We drove through the wasted remains of the city that was our home. Used to be. Now, it was nothing more than a huge pile of rubble. My eyes had been trained to find beauty in every situation to capture it in a photograph. But seeing all these destroyed houses pass by, there was no beauty anywhere to be found. I had to close my eyes. All this destruction, all the death. And all of this was my fault.

I wanted to scream, I had to let go of all this pain. I knew that I had taken the pictures. Not with my camera. These images were fixed in my mind. Whenever I tried to fall asleep, I would hear the screams of the people trying to find shelter, while the storm hit the coast. The storm that I caused. Their blood was on my hands.

I want to scream! I am at the brink of madness!

But I didn't. I couldn't. Not only would I startle Chloe in the driver's seat, It wouldn't change a thing.

We were on the main road. Only a few more minutes and we would leave the town. I had to decide. Would I turn back time once more and let Chloe die?

Half a mile left. Okay, what would happen? Chloe would die, Victoria would be captured and drugged by Mr. Jefferson, but besides that, nothing much would happen to her. Besides Chloe's death, only small tragedies would happen, but nothing that I couldn't cope with.

400 yards. Come on, Max. Decide! Can you handle Chloe's death rather than everybody else's death?

200 yards. Slow down Chloe! Once I pass the city limits, I am sure I can not rewind far enough!

100 yards. It's decided then. I will go down in history as the destroyer of Arcadia Bay.

The road sign passes bye. As if someone drew a straight line, the destruction stopped right there. A flock of deers greeted us. Was this a heavenly sign? Did I do the right thing?

"We're out", Chloe said with a sigh of relief. "Now … where do we wanna go?"

I didn't respond. Not verbally, that is. With every yard we drove away from Arcadia, the shock settle and gave way to another feeling. Despair, depression, anxiety.

Chloe noticed that something was wrong with me and pulled over.

The moment we stopped and Chloe put her hand on my back, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt as miserable as you could only feel when you were in my situation. When you caused something terrible, like an accident, but ten thousand times worse.

I could feel that Chloe was overwhelmed, seeing me so "not me".

"We … we need to go back", I uttered in between the sobs. "May I … I mean … I can … fix that….perhaps… I … am sure I …"

"Shhhh." Chloe wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to her.

"We are alive, Max. You and me, we are alive. Isn't that awesome?"

"I. KILLED. EVERYONE. IN. THIS. TOWN!", I screamed at her. Even though she tried hard to hide it, I could see that she was close to crying, too.

"It was MY DECISION! IT WAS A SELFISH DECISION! I sacrificed each and everyone in this godless town! And for what? For someone I abandoned for years! Tell me, Chloe, is this fair?"

"I'm sorry, Max. I … Geez … I have no idea what you feel right now."

"No, of course not! How could you? You only care about yourself! Well then, skedaddle! Go on the lam like you always do! That's what you can do best, Chloe Price. I am good at destroying cities, and you are good at getting yourself in danger and then let someone else help you at any cost."

All the time, she kept a firm hug, there was no trace of anger in her face. And that made me feel even more guilty.

I wiped away my tears. "I'm sorry, Chloe … I …didn't mean to say these words."

"No, you are right Max", she said faintly. She was on the brink of breaking down. "You are right. If it weren't for me, Arcadia Bay would …."

She started crying. "If you want to blame someone, blame me! Yes, it was not fair. You should have let me die in that goddamn toilet! Now, that would have been fair! Who would my a punkass bitch like me?"

"I would!", I shouted. "I know I never phoned you, I never wrote you, I never made a beep to tell you I'm fine. But I missed you. Every single fucking day in Seattle, I missed you, all right? When I came back to Arcadia Bay, I thought about finding you, but then I didn't. Because I was scared to you would smack me for not communicating with you all the time."

"I would never do that, Max. You know what I went through. I wanted someone to stay by my side. But you left, Rachel left … and I was alone again."

"But I killed people, Chloe. Nothing can justify that! When I close my eyes, I see more faces than you can imagine, and I hear more screams than you could ever bear."

"I'm there for you, Max Caulfield. Just like you were there for me. We're in this together, don't you ever forget that! You lost your friends, but I, I lost my family. My Mom, my stepdad … but I don't blame you for this, okay? I am selfish, you are absolutely right, and If I were in your position, I would have also chosen me over everyone else in Arcadia Bay. Max, there is one thing I never told you in this crazy week, because we were busy."

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she loosened her hug.

"I know I died."

"Of course you do, stupid, I told you."

"No, Max, I know it. I felt it. Even though I didn't die because you changed the course of time, I could still feel the cold grip of death, as if someone reached deep into me and pulled me from my body. I can still feel it. And I know everything. Like a faded photograph, I still remember what happened when I died. This should be impossible, I know, but it's the truth. I fell the bullet entering my brain on the scrapyard. You couldn't help me, I know that! And I'm scared. I'm downright terrified of this feeling, okay?"

She gulped. "That's why I would choose life over death, you know? And if there is one thing that I learned from the last five days, then that I am on the road to hell. If I continue that path, I will die, and you will not always be around to save me. Please, Max. Help me. One last time, okay? Help me becoming a better person. I ... I wanna go back to school, do something with my life, okay?"

"I'm sorry, Chloe, but can I ask you for something in return?"

"Anything, Max."

"I will help you becoming a better person, if you show me how to not be so shy and a little more adventurous."

"Woah….hold on there… who are you and what did you do to Super Max?"

"I mean it. I also learned something. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon was right. It's important to go to school and stuff, I know that. But I miss a big part of what living really means. And I enjoyed the few days I spent with you more than any of the time in Seattle. I love you Chloe, and if loving a girl and thus finding out I'm full-on lesbian isn't enough, then I want to dive deeper into your world."

"If you will protect me", she said. "From myself, that is."

"I promise", I said, and I sealed that oath with a long, passionate kiss.