"Jesus Christ," Stan said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is a terrible fucking idea."
"Fuck you." Kenny the first retorted, glaring at Stan. He was called Kenny the first because there were two Kennys, currently sitting in the middle of Stan's living room, one currently glaring at Stan, the other rubbing his temple, frowning. Kyle was there too. Kyle was always fucking there. It was kind of weird.
There had been an unfortunate kinstealing incident the week prior, and now two Kennys existed. It was fucking awful. Stan wanted the sweet embrace of death more than ever with this new arrangement.
"Whatever." Kyle sighed. "Lets just do this shit."
"This is not how I wanted to spend my New Years." Stan groaned. Kyle socked him in the arm.
"Ow!" Stan yelped. "Dude, fuck you. You can't possibly think this is a good idea?" Stan thought Kyle was meant to be a voice of reason within this shitty group.
"I don't." Kyle exhaled, glaring at Stan. "But what the fuck else do we have to do?"
"Like, anything else."
"Fuck you," Kenny the second said to Stan, still rubbing his head. He probably had a headache. Probably from a hangover. Stan didn't really give a shit.
"We have to summon him. I love him. I can't live without him knowing that." Kenny the first told them, his voice packed full of such raw emotion it could have probably like, uncooked an egg or some shit.
"Kenny, you're gay?" Kyle asked, a look of bewildered annoyance on his face. Kenny the first burst into tears.
"How did you know?" Stan asked Kyle, bewildered.
"I have a gaydar." Kyle said, matter of factly. "Plus I have no straight friends."
"Like me?" Stan asked him.
"Stan, we're dating."
"Yeah." Stan replied absent-mindedly, staring at the floor.
"Anyways," Kenny the second said. "Let's just get on with it." Kenny the first was still crying. He cried in this awkward way, constantly sniffling so you knew he was still there, and that he was crying, but not full on sobbing or anything that made you think 'yes, I must console this poor, gay soul,' so really it was more like awkward background noise. It pissed Kyle off, and he was sitting gritting his teeth, his nails digging into Stan's carpet.
"What do we do?" Kyle asked, his voice strained, mostly because he was trying to talk and grit his teeth at the same time.
"I know." Kenny the first replied, tears still pouring from his eyes. They were a sickly green colour, and Stan thought they were fucking ugly. He placed an Ouija board on the floor, all four of them sitting round it.
"What-where did you get that?" Kyle asked, bewildered at the magically appearing Ouija board. Kenny the first shooshed him.
"We call upon Komaeda Nagito," Kenny the first chanted. "Are you here, Komaeda?" The planchette almost immediately moved over the 'Yes' on the Oujia board.
"Holy shit," Kenny the first breathed, his eyes brimming with a new set of tears. Kyle looked like he was going to shit himself.
"Do...you have a message for anyone in the group?" Kenny the first asked, his voice shaking. Kenny the second had passed out on the floor. Stan still didn't really give a shit. The planchette stayed on the 'yes.'
"Who?" Kenny the first asked, becoming more eager with every second. The spirit slowly spelt out 'K-E-N-N-Y.'
"Holy shit! Me?! Or the passed out one?"
'Y-O-U.'
"What is it, my love?" Kenny asked, his bottom lip shaking. Stan and Kyle wanted to fucking die.
'Y-O-U-V-E G-O-T S-P-I-K-E-S, M-A-N. Y-O-U-V-E G-O-T S-P-I-K-E-S.' Komaeda slowly spelled out, before moving the planchette over 'goodbye.' Kenny the first shot himself.