A/N: Hey guys! Everybody's favorite ADD girl is back! And she now comes with depression and an anxiety disorder! YAY! (not) Oh and today is my birthday so read and review as a maternal womb-exploding anniversary celebration present! Also this is dedicated to Michelle the BETA that doesn't know she's a BETA therefore she never catches any mistakes. Oh and should I dye my hair? Thank you!!! On with it!
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight or New Moon or SingStar or anything even remotely recognizable (though I do claim James because I love her!) I would not be spending my birthday alone like I am right now. (though maybe not SingStar…)
Day 1
Bluck, the sun. Seriously, I wouldn't mind a rooster caw if the sun wasn't so bright. Let me tell you: sun plus hangover equals Hell on Earth. Not that I've had that many hangovers, this is only my first, and definitely my last. I mentally checked "getting hammered at a Frat party" off my list as I tried to reason with myself to let myself go back to sleep. But eventually, I decided to pretend like I wasn't drinking all night, and I got up.
I moseyed on down to the kitchen to start breakfast, then I moseyed back on up to tell Pete he would have to be the chef today because nobody would want to taste my cooking today (I found this out after I dumped a cup of salt into a bowl instead of sugar, and I can't remember what I was trying to make).
"Pete, wake up, I want chocolate chip pancakes." I flopped down on his bed next to him; his room was nice and dark. His only reply was a grunt. "Peter please…" Well that's really all I remember because I fell asleep again.
I woke up to slightly off-key singing, and the sounds and smells of yummy food being made. My head still hurt though the pain was much more manageable than the last time I was conscious, now if only I could figure out what I did last night.
I was still trying to remember what happened during the most recent black period in my life as I showered, dressed and brushed my teeth.
When I got downstairs I had pieced together memories of drinking, music, and dancing (well, it was more like grinding) so I was thinking (hoping) that was all I did, (after all I am a big fan of Old School) but it was a frat party, so you never know. Oh well, what's done is done, and I don't know what I did so it won't hurt me (I also don't really live in this town so it doubly doesn't matter as much).
I finally took the time to inhale deeply and appreciate the scents that had begun to fill the whole house.
"Pickle, it smells so good in here." Pete laughed as he turned around with a mixing bowl still in hand; it looks like I get to take beer bread home with me.
"What'd you expect it to smell like, poop?" He put the bowl down and flipped the pancakes that were on the stove.
"Well, you were cooking…" So I knew it would smell good I finished in my head.
"Of course, and thank you for believing in my cooking skills. Also, what time am I taking you to the airport?" I checked a clock.
"Um, we need to leave in two hours to be there on time." This sucks, only two more hours with Peter Pan, who had just placed a big plate of pancakes (chocolate chip!) in front of me.
"What time did you get back last night?" Dang, I was hoping to avoid questions like that.
"I have absolutely no idea." I really hope the truth works this time, luckily Pete just laughed.
"Killer hangover?" Of course Pete would know all about hangovers; he used to be a partier before he became school obsessed.
"Of course." He started taking out a blender, and I started cringing.
"Want a Pete-tested and approved cure?" He cracked a grin and I knew this wasn't going to be good.
"Sure?" I gave him a sideways glance not knowing if I really wanted to be cured or not, and then I got my answer as he started up the blender. I was beginning to get the feeling that hangovers mixed with nothing, except maybe death.
"No pain, no gain!" Pete shouted as he threw some things into the blender that made me want to vomit.
"I think I'll stick with pancakes!" I shouted back looking down at my plate again, but Pete was already done blending among the most gross things syrup, spaghetti, and I think human hair.
"Well, that's a fun way to get rid of leftovers." When Pete said that I felt so relieved I just about started crying.
"Oh my pickle Pete! You seriously had me wondering how hard it would be to avoid you for the rest of eternity! I was thinking about going into hiding rather than eating that disgusting concoction!" Of course Pete just laughed his head off, and then tried to get me to "slurp it all down". No way Josefina, I don't care how much your life depends on it I thought to myself.
We spent the rest of the time until we had to leave eating, searching for items I would miss, and deciding I am better with directions, therefore I should drive (which we had been arguing about since forever).
On the hour and a half ride that it takes to get to the airport we mostly just talked and sung various Queen songs at the top. After that we said our goodbyes (for now), and I got on the plane.
I made my way down the aisles and finally saw where I was sitting, and I could feel my face drop, but I tried to be brave and kept on marching.
I winced at the little boy sleeping in the seat next to my assigned one.
As I sat down and stared at the sleeping ball of torture that surely lay ahead of me, a man sat down in the seat next to me and took in the frightened expression on my face.
"Don't worry, he loves flying." He was smiling; he probably got a lot of disapproval over the little boy. I gave a huge sigh of relief as he reassured me.
"I'm Mike by the way, and this is my son Benjamin."
"Nice to meet you both," I smiled as I shook his hand; he had a nice grip, "I'm James." Sadly enough, the name I loved so much usually turned away guys; thank god this one didn't have a ring or a tan line.
"James." He stated, testing it out. "I like it, it's different."
"Thanks, most people think it's odd, but I think it just gives people a preview of my personality." I mentally slapped myself. I mean, could I have ruined it any faster? But Mike just smiled, probably wondering what made me so odd.
"Oh great, I have to sit next to a toddler and a crazy person!" We both started laughing at his horrible luck.
"So why are you going to Washington?" He asked non-chalantly, though I hoped he was really thinking about what I thought he was thinking: which was dating.
"I'm heading home, to a small town called Forks." I laughed as I remembered its size, but Mike just stared at me with his mouth slightly ajar.
"What?" I finally asked, because his expression was a) freaking me out and b) making me laugh so hard I was in danger of needing new pants.
"I'm from Forks too!"
"No way Josefina, I haven't seen you once."
"You must be new to town because I was at college for the last couple of years, but I did live there, my parents own Newton's." That knocked the breath out of me; Newton's supplied the dough for my mom's migration to me, so that pretty much meant I owed him my happiness.
"No way, my mom used to work there." He contemplated this new information, probably wondering who the oldest person that he wasn't related to himself was.
"Hmm, what's your mom's name?"
"Bella Cullen, well it was Bella Swan." Mike started laughing.
"What?" I asked for the second time in like, five minutes; it's times like these I wished I could read minds like my dad.
"That would make you James Cullen." He said between gulps of air.
"Thank you Captain Obvious for pointing out that the kettle is indeed black, but what's your point?" He was still laughing, which was earning us some glares from the bigwigs in suits.
"You are probably the biggest scandal in the history of Forks." I blushed remembering the first time I went grocery shopping in Forks, but pushed the humiliating memory aside; a tendency I had learned from my mom.
There's been bigger I'm sure." I could feel my face getting hotter by the chuckle.
"Yeah, maybe when it didn't rain for a whole week." He snorted, but he had finally finished laughing.
After Mike had finished up on the subject of scandal, we talked about careers (he was going to become a mechanical engineer, and I already was a doctor), love (his wife had left him to climb mountains with her lover Lonnie, who is a girl), and kids (because Benjamin woke up and acted unlike any other). I couldn't believe that sitting next to a two year-old would have turned out to be this much fun, or get you a hot guys number so fast.
I was sad that it had to end but I couldn't wait to see my family; it felt like I hadn't seen them in forever. So after I got off the plane I looked around for my family. At first I didn't spot them but I knew it wouldn't be hard as long as I looked in all of the large, dark, hidden areas, you know, the usual places a loving family would wait for the returning baby.
It took me forever but I finally found my mom and dad hiding behind a tall column. I always find it funny that my parents look so young, I mean, I know that they are really as young as me and pretending to be five years older than me (and my dad is really over one hundred years old), but every time I see them they scare me they look so young (though they act like my dad's got a receding hairline and glasses and my mom's graying hair is turning her into a Zen hippie, and that makes me laugh because Alice would never let a Cullen be a hippie)
"How come only you two are here?" I was proud that I had actually waited for the questions until after the huggy session unlike someone cough mom cough.
"Well," my mom started at just barely human speed, "Emmett is still mad at you and scared that you were bringing Michelle back, so Rosalie stayed with him to try to convince her you two weren't the devil and she enlisted Jasper to help change Emmett's feelings, and then Alice stayed because she wanted to go through your closet to make room for more clothes so she could take you shopping, and then Carlisle got called in to help out with some emergency so Esme decided to make a huge dinner for you and make sure that the house was clean enough." It's really kind of sad how years of living with Alice can rub off so easily on a person.
"Shopping?" See what I mean. "And how can Emmett still be mad about that?! He knows singstar is totally rigged! I mean how many times do you have to tell a guy he sings better than most boy bands?" I told him that a billion times and it just gets harder to say with a straight face.
"Apparently it's going to take a lot more than that considering Emmett found out it's not even supposed to be possible to get that score." Ha but apparently Emmett didn't find out that Michelle and I found a way to give us that score without earning it; these were the times I was glad my dad couldn't read my mind.
"Yah but Emmett was the one that challenged us and it's not our fault we are that good at video games!" And even better at rewiring them.
"Who's Yabbot?" Of course dad would decide this is the time to be a cornball.
"My boyfriend, oh, and by the way I'm moving in with him, and we're going to live off of love." As if I had ever had a boyfriend my parents knew about, I'm guessing that is the reason why both of my parents just started laughing instead of freaking out.
When we finally got to the place my parents had been herding me towards, I started laughing and gave my dad a high-five because instead of my mom's old truck that she had owned was a nice (a/n: insert the name of a nice, fast car here because I know nothing about cars and I am fighting with Google at the moment).
"How did you do it?" I was still staring at the car in awe of my dad's arguing skills.
"Do what?" He looked sincerely confused, gosh darnitt.
"You did get mom to get this car right?"
He sighed, and then said, "No I had to get myself another car because your mom would not take this one."
"Can I have it? Because my car is really slow and safe and this one will never get used because-"
"You know what guys, I think I like this car after all, gimme the keys Edward." Mission accomplished. My mom is a big freak about me, and fast cars getting together and having an "accident". I winked at my dad as he got in the passenger side and we both smiled knowing what we had done.
We talked about my trip, and how Pete was doing the rest of the way home, and yes, a Queen song was sung.
When we got home I banged through the door with human clumsiness that alerted any family that didn't hear my that I was home, but I only had eyes for Emmett, or rather, I wanted him to forgive me so he could be on my side for the next family argument or whatever I needed.
Emmett was sitting on the couch in the living room watching some show and he kept his face on the screen trying his hardest to keep his pout though I saw him smile when I fell over trying to get my shoes off.
"Emmett?" I put on my best pouty face.
"What?" He said, leaving his eyes on the screen.
"Are you still mad about that stupid game?" I prepared myself for fake tears.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I had forgotten during the two weeks I was gone how competitive Emmett was.
I sighed, letting go of the perfect pout I had in place. "Emmett, I am going to let you in on a little secret: Michelle works with video games."
"So?" I rolled my eyes as Emmett kept his on the screen.
"Emmett, Michelle works for Sony!" And of course Emmett went for the silent treatment.
"Emmett, SingStar is a product of Sony and Michelle helped create it, I don't know how I can be more obvious!" I happened to notice that all of my bags were gone and that my family had replaced them. I also noticed that I was pretty much yelling.
"So you are saying that you cheated? How does that make me feel better?" He had finally muted the T.V. and turned to looked at me.
"Well we only cheated because we knew we could never beat you without it! So, truce?" I was crossing my fingers as I said that first sentence; Emmett sings like a drunk goat in a karaoke bar.
"Fine, truce." He cracked a smile and caught me in a bear hug that mad breathing impossible.
"Emmett- still- human." I gasped out.
"Oh, right." He put me down so I could get crushed by the rest of the family, but that was okay with me, because if I could choose it would just be my family and I forever. And in six months, that's exactly how it would be.
Next time on Not Enough Intuition…Jacob Black and Mike Newton, a surprise and some puke…
A/N: Seventeen Years by Ratatat is pretty much the song for James right now, and of course, she is 17 at the moment. Man that was long!! I know it is kind of all over but I wrote three actually four different parts and wrote them together I think you can tell the areas that happened. Which sucks. Okay well am going to go because this ran onto page six! So tell me how I can make this better. Thanks, you're a doll!!
Sprinkles on a birthday cake,
Andie "I made eye contact with a solitary pickle" Evans