Disclaimer : I own nothing. All is JKR's (& WB's), if it was mine the end wouldn't be the same, AT ALL.
Note : I'm French and no one checked on it so… sorry for the mistakes. I wrote it in French, posted it and traslated it in English and now posting it so… feel free to review ^^
Review ? pretty please ?
Remorses
I have so much to say… I don't know where to start.
It's already been two years and yet it feels like it was only yesterday.
It's as painful as the first day. Truth be told nothing changed since that night. Only the lack of you is more overwhelming. The lack of you and my remorses…
I lost you two years ago, we lost you… and today I'm left with nothing. Nothing but my remorses, my pain and the lack.
Lack of your smiles, your tricks, your laughs… lack of what your were. What you brought with you… the lack of you, really.
The pain of the void you left behind, the pain of losing a brother. I often wished Death took me, instead of you…
It would have been better, I think.
Because you're not the only one who died that night. A part of Goerge died with you. The one part that made him a Weasley twin.
Do you know that for a long time he hurt himself ? He thought that nobody saw it. Or he didn't care if we did. I'm not sure…
They had doubts but I… I knew. I knew the wounds made with sharp knives on his arms. I knew the nights stained with blood. Blood and tears. I knew the physical pain he was so eager to go through, just to forget the one within, the one that doesn't heal.
I knew… and I said nothing.
Because I also knew he needed it. I can only imagine what it's like for him.
I lost a brother. He lost a twin, his best friend. He lost half of himself. Half of his soul. You can see it.
Nowadays he doesn't laugh, not even smile. Not like before, when it made sense, when his eyes shined just like yours and his laughs were genuine, real.
Nowadays he lies, he pretends. He acts like everything is fine, like he is fine. But he's not. He misses you just as much as the first day.
He's no longer the brother I knew and loved, the one I grew up with and hated at times, when he was making fun of me. That brother died with you. And we lost two brothers, two sons, when only one perished.
That's why I wanted it to be me. Even if it's not my only regret…
I remember so much about you. But not what I'd like to remember.
I remember when you laughed at me, with Goerge of course, remember all the tricks you put on me, all your silly jokes… and all the times I yelled at you, all the horrible things I used to tell you after that. All the "I hate you", "I'd be better without you as a brother", "I'd rather not know you", "I'm gonna kill you one day"…
If only you could know how much I regret this. Telling you all that when I really didn't think a word of it. And never telling you what I really felt.
If only you could know how much I regret not understanding it faster… before it was too late and I hadn't the time anymore…
Because I would have never thought, at the time, that I was going to miss all your stupid jokes, the way you picked on me every single day… had I known… I would miss it so, so much.
I miss you. And I miss George…
But what hurts the most and that I regret the most is that I never, ever took the time to tell you what really mattered, even when everything went crazy and the danger was ever so present…
I'd never told you this then, so I'm telling you now, even if it's too late,
I love you, Fred, I'm so proud to be able to say you have been a part of my life, a sibling.
Sorry, Brother, that it took me so long…
Ron