story: Déjà Vu
by: lauren (aka xo bella italiana ox)
rating: pg-13
summary: "She was replaying her wedding in her mind, over and over, but the faces had changed."
disclaimer: i own nothing
pov: third-person, edna
form: one-shot
inspiration: ditey, because she's cool. I just had this idea of how edna could relate with amy and decided to go with it.
notes: I have no idea what edna's husband's name was. bear with me, I used "john". it seemed to fit.
reviews: much appreciated, praise or flame, constructive criticism welcome.
***
Déjà Vu
The Hart's living room was so packed that you could barely find your own hands. People were singing and laughing and dancing. Many were already heavily intoxicated; apparent by the giddy laughter and slurred chorus of "Livin' On A Prayer". And by the fact that Paige was being passed around the room in her bra and underwear.
A heavy sigh escaped the lips of an older women pressed against the wall. She remembered the days when she used to go to wild parties in Everwood, just like this one. Wilder, even. Only in those days, punishment was a lot worse, she recalled reminiscently. Taking a deep drag of her cigarette, trying to ignore the beats drumming into her skull, she wondered why on earth she had so readily volunteered to chaperone this party.
Ah, yes, Amy, she remembered suddenly. Amy. Where was she, anyway? Amy had come to her, begging in that way that always made her cave, saying that it a celebration of Colin's quick recovery after the second surgery, and hinting that the activities planned were not appropriate in the presence of the majority of people over the age of 25. "Besides, Grandma, you're the coolest adult I know."
Her eyes quickly scanned the crowd. They finally fell upon Amy, on the couch with Colin. One of her hands was apprehensively resting upon his thigh, the other bringing an almost-full glass of champagne to her lips. Colin, of course, had no drink, as he didn't want to jeopardize his health. They seemed to be discussing something private; their upper bodies were close and they both had their backs faced towards everyone else, as if to block them out. Colin looked relaxed and comfortable, Amy nervous and unsure. She couldn't really tell from the distance, but the look on Amy's face seemed to be very uneasy. She watched her take another small sip from the glass, undoubtedly for the purpose of loosening up.
It occurred to Edna what they had been discussing, and perhaps, the reason Amy had been so insistent on minimal parental supervision, when she saw Amy mouth the words 'I'm ready now' to Colin. She wasn't really surprised as she saw the two get to their feet, most likely getting ready to go upstairs. Amy, Amy, Amy. Not with him, sweetie.
She had thought she was in love once, too. Of course, she hadn't really listened to her heart, and wound up married with children. It's not as though, the years hadn't been wonderful, because they had, but if they had only been…
Not now, Edna, she scolded herself. She had promised to herself she would never try to bring them together. They were two different love affairs, each very different.
But she couldn't help but wonder what could've been, if only she'd been more in tune to her heart when she was young.
John was a wonderful man, he really was. She was attracted to him, there was no doubt. Maybe she did even love him. But she grew up next door to him. Their life was written out for them by half the couples in Everwood, the same wonderful but boring kind of story you hear at every Everwood wedding. She had fun with him, she liked him…they had all the right stuff to make a huge fire, but they were missing the spark. Even after they finally did it, she couldn't help but wonder what all the hype was about. But for the longest time, she thought that this was love. She had never experience anything else.
Come on, you're being ridiculous. She tried to let the music drown out her thoughts. She didn't want to think this way. It was as though John could hear her thoughts, and he was shaking his head, realizing that his life had been almost a lie. But then she didn't have to try anymore—she was distracted by the sight of boy that was thin and pale but nevertheless handsome stumbling in from the kitchen. She suspected he was a little drunk, her suspicions only to be confirmed when he walked smack into Amy and Colin, who were headed towards the stairs. He fumbled for a moment, and then walked right by. But when he had passed through a few more people, he snuck a quick at Amy. Amy chose the same moment to sneak a quick look back at Ephram, and a quick look quickly became a deep and meaningful gaze that spoke louder than Edna did, even when she was really, really angry—it was most certain that Amy did not want to be going upstairs in the first place. But now Edna knew why.
She'd always suspected Amy and Ephram were more than friends. Whether they had acted upon that was unbeknownst to her. But now she knew for sure that Colin was not the one for Amy, because somebody else was.
That look of longing on both their faces, it's something you can't fake. Edna had not even known it existed until late on in her life, not until she found him. Irv.
Irv was like Ephram, in a way. They were both different from the average Everwood male. Unconventionally good-looking. Took risks, wore their hearts on their sleeves. Not the kind of guy your mom, at first glance, wanted you to marry.
But they drew you in anyway. They were exciting…the first time she was ever intimate with Irv…well, it made her think all the hype was underrated.
Edna was now unaware to her surroundings. She was replaying her wedding in her mind, over and over, but the faces had changed. Into…a young couple, one half a former victim of a coma, and the other half gazing longingly over the groom's shoulder at the best man—a young man who was pale and thin. "Do you, Colin Michael Hart…and do you, Amy Abbott…?"
She knew she could not tell Amy who to be with or who to choose. She could not tell Amy that she could not lose her virginity to Colin. She knew she should probably go up there and prevent anything from happening, though, at the moment at least. She knew, if she really wanted to, she could stop them, not infinitely, but at least for now. And she did want to. Amy, don't repeat my mistake. She didn't want that to happen at all.
But somehow she knew that Amy would not really listen. She would never really know how strongly she felt about Ephram, either. Because like the young Edna, Amy liked things easy and simple and sometimes blocked out what she was afraid of. Real love was scary, especially if it's your first time experiencing it.
She decided not to worry too much. After all, real love had finally come along for her. And just one of these days, her granddaughter was going to see her reflection in Ephram's eyes, and then Amy would not be able to lie to herself anymore, because she would have proof. She would see the way she looked at him and know that she definitely did not look at Colin that way.
Suddenly Robbie Dolbert staggered by, completely smashed. On impulse, Edna called out, "Robbie!"
He spun around several moments later. "Ey, En-na," he slurred, stumbling a bit forward but catching his hand on Edna's shoulder.
One could have sworn Edna's eyes twinkled as she gently pushed his arm away. "There's some more beer upstairs in Colin's room. Go get it and pass it around."
"Coo-ool."
As Robbie made his way towards the stairs, Edna watched Ephram sigh and lean against a wall across the room. She hoped he was planning to talk to Amy soon.