remain like this.
Many flowers were placed on the tombs by lots of people. Squall's friends had the most of them.
Rinoa looked around her. Her eyes rested on every person dressed in black. When she thought all those people came to pay some respects to the dead SeeD leader, her husband and love, she couldn't keep it inside anymore. She turned around and threw herself in Zell's arms who almost fell backward from the surprise. He hasn't fully recovered form his wounds yet and was feeling bad. The only thing was that he wasn't sure if he was feeling bad from his wounds or from Squall's death. Probably from both. He held Rinoa against him when she cried again. Selphie limped to her friend and put a friendly hand on her back. She wanted that hand to be comforting but she knew it wasn't much comfort.
"Did he knew?" Zell asked.
Rinoa looked up to him.
"About your state," he explained
Rinoa looked at the ground and slowly shook her head.
"No...he died ignoring I was pregnant..."
She held Zell and cried even more. The helpless SeeD just held her tight, following the advice of his girlfriend.
Most of the people came to give their condolences before leaving.
"So..." Irvine started, feeling uneasy. "What are you gonna do now?"
Rinoa wiped the tears from her eyes with a tissue Selphie held her.
"I'll stay in Deling."
"Can we...visit you sometimes?" Irvine asked.
"We won't be sent in missions for a while because of our wounds," Selphie told.
"Speak for yourself," Irvine said. "You got a broken leg and Zell almost nothing. Once you two are healed, you'll be able to take missions but I..."
He lifted a hand to the patch over his eye.
"My gun is the only weapon I ever used. With just an eye, I can't shoot!"
"I'm sorry, Irvy..." Selphie whispered guiltily.
"Why? I don't regret what I did that cost me this eye. My eye for your life, Sefie."
Cid came forward with Edea.
"Will you be alright, child?" the former Sorceress asked in a motherly tone.
"I suppose I'll need time... plenty of time..."
Edea nodded.
"We'll be going too now," Cid said.
"Mister Kramer," Rinoa called before he left. "I got a request I'd like to make."
"Go ahead, dear. Anything."
"Could I have his gunblade? Please..."
Cid smiled.
"Of course. I'll have Irvine, Selphie and Zell deliver it to you personnaly."
"Thanks."
The Kramer couple left. Rinoa turned to Zell and hesitated before throwing herself in his arms again.
"It hurts, Zell... it hurts so much..."
"I know," Zell whispered caressing her hair.
"I wish he'd be here to see our child once he's born..."
"I'm sure he's watching over you..." a voice said behind her.
Rinoa turned around and saw Laguna. He offered a hand and she took it. He held her a little before just holding her hands avoiding her eyes. He was afraid he would see in them what he saw in his own when he learned about Raine's death.
"I regret I didn't have the time to know him. He was my son, but..."
"He knew it," Rinoa said. "Believe me, he knew it..."
Laguna had a little smile.
"Ask me anythime if you ever need anything, okay? Anytime."
"Thanks, Laguna."
Ellone took Laguna's arm.
"Come on, uncle Laguna. We must go back to Esthar."
"Sure, Elle. Be brave, Rinoa."
Laguna and Ellone left too, the it started raining.
"I guess it's good-bye," Selphie said before hugging Rinoa. "We'll come visit you if you want."
"Whenever you want," Rinoa almost pleaded.
Caraway put an arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go home now, dear.."
Rinoa closed her eyes and nodded. Her father lead her to thei car and they drove back to Deling. Irvine helped Selphie walking while Zell was looking at the three tombs there. Raijin and Fujin were still standing in front of Seifer's tomb. Fujin kneeled there while Raijin was holding an umbrella over her head. She placed her hand on the ground as if she was trying to reach for her fallen friend. She remained silent until a tear melted with the rain on her face from her eye. She didn't try to hide it.
"Seifer," she whispered. "Why?"
"It'll never be the same without you, ya know..."
Fujin got up and sighed. Raijin wraped an arm around her shoulders to shield her from the rain.
"We'll miss you, Seifer," Fujin said with one last look behind her.
"It's been fun," Raijin completed before walking away with Fujin.
Zell traced them a while before standing right in front of Squall's monument. He put a knee down and stared at the inscription.
"Here lies a great leader," Zell read outloud. "Leaves in mourning his wife, his friends, and a child he never met."
Zell thought there wasn't enough sapce on the tombstone to tell what Squall was to all of them. A strange thought spread through Zell's mind that made him smile.
"He wasn't a bad guy at all. Cold-hearted at first yes, but not bad. He never had bad intentions. Not deep inside at least. Strange that the very person that changed you is the one that will cry your loss forever."
"Zell?" Selphie's voice called just behind him.
He turned around and waved to her.
"Hi, Selph."
"What're you doing?"
He looked back at the monument and recalled old days.
"Remember when we went to Galbadia Garden after we failed kidnapping President Deling to help Rinoa's group?"
The brunette nodded, not sure to understand.
"Remember when we were waiting in that room? We learned from Quistis Seifer was dead..."
"Oh, yeah. So?"
"Then we all talked about him and everything. Remember how Squall suddenly got mad and left saying he wouldn't have anyone talking about him in the past tense?"
Selphie couldn't help herself to smile at the memory. When she understood what Zell meant, she went along.
"He really was a good leader, everyone in Garden would say so but first of all, he was our friend."
"Yeah..."
The two SeeDs turned to Irvine. Zell wondered if he would ever get used to see this patch over his friend's eye.
"I wasn't there when you talked about Seifer, but I think I know what you mean. He was probably the guy who learned to change his heart the most in less time."
"I bet you're right," Selphie nervously giggled.
"What do you two say we go home now?" Irvine cut. "We'll catch a cold if we stay here too long. I don't think Squall would appreciate seeing us getting sick speaking of him in the past tense on his tomb."
He wrapped an arm around Selphie and took her away. The girl with the pigtail, Zell's girlfriend, approached him, silently asking him to come home. He got up and took her hand.
Just before leaving, he took one last glance of the monument and stared at the name carved on it for a while.
"Looks like you had it after all, Squall..."
Then he left with a little smile over the tears as he could still remember Squall's words from back then.
"I won't have it!!! I'm not having anyone talking about me in the past tense!!!"
Zell closed his eyes when he felt his heart ache. His girlfriend clenched his hand a little harder feeling his need for comfort.
"Squall, you've become just a memory..."
Rinoa didn't eat or sleep much the following days, growing more depressed by the day. She kept walking around silently all the time, never talking to anyone. The others came to deliver the gunblade. Squall lost it in the last battle but Zell saved it on an impulse. They wanted to cheer her up a little but they were not very cheerful themselves. It was still fresh. They evn found themselves feeling guilty. Seifer and Quistis also died there but they were only thinking of Squall.
The truthis that they were worried about Rinoa's state. All this crying wasn't good for her baby, but she wouldn't listen to their advices like they were not even there. They left saying they would visit her again.
It was because they were always thinking about Rinoa they ended up thinking about Squall.
Rinoa placed the gunblade in its case on a dresser in the room prepared for her baby. There was a little bed int he corner and a rocking chair just beside it.
Like a zombie, Rinoa caressed the name carved on the silver sheet. She stared at the griever head under it and opened the case. She felt like crying when she thought he would never use it again. She still couldn't understand why he decided to remodel the LionHeart into the Revolver. Anyway, it could still remind her of him. She closed the case and walked to the closet. She opened the door and took the only piece of clothing in it: a black leather jacket with a feather collar. The feathers were not white anymore and there were holes on the jacket but even washed, it still had his smell. She buried her face in it and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Recognizing his smell, her eyes filled with tears. She held the jacket tightly and let out a deep and painful sob.
"Rinoa, you must be strong," a voice said.
She jumoed and turned to the entrance. It was her father. She turned her back on him when he approached her.
"I've lost everything... Everything I've ever cared about doesn't mean anything to me anymore..."
"That's not true!"
He forced her around to look at him.
"You still have friends, you still have me!"
Though he thought Rinoa didn't have anymore tears to shed, he saw that he was wrong.
"He's gone! I don't know... I can't live without him..."
"Yes, you can!" The General said shaking her shoulders to snap her out of it.
Her eyes were swollen and her face was sick-pale. Since her wedding, Caraway had opportunities to settle things with her and she called him father once again. Seeing her giving up like that was really making him sad. He didn't want to lose her, she was all he had in life.
"He's not gone. He lives in your heart, in your memory, in your friends...in your baby..."
Rinoa widened her eyes and held her tummy as if she just remembered about her pregnancy.
"Getting depressed like that isn't sane for the baby. And I'm sure Squall wouldn't want you to cry him forever."
He looked away.
"I didn't like him much, that's true. A mercenary ready to kill if he's paid for it..."
He looked back at Rinoa and lifted a hand to keep her from saying anything.
"At least that's what I thought the first time I saw him. I thought you deserved better but... when he married you, he entered the family and became my son in some way. Life goes on, Rinoa and you must live on for your child. Squall left you another life, don't throw it away."
Rinoa scanned her father's eyes and saw he was serious. She hugged him tight and he hugged her back. She cried again in her father's arms.
"Oh, Daddy! I miss him so much..."
"You'll miss him forever, but he'll always be watching over you, the two of you."
"Yes, the two of us..."
When they broke apart, there was some kind of smile on her face.
"So? Are you ready to live once again?"
She nodded.
"Squall would be happy te see me go on, so will I."
Caraway nodded approvingly and walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around.
"Will you join me for dinner?"
She nodded with a forced smile and followed him out of the room after putting the jacket back in the closet.
Eating more this dinner than in the past few days put together, she felt herself a little more alive. She knew she would never feel the same again, but it was worth a try. She was only thinking about her baby now, concentrating on this to give her the will to get better.
Once dinner was over, she told her father with a smile that she was feeling better. Then her face changed when she felt some pain in her stomach. When Caraway asked her what was going on with a concerned face, she looked at him with shining eyes.
"It's time..."
Few hours later, a tired Rinoa was holding her newborn son in the rocking chair. Her father said she should get some rest after the big effort, but she insisted not to sleep until she could see the eyes of her son. He kept crying with his eyes shut before falling asleep. He didn't wake up since. He had little dark brown hair, almost black.
She was looking for a name for a moment but the only name coming to her mind was Squall. She shook her head, refusing to call her son after his dead father. It wouldn't be fair to give the name of a dead person just because she couldn't think better.
The baby moved in her arms and started crying for being fed. Rinoa did, already used to her mother role. Then she could see his eyes just before he shut them again. Hers shone, full of joyful tears until the baby was stuffed. He giggled, showing his eyes to his mother again, proving her she wasn't dreaming. He actually had Squall's eyes. She cried from happiness and carefully hugged her son.
"Squall," she muttered with her eyes closed. "Our son has your eyes... If you could only see him..."
She slowly got up tapping the baby's back a little before putting him back in the little bed. He fell asleep right away and she caressed his cheek, wondering if he would look more like Squall or like her once he's grown up.
"I'll see him if you want it that much," a far too familiar voice said.
Rinoa stopped breathing and froze. She thought she was crazy while she slowly turned to the door, feeling her heart beat faster and faster. It stopped beating when she caught sight of Squall in the middle of the room. She turned her head to the closed closet when she saw he was wearing his usual clothes: the leather pants and feather collar jacket. She knew she was hallucinating because he was buried in his uniform and the jacket was in the closet.
Squall looked down at his pasnt and held them.
"I never really liked the SeeD uniform," he said reading her mind. "Far too formal. I feel more like myself in those but I know they were not good anymore. I had to choose my own."
It was his voice, there was no way she could deny it. Like a zombie, she walked to him. He looked at her with his usual cold look, but with a smile.
Rinoa stopped a few inches from him, unable to believe in her luck. She lifted a trembling hand to his forehead showing a single scar, the one he always had since the first time she saw him. Her fingers touched the skin and her eyes shone. She followed the scar, feeling like fainting.
"It...it can't be..."
He reached for her hand and took it with both of his.
"You wished twice for me to see our son. I came back just for you with no sign of what happened. I'm the old Squall you always knew."
He smiled to her crying face. Seeing he was real, she couldn't help herself. She threw herself in his arms. He held her tight against him, caressing her hair.
"You missed me that much?" he asked when he heard her cry.
She looked up at him with tears all over her face.
"You're kidding?! If it wasn't for our son, I'm sure I wouldn't even be here now!"
Squall roughly took her by the shoulders and held her at arms length from him, looking angry.
"I forbid you! I came back because you wanted me to see our son, but you're the only one who can see me. Nobody else!"
She remained silent, looking at him. He softened his voice and his look.
"I... can I see him?"
She smiled with shining eyes and went to the craddle. She carefully took the baby and he didn't even wake up. She walked to Squall and showed him the little face. Squall smiled.
"He looks like you, Rinoa."
"Maybe, but he got your eyes..."
Their eyes locked and both kept silent. Rinoa broke her eyes from his and put the baby back in bed. She turned to Squall to ensure herself he was still there and he was. She smiled and walked to him to hug him again. He hugged her back.
"I don't want you to leave again! I want you to stay here with us forever."
Squall closed his eyes and sighed.
"That's impossible, Rinoa. You have to live without me from now on. You'll grow older while I won't because I'm..."
"I don't care!" Rinoa interrupted breaking away from him. "I want you to stay even if I'm the only one to see you and that you're... a ghost..."
She ran out of the room, leaving the wandering soul of Squall alone.
Rinoa drove all the way to the Garden and hoped the others would be there. Once she stepped in, she wondered if it was her imagination messing with her or if Garden had become dark and lifeless like that all of a sudden. She looked around before heading for the cafeteria. She was sure she would at least find Zell there. And there he was, sitting alone in the empty place, something really unusual because it was always full of people. He had his face in a hand and a hot dog in the other... remained untouched! Rinoa ran to him.
"Zell!"
He almost fell down his chair from the surprise.
"Ri...Rinoa? What are you doing here?!"
He put his hot dog on the table and got up brushing his clothes. She went to him and hugged him tight.
"Wha..." he started.
"Oh, Zell!" she said looking up to him. "Squall... Squall's back!"
He widened his eyes at the words, thinking she was crazy when he looked in her shining eyes. He knew she wasn't lying.
"What do you mean 'back'?"
She opened her mouth.
"Wait, I'll get the others," he cut her. "Stay here."
He quickly left the cafeteria for the Training center where he knew Selphie was helping Irvine shoot with a single eye.
"That's it, she's gone insane..."
On the way back to the cafeteria, Zell told his friends what Rinoa said and both were thinking the same thing: she was crazy...
They entered the cafeteria and saw Rinoa sat at a table with her hands together close to her face. She turned her head to her friends standing in front of her. She got up.
"Oh, guys! He's back, he came back to me!"
Zell looked at his friends in a you-see-what-I-meant face. Selphie turned to Rinoa and decided to take care of this.
"Tell us everything, Rinoa."
The guys nodded to her decision and they all sat down.
"I was giving up when my father reminded me I was about to give birth to what Squall left. It happened after dinner..."
"What? Then you should be resting now!" Irvine exclaimed.
Zell and Selphie looked at him, all three thinking the same thing.
"When I saw his eyes, his crystal blue eyes, I wished for a second time Squall could be there to see him... and he was. I couldn't believe it at first, thinking I was crazy but it was his voice, it was him! I could even hold him in my arms!"
She hugged herself, closing her eyes. Selphie got up from her place and went to put a hand on Rinoa's shoulder.
"It's pretty late, Rinoa. With all you've gone through you must be really tired. Why don't you go back to your son and take some rest?"
Rinoa couldn't believe it: her friend was talking to her like to a little kid! She wasn't believing her...
"But..."
She turned to Zell.
"He said he came back because I wished twice he could see our son!"
Zell smiled comfortingly at her.
"We'll go at your place in a few days when you're better."
She was shocked. Even Zell, Squall's best friend...
"How can you, Zell? You're his best friend, how can you doubt my words?"
Irvine got up and went to her side. She got up and grabbed his collar.
"Please, Irvine! Tell me you believe me!"
She was about to cry, feeling betrayed by her own friends. If Irvine could only say he believed her, she'd be happy with that. He smiled comfortingly at her and took her shoulders.
"You miss him so much and you're so tired you're sure yousaw him."
She widened her eyes and broke away from him. She gave him a mad face with sad eyes.
"You too... you're supposed to be my friends, suopport me in that hard period and you...you..."
"Rinoa," Zell started reaching out to her when he saw tears on her face.
She looked at the ground and ran out of the place with an arm covering her face and her cries. Zell stood there with his hand held out to nothing.
"Rinoa..."
The SeeD slowly lowered his arms each side of him and lowered his head. He shut his eyes and clenched his fists.
"It's hard...for all of us," he whispered.
He clenched his teeth, feeling guilt fill him.
"Squall...why'd you leave? It's my fault... if I wouldn't have been so careless, you wouldn't have needed to protect me and you... you would still be alive..."
"Zell!" Selphie exclaimed slapping the boy's face.
He held his cheek, looking at her a really childish way. Selphie bit her lip.
"I'm sorry, Zell. You were going..."
She didn't have the time to finish her sentence Zell ran out of the cafetria too. The brunette felt sorry for what she did and really wondered what was wrong with her friend. Irvine's arm around her shoulders surprised her. She looked up to him.
"Do you think I shouldn't have done that?"
Irvine slowly shook his head.
"He needed it."
"What was he talking about? He said he was responsible for Squall's death... Is it...true?"
Irvine shrugged indifferently.
"Like that guy I knew used to say: 'Whatever...'"
Rinoa quickly got back to Deling City, feeling more lonely than ever, betrayed by her own friends. Luckily it was late and she knew her way or she surely would have had an accident with her sight all blurred from the painful tears.
The car loudly braked near the car renting shop. Rinoa got out and took a bus to the mansion. Once she was in front of the door, she wondered if she didn't imagine Squall being there. Then she shook her head. No, it was him, his voice, his arms, his smell... he was there... was he? Desperately willing to know for sure if she was crazy, she urged in the mansion and up the stairs to the baby's room. The door was closed as it was supposed to be. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed and clenched her necklace.
"Please, be there when I open this door, please be there..." she prayed.
The door was opened and the room scanned. Ther was the craddle and right beside it, looking in it was Squall. Rinoa felt joyful tears rush to her eyes and run down her cheeks. She smiled and ran to Squall. He just had the time to turn away from the craddle she was in his arms.
"Thank goodness, you're still here," she cried in his chest. "I was afraid the others were right, that I was crazy and that I imagined you being there."
"The others said that? You told them?"
The young mother looked up to him.
"I couldn't keep it a secret, I had to tell someone."
"But Rinoa, I told you you were the only one able to se me. If they would have believed, they would have wanted a proof... And besides it's not the kinda thing everyone can believe. Yourself when you saw me eariler, you thought you were going insane. So imagine one of them coming to you telling their dead friend is back to life, could you believe it right away?"
She thought about it a few seconds.
"Well...hardly. Probably I would ask for proofs."
The dead leader smiled.
"See? And it must have hurt them. You go there in evening while you're supposed to be in a depressed state and you claim your dead husband is back. Maybe hear you talk about me like that hurt them."
Rinoa broke from his embrace and walked to the cradle to take a look at her son, thoughtful.
"Did he woke up?"
"No. Even if he can't see me, I think he can sense my presence."
It was silent for a while, then Rinoa thought of something.
"Zell..." she said low.
"Mm?"
Rinoa left the craddle for the window and looked at the night of Deling City, lifeless at this hour.
"There was something in Zell's eyes... Don't know what, but..."
The phone rang at that moment and Rinoa prayed someone would pick it up befor the baby would wake up. It didn't ring twice. Rinoa stared at the door for a while, waiting, when a servant appeared and bowed with her hands together on her apron.
"The phone call's for you, miss Leonhart."
She had a corner smile for her husband ghost before going out of the room to pick up the phone in the next one which was hers.
"Rinoa, here," she said.
"..."
"Hello?" Rinoa asked.
"Hope I didn't wake up the baby..."
It was Zell's voice, but there was something wrong with it.
"Zell? No, he's still asleep."
Silence again. Rinoa was feeling uneasy, knowing there was something wrong with her. She decided to wait for him to speak.
"There's something I think you should know. About Squall's death..."
Rinoa stopped breathing.
"Go ahead," she invited him.
"Not on phone, too hard. Is it too late?"
"No, you can come."
"I really don't want to bother you. I know you're tired..."
"Then let's say it's to make myself forgiven for what I did earlier. I guess Iwas tired after all. Come on, I'll introduce you to my son."
"..."
"Zell?"
"Sure, I'm coming."
Rinoa said goodbye and hanged up. She took her elbow in a hand and her chin in the other, thinking.
"It's not like him to sound so serious... What can he have to tell me about Squall's death I don't already know?"
She shrugged and turned around for the door. Squall was standing there, looking at her.
"It was Zell?"
"How do you know?"
Squall shook his head.
"I bet he takes himself responsible... the fool..."
"Responsible? For what? Your death?"
"Rinoa?" Caraway's voice called. "Who are you talking to?"
He came at the entrance, concerned. Rinoa couldn't hide the smile that came to her face seeing her father close to Squall but without seeing him.
"I was just asking questions outloud to myself," she lied. "Zell is coming for an important chat."
Caraway disaprovingly shook his head.
"It's not good for you, Rinoa. You need to rest. What will you do when the baby keeps you up all nights long? The servants will help you but only you can feed him."
She nodded, understanding.
"I won't do it again, father. Just for tonight. Zell sounded strange so I told him to come."
"Mm... alright then. But from now on, I want you to take care of yourself."
She saluted, mimicing Squall besides her father. She laughed a little. Caraway had a smile.
"Glad to see you're still in a good mood."
It just wasn't for the reasons he thought about.
He left the room with Squall making funny faces to the general's back. Rinoa put a hand over her mouth until she was sure her father was far enough not to hear her anymore. She laughed with all her heart, bringing a smile to Squall's lips. When she stopped and looked at him, he had a hand on his hip and his cold face again.
"I never saw you laughing like that," he said.
"And I never thought you were so funny. Since the first time we met, you never used to be funny on purpose."
Squall arched an eyebrow.
"On purpose?"
"There were sometimes you made me laugh, but it was because I thought you were a dummy."
"Really? Then why did you marry that 'dummy'?"
"Because I loved him and I didn't want to leave him."
There goes an uneasy silence. It was cut by the bell of the door, making both living girl and dead guy jump from surprise. Rinoa became worried.
"Already? It must be very urgent!"
She past by Squall and went down to the door where a servant was talking to Zell. He looked up at her, making her stop half-way in the stairs. She could guess a heavy burden in Zell's eyes. She walked down again and dismissed her servant.
"Want something to drink? Hungry?"
When Zell shook his head, Rinoa knew there was definately something wrong with her friend. Zell refusing a free meal? He was either sick or really concerned.
"Where can we talk in private?"
Rinoa was about to answer when cries came from above.
"Time to feed the little guy. Come along, I'll introduce you."
"You sure?"
"Of course, come on."
Zell followed Rinoa up the stairs to the baby's room. Rinoa saw Squall trying to calm the baby with his presence, but it was no use. Rinoa took the baby and sat down on the chair and began feeding him. He stopped crying right away. Zell was standing at the door, blushing a little. Rinoa looked at him and invited him on the chair against the wall.
"Just don't look if it makes you uneasy. Come on, tell me what you wanted to say."
Zell sat down and kept his hands between his knees with his head down.
"It was early that night. The others, Irvine, Selphie, Quistis, Seifer and Squall were all asleep and it was my guarding shift. I sat down in front of the fire, dozing. Squall sooner asked me if he could take my turn so that I could sleep. I haven't slept much the past nights so... well I refused, saying it was my turn and I wanted to take it like a true SeeD. I so badly didn't want to fall asleep I decided to take a walk. There was nothing unusual until I saw a figure approaching the camp from the other side. I shouted for the others to wake up. They took their weapons out and fought but they were all sleepy and the surprise attack made it harder for us. I saw Seifer and Quistis fight together until Quistis fell, dead. Seifer was desperate and didn't fight anymore..."
"You mean Seifer and Quistis..." Rinoa cut in rocking the baby for sleep.
Zell nodded with his eyes closed.
"He died shortly after Quistis, falling right over her. Selphie was in danger and about to get hit by an Ultima spell, but Irvine stood in the way. Since no one can escape an Ultima, she was still hurt and Irvine lost an eye."
He paused, finding hard to remember all this. Rinoa took the baby back in his craddle and took a peek at Squall, but he was facing her his back in the middle of the room. Rinoa sat back in the rocking chair and turned it to face Zell.
"Continue, please."
"Hum... oh, yeah. Squall was trying to help everyone and fight in the same time, but he couldn't save Quistis and Seifer or protect Irvine and Selphie."
"No, magic or potions?"
"None of us thought about magic and we didn't have any more potions, that's why we were coming closer to the cities. Squall eliminated the threat from Irvine and Selphie. Selphie was uncounscious and Irvine in big pain. Squall asked me if I could take care of the enemies by myself and I answered I could so he tried to help the others while I was hoping Seifer and Quistis were still alive..."
He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.
[Scene switches to that night]
Zell was fighting three oponents in the same time. Because of his tiredness, he was able to perform limit breaks, that's how he won. He was catching his breath and turned to his fallen friends, crouching down. Sundenly, gunfire came from behind him. A sniper, waiting for the right moment. Zell yelled from the pain when the deadly bullets hit him and he fell on his back. The sniper came out of the shadows and approached, aiming at the badly wounded SeeD. Squall got up when he heard the scream and saw his friend fall for the ground. Then he saw the guy with the gun walking to Zell with an evil grin. Squall saw images flashing in his mind. When Zell wanted to shake hands with him before the field exam, when he was punching the air from boredom, feeling guilty for letting the president know they were from Garden, and more scenes reminding Squall how funny Zell is and how he wanted to be a good leader like Squall.
"Damn... I got careless..." Zell whispered.
"Good-bye, SeeD!"
The guy pointed his gun at Zell.
"No!" Squall shouted.
Zell managed to get on his knees and see the guy turn his gun to Squall.
"Don't move or you're toasted!"
Squall made a step forward defyingly and the guy shot a few times. Squall was brought on his knees with a scream and dropped his gunblade.
"Squall, don't!" Zell plead. "It's alright..."
The leader had his palms on the ground. The gunman watched him a while before turning back to Zell.
"Interfere again and I'll kill you first. It won't be hard to defeat the two others then."
He aimed at Zell once again.
"Where were we?"
Squall moaned, taking his gunblade to help himself up. He walked to the guy with his weapon in two hands. The mean guy shook his head.
"Tsk, tsk, how stubborn..."
"I'm the leader of this team! If you must kill someone, kill me!"
"Squall, no!" Zell protested.
The guy smiled evily and switched targets once more.
"As you wish."
He shot again, making holes all over Squall's clothes. He yelled as the blood was flowing around him. He fell on his knees, but didn't drop his gunblade this time.
"Stay where you are, Squall, please..."
Squall coughed and blood came out of his mouth. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He moaned from the pain and shut his eyes, gritting his teeth and got up once again.
"Are you persistent?! I can't believe you want do die for this stupid guy!"
"He's right, Squall... I'm stupid, it's all my fault... I must die, it's my punishment."
"No one else...will die on me..."
He ran to the gunman with his gunblade. The guy pointed his gun at Squall and shot. The single bullet found its place in Squall's shoulder, making him drop his gunblade and drop on his knees again. The bad guy laughed evily and aimed at Squall's head. The leader looked up and when the gun shot, it found a gunblade on its way to rebound on. It didn't leave a scratch on the legendary weapon.
Squall was engulfed in a red light.
"Renzokuken!" he shouted.
He got on his feet and slashed the enemy few times before being back on the ground. He wasn't done yet.
"Take that: Rough Divide!"
He slashed him from bottom to top with a jump before coming back on his knees. The bad guy dropped his gun and fell, covered with blood. Sure that he was dead, Squall made his way to Zell, leaving his gunblade behind. Zell was on his back again, Squall's face over him.
"You alright?" Squall inquired.
"Still better than you, stupid..."
"Fools..." a voice said.
The SeeDs turned their heads in the same time and saw the dying guy take out a grenade.
"I'm taking...you both...with me..."
"Shit..." Squall said.
The guy died with the grenade armed on him. Squall knew too well they could never run because of their wounds and being so close would kill them both. Unless...
"Watch it!" Squall exclaimed covering Zell with his own body.
When the grenade exploded, zell yelled Squall's name, thinking he would never survive this. When the dust cleared up, Zill risked an eye around. Squall was on top of him, not moving and zell could sense some hot liquid rolling down his face. He knew it was blood and that it was not his.
"Squall! Come on!" Zell called shaking his friend, feeling fear fill his whole body.
Squall weakly moved and lifted his head, smiling to Zell. There were scars all over his face and blood in his hair.
"You're...alright...good..."
"Why, Squall? Why? You didn't want me to die on you, but you're dying on all of us? Why?"
"Now...that I...have friends...there's no way...I'm letting them...die..."
His eyes rolled and he fell uncounscious over Zell. Zell moved him on his back, calling his name over and over again.
"You won't! You won't!!! We're close to Deling City, we'll take you there and you'll be fine! You can't die, you hear me?! You can't!!!"
Irvine arrived with Selphie on his back, a piece of his coat around her bleeding leg and one around his head to cover his eye. Selphie woke up and they kept calling Squall's name again and again until Zell managed to find a boost of energy to take Squall to Deling with Irvine and Selphie, calling his name non-stop to wake him up.
[Scene fades back to Rinoa's house]
Rinoa opened her eyes, tears all over her face. She wondered how she could see it all so clearly just because Zell told her until she saw two hands each side of her head. She turned around and saw Squall there. She understood it was him who did that. She wiped the tears away from her face and looked at Zell. He had his face in his hands and was crying.
"Zell," Rinoa said walking to him. "It wasn't your fault."
She kneeled in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder. Zell shook his head.
"I was sentrying that night. If I wouldn't have been so careless, I wouldn't have been back attacked and he would still be..."
He didn't finish his sentence.
"It wasn't your fault, Zell," Squall said.
He asked Rinoa to repeat his words. She obeyed with little changes.
"I chose to protect you. Would I have tried to leave when the grenade exploded, we would both be dead."
Zell looked at Rinoa. (she changed the 'I' for 'he' and 'we' for 'you'. 'He chose...' 'You would both...')
"I don't regret what cost me my life just like Irvine doesn't regret what cost him his eye. You're my best friend despite the fact that I didn't like you at first. I'll never regret it."
Zell widened his eyes.
"It doesn't sound like you at all, Rinoa. It sounds more like...him..."
Rinoa cleared her throat.
"I learned to talk like him I suppose," she lied.
He had a hand in his hair.
"I wish I had the chance to see him one last time... If only I wouldn't have fallen uncounscious..."
Rinoa didn't know what to do to help him. He was so sure it was his fault.
"Wish it once again, Zell," Squall said too low for Rinoa to hear. "Wish it once again and you'll see me..."
"Zell, do you take yourself responsible for Seifer and Quistis too?" Rinoa inquired.
"A little but not like for Squall. They fought and couldn't make it. I couldn't fight anymore when Squall... I was totally helpless..."
Squall was now just by Zell's side when Rinoa looked at him. He tried to hold his shoulder but his hand got through. Rinoa felt sorry for the helpless Squall until she looked back at Zell. He was staring at her curiously.
"What are you looking at? Was it...true? You can see him?"
Rinoa bit her lip and nodded.
"How? Why can't I?"
He turned to where Rinoa was looking sooner and saw nothing.
"Why are you the only one, Rinoa?"
"Because I...he came back to see our son."
"How I wish I could see him too. Even for a single time..."
Rinoa and Squall both widened their eyes at the words. Zell wished it twice, then...
Squall put a hand on his friend's shoulder and could clench it. Zell didn't scream or startled, he just stiffened, looking in front of him with wide eyes. His mouth slowly opened before he slowly turned his head to his side. He slowly looked up until he met Squall's face.
"Twice..." he muttered. "She said she wished it twice..."
"And so did you," Squall said.
How Zell's face lightened up made Rinoa put both her hands over her mouth from emotion. He reached for the ungloved hand on his shoulder and couldn't believe it.
"Squall..."
The dead SeeD smiled with emotion. He didn't know somebody else would be able to see him even wishing twice. He clenched the shoulder comfortingly. Zell suddely got up and hugged his old friend to ensure himself he wasn't crazy like he thought Rinoa was sooner. Squall held him back, feeling like holding a child in need for comfort.
"Thank you, Squall. I'm so sorry... It's all my fault..."
"No, Zell. It's no one's. It simply happened and we couldn't do anything for it. Except for when things are done on purpose, there isn't anybody to blame."
Zell looked up and the feeling of guilt he had since Squall died disappeared, the burden on his heart flew away.
"Thanks..."
They broke apart, but kept looking at each other.
"Is there something else tou want to say? You don't need me now that your heart is free from guilt."
"..."
"Well?"
"I...there was so much I wanted to tell you when the others told me you were..."
Zell bit his lip and looked at the ground. Squall's hand was on his shoulder again.
"I want you to keep training and studying in Garden. Improve your ranking and do even better than I ever did. Don't try to be like me, everyone's unique. Be better than me. Promise me, okay?"
Zell nodded with a smile.
"I promise you I will."
"Good. Now, farewell, my friend."
His form faded but only to Zell which makes it very weird.
"Oh!" Squall's voice echoed. "Zell, thanks for talking about me in the past tense on my grave. Thanks for being my friend..."
His smiling face disappeared for Zell who held out his hand.
"Squall!"
Rinoa could still see him and she found weird that Zell couldn't anymore.
Zell fell on his knees with his palms on the floor. Rinoa rushed to his side.
"I'll always remember this smile. It was for me..."
"Yes," Rinoa said helping him up.
She hugged him and he cried again, but this time from joy.
"Can I... stay here tonight? I don't want to go home right now..."
"Sure."
Rinoa took Zell to the guest room and wished him good night before going back to the baby's room. Squall was sitting on the chair Zell was sitting on sooner, his face in his hands. Walking to his, Rinoa saw he was crying so she went by his side and put an arm around his shoulder and her hand on the other.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm...I'm confused... At first I didn't want the others to know I was back but... now I would like to tell them all something..."
He looked up at her and smiled through his tears.
"Never thought I'd be able to cry, huh? I never thought I would..."
He kept silent for a while.
"I lied..."
"Huh?"
"Well, not really... I said as long as something isn't done on purpose, there's no one to be blamed, but... I did this on purpose, it wasn't an accident, I wanted to save Zell. So if there's anyone responsible, it's me..."
"Squall..."
There was nothing else to say.
The next morning, Irvine called to ask if Zell was there, very concerned. Rinoa reassured him Zell was leaving this morning.
About to leave, Zell told Rinoa he would keep this a secret. He promised he'd try his best to do what Squall asked him to.
Days past slowly. Rinoa tried to sleep more when the baby was asleep and she still couldn't find a name. Squall was always in his room, watching over his son. Rinoa wanted Squall to stay forever. Verytime she was showing up in the room, he was smiling to her. But one morning, two weeks later, Rinoa found Squall staring out the window. She knew there was something wrong, but before she would ask, Squall called her.
"Rinoa, we need to talk."
She felt her heartbeat fastened and she clenched her rings. She was finally able to fit in her old usual clothes. Except for her breasts, bigger since the baby's birth.
"I...I can't stay forever. I know you would like it, but... You can't go anywhere with me, since you're the only one I'm visible for. I don't sleep, I don't eat... I don't want you to grow older while I'll alway look like a 20 years old..."
He sighed and turned around to her.
"Sorry, I just had to tell."
"I can't face it! I couldn't face your death and now that you're here for me, I can't bear you leaving again! I can't..."
The baby started crying so Rinoa went to take him and change his diaper. Then he asked to be fed so she did. Squall stared out the window again when a servant appeared at the entrance. She cleared her throat seeing Rinoa was busy.
"You have a visitor, miss Leonhart. Do you want me to tell him to come back later?"
"No, let him in."
The servant bowed and signaled to someone by her side to enter. Zell showed up with his usual smile.
"Yo, Rinoa! How's it going?"
"You look great, Zell!"
He smiled with all his teeth.
"Is Squall still here?"
"Yes, why?"
"Got big news for him..."
He took a peek outside to be sure nobody was listening.
"Squall, I followed your advice and guess what?"
Rinoa turned to the window and Squall turned around.
"Cid made me the new SeeD leader! I'm the Commander now!"
"Congratulations, Zell!" Squall exclaimed.
"He congratulates you, Zell. And me too! It's really great!"
"Well I just came to tell you this. Gotta go back to my duties now. See ya later, Rinoa! Thanks again, Squall! I'll keep improving!"
He waved at Rinoa then left.
"I knew he could do it, I knew it," Squall said. "This responsibility will probably make him more serious."
"I'm sure of it."
Squall turned back to the window and kept silent. Once the baby was done eating, Rinoa walked around the room gently tapping his back. Then she rocked him in the chair until he was back to sleep. She put him back in the craddle.
"What about Lag...my father?" Squall suddenly asked. "How is he?"
Over the craddle, Rinoa turned her head to Squall.
"He was sad he didn't have the chance to know you better."
Squall nodded. Rinoa went to leave the room. She took a last glance of Squall.
"Father..." he said under his breath.
Rinoa had a sorry smile and left.
"Maybe...maybe I should tell Laguna about this. The others didn't believe me, maybe he will!"
"Uncle Laguna?"
Laguna looked over his desk and smiled.
"What is it, Elle?"
"Rinoa Leonhart is here."
Laguna quickly got up and left his desk when he saw Rinoa entering. He asked Ellone to leave them alone then walked to Rinoa. They hugged each other a little.
"What can I do for you? What brings you here?"
He looked at her from top to bottom.
"You look great! And I can see you had your baby."
"Yes, I'm mother of a cute little boy."
"What's his name?"
"Haven't decided yet. But that's not why I'm here."
"I guess so. Come on in!"
He went back to sit down behind his desk and invited Rinoa to a seat in front of him.
"So?"
"It's about Squall."
Laguna's face totally changed at the name. Sadness and pain past over it but he refused to let it show to Rinoa.
"Well I guess you're dealing with it just fine," Laguna told.
"It's not really hard since he was with me for the past two weeks..."
Laguna frwoned, not sure to understand.
"What do you mean?"
"I...wished twice he could be there to see our son and...he came. He was there only for my eyes, for me only."
The Esthar president suddenly got up and banged his palms on the desk, making Rinoa jump.
"What did you say? He's back?"
Rinoa wasn't sure she understood what was on Laguna's face. He calmed down and faced her his back.
"It can't be..."
"What?"
He turned back to her.
"The same thing happened to me when I learned Raine died. I wished twice I could see her one last time to tell her I was sorry for not being there and...she appeared to me, saying she would always watch over me and Elle, that I had to take care of her. I wanted her to stay, but she said she was dead, it was over, that I had to let her go and live my life by myself with Elle."
Rinoa was astonished.
"She stayed with me for two days before I decided she could go. Squall's been with you for two weeks?!"
She nodded. Laguna walked around the desk to her and put his hands on her shoulders.
"I bet Squall wants the same thing: he wants you to live without him and with your son, that you let him go rest in peace."
Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged the older man whom was her husband's father.
"I can't face it, it's too hard!"
Laguna hugged her back, sounding like her father.
"It's for the best, Rinoa. You can't keep him alive forever. I'm sure he only wanted you to learn to live without him."
"I...I'm afraid I'll forget about him!"
"You won't. You'll always have your son to remind you of him."
She looked up at him and saw shining tears in his eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"Alright...I know that's what he wants because he told me already. I'm ready, now."
"Good."
They broke apart and Rinoa went to leave.
"I'll come back later..."
And she left.
When she entered the baby's room, Squall was over the craddle, watching the baby once more. Squall turned to her and smiled.
"I'm back from seeing Laguna... I told him and he said Raine..."
Squall nodded.
"I know. Raine appeared to him ago too. She told me."
Rinoa walked to Squall, feeling nervous. She hugged him tight.
"I'm ready, Squall. You can go now," she whispered.
"You sure?"
She nodded, her eyes closed. He moved her away and smiled.
"Thanks, Rinoa. I know it's hard for you but... I'll always watch over you, the two of you..."
He took off his necklace and placed it in Rinoa's hands.
"Give it to my father, ok?"
She looked at it.
"But is it...?"
"It's real, it's the only real thing I kept. Would you give it to him?"
She nodded.
"And what do I have from you?"
"My jacket...but more importantly, our son..."
"You're right..."
"Tell Irvine I'm sure he'll be fine even with a single eye. Tell Selphie not to lose her childish temper, she's like our little sister. Tell Zell I'm really proud of him."
"For Zell, alright, but the others won't believe me!"
"Just tell them..."
She nodded. He walked a bit backward.
"Our son will be a SeeD, Squall. A great one with a gunblade...your gunblade. I'll tell him what a great SeeD you were, I'll tell him everything."
Squall nodded approvingly.
"The world doesn't have any gunblade expert anymore and it really needs one. But don't speak too highly of me or he'll grow up in my shadow, trying to be like me just to please you."
"I promise."
She wondered if Squall would disappear the way he did for Zell, if he would still be there, but for nobody to see. Then another question came in her mind.
"I kept thinking but I can't figure out how to name him."
"Laguna?" Squall suggested with a smile.
Rinoa widened her eyes in surprise. She never thought Squall would want his son to have his father's name...
"It's my way to show I respect him and tell I'm proud of him, proud to be his son," he explained to answer her curious face.
He was about to leave and Rinoa could feel it in her whole soul. She threw herself in his arms once again before looking at him.
"Do you think we can...for one last time?"
He understood what she meant just by looking in her eyes. He bent over her and gently kissed her on the lips. A tear ran down her cheek as she recognized those lips.
"I love you and always will," Squall whispered.
"I love you too..."
"Good-bye, Rinoa...don't forget me..."
"Never..." she whispered.
They broke apart and Squall faded with one last smile.
"Squall..."
Rinoa closed her eyes and felt a heavy burden off her shoulders. She was feeling lighter, more alive. She looked at her hand and saw the necklace still there. When she heard a sound from the craddle, she walked to it and saw little Laguna was awake. She took him in her arms and rocked him.
"Daddy's gone now, but he's not far... He's still with us, it's just that we can't see him..."
The boy giggled a little. Rinoa looked at him and smiled.
"Let's go see some friends of your dad. I got a message for them."
She placed a baby bag on her chest and placed the baby in it before heading towards Garden. She saw the three of them all walking out of the Training Center. When they saw her, they waved at her and went her way.
"How cute!" Selphie exclaimed. "Say hello to auntie Selphie!"
Rinoa smiled and looked at Zell.
"It's over Zell, he's gone..."
Zell nodded, understanding.
"Who's gone?" Irvine inquiried.
Rinoa looked at him while Selphie to make the baby giggle.
"I know you didn't believe me, but... Irvine, Squall's sure you'll do fine even with a single eye..."
"What the?"
"Selphie, Dquall wants you to keep yopur childish temper, that you're like our little sister..."
"Huh?"
"And Zell, Squall is very proud of you and wants you to keep improving..."
Zell nodded while Selphie and Irvine looked at each other with wide opened eyes from surprise. Rinoa spun around.
"I promised him I would tell you so I did. I have to go now."
She left, leaving Irvine and Selphie completely lost.
"Then...it was true?" Irvine asked feeling guilty.
Zell nodded.
"We thought she was tired but he was really back..." Selphie said.
"Only Rinoa could see him," Zell said. "But he was back..."
Zell kept secret the fact that he saw him too for a while.
"I promise you, Squall..." Selphie whispered. "I'll honor your words..."
"I'll keep fighting," Irvine said. "Even with a single eye..."
"I'll do my best as the leader of SeeD..."
When Rinoa entered the president's office in the presidential palace of Esthar, it seemed Laguna was expecting her. He got up from behind his desk and walked to her, smiling when he saw she brought her son along.
"How did it go?"
"It's over, he left..."
She reached for the baby bag and got something she placed in Laguna's hands. He couldn't believe his eyes when he recognized the necklace.
"He wanted you to have it."
Laguna lifted it to his eyes and put it on. Then he looked at the baby.
"My grandson... Who would have thought: not so long ago, I never thought I could be a father and now I'm grandfather... Can I?"
"Sure!"
Rinoa carefully took the baby out the bag and placed him in Laguna's arms.
"He finally got a name. I couldn't find one so I asked Squall."
Laguna rocked the baby a little before at Rinoa.
"So?"
"He suggested 'Laguna'"
"Really?"
She told him why he chose this name and Laguna couldn't believe it.
"I'm proud of you too..." he said too low for Rinoa to hear.
"Uncle Laguna?" Ellone called as she entered. "Why are you crying?"
He wiped away the tears on his face and smiled.
"Oh, it's nothing..."
He closed his eyes and paid his last respects to Squall.
Not far from them, two figures invisible to their eyes were smiling.
"Let's go back, now Squall," one said.
"Yes, mother," the other one answered.
The figures walked away and faded.
The next day, the inscription on Squall's grave was changed: 'Here lies Squall Leonhart-Loire. Leaves lots of people in sorrow, but not alone.'
End.
Carole M.
Done august 4, 2000 at 11:23 a.m.
Typed may 28, 2002 at 1:25 p.m.
Note: I know it took me long to bring this story from paper to comp, but I don't have one, so I'm typing when I can... Since My boyfriend got a comp now, I'll be making them fast! (I got 5 more to type!)
I finished this one listening to FF8 soundtrack. Quite inspiring if you ask me... So was it good? I apologize to all Squall's fans for making him die... I don't understand myself for doing it considering I like him so much... I think it didn't trun out bad, what you think?
I want to say something to Kate Lorraine (or anyone who read The Orphan. I read The Orphan WHILE I was making this one, but I started it before so I swear I didn't copy anything, it's just a coincidence. For those wondering what I mean, read it, you'll understand. See ya!
Well here it comes like I promised. This one was inspired when I was watching Casper on T.V. It was so strong in my mind I just had to do it!
This story occurs... two years after the events from FF8. Squall and Rinoa are married for a little more than a year. Squall is in a mission for height months and Rinoa is pregnant since... the day right before Squall left. Something's gonna turn her life upside down but no matter how hard it is, she'll have to deal with it...
Enjoy!
1 Haunted
In Caraway's mansion Rinoa was living in since her wedding, she was looking at her reflection on the mirror. She put her hands on her stomach, which was now pretty big, and carressed it with love. She sighed with a smile. She knew it wouldn't be much longer until the baby would be born and she wished Squall would be back at that moment. When he left for this important mission, he didn't know Rinoa was pregnant. In fact she didn't know herself because it happened the night before he left. She could still remember his words on the exit of the mansion:
"I love you. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Then he kissed her and she hasn't seen him since. She never had any opportunity to tell him. He was sending her letters every weeks but he was always moving on so she couldn't reply. She smiled when she sensed the baby kick her gently. She stroked her stomach possessively, with some kind of passion.
She was disturbed when it rang at the door. She looked up and walked out of her room, cursing the clothes she was wearing. Her usual clothes were too tight for her state right now.
It rung again, sounding urgent to her ears. She went to the door as fast as she could. When she reached the door, servants arrived in the same time, scolded by her father.
"What on Earth were you all dreaming about?! I got work to do and Rinoa is in no state to run through the mansion!!"
"I'm sorry, General," a servant apologized. "I was washing the dishes and I thought someone else was close to it."
"Come on, father," Rinoa interfered apparently in a good mood. "I'm already here so I'll just open the door and stop making a big deal out of it."
She turned from her father to the door with a smile and opened the door. She lost her smile and widened her eyes when she saw Zell barely standing up in front of her. He was covered with blood and his clothes were a mess. He was about to faint, a bloody hand against the door frame to keep him from collapsing.
"Zell!" Rinoa exclaimed bringing her hands to her mouth. "What happened to you?!"
"Rinoa," he whispered with a hoarse voice. "Ugh..."
He fell forward but Rinoa managed to catch him befor he hit the marble floor.
"Zell! Where's Squall? Speak to me!"
She rested him on her lap and stroked his face from the bloody hair before his eyes, leaving traces of blood on his face.
"Big joke... eight months and it was all... just a big joke..."
"What do you mean?"
Zell coughed in pain and gritted his teeth.
"Our target was making fools of us... while we thought we were following the enemy, they were following us all the time... many losses... Quistis...and Seifer...both dead..."
Rinoa bit her lip. Seifer had been back in Garden and finally became a SeeD to get himself killed after a few months. How sad...
"Irvine lost an eye...protecting Selphie but... she's still hurt..."
"What about Squall?" she asked in fear. "How is he?"
"Deling City was the closest place we were to... the only place we could think about...sorry Rinoa..."
Zell was about to faint, but Rinoa wasn't about to let him do so until he would tell her what she wanted to know. However hard it could be. She took him by the collar of his jacket and shook him a little.
"Where's Squall?? Tell me, I can take it!!"
"Ou... outside with Irvine...and Selphie..." he answered lowly before fainting.
Rinoa carefully rested Zell on the floor before quickly getting up, turning to the servants. She clenched her necklace and there was fear all over her face.
"Call for help, hurry!" she commanded before running outside.
She didn't have to run very far. She saw the lying form of Squall on the grass the second she was out. Selphie clenching her temporarely bandaged leg beside him and Irvine with a patch on an eye behind her with blood on his cheek but Rinoa wasn't seeing anything except for her husband lying on the ground. As she approached him, she could feel the ball in her throat growing bigger. The once white feather collar proudly worn by the leader of SeeD was now soaked with blood. The black leather pants suiting him so well before were all teared up just like his grey t-shirt covered with blood. There were holes all over his jacket.
Getting closer, unable to make a sound, Rinoa could see the new scars all over Squall's blood covered face. She kneeled by his side and put her arm under Squall's neck. She stroked his face from the longer locks of hair. The hair was now more red than brown. Scanning his body, feeling fear growing bigger, rinoa saw that the wounds all over his body were very bad. She swallowed hard and brought her eyes back on his face to see him weakly half-open his. Rinoa widened hers and tears of relief to see him alive rolled down her face.
"Squall!" she exclaimed hugging him as much as her big tummy could allow her.
He moaned in pain from the hug. She released her grip and their eyes locked. His weak ones and hers full of tears. He managed to lift a hand to her face. To her surprise, that hand wasn't gloved.
"I didn't forget your face..." he said hoarsely, leaving a trace of blood on Rinoa's cheek.
She closed her eyes to feel the warmth of his hand fill her.
"When we fell in that trap, I thought I would never see you again.."
Tears rolled down Rinoa's face.
"I missed you so much," she whispered reaching for the hand on her face.
He gave her a weak smile, then Rinoa cried.
"I don't know how we made it here," Irvine said with a painful voice.
Rinoa wasn't listening to him.
"Forgive me, Rinoa... for being away for so long. We were just married and I had to go..."
"Don't mention it," Rinoa said shaking her head. "You're here now."
Squall closed his eyes and took a deep and painful breath.
"I must apologize... being away for so long... and to leave again...this time forever..."
"No!" Rinoa objected. "You won't! Help is coming, you'll be alright! You can't leave me again, I won't let you! You got to hold on!"
There were so much tears in her eyes, she could barely see Squall. His eyes were slowly filling with tears.
"I'm...sorry, honey... Rinoa...I love you..."
His hand slipped from Rinoa's face and his hand rested against her arm when a tear ran down his cheek from his closed eyes. Rinoa's eyes were wide opened once more and she stopped breathing feeling the life leave her husband's body in her arms. Her lips formed his name but not a word past them.
"No..." Selphie whispered before looking at Rinoa.
Rinoa slowly shook her head, unable to believe it, refusing to admit it.
Selphie felt great pain inside. But knowing it was nothing compared to what Rinoa was feeling only made it worst. She was hurt for the two of them. Irvine kneeled behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She turned to him and could see sadness in his lone eye too. He was glad Zell couldn't see this. He was close to Squall, sentrying with Squall lots of nights while the others were asleep.
The young widow felt something coming up her throat as her hand was clenching her dead husband's shoulder and the other caressing his cheek. It finally reached her lips.
"Squall, NO!!!" she yelled.
The scream echoed in the whole city a long time before fading away. There was all the pain and love of the world in that scream. Suddenly, she felt very weak. She ended up over Squall's body, her face turned to his.
"I'll give birth to your child..." she whispered to Squall's deaf ears before fainting.
She never heard her friends and father calling out her name. Only Squall's last words were ringing in her mind over and over again.
"I love you... I love you... I love you..." with the weak face along like it would follow her forever.
Half a week later was the day of squall's funeral. Seifer's and Quistis' were held in the same time but most of the crowd was there for Squall. Rinoa was standing in front of Squall's grave wearing a large black dress. Her thick eye bags taught her friends she cried the whole time. Her father, General Caraway was by her side wearing a black uniform from the army. Laguna was on her other side also wearing black. Behind her was Zell with the SeeD uniform like Irvine by his side, holding Selphie who couldn't walk from her broken leg. She was wearing her uniform also. Because he was a SeeD, Squall was buried in his uniform.
Edea and Cid Kramer were there too along with Xu and Nida. The girl with the pigtail from the library was standing on the other side of Zell, holding his hand. Ellone was with Laguna, crying freely but silently.
In front of Seifer's grave were standing Raijin and Fujin, looking darn serious for the first, almost sad. Just like the three Trepies in front of Quistis' grave. To complete it, Kadowaki was there along and other people: SeeDs who had high respect for Squall or family like Zell's mother.
Rinoa looked at the sky and thought it was just like her heart: grey, stormy, cloudy, but you couldn't tell if it would rain or not, explode into a real storm or remain like this.
Many flowers were placed on the tombs by lots of people. Squall's friends had the most of them.
Rinoa looked around her. Her eyes rested on every person dressed in black. When she thought all those people came to pay some respects to the dead SeeD leader, her husband and love, she couldn't keep it inside anymore. She turned around and threw herself in Zell's arms who almost fell backward from the surprise. He hasn't fully recovered form his wounds yet and was feeling bad. The only thing was that he wasn't sure if he was feeling bad from his wounds or from Squall's death. Probably from both. He held Rinoa against him when she cried again. Selphie limped to her friend and put a friendly hand on her back. She wanted that hand to be comforting but she knew it wasn't much comfort.
"Did he knew?" Zell asked.
Rinoa looked up to him.
"About your state," he explained
Rinoa looked at the ground and slowly shook her head.
"No...he died ignoring I was pregnant..."
She held Zell and cried even more. The helpless SeeD just held her tight, following the advice of his girlfriend.
Most of the people came to give their condolences before leaving.
"So..." Irvine started, feeling uneasy. "What are you gonna do now?"
Rinoa wiped the tears from her eyes with a tissue Selphie held her.
"I'll stay in Deling."
"Can we...visit you sometimes?" Irvine asked.
"We won't be sent in missions for a while because of our wounds," Selphie told.
"Speak for yourself," Irvine said. "You got a broken leg and Zell almost nothing. Once you two are healed, you'll be able to take missions but I..."
He lifted a hand to the patch over his eye.
"My gun is the only weapon I ever used. With just an eye, I can't shoot!"
"I'm sorry, Irvy..." Selphie whispered guiltily.
"Why? I don't regret what I did that cost me this eye. My eye for your life, Sefie."
Cid came forward with Edea.
"Will you be alright, child?" the former Sorceress asked in a motherly tone.
"I suppose I'll need time... plenty of time..."
Edea nodded.
"We'll be going too now," Cid said.
"Mister Kramer," Rinoa called before he left. "I got a request I'd like to make."
"Go ahead, dear. Anything."
"Could I have his gunblade? Please..."
Cid smiled.
"Of course. I'll have Irvine, Selphie and Zell deliver it to you personnaly."
"Thanks."
The Kramer couple left. Rinoa turned to Zell and hesitated before throwing herself in his arms again.
"It hurts, Zell... it hurts so much..."
"I know," Zell whispered caressing her hair.
"I wish he'd be here to see our child once he's born..."
"I'm sure he's watching over you..." a voice said behind her.
Rinoa turned around and saw Laguna. He offered a hand and she took it. He held her a little before just holding her hands avoiding her eyes. He was afraid he would see in them what he saw in his own when he learned about Raine's death.
"I regret I didn't have the time to know him. He was my son, but..."
"He knew it," Rinoa said. "Believe me, he knew it..."
Laguna had a little smile.
"Ask me anythime if you ever need anything, okay? Anytime."
"Thanks, Laguna."
Ellone took Laguna's arm.
"Come on, uncle Laguna. We must go back to Esthar."
"Sure, Elle. Be brave, Rinoa."
Laguna and Ellone left too, the it started raining.
"I guess it's good-bye," Selphie said before hugging Rinoa. "We'll come visit you if you want."
"Whenever you want," Rinoa almost pleaded.
Caraway put an arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go home now, dear.."
Rinoa closed her eyes and nodded. Her father lead her to thei car and they drove back to Deling. Irvine helped Selphie walking while Zell was looking at the three tombs there. Raijin and Fujin were still standing in front of Seifer's tomb. Fujin kneeled there while Raijin was holding an umbrella over her head. She placed her hand on the ground as if she was trying to reach for her fallen friend. She remained silent until a tear melted with the rain on her face from her eye. She didn't try to hide it.
"Seifer," she whispered. "Why?"
"It'll never be the same without you, ya know..."
Fujin got up and sighed. Raijin wraped an arm around her shoulders to shield her from the rain.
"We'll miss you, Seifer," Fujin said with one last look behind her.
"It's been fun," Raijin completed before walking away with Fujin.
Zell traced them a while before standing right in front of Squall's monument. He put a knee down and stared at the inscription.
"Here lies a great leader," Zell read outloud. "Leaves in mourning his wife, his friends, and a child he never met."
Zell thought there wasn't enough sapce on the tombstone to tell what Squall was to all of them. A strange thought spread through Zell's mind that made him smile.
"He wasn't a bad guy at all. Cold-hearted at first yes, but not bad. He never had bad intentions. Not deep inside at least. Strange that the very person that changed you is the one that will cry your loss forever."
"Zell?" Selphie's voice called just behind him.
He turned around and waved to her.
"Hi, Selph."
"What're you doing?"
He looked back at the monument and recalled old days.
"Remember when we went to Galbadia Garden after we failed kidnapping President Deling to help Rinoa's group?"
The brunette nodded, not sure to understand.
"Remember when we were waiting in that room? We learned from Quistis Seifer was dead..."
"Oh, yeah. So?"
"Then we all talked about him and everything. Remember how Squall suddenly got mad and left saying he wouldn't have anyone talking about him in the past tense?"
Selphie couldn't help herself to smile at the memory. When she understood what Zell meant, she went along.
"He really was a good leader, everyone in Garden would say so but first of all, he was our friend."
"Yeah..."
The two SeeDs turned to Irvine. Zell wondered if he would ever get used to see this patch over his friend's eye.
"I wasn't there when you talked about Seifer, but I think I know what you mean. He was probably the guy who learned to change his heart the most in less time."
"I bet you're right," Selphie nervously giggled.
"What do you two say we go home now?" Irvine cut. "We'll catch a cold if we stay here too long. I don't think Squall would appreciate seeing us getting sick speaking of him in the past tense on his tomb."
He wrapped an arm around Selphie and took her away. The girl with the pigtail, Zell's girlfriend, approached him, silently asking him to come home. He got up and took her hand.
Just before leaving, he took one last glance of the monument and stared at the name carved on it for a while.
"Looks like you had it after all, Squall..."
Then he left with a little smile over the tears as he could still remember Squall's words from back then.
"I won't have it!!! I'm not having anyone talking about me in the past tense!!!"
Zell closed his eyes when he felt his heart ache. His girlfriend clenched his hand a little harder feeling his need for comfort.
"Squall, you've become just a memory..."
Rinoa didn't eat or sleep much the following days, growing more depressed by the day. She kept walking around silently all the time, never talking to anyone. The others came to deliver the gunblade. Squall lost it in the last battle but Zell saved it on an impulse. They wanted to cheer her up a little but they were not very cheerful themselves. It was still fresh. They evn found themselves feeling guilty. Seifer and Quistis also died there but they were only thinking of Squall.
The truthis that they were worried about Rinoa's state. All this crying wasn't good for her baby, but she wouldn't listen to their advices like they were not even there. They left saying they would visit her again.
It was because they were always thinking about Rinoa they ended up thinking about Squall.
Rinoa placed the gunblade in its case on a dresser in the room prepared for her baby. There was a little bed int he corner and a rocking chair just beside it.
Like a zombie, Rinoa caressed the name carved on the silver sheet. She stared at the griever head under it and opened the case. She felt like crying when she thought he would never use it again. She still couldn't understand why he decided to remodel the LionHeart into the Revolver. Anyway, it could still remind her of him. She closed the case and walked to the closet. She opened the door and took the only piece of clothing in it: a black leather jacket with a feather collar. The feathers were not white anymore and there were holes on the jacket but even washed, it still had his smell. She buried her face in it and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Recognizing his smell, her eyes filled with tears. She held the jacket tightly and let out a deep and painful sob.
"Rinoa, you must be strong," a voice said.
She jumoed and turned to the entrance. It was her father. She turned her back on him when he approached her.
"I've lost everything... Everything I've ever cared about doesn't mean anything to me anymore..."
"That's not true!"
He forced her around to look at him.
"You still have friends, you still have me!"
Though he thought Rinoa didn't have anymore tears to shed, he saw that he was wrong.
"He's gone! I don't know... I can't live without him..."
"Yes, you can!" The General said shaking her shoulders to snap her out of it.
Her eyes were swollen and her face was sick-pale. Since her wedding, Caraway had opportunities to settle things with her and she called him father once again. Seeing her giving up like that was really making him sad. He didn't want to lose her, she was all he had in life.
"He's not gone. He lives in your heart, in your memory, in your friends...in your baby..."
Rinoa widened her eyes and held her tummy as if she just remembered about her pregnancy.
"Getting depressed like that isn't sane for the baby. And I'm sure Squall wouldn't want you to cry him forever."
He looked away.
"I didn't like him much, that's true. A mercenary ready to kill if he's paid for it..."
He looked back at Rinoa and lifted a hand to keep her from saying anything.
"At least that's what I thought the first time I saw him. I thought you deserved better but... when he married you, he entered the family and became my son in some way. Life goes on, Rinoa and you must live on for your child. Squall left you another life, don't throw it away."
Rinoa scanned her father's eyes and saw he was serious. She hugged him tight and he hugged her back. She cried again in her father's arms.
"Oh, Daddy! I miss him so much..."
"You'll miss him forever, but he'll always be watching over you, the two of you."
"Yes, the two of us..."
When they broke apart, there was some kind of smile on her face.
"So? Are you ready to live once again?"
She nodded.
"Squall would be happy te see me go on, so will I."
Caraway nodded approvingly and walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around.
"Will you join me for dinner?"
She nodded with a forced smile and followed him out of the room after putting the jacket back in the closet.
Eating more this dinner than in the past few days put together, she felt herself a little more alive. She knew she would never feel the same again, but it was worth a try. She was only thinking about her baby now, concentrating on this to give her the will to get better.
Once dinner was over, she told her father with a smile that she was feeling better. Then her face changed when she felt some pain in her stomach. When Caraway asked her what was going on with a concerned face, she looked at him with shining eyes.
"It's time..."
Few hours later, a tired Rinoa was holding her newborn son in the rocking chair. Her father said she should get some rest after the big effort, but she insisted not to sleep until she could see the eyes of her son. He kept crying with his eyes shut before falling asleep. He didn't wake up since. He had little dark brown hair, almost black.
She was looking for a name for a moment but the only name coming to her mind was Squall. She shook her head, refusing to call her son after his dead father. It wouldn't be fair to give the name of a dead person just because she couldn't think better.
The baby moved in her arms and started crying for being fed. Rinoa did, already used to her mother role. Then she could see his eyes just before he shut them again. Hers shone, full of joyful tears until the baby was stuffed. He giggled, showing his eyes to his mother again, proving her she wasn't dreaming. He actually had Squall's eyes. She cried from happiness and carefully hugged her son.
"Squall," she muttered with her eyes closed. "Our son has your eyes... If you could only see him..."
She slowly got up tapping the baby's back a little before putting him back in the little bed. He fell asleep right away and she caressed his cheek, wondering if he would look more like Squall or like her once he's grown up.
"I'll see him if you want it that much," a far too familiar voice said.
Rinoa stopped breathing and froze. She thought she was crazy while she slowly turned to the door, feeling her heart beat faster and faster. It stopped beating when she caught sight of Squall in the middle of the room. She turned her head to the closed closet when she saw he was wearing his usual clothes: the leather pants and feather collar jacket. She knew she was hallucinating because he was buried in his uniform and the jacket was in the closet.
Squall looked down at his pasnt and held them.
"I never really liked the SeeD uniform," he said reading her mind. "Far too formal. I feel more like myself in those but I know they were not good anymore. I had to choose my own."
It was his voice, there was no way she could deny it. Like a zombie, she walked to him. He looked at her with his usual cold look, but with a smile.
Rinoa stopped a few inches from him, unable to believe in her luck. She lifted a trembling hand to his forehead showing a single scar, the one he always had since the first time she saw him. Her fingers touched the skin and her eyes shone. She followed the scar, feeling like fainting.
"It...it can't be..."
He reached for her hand and took it with both of his.
"You wished twice for me to see our son. I came back just for you with no sign of what happened. I'm the old Squall you always knew."
He smiled to her crying face. Seeing he was real, she couldn't help herself. She threw herself in his arms. He held her tight against him, caressing her hair.
"You missed me that much?" he asked when he heard her cry.
She looked up at him with tears all over her face.
"You're kidding?! If it wasn't for our son, I'm sure I wouldn't even be here now!"
Squall roughly took her by the shoulders and held her at arms length from him, looking angry.
"I forbid you! I came back because you wanted me to see our son, but you're the only one who can see me. Nobody else!"
She remained silent, looking at him. He softened his voice and his look.
"I... can I see him?"
She smiled with shining eyes and went to the craddle. She carefully took the baby and he didn't even wake up. She walked to Squall and showed him the little face. Squall smiled.
"He looks like you, Rinoa."
"Maybe, but he got your eyes..."
Their eyes locked and both kept silent. Rinoa broke her eyes from his and put the baby back in bed. She turned to Squall to ensure herself he was still there and he was. She smiled and walked to him to hug him again. He hugged her back.
"I don't want you to leave again! I want you to stay here with us forever."
Squall closed his eyes and sighed.
"That's impossible, Rinoa. You have to live without me from now on. You'll grow older while I won't because I'm..."
"I don't care!" Rinoa interrupted breaking away from him. "I want you to stay even if I'm the only one to see you and that you're... a ghost..."
She ran out of the room, leaving the wandering soul of Squall alone.
Rinoa drove all the way to the Garden and hoped the others would be there. Once she stepped in, she wondered if it was her imagination messing with her or if Garden had become dark and lifeless like that all of a sudden. She looked around before heading for the cafeteria. She was sure she would at least find Zell there. And there he was, sitting alone in the empty place, something really unusual because it was always full of people. He had his face in a hand and a hot dog in the other... remained untouched! Rinoa ran to him.
"Zell!"
He almost fell down his chair from the surprise.
"Ri...Rinoa? What are you doing here?!"
He put his hot dog on the table and got up brushing his clothes. She went to him and hugged him tight.
"Wha..." he started.
"Oh, Zell!" she said looking up to him. "Squall... Squall's back!"
He widened his eyes at the words, thinking she was crazy when he looked in her shining eyes. He knew she wasn't lying.
"What do you mean 'back'?"
She opened her mouth.
"Wait, I'll get the others," he cut her. "Stay here."
He quickly left the cafeteria for the Training center where he knew Selphie was helping Irvine shoot with a single eye.
"That's it, she's gone insane..."
On the way back to the cafeteria, Zell told his friends what Rinoa said and both were thinking the same thing: she was crazy...
They entered the cafeteria and saw Rinoa sat at a table with her hands together close to her face. She turned her head to her friends standing in front of her. She got up.
"Oh, guys! He's back, he came back to me!"
Zell looked at his friends in a you-see-what-I-meant face. Selphie turned to Rinoa and decided to take care of this.
"Tell us everything, Rinoa."
The guys nodded to her decision and they all sat down.
"I was giving up when my father reminded me I was about to give birth to what Squall left. It happened after dinner..."
"What? Then you should be resting now!" Irvine exclaimed.
Zell and Selphie looked at him, all three thinking the same thing.
"When I saw his eyes, his crystal blue eyes, I wished for a second time Squall could be there to see him... and he was. I couldn't believe it at first, thinking I was crazy but it was his voice, it was him! I could even hold him in my arms!"
She hugged herself, closing her eyes. Selphie got up from her place and went to put a hand on Rinoa's shoulder.
"It's pretty late, Rinoa. With all you've gone through you must be really tired. Why don't you go back to your son and take some rest?"
Rinoa couldn't believe it: her friend was talking to her like to a little kid! She wasn't believing her...
"But..."
She turned to Zell.
"He said he came back because I wished twice he could see our son!"
Zell smiled comfortingly at her.
"We'll go at your place in a few days when you're better."
She was shocked. Even Zell, Squall's best friend...
"How can you, Zell? You're his best friend, how can you doubt my words?"
Irvine got up and went to her side. She got up and grabbed his collar.
"Please, Irvine! Tell me you believe me!"
She was about to cry, feeling betrayed by her own friends. If Irvine could only say he believed her, she'd be happy with that. He smiled comfortingly at her and took her shoulders.
"You miss him so much and you're so tired you're sure yousaw him."
She widened her eyes and broke away from him. She gave him a mad face with sad eyes.
"You too... you're supposed to be my friends, suopport me in that hard period and you...you..."
"Rinoa," Zell started reaching out to her when he saw tears on her face.
She looked at the ground and ran out of the place with an arm covering her face and her cries. Zell stood there with his hand held out to nothing.
"Rinoa..."
The SeeD slowly lowered his arms each side of him and lowered his head. He shut his eyes and clenched his fists.
"It's hard...for all of us," he whispered.
He clenched his teeth, feeling guilt fill him.
"Squall...why'd you leave? It's my fault... if I wouldn't have been so careless, you wouldn't have needed to protect me and you... you would still be alive..."
"Zell!" Selphie exclaimed slapping the boy's face.
He held his cheek, looking at her a really childish way. Selphie bit her lip.
"I'm sorry, Zell. You were going..."
She didn't have the time to finish her sentence Zell ran out of the cafetria too. The brunette felt sorry for what she did and really wondered what was wrong with her friend. Irvine's arm around her shoulders surprised her. She looked up to him.
"Do you think I shouldn't have done that?"
Irvine slowly shook his head.
"He needed it."
"What was he talking about? He said he was responsible for Squall's death... Is it...true?"
Irvine shrugged indifferently.
"Like that guy I knew used to say: 'Whatever...'"
Rinoa quickly got back to Deling City, feeling more lonely than ever, betrayed by her own friends. Luckily it was late and she knew her way or she surely would have had an accident with her sight all blurred from the painful tears.
The car loudly braked near the car renting shop. Rinoa got out and took a bus to the mansion. Once she was in front of the door, she wondered if she didn't imagine Squall being there. Then she shook her head. No, it was him, his voice, his arms, his smell... he was there... was he? Desperately willing to know for sure if she was crazy, she urged in the mansion and up the stairs to the baby's room. The door was closed as it was supposed to be. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed and clenched her necklace.
"Please, be there when I open this door, please be there..." she prayed.
The door was opened and the room scanned. Ther was the craddle and right beside it, looking in it was Squall. Rinoa felt joyful tears rush to her eyes and run down her cheeks. She smiled and ran to Squall. He just had the time to turn away from the craddle she was in his arms.
"Thank goodness, you're still here," she cried in his chest. "I was afraid the others were right, that I was crazy and that I imagined you being there."
"The others said that? You told them?"
The young mother looked up to him.
"I couldn't keep it a secret, I had to tell someone."
"But Rinoa, I told you you were the only one able to se me. If they would have believed, they would have wanted a proof... And besides it's not the kinda thing everyone can believe. Yourself when you saw me eariler, you thought you were going insane. So imagine one of them coming to you telling their dead friend is back to life, could you believe it right away?"
She thought about it a few seconds.
"Well...hardly. Probably I would ask for proofs."
The dead leader smiled.
"See? And it must have hurt them. You go there in evening while you're supposed to be in a depressed state and you claim your dead husband is back. Maybe hear you talk about me like that hurt them."
Rinoa broke from his embrace and walked to the cradle to take a look at her son, thoughtful.
"Did he woke up?"
"No. Even if he can't see me, I think he can sense my presence."
It was silent for a while, then Rinoa thought of something.
"Zell..." she said low.
"Mm?"
Rinoa left the craddle for the window and looked at the night of Deling City, lifeless at this hour.
"There was something in Zell's eyes... Don't know what, but..."
The phone rang at that moment and Rinoa prayed someone would pick it up befor the baby would wake up. It didn't ring twice. Rinoa stared at the door for a while, waiting, when a servant appeared and bowed with her hands together on her apron.
"The phone call's for you, miss Leonhart."
She had a corner smile for her husband ghost before going out of the room to pick up the phone in the next one which was hers.
"Rinoa, here," she said.
"..."
"Hello?" Rinoa asked.
"Hope I didn't wake up the baby..."
It was Zell's voice, but there was something wrong with it.
"Zell? No, he's still asleep."
Silence again. Rinoa was feeling uneasy, knowing there was something wrong with her. She decided to wait for him to speak.
"There's something I think you should know. About Squall's death..."
Rinoa stopped breathing.
"Go ahead," she invited him.
"Not on phone, too hard. Is it too late?"
"No, you can come."
"I really don't want to bother you. I know you're tired..."
"Then let's say it's to make myself forgiven for what I did earlier. I guess Iwas tired after all. Come on, I'll introduce you to my son."
"..."
"Zell?"
"Sure, I'm coming."
Rinoa said goodbye and hanged up. She took her elbow in a hand and her chin in the other, thinking.
"It's not like him to sound so serious... What can he have to tell me about Squall's death I don't already know?"
She shrugged and turned around for the door. Squall was standing there, looking at her.
"It was Zell?"
"How do you know?"
Squall shook his head.
"I bet he takes himself responsible... the fool..."
"Responsible? For what? Your death?"
"Rinoa?" Caraway's voice called. "Who are you talking to?"
He came at the entrance, concerned. Rinoa couldn't hide the smile that came to her face seeing her father close to Squall but without seeing him.
"I was just asking questions outloud to myself," she lied. "Zell is coming for an important chat."
Caraway disaprovingly shook his head.
"It's not good for you, Rinoa. You need to rest. What will you do when the baby keeps you up all nights long? The servants will help you but only you can feed him."
She nodded, understanding.
"I won't do it again, father. Just for tonight. Zell sounded strange so I told him to come."
"Mm... alright then. But from now on, I want you to take care of yourself."
She saluted, mimicing Squall besides her father. She laughed a little. Caraway had a smile.
"Glad to see you're still in a good mood."
It just wasn't for the reasons he thought about.
He left the room with Squall making funny faces to the general's back. Rinoa put a hand over her mouth until she was sure her father was far enough not to hear her anymore. She laughed with all her heart, bringing a smile to Squall's lips. When she stopped and looked at him, he had a hand on his hip and his cold face again.
"I never saw you laughing like that," he said.
"And I never thought you were so funny. Since the first time we met, you never used to be funny on purpose."
Squall arched an eyebrow.
"On purpose?"
"There were sometimes you made me laugh, but it was because I thought you were a dummy."
"Really? Then why did you marry that 'dummy'?"
"Because I loved him and I didn't want to leave him."
There goes an uneasy silence. It was cut by the bell of the door, making both living girl and dead guy jump from surprise. Rinoa became worried.
"Already? It must be very urgent!"
She past by Squall and went down to the door where a servant was talking to Zell. He looked up at her, making her stop half-way in the stairs. She could guess a heavy burden in Zell's eyes. She walked down again and dismissed her servant.
"Want something to drink? Hungry?"
When Zell shook his head, Rinoa knew there was definately something wrong with her friend. Zell refusing a free meal? He was either sick or really concerned.
"Where can we talk in private?"
Rinoa was about to answer when cries came from above.
"Time to feed the little guy. Come along, I'll introduce you."
"You sure?"
"Of course, come on."
Zell followed Rinoa up the stairs to the baby's room. Rinoa saw Squall trying to calm the baby with his presence, but it was no use. Rinoa took the baby and sat down on the chair and began feeding him. He stopped crying right away. Zell was standing at the door, blushing a little. Rinoa looked at him and invited him on the chair against the wall.
"Just don't look if it makes you uneasy. Come on, tell me what you wanted to say."
Zell sat down and kept his hands between his knees with his head down.
"It was early that night. The others, Irvine, Selphie, Quistis, Seifer and Squall were all asleep and it was my guarding shift. I sat down in front of the fire, dozing. Squall sooner asked me if he could take my turn so that I could sleep. I haven't slept much the past nights so... well I refused, saying it was my turn and I wanted to take it like a true SeeD. I so badly didn't want to fall asleep I decided to take a walk. There was nothing unusual until I saw a figure approaching the camp from the other side. I shouted for the others to wake up. They took their weapons out and fought but they were all sleepy and the surprise attack made it harder for us. I saw Seifer and Quistis fight together until Quistis fell, dead. Seifer was desperate and didn't fight anymore..."
"You mean Seifer and Quistis..." Rinoa cut in rocking the baby for sleep.
Zell nodded with his eyes closed.
"He died shortly after Quistis, falling right over her. Selphie was in danger and about to get hit by an Ultima spell, but Irvine stood in the way. Since no one can escape an Ultima, she was still hurt and Irvine lost an eye."
He paused, finding hard to remember all this. Rinoa took the baby back in his craddle and took a peek at Squall, but he was facing her his back in the middle of the room. Rinoa sat back in the rocking chair and turned it to face Zell.
"Continue, please."
"Hum... oh, yeah. Squall was trying to help everyone and fight in the same time, but he couldn't save Quistis and Seifer or protect Irvine and Selphie."
"No, magic or potions?"
"None of us thought about magic and we didn't have any more potions, that's why we were coming closer to the cities. Squall eliminated the threat from Irvine and Selphie. Selphie was uncounscious and Irvine in big pain. Squall asked me if I could take care of the enemies by myself and I answered I could so he tried to help the others while I was hoping Seifer and Quistis were still alive..."
He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.
[Scene switches to that night]
Zell was fighting three oponents in the same time. Because of his tiredness, he was able to perform limit breaks, that's how he won. He was catching his breath and turned to his fallen friends, crouching down. Sundenly, gunfire came from behind him. A sniper, waiting for the right moment. Zell yelled from the pain when the deadly bullets hit him and he fell on his back. The sniper came out of the shadows and approached, aiming at the badly wounded SeeD. Squall got up when he heard the scream and saw his friend fall for the ground. Then he saw the guy with the gun walking to Zell with an evil grin. Squall saw images flashing in his mind. When Zell wanted to shake hands with him before the field exam, when he was punching the air from boredom, feeling guilty for letting the president know they were from Garden, and more scenes reminding Squall how funny Zell is and how he wanted to be a good leader like Squall.
"Damn... I got careless..." Zell whispered.
"Good-bye, SeeD!"
The guy pointed his gun at Zell.
"No!" Squall shouted.
Zell managed to get on his knees and see the guy turn his gun to Squall.
"Don't move or you're toasted!"
Squall made a step forward defyingly and the guy shot a few times. Squall was brought on his knees with a scream and dropped his gunblade.
"Squall, don't!" Zell plead. "It's alright..."
The leader had his palms on the ground. The gunman watched him a while before turning back to Zell.
"Interfere again and I'll kill you first. It won't be hard to defeat the two others then."
He aimed at Zell once again.
"Where were we?"
Squall moaned, taking his gunblade to help himself up. He walked to the guy with his weapon in two hands. The mean guy shook his head.
"Tsk, tsk, how stubborn..."
"I'm the leader of this team! If you must kill someone, kill me!"
"Squall, no!" Zell protested.
The guy smiled evily and switched targets once more.
"As you wish."
He shot again, making holes all over Squall's clothes. He yelled as the blood was flowing around him. He fell on his knees, but didn't drop his gunblade this time.
"Stay where you are, Squall, please..."
Squall coughed and blood came out of his mouth. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He moaned from the pain and shut his eyes, gritting his teeth and got up once again.
"Are you persistent?! I can't believe you want do die for this stupid guy!"
"He's right, Squall... I'm stupid, it's all my fault... I must die, it's my punishment."
"No one else...will die on me..."
He ran to the gunman with his gunblade. The guy pointed his gun at Squall and shot. The single bullet found its place in Squall's shoulder, making him drop his gunblade and drop on his knees again. The bad guy laughed evily and aimed at Squall's head. The leader looked up and when the gun shot, it found a gunblade on its way to rebound on. It didn't leave a scratch on the legendary weapon.
Squall was engulfed in a red light.
"Renzokuken!" he shouted.
He got on his feet and slashed the enemy few times before being back on the ground. He wasn't done yet.
"Take that: Rough Divide!"
He slashed him from bottom to top with a jump before coming back on his knees. The bad guy dropped his gun and fell, covered with blood. Sure that he was dead, Squall made his way to Zell, leaving his gunblade behind. Zell was on his back again, Squall's face over him.
"You alright?" Squall inquired.
"Still better than you, stupid..."
"Fools..." a voice said.
The SeeDs turned their heads in the same time and saw the dying guy take out a grenade.
"I'm taking...you both...with me..."
"Shit..." Squall said.
The guy died with the grenade armed on him. Squall knew too well they could never run because of their wounds and being so close would kill them both. Unless...
"Watch it!" Squall exclaimed covering Zell with his own body.
When the grenade exploded, zell yelled Squall's name, thinking he would never survive this. When the dust cleared up, Zill risked an eye around. Squall was on top of him, not moving and zell could sense some hot liquid rolling down his face. He knew it was blood and that it was not his.
"Squall! Come on!" Zell called shaking his friend, feeling fear fill his whole body.
Squall weakly moved and lifted his head, smiling to Zell. There were scars all over his face and blood in his hair.
"You're...alright...good..."
"Why, Squall? Why? You didn't want me to die on you, but you're dying on all of us? Why?"
"Now...that I...have friends...there's no way...I'm letting them...die..."
His eyes rolled and he fell uncounscious over Zell. Zell moved him on his back, calling his name over and over again.
"You won't! You won't!!! We're close to Deling City, we'll take you there and you'll be fine! You can't die, you hear me?! You can't!!!"
Irvine arrived with Selphie on his back, a piece of his coat around her bleeding leg and one around his head to cover his eye. Selphie woke up and they kept calling Squall's name again and again until Zell managed to find a boost of energy to take Squall to Deling with Irvine and Selphie, calling his name non-stop to wake him up.
[Scene fades back to Rinoa's house]
Rinoa opened her eyes, tears all over her face. She wondered how she could see it all so clearly just because Zell told her until she saw two hands each side of her head. She turned around and saw Squall there. She understood it was him who did that. She wiped the tears away from her face and looked at Zell. He had his face in his hands and was crying.
"Zell," Rinoa said walking to him. "It wasn't your fault."
She kneeled in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder. Zell shook his head.
"I was sentrying that night. If I wouldn't have been so careless, I wouldn't have been back attacked and he would still be..."
He didn't finish his sentence.
"It wasn't your fault, Zell," Squall said.
He asked Rinoa to repeat his words. She obeyed with little changes.
"I chose to protect you. Would I have tried to leave when the grenade exploded, we would both be dead."
Zell looked at Rinoa. (she changed the 'I' for 'he' and 'we' for 'you'. 'He chose...' 'You would both...')
"I don't regret what cost me my life just like Irvine doesn't regret what cost him his eye. You're my best friend despite the fact that I didn't like you at first. I'll never regret it."
Zell widened his eyes.
"It doesn't sound like you at all, Rinoa. It sounds more like...him..."
Rinoa cleared her throat.
"I learned to talk like him I suppose," she lied.
He had a hand in his hair.
"I wish I had the chance to see him one last time... If only I wouldn't have fallen uncounscious..."
Rinoa didn't know what to do to help him. He was so sure it was his fault.
"Wish it once again, Zell," Squall said too low for Rinoa to hear. "Wish it once again and you'll see me..."
"Zell, do you take yourself responsible for Seifer and Quistis too?" Rinoa inquired.
"A little but not like for Squall. They fought and couldn't make it. I couldn't fight anymore when Squall... I was totally helpless..."
Squall was now just by Zell's side when Rinoa looked at him. He tried to hold his shoulder but his hand got through. Rinoa felt sorry for the helpless Squall until she looked back at Zell. He was staring at her curiously.
"What are you looking at? Was it...true? You can see him?"
Rinoa bit her lip and nodded.
"How? Why can't I?"
He turned to where Rinoa was looking sooner and saw nothing.
"Why are you the only one, Rinoa?"
"Because I...he came back to see our son."
"How I wish I could see him too. Even for a single time..."
Rinoa and Squall both widened their eyes at the words. Zell wished it twice, then...
Squall put a hand on his friend's shoulder and could clench it. Zell didn't scream or startled, he just stiffened, looking in front of him with wide eyes. His mouth slowly opened before he slowly turned his head to his side. He slowly looked up until he met Squall's face.
"Twice..." he muttered. "She said she wished it twice..."
"And so did you," Squall said.
How Zell's face lightened up made Rinoa put both her hands over her mouth from emotion. He reached for the ungloved hand on his shoulder and couldn't believe it.
"Squall..."
The dead SeeD smiled with emotion. He didn't know somebody else would be able to see him even wishing twice. He clenched the shoulder comfortingly. Zell suddely got up and hugged his old friend to ensure himself he wasn't crazy like he thought Rinoa was sooner. Squall held him back, feeling like holding a child in need for comfort.
"Thank you, Squall. I'm so sorry... It's all my fault..."
"No, Zell. It's no one's. It simply happened and we couldn't do anything for it. Except for when things are done on purpose, there isn't anybody to blame."
Zell looked up and the feeling of guilt he had since Squall died disappeared, the burden on his heart flew away.
"Thanks..."
They broke apart, but kept looking at each other.
"Is there something else tou want to say? You don't need me now that your heart is free from guilt."
"..."
"Well?"
"I...there was so much I wanted to tell you when the others told me you were..."
Zell bit his lip and looked at the ground. Squall's hand was on his shoulder again.
"I want you to keep training and studying in Garden. Improve your ranking and do even better than I ever did. Don't try to be like me, everyone's unique. Be better than me. Promise me, okay?"
Zell nodded with a smile.
"I promise you I will."
"Good. Now, farewell, my friend."
His form faded but only to Zell which makes it very weird.
"Oh!" Squall's voice echoed. "Zell, thanks for talking about me in the past tense on my grave. Thanks for being my friend..."
His smiling face disappeared for Zell who held out his hand.
"Squall!"
Rinoa could still see him and she found weird that Zell couldn't anymore.
Zell fell on his knees with his palms on the floor. Rinoa rushed to his side.
"I'll always remember this smile. It was for me..."
"Yes," Rinoa said helping him up.
She hugged him and he cried again, but this time from joy.
"Can I... stay here tonight? I don't want to go home right now..."
"Sure."
Rinoa took Zell to the guest room and wished him good night before going back to the baby's room. Squall was sitting on the chair Zell was sitting on sooner, his face in his hands. Walking to his, Rinoa saw he was crying so she went by his side and put an arm around his shoulder and her hand on the other.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm...I'm confused... At first I didn't want the others to know I was back but... now I would like to tell them all something..."
He looked up at her and smiled through his tears.
"Never thought I'd be able to cry, huh? I never thought I would..."
He kept silent for a while.
"I lied..."
"Huh?"
"Well, not really... I said as long as something isn't done on purpose, there's no one to be blamed, but... I did this on purpose, it wasn't an accident, I wanted to save Zell. So if there's anyone responsible, it's me..."
"Squall..."
There was nothing else to say.
The next morning, Irvine called to ask if Zell was there, very concerned. Rinoa reassured him Zell was leaving this morning.
About to leave, Zell told Rinoa he would keep this a secret. He promised he'd try his best to do what Squall asked him to.
Days past slowly. Rinoa tried to sleep more when the baby was asleep and she still couldn't find a name. Squall was always in his room, watching over his son. Rinoa wanted Squall to stay forever. Verytime she was showing up in the room, he was smiling to her. But one morning, two weeks later, Rinoa found Squall staring out the window. She knew there was something wrong, but before she would ask, Squall called her.
"Rinoa, we need to talk."
She felt her heartbeat fastened and she clenched her rings. She was finally able to fit in her old usual clothes. Except for her breasts, bigger since the baby's birth.
"I...I can't stay forever. I know you would like it, but... You can't go anywhere with me, since you're the only one I'm visible for. I don't sleep, I don't eat... I don't want you to grow older while I'll alway look like a 20 years old..."
He sighed and turned around to her.
"Sorry, I just had to tell."
"I can't face it! I couldn't face your death and now that you're here for me, I can't bear you leaving again! I can't..."
The baby started crying so Rinoa went to take him and change his diaper. Then he asked to be fed so she did. Squall stared out the window again when a servant appeared at the entrance. She cleared her throat seeing Rinoa was busy.
"You have a visitor, miss Leonhart. Do you want me to tell him to come back later?"
"No, let him in."
The servant bowed and signaled to someone by her side to enter. Zell showed up with his usual smile.
"Yo, Rinoa! How's it going?"
"You look great, Zell!"
He smiled with all his teeth.
"Is Squall still here?"
"Yes, why?"
"Got big news for him..."
He took a peek outside to be sure nobody was listening.
"Squall, I followed your advice and guess what?"
Rinoa turned to the window and Squall turned around.
"Cid made me the new SeeD leader! I'm the Commander now!"
"Congratulations, Zell!" Squall exclaimed.
"He congratulates you, Zell. And me too! It's really great!"
"Well I just came to tell you this. Gotta go back to my duties now. See ya later, Rinoa! Thanks again, Squall! I'll keep improving!"
He waved at Rinoa then left.
"I knew he could do it, I knew it," Squall said. "This responsibility will probably make him more serious."
"I'm sure of it."
Squall turned back to the window and kept silent. Once the baby was done eating, Rinoa walked around the room gently tapping his back. Then she rocked him in the chair until he was back to sleep. She put him back in the craddle.
"What about Lag...my father?" Squall suddenly asked. "How is he?"
Over the craddle, Rinoa turned her head to Squall.
"He was sad he didn't have the chance to know you better."
Squall nodded. Rinoa went to leave the room. She took a last glance of Squall.
"Father..." he said under his breath.
Rinoa had a sorry smile and left.
"Maybe...maybe I should tell Laguna about this. The others didn't believe me, maybe he will!"
"Uncle Laguna?"
Laguna looked over his desk and smiled.
"What is it, Elle?"
"Rinoa Leonhart is here."
Laguna quickly got up and left his desk when he saw Rinoa entering. He asked Ellone to leave them alone then walked to Rinoa. They hugged each other a little.
"What can I do for you? What brings you here?"
He looked at her from top to bottom.
"You look great! And I can see you had your baby."
"Yes, I'm mother of a cute little boy."
"What's his name?"
"Haven't decided yet. But that's not why I'm here."
"I guess so. Come on in!"
He went back to sit down behind his desk and invited Rinoa to a seat in front of him.
"So?"
"It's about Squall."
Laguna's face totally changed at the name. Sadness and pain past over it but he refused to let it show to Rinoa.
"Well I guess you're dealing with it just fine," Laguna told.
"It's not really hard since he was with me for the past two weeks..."
Laguna frwoned, not sure to understand.
"What do you mean?"
"I...wished twice he could be there to see our son and...he came. He was there only for my eyes, for me only."
The Esthar president suddenly got up and banged his palms on the desk, making Rinoa jump.
"What did you say? He's back?"
Rinoa wasn't sure she understood what was on Laguna's face. He calmed down and faced her his back.
"It can't be..."
"What?"
He turned back to her.
"The same thing happened to me when I learned Raine died. I wished twice I could see her one last time to tell her I was sorry for not being there and...she appeared to me, saying she would always watch over me and Elle, that I had to take care of her. I wanted her to stay, but she said she was dead, it was over, that I had to let her go and live my life by myself with Elle."
Rinoa was astonished.
"She stayed with me for two days before I decided she could go. Squall's been with you for two weeks?!"
She nodded. Laguna walked around the desk to her and put his hands on her shoulders.
"I bet Squall wants the same thing: he wants you to live without him and with your son, that you let him go rest in peace."
Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged the older man whom was her husband's father.
"I can't face it, it's too hard!"
Laguna hugged her back, sounding like her father.
"It's for the best, Rinoa. You can't keep him alive forever. I'm sure he only wanted you to learn to live without him."
"I...I'm afraid I'll forget about him!"
"You won't. You'll always have your son to remind you of him."
She looked up at him and saw shining tears in his eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"Alright...I know that's what he wants because he told me already. I'm ready, now."
"Good."
They broke apart and Rinoa went to leave.
"I'll come back later..."
And she left.
When she entered the baby's room, Squall was over the craddle, watching the baby once more. Squall turned to her and smiled.
"I'm back from seeing Laguna... I told him and he said Raine..."
Squall nodded.
"I know. Raine appeared to him ago too. She told me."
Rinoa walked to Squall, feeling nervous. She hugged him tight.
"I'm ready, Squall. You can go now," she whispered.
"You sure?"
She nodded, her eyes closed. He moved her away and smiled.
"Thanks, Rinoa. I know it's hard for you but... I'll always watch over you, the two of you..."
He took off his necklace and placed it in Rinoa's hands.
"Give it to my father, ok?"
She looked at it.
"But is it...?"
"It's real, it's the only real thing I kept. Would you give it to him?"
She nodded.
"And what do I have from you?"
"My jacket...but more importantly, our son..."
"You're right..."
"Tell Irvine I'm sure he'll be fine even with a single eye. Tell Selphie not to lose her childish temper, she's like our little sister. Tell Zell I'm really proud of him."
"For Zell, alright, but the others won't believe me!"
"Just tell them..."
She nodded. He walked a bit backward.
"Our son will be a SeeD, Squall. A great one with a gunblade...your gunblade. I'll tell him what a great SeeD you were, I'll tell him everything."
Squall nodded approvingly.
"The world doesn't have any gunblade expert anymore and it really needs one. But don't speak too highly of me or he'll grow up in my shadow, trying to be like me just to please you."
"I promise."
She wondered if Squall would disappear the way he did for Zell, if he would still be there, but for nobody to see. Then another question came in her mind.
"I kept thinking but I can't figure out how to name him."
"Laguna?" Squall suggested with a smile.
Rinoa widened her eyes in surprise. She never thought Squall would want his son to have his father's name...
"It's my way to show I respect him and tell I'm proud of him, proud to be his son," he explained to answer her curious face.
He was about to leave and Rinoa could feel it in her whole soul. She threw herself in his arms once again before looking at him.
"Do you think we can...for one last time?"
He understood what she meant just by looking in her eyes. He bent over her and gently kissed her on the lips. A tear ran down her cheek as she recognized those lips.
"I love you and always will," Squall whispered.
"I love you too..."
"Good-bye, Rinoa...don't forget me..."
"Never..." she whispered.
They broke apart and Squall faded with one last smile.
"Squall..."
Rinoa closed her eyes and felt a heavy burden off her shoulders. She was feeling lighter, more alive. She looked at her hand and saw the necklace still there. When she heard a sound from the craddle, she walked to it and saw little Laguna was awake. She took him in her arms and rocked him.
"Daddy's gone now, but he's not far... He's still with us, it's just that we can't see him..."
The boy giggled a little. Rinoa looked at him and smiled.
"Let's go see some friends of your dad. I got a message for them."
She placed a baby bag on her chest and placed the baby in it before heading towards Garden. She saw the three of them all walking out of the Training Center. When they saw her, they waved at her and went her way.
"How cute!" Selphie exclaimed. "Say hello to auntie Selphie!"
Rinoa smiled and looked at Zell.
"It's over Zell, he's gone..."
Zell nodded, understanding.
"Who's gone?" Irvine inquiried.
Rinoa looked at him while Selphie to make the baby giggle.
"I know you didn't believe me, but... Irvine, Squall's sure you'll do fine even with a single eye..."
"What the?"
"Selphie, Dquall wants you to keep yopur childish temper, that you're like our little sister..."
"Huh?"
"And Zell, Squall is very proud of you and wants you to keep improving..."
Zell nodded while Selphie and Irvine looked at each other with wide opened eyes from surprise. Rinoa spun around.
"I promised him I would tell you so I did. I have to go now."
She left, leaving Irvine and Selphie completely lost.
"Then...it was true?" Irvine asked feeling guilty.
Zell nodded.
"We thought she was tired but he was really back..." Selphie said.
"Only Rinoa could see him," Zell said. "But he was back..."
Zell kept secret the fact that he saw him too for a while.
"I promise you, Squall..." Selphie whispered. "I'll honor your words..."
"I'll keep fighting," Irvine said. "Even with a single eye..."
"I'll do my best as the leader of SeeD..."
When Rinoa entered the president's office in the presidential palace of Esthar, it seemed Laguna was expecting her. He got up from behind his desk and walked to her, smiling when he saw she brought her son along.
"How did it go?"
"It's over, he left..."
She reached for the baby bag and got something she placed in Laguna's hands. He couldn't believe his eyes when he recognized the necklace.
"He wanted you to have it."
Laguna lifted it to his eyes and put it on. Then he looked at the baby.
"My grandson... Who would have thought: not so long ago, I never thought I could be a father and now I'm grandfather... Can I?"
"Sure!"
Rinoa carefully took the baby out the bag and placed him in Laguna's arms.
"He finally got a name. I couldn't find one so I asked Squall."
Laguna rocked the baby a little before at Rinoa.
"So?"
"He suggested 'Laguna'"
"Really?"
She told him why he chose this name and Laguna couldn't believe it.
"I'm proud of you too..." he said too low for Rinoa to hear.
"Uncle Laguna?" Ellone called as she entered. "Why are you crying?"
He wiped away the tears on his face and smiled.
"Oh, it's nothing..."
He closed his eyes and paid his last respects to Squall.
Not far from them, two figures invisible to their eyes were smiling.
"Let's go back, now Squall," one said.
"Yes, mother," the other one answered.
The figures walked away and faded.
The next day, the inscription on Squall's grave was changed: 'Here lies Squall Leonhart-Loire. Leaves lots of people in sorrow, but not alone.'
End.
Carole M.
Done august 4, 2000 at 11:23 a.m.
Typed may 28, 2002 at 1:25 p.m.
Note: I know it took me long to bring this story from paper to comp, but I don't have one, so I'm typing when I can... Since My boyfriend got a comp now, I'll be making them fast! (I got 5 more to type!)
I finished this one listening to FF8 soundtrack. Quite inspiring if you ask me... So was it good? I apologize to all Squall's fans for making him die... I don't understand myself for doing it considering I like him so much... I think it didn't trun out bad, what you think?
I want to say something to Kate Lorraine (or anyone who read The Orphan. I read The Orphan WHILE I was making this one, but I started it before so I swear I didn't copy anything, it's just a coincidence. For those wondering what I mean, read it, you'll understand. See ya!