Title: Still Hurting
Author: IndigoNight
Summary: They had it all. He said it was the end. Years later, Remus agreed. But he realizes too late that he was wrong, so he is left, still hurting.
Feedback: Yes please, yay reviews!
Pairing: SiriusxRemus
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters I'm just borrowing them for fun.
Spoilers: Ootp
Warnings: Slash, don't like, don't read.
Author's Note: Inspired by a song of the same title from a play called The Last Five Years. A bit too long to be a drabble, but not long enough for a full oneshot, oh well. Just a short, angsty idea I got listening to the song. I cried writing it. Hope you like it, please review!
Enjoy!
"Its got to end, Remus," he said quietly. His eyes were downcast and his voice soft.
Immediately a thousand things began to run through Remus' mind. A thousand pleas, a thousand refusals, a thousand demands to know why. But he said none of those things. Only three small, whispered words forced their way out of his suddenly too dry throat. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sorry," he said, still not looking at Remus, "It's got to."
Remus nodded, blinking back tears, then he was gone.
It was late the next day when Remus heard the news. Lily and James Potter were dead. They had been betrayed by Sirius Black.
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So you say that its over, Sirius. You say that it's the only way; that we have to move on. I don't know why, and I don't care. I loved you, Sirius, but did you love me?
So you've moved on. You're fine. Whatever we had, it's gone, its dead, that's what you decided.
Fine. Be like that.
But I'm still here Sirius, and I'm still hurting.
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"It's been a long time, Remus," he said. He was trying to smile, but Remus wasn't looking at him.
"Twelve years is a long time," Remus replied.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I was wrong. It didn't have to end."
"No," Remus shook his head, "I think it did."
He nodded, swallowing hard and blinking back tears. Then Remus gone.
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No, Remus, it isn't true. I was wrong.
So maybe you've moved on. So maybe you gave up on me. I deserved, its true.
But Remus, I'm still here, and I'm still hurting.
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Remus hadn't been there when he'd left Grimmauld Place to go to the Department of Mysteries. Remus hadn't been able to persuade him not to go. Remus hadn't been able to talk to him before… before he was gone.
So now Remus stood, alone, in his empty room. It felt so cold and lonely without him in it. As Remus sat on the bed he could still feel the dent where he'd lain. Remus buried his face in the pillow; it still smelled like him.
But he was gone, and Remus was alone.
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I still love you, Sirius. I never stopped. I never will. You may be gone, but I'm still here, and, Sirius, I'm still hurting.