"Now are you sure you're fit to be out," says Lucius for the ninth time since leaving the manor.
"I'm fine Lucius you have to stop fussing, I've been cleared by the midwife and she says some fresh air will be good for me," says his frustrated wife with a sigh. The autumn breeze was doing Narcissa good, she felt better just waking up and putting clothes on for once. After two months of bed rest she wanted nothing more than to get up and about, and with a very attentive husband it's was hard but she knew he was suffering too. The miscarriage took a toll on both of them-Narcissa physically but Lucius mentally.- They needed things to go back to normal, for both they're sake.
"All I'm saying is, you're not just coming out of your first miscarriage cissa this isn't the first time and it's going to make you weaker..."
"I know it's not the first time !" Yells Narcissa but the look on her face shows that she regretted saying it
"And do you think I don't," said Lucius in disbelief
"I wasn't saying that I just..."
"Cissa," Lucius says while he stops to stand in front of her "I just... I just feel hopeless, I know that this is not the first time, and I know you're fine, but after everything I've seen you go through since before we got married and after I can't help it, it's like a, like a..."
"Like a what Lucius" Lucius looked at her trying to find the right way to put it, trying to put it in a way she would know exactly what he meant "cissa the day I fell in love with you, the day you showed me your scars, was the day I swore to never let that man or anything hurt you again. But this, I can't help this, I can't help the pain you feel, the loss you feel, all I can do is beg to Merlin that it won't happen again and knowing that I can't do anything but fucking pray is driving me crazy" Lucius said with tears in his eyes. It was uncommon for Lucius to cry, and Narcissa knew that. Narcissa slowly raised a hand to her husband's face and brushed away the few tears that had slipped from his eyes.
"What happened to the babies isn't your fault" Cissa begins cautiously "it's that's awful man's fault that man that should have been there for me when you weren't, the man who I should put all my trust in, all my faith. And what did he do, he violated me, he tortured me, he made my life hell, and the only thing that made my life worth living was knowing that you'd save me one day." Narcissa says her voice cracking the more she spoke "You can't punish yourself a for what has happened, yes we've dealt with it in different ways, but moving on and trying to get over it quickly is the only thing keeping me from storming over to that hellhole of a childhood home and killing that bastard" she says finally letting the tears fall like a river bursting its banks.
"I don't know what I would do if you weren't here, what I would do if you never saved me." She said with a powerless tinge to her voice. "You need to know that everything you do helps me, holding me when we deep, that little smile you have when you first wake up, the way your, not a selfish pure blooded prat who is they ever lost a child would deem it a squib a defect of some sort, you help me by just being here so don't you ever say that you feel hopeless please I begging you" sounding more insecure that Lucius had ever heard her."