Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

Rating: T

Summary: Sanji can't find Usopp and it's beginning to irritate him. And what does a rabbit have to do with all this?

Warnings: Some language, established Sanuso and some implied sexual contact

I'm not quite sure what this is, but I hope someone enjoys it at least?

"That'll be 20 beri please."

Sanji handed over the money, taking the bag of carrots given in return, saying as he turned, "Oi, Usopp, you-"

And then he abruptly went silent when he noted that the space behind him was completely empty. The cook huffed in annoyance. If that shitty marksman was back at that greasy little stand of knick-knacks again he swore he would kick him back to Sunny. Why had he even offered to come along if he was going to disappear every time Sanji turned around?

Fuming, he stalked through the market place, eyes scanning the area for that telltale pair of brown overalls or the gleam of sunlight bouncing off the shades of sniper goggles and wondering what was up with his boyfriend today. His Uso-chan was normally so attentive and helpful when they went shopping together. But today he decided to adopt Luffy-syndrome or something, practically bouncing from one table to the next, and asking about a million and one questions to each and every shop owner like they were suddenly his new best friend.

He knew Usopp was an amicable kind of guy and all, but really – they hardly got to spend time like this together. Where they went out, just the two of them, without fear of the rest of the crew interrupting or barging in or creating a ruckus and they could replace the roar of the waves with the roar of a unobservant crowd as they strolled through another new town and maybe even sometimes held hands so that it almost, almost, almost felt like a date and-

And there he was!

And there were all the supplies he had spent all day buying, tossed carelessly on the ground around the distracted sniper who was crouched over a crate.

"Usopp!" Sanji cried furiously as he stormed over, catching his attention.

But Usopp's response was unexpected as he twisted his head around and grinned widely, completely unaffected by his partner's burning glare, "Sanji, hurry! Come look at this!"

"I don't want to look at- What the hell?" He started to say before he caught sight of what the younger was cradling against his chest. "Is that a… bunny?"

"Yeah!" Usopp said as the cook crouched down, getting a better look. Barely larger than an apple, the little ball of white and tan fluff fit easily in the sniper's hands, both of its ears flopped against its head. A quick glance at the box revealed several more small rabbits nestled together in some hay, all a different array of colors but most of them the same size. "They're called dwarf rabbits and apparently they're a really popular pet around here. They're really tame. See, look."

"Oi, wait a second – Usopp!" Sanji tried to protest but before he could even stop him, the marksman was shoving the rabbit into his hands. He looked down at it uncertainly, his fingers almost long enough to curl completely around the small creature. He was sure it would try to hop out of his grasp and bolt but all the bunny did was shift its feet, tiny nose and whiskers twitching as it snuggled his palm.

Usopp was grinning as he watched, already reaching in the box to hold another – this one was a mottled black and grey with ears that stood tall. It squirmed a bit but settled quickly when brought close. "Pretty amazing huh?" He said, before adding boastfully, "Though such a feat is nothing new to the Great Captain Usopp! I used to tame animals all the time; let me tell you about the time I tamed a Great White Shark when I was five. I-"

"Usopp." Sanji interrupted before the yarn could spin and tangle out of control, "Is there a point to this?"

"With my – what? Of course there is! Because later that shark helped me-"

"No, I mean with the bunnies." He said, eyeing him critically as he remembered the multiple (and honest-for-once) stories the sniper had told him about the many animals he would chase after and bring home, only for his mother to turn them right back out the door. He was pretty sure he recalled one of them being about springtime rabbits that Usopp tried to capture using carrot pieces and a cardboard box. "You know we can't keep any right?"

Usopp hummed as he pet the bunny, saying jokingly, "Why couldn't we? We keep around Zoro don't we?"

Sanji chortled some at that, but shook his head. "Rabbits need to be kept cool and have hay and grass and they need to be able to chew down there teeth. He'd have a short life on the sea. Probably from Franky killing it when he catches it biting into his precious ship."

"Yeah… I guess so." Usopp couldn't quite keep the disappointment out of his voice.

The cook frowned, "I know you've always wanted a pet Usopp. Maybe we could get a fish in the aquarium that I swear I won't cook?"

He wasn't sure what he had said, but suddenly the other perked up, looking over at him intently as he asked, "What about you?"

"Me?"

"Is there… something you've always wanted? Like what was the thing you wanted most when you were a kid?" Usopp asked eagerly.

Food. Sanji thought instantly before shaking off those terrible memories. "The only thing I ever wanted was to cook."

"Oh come on! There has to be something else." Usopp pried, leaning towards him, holding up his rabbit. "Was it something really cute like this? Is that why you won't tell me?"

"Oi, oi, what's with the twenty questions?" The chef retorted somewhat testily as he placed his own back in the box before reaching for a cigarette instead that he quickly lit. "There really wasn't anything much I wanted really and even if there had ben I doubt I would want it now that I'm older. Take the bunny for example; maybe there was a time I wanted to keep one but now the only kind of bunny I would be interested in is – well…." He grinned lecherously as naughty images started to play in his head.

Usopp eyed him in confusion for several moments until he noticed the hearts appearing from the smoke in his cigarette. His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed, "Oi, you pervert!" He set his own rabbit back after one last cuddle, demanding, "Okay how about now? What do you want now?"

Sanji blew out stream of smoke, the glint in his eye dangerous as he looked at the other. "You want to know what I want?"

"Um… yeah?" He said, a little unsure now.

"I want you to pick up all these bags you dropped before I kick your shitty ass across the Grand Line!"

The other squeaked, snatching up nearly a dozen plastic handles all at once as he jumped to his feet, keeping his distance in case Sanji wanted to make good on that threat. And though he didn't stray off again while they finished the shopping, the cook had to wonder why the other continued to stare off distractedly at every store they passed.

A few weeks later…

Usopp took a few steadying breathes as his stomach did another little flip, feeling absolutely silly as he sat in his workshop, waiting for Sanji to arrive while twitching and jumping at every little sound he heard. Which, being on a wooden ship in the middle of an ocean, there were plenty of constant cracks and creaks to be heard. They were usually ignorable but today it was like everything was set in an echo chamber; every noise amplified and jarringly loud to his ears.

He gripped the edge of the bench in a tight, white-knuckled grasp to fight the urge to just get up and run away. What would he tell Sanji later if he did? This was all he had to gift him with for his birthday; if he chickened out now, his partner would be so disappointed and hurt. He couldn't do that to him.

But what if he didn't like it? What if, even after all his persistent searching and subtle questions, it wasn't really something Sanji wanted? What if-

Usopp sucked in a sharp breath when he heard the doorknob jangle, jumping to his feet so fast he almost ended up twisting his ankle in his unusual footwear.

"Usopp, are you-oooowha?!" Sanji began to say as he walked into the room only for speech to fail him as he spluttered in surprise.

And the cause of it was because his darker-skinned boyfriend was standing there in the middle of the room in nothing but a tight black leotard, slightly high-heeled shoes and a silk tie that was actually one of the cook's own. But what topped the whole outfit off was what was placed on his head with use of a nearly invisible headband: two black-furred bunny ears, one ear standing straight up while the other was cutely bent down.

The sniper swallowed down his heart, trying not to stammer out the line he had prepared as he shot the blonde a look he prayed was even remotely sexy. "H-Hey baby, I heard it was your birthday so I decided to hop on over to help you celebrate."

And Sanji, eyes bulging and jaw almost on the floor, stared. Just…

Stared.

Usopp waited for something to happen; to be jumped on or laughed at or just-just anything. But as the seconds ticked away with no response, he felt his face begin to burn as he looked away, starting to reach for the ears as he rapidly spoke, "I-I'm sorry. This was stupid. I don't know what I was think-Eeee!"

He was cut off when Sanji crossed the three foot distance between them in an instant, grabbing him by his tie and yanking him into a passionate kiss that left him breathless and weak-kneed. "When you said you had a surprise for me," The cook mumbled against his lips, "I never expected this. You're getting brave."

Usopp could feel the smile in the next kiss. "S-So, you like it?"

And then he squeaked as Sanji's hands fell on his spandex-clad ass and squeezed, "I love it." He grinned at him. "Now, how do you plan to help me celebrate, little usa-chan*?"

He couldn't help the slight shiver that wracked through him as his anxiety finally eased away. He reached up for the first buttons on Sanji's coat, determined to make this the best damn birthday Sanji ever had.

"Well first, let's make you more comfortable…"

A/N: I wrote this for the very first Sanuso Saturday on tumblr in which Ichigootaku01 wanted the theme to be 'Playboy Bunny' and this idea popped into my head. Obviously, I was a little late finishing. And no one even really follows my blog anyways since it's all empty and stuff, so I don't even know why I participated.

*Usa-chan – Fun fact time! Usagi is how one says rabbit in Japanese – however, to say bunny, one would say either Usa or Usa-chan. I had Sanji use the second one to be a play-off of Uso-chan.