Summary: As humans, we believe we know everything about ourselves. But what happens when we're not as whole as we once thought? AkuRoku. AU.
Warnings: Language and sexual themes. YAOI. Don't like, get out.
Disclaimers: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, and I do not own 'Ella.' She is property of my dear friend. Appears briefly.
A/N: I spent hours and hours on this. It took forever to write, and I felt so bad that it took forever. I promised my friend that I would give it to her in a week. Three-Four weeks later, I send it. I was so guilty for not giving it sooner, but she said it was fine. I believe her. And she loved it. :3 BAH. THIS A/N SUCKS ASS. I'M SO TIRED. IT'S... Oh my God... Is it really three? Oh... Oh wow. I... I think I just died a little. D: Well. Whatever. I enjoyed writing this, blah blah blah. Angst below, a little shakey in places, some of it seems rushed, BLAH FRIGGIN' BLAH.
I'm gunna go crash.
When We Are One
This sucked.
Roxas sighed and dug his hands deeper into his pants pockets, wrapping his thin fingers around the warm metal keys lying at the bottom. He traced the familiar ridges of his apartment key, blue eyes straying along all the cracks in the sidewalks of Twilight Town; and he wondered why in his right mind he had stayed in the small town. He despised the fact that he knew all the short cuts, knew all the places and all the faces that went with each – he knew the train schedules by heart for Christ's sake! If that didn't scream pathetic, Roxas needed to face the fact that he carried a uterus between his hips. Feeling that something was, in fact, still swinging, he knew that he had made a mistake. He should have gone to college somewhere else, somewhere that wasn't near Twilight Town.
The blond rolled his head, face toward the heavens, and let a breathy groan escape from between his lips. He released his now sweaty keys and retracted his hands from his pockets only to shove them into blond spikes.
He seriously needed to do something with his life, soon. He couldn't take all the same routines, the same faces that went with their respective places, or even the same sunset, sunrise he saw every day. He just… He needed something new and exciting to happen in this little town. He needed it o happen to him. Because he swore to God, if he saw that same old man sitting at that same table with the same magazine again tomorrow, he would turn tail and leave in the middle of his shift. He didn't care if he lost his job – he only had five more days until he would start his senior year at college. He would have had to quit anyway, so why not stop a few days early and go to the beach?
The twenty-two year-old stopped dead in his tracks, hands still buried deep in spikes. His blue eyes widened slightly before closing as he groaned yet again. He raked his hands out of his hair, ruffling it briefly before said hands drug down his face slowly.
The thought of the beach… it repulsed his. He had been there so many times before with his three best friends that he never wanted to go near it again. It held so many memories of the countless summers he had spent there, his friends towing along. Roxas didn't think he could stand to remember all of the memories, atleast… not without the people who had made them with him. But that was impossible. His friends didn't live in Twilight Town anymore. After they graduated, any plans they had made before went up in flames. Pence and Olette had realized that they were attracted to each other, and they ran off to Olympus. Pence loved history and got accepted to a prestigious school there while Olette got accepted to a general college. She was majoring in… some art field. Roxas didn't know. They never talked anymore. Not after… Not after Hayner's reaction to Olette and Pence becoming an item. He had yelled and thrown things before falling silent. Then he was gone, almost like he had disappeared. A months after he vanished, Roxas got a letter with a picture of the other blond hugging some girl close to him. The entire letter consisted of Hayner saying that he was doing fine and would write again. That never happened.
The blond sighed, his hands falling to brush against his clothed thighs. He missed his friends so much that his heart ached at the thought of them. Sometimes when he thought of them too much, he would…
"Oh, fuck," Roxas cursed under his breath as he felt something wet run down his cheek. He hurriedly brought up a hand to wipe away the tear before vigorously rubbing both of his eyes. There was no way he was going to cry over the people who had abandoned him, left him alone in a town that he was slowly growing to despise. He wasn't going to shed another tear for the best friends that didn't even attempt to keep in touch anymore.
Granted, he hadn't tried to write to them recently, but why should he? They never answered any of his other letters. So, why should he bother?
A giggle brought the blond out of his pensive thoughts, and Roxas froze with his hand still pressed against one of his eyes. His uncovered blue eye snapped around the empty alley he still stood in, taking note of every shadow and every crack, making sure nothing was out of place and he was still, doubtfully, alone. But then, where had he heard the very feminine giggle? He hadn't imagined Olette laughing again, had he? It had only happened once before, but it had been a month after his friends had left, and it had been when he was sitting in the Usual Spot under the train tracks. He doesn't remember ever being here with his friends, and if he had been, it's been over a three years since Roxas heard Olette laugh.
Wait…
Did Olette move back?
Roxas remembered her telling him about how Pence and she fought sometimes, and on one occasion – the last time the two friends had spoken to each other – the burnet had mentioned moving back if the two ever broke up. Olette didn't think she could stand living in the same town as the other burnet, so she would move as far away from him as possible. That meant Twilight Town, where she believed Roxas would stay for the rest of his life. After all, he loved sunsets and being near the beach. If only she knew that since the blond had been left alone, he had come to hate both of those things. And if she ever moved back to Twilight Town, Roxas would slam the door in her tear-streaked, pretty little face. He would never let someone who had left him without any friends live with him.
There!
Roxas' eyes focused on a black shoe and strands of brown hair turning around the corner at the end of the alley.
"Wait," The blond stumbled forward a step before breaking out into a jog. "Wait!"
He turned the corner sharply, hand lingering on the brick of the alleyway, eyes searching and turning up empty. The girl had just… vanished. The blond deflated, his hand sliding down the rough wall as he sighed. Maybe Olette hadn't moved back after all and it was just Roxas' imagination playing another trick on him. It was a little hotter than usual today and the extra heat of just getting to him, making his brain a bit fuzzy.
Another giggle set the blond on edge, blue immediately locking onto a head of brown hair disappearing into one of the many underground alleyways, and before he knew it, his tennis-clad feet were carrying him to the same entrance. He didn't even pause to peer down into the entrance before he was already at the bottom of the slight slope and turning the corner to look down the tunnel. His heart stuttered in his chest slightly when his eyes came up empty again, but when a giggle sounded from the end of the tunnel and another black shoe was spotted, he was running to catch it.
Roxas didn't keep track of the endless twists and turns he made following the mysterious girl with black shoes and brown hair, the girl who kept giggling as if she was trying to make sure Roxas didn't lose track of her. In return, the blond kept running after her, shouting for her to stop and tell him why she had been watching him back in the alley. He never got a real answer, only giggles, and once even a real laugh. But as they went deeper into the connecting channels of the underground alley, the blond started to gain on the girl. He started to see her ankle, calf, sometimes even her hand. Then suddenly, she was there, just standing there at the top of a slope leading out of the underground alley. Roxas gasped, shielding his eyes from the sunlight that poured in through the entrance. His blue eyes strained to adjust to the light as he made out black shoes, long pale legs, a black mini skirt, a black hoodie with red trim, and then long, wavy brown hair. The girl smiled at him as she put on a black beanie and stepped out of the entrance.
"W-Wait!" Roxas cried as he forced his feet to carry him up the slope and out into the open.
The sun was even brighter than it had been in the alley and the blond was forced to hiss and cover his eyes with both hands. How had the girl just walked right out into it? It was as if knives were getting shoved into his blue eyes. Suddenly his heart gave a painful throb and he gasped, forcing his eyes to open and search the area for the girl. There was no way he could lose her after all that, he would be devastated. Although… Why would he be devastated? Why was she so important to him? He had just met her – well, he hadn't really met her – and, sure, he wanted to know why she had been watching him. But why would that make him run after her?
"There you are!"
Roxas jumped at the cry, tensing up and quickly looking for the voice. And there it was, located at the far corner of the Sandlot, the place where Roxas had participated in the Struggle Competition for six summers straight. There was the girl jogging toward a figure wearing all black, hair and face concealed by a black hood and dark shadows. Roxas wondered how the person wasn't passing out from heat stroke wearing all of that, since the blond was only wearing thin cargo pants and a tee-shirt.
"You just suddenly disappeared, and I was beginning to wonder if you had actually gotten lost in this small town," The man, from the sound of his voice, said to the girl as she slowed to a walk as she neared him. "I mean, really, Ella. How hard is it to follow me while keeping your eyes peeled for him at the same time?"
So her name was 'Ella.' Was it short for something? Or was she just called 'Ella?'
"Sorry," 'Ella' apologized when she stopped in front of the man. "I just saw this really cool looking alley-entrance-thing and had to go look around."
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't stray again, we have to look as much as possible today," The man said as he brought his hands up to his hood. "I don't want to have to start from the beginning again tomorrow. We've already found out so much today, I don't want to lose all of the leads we've gained."
And then the hood was gone. Roxas froze as he took in bright red spikes and a pale complexion. There were small red eyebrows and high cheek bones decorated with tattoos that resembled upside-down triangles. His lips were a faint pink and thin, complementing his nose and skinning face. And his eyes…
Where have I seen those eyes before?
"Yeah, I know. But don't worry," The girl turned slightly toward Roxas and her lips pulled up into a devious smile. Her own cheek bones had tattoos similar to the redhead's and she clasped her small, pale hands behind her back. "I don't think we need to look anymore."
The redhead's eyes narrowed precariously, the corners of his mouth pulling down as he opened his mouth.
"What are you talking about, Ella? You know why I have to find him, so why are you saying that we should give up?" He spat at her, his hands clenching tightly.
"Because," She smirked at him, rocking on her feet before leaning in close. "I've already found him."
The redhead's mouth went slack in confusion before his own eyes followed the direction in which the girl's looked. And Roxas soon found himself staring into piercing green eyes.
"What do you say, Axel?" The girl's smirk broadened as she 'perused' her nails, her brown eyes actually watching the other's every movement. Roxas jerked slightly at the redhead's name, his mind lurching to a stop and his heart hammering.
Why does his name sound so familiar?
"I – I… How did you..?" 'Axel' took a step toward the frozen blond, his emerald eyes never leaving wide, shocked blue.
"Like I said before, I had to look around that underground alley-thing, and when I exited said alley-thing, I stumbled upon a motionless, teary blond," She smiled this time as she, too, turned and took a step toward the boy still standing in the same spot. "You were right, Ax. He's cute, and he's fast. Almost caught me at the end there, right, Roxas?"
No answer came from the blond as he continued to stare at Axel, his thoughts so nebulous and incomprehensible that he opened and closed his mouth, partial words coming out as gasps. His stomach churned horribly before dropping as the two people took another step toward him. His thoughts suddenly reeled into focus, overwhelming him and making his mind spin acutely. They screamed at him to move, to run from the people who had been looking for him, to get as far away as possible and then to double back and return home. But how did he know that they didn't know where he lived? Who was to say they didn't know where he worked, which routes he took home, and the detours he took on the way home?
Roxas blanched, turning his head to the side as he gasped and put a hand to his chest in which raced his heart.
"Roxas? Are you okay?" Axel asked, and Roxas turned his pointed gaze to him, suddenly noticing how close the other was. The blond gasped again and took a quick, unsteady step back. Both pairs of advancing eyes narrowed slightly at the movement.
"Get – Get away from me," Roxas whispered, taking another step back in an attempt to keep some of the dwindling distance between him and those… those people.
"Rox, calm down. We're not going to hurt you," Ella said softly, smiling reassuringly.
Roxas stuttered something under his breath, snapping bleary eyes from the burnet to the redhead. He didn't know these people; he didn't trust these people…
So why am I letting them get close to me?
"We've been looking everywhere for you, Roxas," The redhead smiled at him sadly. "After you just suddenly disappeared, we've been looking."
Roxas felt his face drain of all color, his eyes widen and his lips part in some unknown emotion, his feet freezing where they were.
"Do you remember, Rox?" Ella spoke, smiling more as she saw the stop in his retreat. "We were best friends – you, me, Axel, Demyx, and so many other people. We hung out all the time, laughing and fooling around. We stuck together since we were all orphans. We helped each other with everything and anything. Do you remember?"
They were right in front of him now, Axel's hand resting on the blond's small shoulder. He looked between them both, his mind reeling and his heart pounding so fast in his chest it sounded like a humming bird. He opened his mouth, his throat constricting and his eyes focusing on something far away before suddenly he was back, and the world tilted at a horrible angle.
"Get away from me!" Roxas screamed, slapping Axel's hand away from him and hurrying a safe distance away from the two people staring at him in shock. "Get away! I don't know you, I don't know you! And you don't know me! So go away, leave me alone!"
"Wait a second, Roxas—" Axel spoke, holding out a black gloved hand.
"Leave me alone!" Roxas screeched as he turned and fled down the slight slope leading underground. There were shouts from both of the people as they hurried to catch up with him, but like 'Axel' had said, Roxas was fast. And when he was running from two people that had been looking for him, he was a fucking bat out of Hell. So he ignored them and ran, turning and turning and descending deeper and deeper into the maze of tunnels before making a sudden stop and leaping, latching onto the edge of some accidental opening in the wall. He heaved and struggled to pull himself up, skittering into the opening just as the two people turned the corner.
"Where did he go?" Axel shouted anxiously as Roxas moved further into the opening until he was against the back of it, a hand over his mouth to stifle his panting. "Where the fuck did he go? He can't just vanish into thin air!"
The blond could hear the slaps their feet made against the bricks as they ran down the tunnel, right past the opening in which he hid, and around the corner, cursing loudly and colorfully as they came up empty. Then it was quiet, and Roxas stayed still for a few moments, hand still over his mouth as tears of fear pricked his eyes.
What did they want from me? Why were they so intent on finding for me?
Roxas moved toward the opening, knowing that if he didn't want them to double back and find him here, he had to move. So he got to the edge and dropped down, wincing as the impact jolted up his spine painfully. He quickly glanced up at the place he had hid and wondered at how high it actually was. It was atleast another half of his height, give or take. So how had he made it? A sudden shout came from the end of the tunnel and Roxas froze briefly, eyes going wide before he turned and bolted back the way he had come. He made more turns, so many that he was soon so lost that it was a miracle he finally found an exit. He ran up the slope, bursting out into the sun light and taking a few steps before he ran into a wall.
Atleast, it felt like a wall. But how could a wall catch him from falling flat on his ass?
He snapped his wild gaze to the person holding him by his forearms and was greeted by blinding silver.
"Whoa, are you okay?" The person asked, steadying the blond but still holding onto his forearms. Roxas took note of the fact that the person was probably the prettiest guy he had ever seen. He had shoulder length silver hair and intense teal eyes, and – Roxas took immediate notice of – a strong build. Maybe even strong enough to help him keep away Axel and Ella.
"No, I – I," Roxas gasped, hands coming up to grasp the other's elbows. "There's – There are these two people and – and they're following me and they said that they've been looking for me."
The teal eyes narrowed dangerously, the taller boy's hands tightening on the blond's arms.
"What do they look like?" He asked in a low voice, lowering his head in order to be eye level with Roxas.
"There's this girl with brown hair and a – a black cap, and a guy with red spikes and green eyes and a black trench coat." Roxas stuttered, his blue eyes wildly searching the other's for understanding. They narrowed even more and the hands started to bruise his arms. "And then they started talking about how they knew me and how I suddenly disappeared and—"
Roxas broke off when he saw that the other looked livid, and the taller boy looked over his shoulder at two people standing a ways off. Roxas followed his gaze to see a girl with red hair and a boy with chocolate brown spikes. Both looked at him before focusing on the silver haired teen.
"Sora, Kairi," He addressed the others, and Roxas froze at the names, eyes going wide as they rung some bell in his head. The boy still gripping his arms didn't notice. "Roxas says two people told him they knew him and knew that he suddenly disappeared a few years back."
"I never told you my name," Roxas said deathly quiet. Teal eyes snapped to him, narrowing just a little more.
"What are you talking about?" He snapped.
"I never told you my name, so how – how do you know it?" His blue eyes widened in fear, his mind whirling, and he tried to jerk his arms out of the other boy's. "How do you know me?"
The eyes glaring at him suddenly opened wide in shock. It looked like he caught his mistake. Roxas swallowed hard, jerking his arms even more in an attempt to break the other's hold.
"What are you talking about? I know you from college, Roxas," He said, tightening his grip slightly. "We have a few classes together. Don't you remember? We were partners once."
Roxas stilled his movements, gasping a little as he forced his brain to work. And he remembered briefly that he, in fact, did have a partner once in the beginning of sophomore year. The silver haired boy smiled softly, loosening his hold.
"Now, tell me about these people, Axel and Ella, right?"
Roxas nodded, opening his mouth to reply before he snapped it shut. His gaze narrowed on the other boy before he jerked away from him, successfully stealing his now bruised arms back.
"My partner's hair was brown," He whispered, and the other boy cocked his head at him, giving him an unreadable look. "My partner back in sophomore year. Their hair was brown. And her name was Kara, but everyone called her by her middle name, Lily."
Teal eyes narrowed again, glaring fiercely at the blond.
"And I never told you their names, the redhead and the burnet. I never told you their names," Roxas gasped, taking a few steps back. He rubbed his arms and felt tears pricking his eyes again. "Who are you? What – What do you want from me?"
The boy and girl joined the taller one by his side, blocking any escape that Roxas could have taken. And there was no way he was going to go back into the underground tunnels.
"It seems like we're busted, Sora, Kairi," The silver haired boy spoke quietly, and Roxas could feel his eyes widen.
"That's okay, Riku," The girl said, glancing at the taller boy before looking back at the scared blond.
"What do you mean, Kairi? He knows," 'Riku' growled to her.
"I know. But Sora told Axel where we are. He'll be here shortly," 'Kairi' said calmly, her gaze never leaving the blond.
"What?" Roxas gasped, his eyes flying between the three people in front of him. They all gazed back calmly. "I – I…"
"What do you want from me?" He screeched, pulling on his hair harshly and the burnet – Sora – took a step forward. "Why me? Why are you guys looking for me? What did I do?"
Huffing came from behind the screaming blond and he froze, eyes going wide and a few tears escaping. He turned slowly to see that a sweating Axel and Ella were standing there, glaring at him.
"Was it really so hard to catch him?" Riku spat, eyes narrowing on the panting duo. "And why in the Hell did you blow our cover?"
"Shut up, pretty boy," Axel spat venomously. "He's fucking fast, and Ella was the one to blow the whole thing. Blame her."
"Hey! I was the one who found him in the first place!" Ella cried, pushing the redhead roughly. "And you're the one who looked at him like a damned lovesick puppy!"
"Enough!" Riku yelled, glaring heavily at the two behind a still shell-shocked and faintly crying blond.
"We need to explain everything." Sora said, gazing sadly at Roxas who was in the middle of trepidation. "We need to explain to Roxas why we're here. He's scared out of his mind."
All eyes trained on the blond, and almost simultaneously, they took a step toward him. He started gasping, his hands shaking horribly and more tears running down his face.
"Stay away from me," He whispered.
His mind spun and his stomach churned as they took another step closer.
"Stay away, please," He gasped.
More tears ran down his face as Sora said his name in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner.
"No, no, stay away, please, stay away."
His head spun more and his world tilted acutely. He gasped sharply as they took another step, and his world fell to the side. He faintly saw shock flying across all their faces, and he felt himself hitting something, then nothing.
Axel sighed as he gazed down as the unconscious blond in his arms, his tear-streaked face pallid and slack. He had lunged forward when the blond started collapsing and caught him just before his head hit the brick. His group had gasped and stared as the redhead slumped slightly with the limp boy now safe.
"I – I didn't expect him to faint," Riku murmured while he stared at Roxas, his face closed off.
"Yeah, well, what do you expect? For him to just smile and said 'Okay, I'll let you crazy people take me where ever you want as long as you explain everything!'" Axel spat and glared at the silver haired boy. "He's got to react some way, and when he ran first, that was normal and to be expected. Then he got here and tried to get help, then started screaming when he realized that you were 'out to get him,' also. Then he collapsed because he was overwhelmed."
"Yeah, well. He never would have collapsed if you wouldn't have blown our cover," Sora said as he glared slightly.
Axel turned his fierce gaze to the small burnet as he hissed. "Oh please, Sora. Why does it matter now? Fuck, let's just get over it and figure out what the hell we're going to do with an unconscious Roxas."
Everyone was quiet as they watched Axel turn his now flat eyes to the boy in his arms. They knew how much the boy meant to the redhead, after all, and that was why they were here in the first place.
"What do you want to do, Axel?" Ella whispered as she gazed at the redhead. "We're all here because of you, so what do you want to do?"
Axel looked at her, his eyes brimming with tears slightly before he looked back at the blond.
"If we stay with him, we ruin the life he made," Axel murmured, bringing a hand up to trace the bag under Roxas' left eye. "But if you were him, wouldn't it be nice to wake up in your own bed and believe that this was all just a really bad dream?"
The redhead's friend looked at him sadly as he brought up his defeated gaze to look at them all in turn.
"Wouldn't it be nice to think that?" He blinked back a few tears that threatened to spill. "To just think it was a dream and forget it ever happened?"
Roxas groaned, turning his head to the side, his brow furrowed before it smoothed out, the blond sighing as sleep drug him under again. Axel sighed and placed his hand back in his lap, leaning back in the wooden chair he had brought into the room. He told himself that he would not reach out and touch the blond anymore. He needed every little bit of peace he could get before his life came crashing down around him.
The redhead closed his eyes as he thought back to earlier. Riku had told him that Roxas had no friends – that the ones the blond had managed to make over the few years spent away from them had left him to go to different colleges. He had a job at a café, and he went to a local college. He did fine in college, but rumor was that the blond was going to drop out, or transfer, which ever suited him best. People said that ever since his friends left, the blond went from outgoing to stoic like the flip of a switch. Some even said they thought he was going to commit suicide, seeing as how he had no parents and the only people he had grown close to had abandoned him. Almost everyone said that whenever they saw Roxas, he was always gazing out a window or staring at nothing. They didn't understand how he did well in school, but they never heard of him cheating, so they would just settle for believing that he studied outside of class. So Riku assured Axel that the life that Roxas had was nothing special, that the life he once had was over the minute his friends left him alone. Axel would ruin nothing for the blond if he decided to remind him of his old life with the redhead; in fact, he might even be Roxas' saving grace if the blond was thinking about committing suicide.
The blond sighed airily again, fingers twitching briefly in sleep as his brow furrowed. The redhead kept his emerald eyes focused on the other, waiting to see if he still slept the same as he did back then. When a quiet keen came from the slim throat, a pale hand grasped a slightly tanner one, squeezing it before tracing a thumb along the smaller knuckles. Roxas' brow smoothed out immediately, a breath of air pushing out between his barely parted lips. A smile tugged at the redhead's lips.
Countless nights Roxas had suffered from nightmares back in his old town, and Axel had always been there to calm him down whether he was awake or still asleep. Every time, Axel would take his hand and run his thumb across the blond's knuckles, and the nightmares would go away.
Axel stayed where he was, feeling and rememorizing the bumps of Roxas' knuckles for a few more minutes. Then with a great sigh, he pulled his hand back and stood, gazing at the sleeping blond momentarily before leaving the bedroom. He walked out into the living room and looked at the group that had helped him find and bring Roxas back to the apartment. They were all sitting around the TV watching some movie that was on, but no one looked as if they were paying attention. The redhead stopped silently and stared at the screen before focusing on the brown eyes looking at him. Almost immediately, all the eyes in the room turned to him, and Sora rose out of his chair.
"Is he awake?" He asked, hope shining in his eyes.
The redhead shook his head, sighing and looking at the flashing screen across the room. The energy that had managed to storm the room died down instantly, Sora 'oh'ing under his breath as he reseated himself beside Riku. Ella frowned at Axel before standing up and crossing the room to him.
"It's okay, Ax. He'll remember, and then – then everything will go back to the way it used to be," She murmured as she placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling a small smile when his green eyes met her brown ones. He looked away briefly before looking back and opening his mouth.
Bang, CRSSHH.
No one in the living room moved, all eyes turned down the hallway to where Axel had closed the door in which room contained Roxas. And then Axel was moving, bolting down the hall with Ella and Sora close at his heels. He opened the door to find the blond missing from the bed, his heart stuttering horribly in his chest as he moved into the room. His eyes scanned it before falling on the male flat against the wall, a lamp that rested on the table next to him now on the floor broken. Blue eyes snapped around the room wildly, Roxas' chest heaving in pure fear only to move a bit faster when his eyes landed on the redhead standing next to the door. The blond opened and closed his mouth, tears welling up in his eyes before one grew courageous and rolled down his wan cheek.
"Roxas," Axel whispered, taking a step toward the blond before stopping when he saw the other press himself against the wall more. The redhead looked down before taking another step back, lifting his eyes to look at the teary blue eyes staring at him.
"Why—?" Roxas croaked, sliding down the wall a bit as he continued to stare at the redhead. "Where am I? Why am I here? I – I don't understand. What do you want with me?"
Axel sucked in a breath sharply at the broken tone before sighing and taking a step forward. Roxas gasped and pressed himself against the wall, but Axel only shook his head as he grabbed the chair and brought it to him. He placed it against the opposite wall and sat in it, slouching forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He rested his lips against his laced fingers before pulling back to speak to the two people still standing in the doorway.
"You can go, I've got it from here," He murmured to the two, and when he saw the look Sora threw at him, he sighed. "I'll tell him everything about you, don't worry."
Ella gave the redhead a pointed look, also, before pushing Sora out of the door and closing it softly. Axel rested his green gaze back on the blue still staring at him. They simply stared at each other for minutes on end until Axel released a puff of breathe past his lips as he slumped back in his chair. He ran a hand through his hair before running it down his face slowly. He looked back at the blond before slumping further in his chair.
"Okay, Roxas. Let's do it your way," He said, sending the blond a tired look. "Ask me anything you want and I'll answer it."
The blond blinked at him slowly, raising a hand to wipe his face and eyes of all the tears there.
"That's – That's it? No torture or threats with a gun?" He asked quietly, eyes widening slightly as the redhead barked out a laugh.
"No, no torture or threats with a gun. Only talking."
Roxas immediately sunk to the floor with a grateful sigh, running a hand through his hair.
"Where am I?" The blond asked, focusing intently on the redhead staring at him.
"In my apartment bedroom in the lovely city of Hollow Bastion."
The blond tensed, his eyes widening in shock and a sudden onslaught of fear. Twilight Town was atleast two hours away from Hollow Bastion by train ride, three hours by car. How had they gotten him here without anyone noticing?
"We took the train from Twilight Town, drove from the station to here, and carried you up. No one asked questions, only commented on the fact that it looked like you were smashed. So we let them believe that," Axel said, looking out the window of his bedroom with a sullen expression. "Let me tell you now, Roxas. I'm not going to rape you; I'm not going to kill you. I didn't even want to kidnap you, but you gave me no choice. You ran when we tried to explain things, and you even fainted when we tried to explain. And I – I couldn't lose you a second time, so I brought you some place where I could explain everything without you running."
Green eyes looked into wide blue, searching for any emotion that would give away what the other was thinking.
"So ask your questions, Roxas. Then I'll tell you everything you don't ask about."
Roxas swallowed hard, ripping his eyes away from the green staring at him. He stared at a spot on the wood floors, his fingers unconsciously tracing a flaw in the wood by his butt.
"Who are you?"
"The name's Axel, got it memorized?"
Blue eyes flashed to him before returning back to the spot on the wood.
"No, I mean. Who are you?" He stressed the one word, giving it all the meaning he could.
"You mean," Axel started, confusion evident in his smooth voice. "Who am I, as a person?"
Roxas grunted his affirmative.
"Well, I'm a single, perverted twenty-three year-old brother to a single, perverted seventeen year-old girl. I'm a journalist, but I've always dreamed of being a chemical engineer. I want to make things explode and figure out how certain things work. However, I don't have enough money to afford a school in which I can get a degree in chemical engineering. So I'm working as a journalist in order to keep my sister and me a float. I'm a simple man who enjoys smoking and hanging out with his friends. I don't believe in love at first sight or in 'happily-ever-after's, but I do believe in marriage and love. I believe in justice and people suffering for their crimes, but I don't believe in execution or altruism. I fell in love once, and I will never fall in love with another," Axel finished, clearing his throat slightly and focusing on the blond staring at him. He smiled broadly.
"So, you have a sister," Roxas spoke slowly.
"Yeah, Ella is sure a pain sometimes, but I love her anyway."
"And you're a journalist until you can afford school to become a chemical engineer."
"Damn straight. I'm gunna learn how to make things blow up and get paid for it."
"You smoke and have friends."
"What man who smokes doesn't have friends?" Axel snorted as he crossed his arms.
"And you contradict your own beliefs."
"You can say that."
"And you fell in love once, and will love this person until the day you die."
There was a pause, Axel frowning and looking at the ground before connecting his intense green eyes with Roxas' blue.
"Yes, I will love him until the day I keel over."
Roxas hummed, easily accepting the fact that Axel was gay. After all, Hayner was bisexual and Roxas remembered walking in on him and some other boy making out. Even though he had been grossed out beyond belief, he grew to accept his best friend.
"So," Roxas murmured, turning his gaze toward the ground. "What do you want with me?"
He heard Axel sigh and shift in his chair, wincing slightly as he heard the redhead groan about 'knowing this was coming.'
"You're going to have to let me finish before you interrupt with any questions, Roxas," Axel said, and when Roxas glanced up to see if the redhead was serious, the blond nodded before looking back at the ground.
"Five years ago, there was an accident in a city that has never been rebuilt, nor will it be rebuilt. It's almost as if it had never existed, and to the people that knew it was there, it is now called the World that Never Was. You see, the government doesn't want the public to know that there had been a bombing in the World that Never Was. A man named Xemnas went mad and constructed a bomb that would blow up the whole city. He believed that nothing good would come of the city and he wanted to destroy it in order to build his own empire. But his plan back fired. His best friend and lover, Saïx, found out what he was doing and tried to stop him. He had warned the whole city to evacuate before he went to Xemnas' office in the tallest building in the center of the city. There was a fight in which Xemnas wasn't thinking and pushed Saïx. Saïx stumbled back and hit the window, breaking it and falling to his death. Being overrun with grief, Xemnas grabbed the remote to detonate the bomb and pushed it, blowing himself up and killing everyone within the city," Axel trailed off, looking at the blond staring at him before sighing and looking away.
"I used to live in that city, along with most of my friends now and the person I love. Saïx and Xemnas had been a part of the group, so we found out first what was going to happen. We had warned every one of our loved ones about what was going to happen, and we fled before everyone else. We were just out of the city before Xemnas' building exploded, taking out all of the buildings within a mile radius before all of the other buildings shook and collapsed.
"There was dust and debris everywhere and I remember waking up with a layer of dust on me. And there had been a chunk of rubble right by my head, big enough to crush it. And I panicked, thinking that if I had almost died, all of my friends and my sister could have died. So I screamed and yelled as I searched for them, turning over chunks of building and always worrying that the hand or leg from underneath a chunk was one of them. I remember crying as I searched and sobbing when I turned over a piece of rubble to find a girl who looked almost exactly like my sister. And Demyx found me there crying over her before saying that Ella was with his boyfriend Zexion, shaken up and crying about me being dead. So I ran to her, and we cried as we held each other. Then I took notice of the absence of our friends. Zexion said he found Lexaeus, Xaldin, and Xion crushed under some rubble, and then he found Vexen with his head smashed beneath the side of a building. The only reason he knew it was him was because on his left wrist, there was the Roman Numeral IV on a shield. Why he had it, we never knew, but it was him, and he was dead.
"An hour passed with no word from our five other friends. Then we saw two figures limping toward our small group, and Luxord, who was covered head to toe in dust, was supporting a dust covered and slightly bleeding Xigbar. He has a scar on his cheek now, right there," Axel said, tracing a line from right under his left eye to his angled chin. "But we were still missing three. Another hour passed before two more people approached us, one carrying the other. Marluxia was only covered in dust, but Larxene, the person he was carrying, was bleeding from her right leg. Marluxia said it was broken and when he had freed her from under some rubble, she passed out from the pain. He was going to take her to the next town over in any car he could salvage and he would contact us when he got there. So he left with her, and we waited. We waited until night started to fall, then we, too, left for the next town over."
Axel stopped with a sigh, looking away and out the window again, his eyes brimmed with tears. The sun was starting to set and the room was bathed in an orange-ish light. Roxas sniffed slightly, wondering why he was crying, before realizing something.
"What about your other friend? What happened to them?" He asked quietly, wondering if it was the person Axel loved and if he lost that person, or if the person was just another close friend that had died.
"It was you, Roxas. You were the last person that never came, the person that we could never find buried under any of the movable rubble," Axel whispered, turning his green eyes to look into startled blue. The light from the window made his eyes shine and appear a darker green than they really were. It brought out his high cheek bones and angular jaw. It made him look like an angel overcome with sorrow, and it broke Roxas' heart.
"We assumed you were dead, and Sora threw a fit. He screamed and threw things and cried because he thought he lost his only cousin. He thought he lost the only person that knew what he went through as a child, the only person that knew about all of his fears and darkness. He broke, and Riku had to build him back up. We all had to break at one point and have someone build us back up because we lost someone we cared about. Atleast, we thought we lost someone we cared about," Axel said, looking out the window again, not able to hold the intense, confused blue gaze of the blond. "Then somehow, we found out about a boy that lived in Twilight Town that went by the name of Roxas. He had no parents and lived on his own, and he was said to have blond hair and blue eyes. Suddenly, we all started to believe that you had lived and somehow got out of the World that Never Was. Why you had never looked for us, I don't know. But apparently, you've lost all of your memories concerning us."
Roxas didn't understand why Axel looked so crestfallen, or why a tear ran down his cheek. He didn't understand why tears were running down his cheeks, or why his chest hurt so much. He didn't understand why his shoulders started to shake when he couldn't recall any memories earlier than his Twilight Town ones, or why he could suddenly remember waking up with dust everywhere. His mouth started to move of its own accord, and he poured out the earliest memory he could find.
"There was dust in my mouth and my hair, and my head hurt like a bitch. I rolled over and coughed and coughed until blood came up. Only then did I stop, and only then did I realize that I didn't know where I was. I stood up and walked. I walked past all the rubble and bodies lying on the ground, wondering what had happened and why I was there at all. So I continued walking and soon I had walked far enough to get to a hospital. I walked inside, still covered in dust and not able to remember anything. The nurse at the front desk gasped and called for a doctor before rushing to me. Soon there was a small crowd around me whispering and wondering what had happened, and when the doctor asked, I told him I didn't know. All I did know was that I woke up to dust and destruction, and that my name was Roxas. But that was it. Nothing else, not a birth day, a friend, a relative – nothing. My memory was blank, and I collapsed on the spot from exhaustion. When I woke up, I found out I was in Twilight Town and I lived there ever since."
Axel stared at the blond, his mouth a gape and a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Roxas stared at the ground, blinking back tears and tracing a flaw in the wood floor. Neither spoke for the longest time, content to live in their own thoughts because there, they could control everything and nothing could go wrong. There, they could live the life they wanted to live and die happy. There, there was no pain or confusion. There were no tears and there were no disasters that tore people apart. Nothing bad happened there, and they wanted to live there until they were forced to come out and live the life that ruined them.
Axel broke out of his thoughts, wiping the stray tears on his face before speaking to the pensive blond.
"Do you have any more questions?"
The blond was quiet as he continued to stare at the ground and run his fingers over the flaw. Axel briefly thought that he hadn't been heard and was about to repeat his question when the other male spoke.
"Who was I before the explosion?" The question was quiet, hesitant, but so desperate for an answer.
"You," Axel started, looking out the window when blue eyes looked up from the floor. "You were a cousin to a spastic burnet, a best friend to a quiet black haired girl, a straight 'A' student to demanding teachers, and a boyfriend to a very hormonal teenage male. You wanted to be a psychologist for orphans because you knew the pain they went through, and you wanted to help them through it. You were a happy, facetious teenager who enjoyed breaking his boyfriend's cigarettes and making your best friend laugh. You didn't believe in any God, but you believed in an afterlife in which you could meet your parents and spend eternity with the love of your life. You didn't believe in violence associated with no cause, but you believed in war. You fell in love with your boyfriend, but would never admit it to his face because you thought you were the only one who felt that way. And then you were taken because a mad man wanted to blow everyone up. You were taken from the cousin, the best friend, the teachers, and the boyfriend. You were taken from everyone, and you didn't even know they existed," Axel murmured, turning his eyes back to teary blue. "That was who you were, and you are severely missed by the people still around to remember you."
Roxas gasped slightly as he looked down, tears prickling his eyes and his heart breaking to pieces in his chest. He fisted his hand, swallowing past the lump in his throat.
"I'm sorry, Axel," The blond murmured, gasping again as he doubled over slightly. "I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I forgot Sora, Xion, you. I'm sorry I forgot everything. I – I—"
The blond gasped as sobs overcame him, fisting the shirt over his breaking heart and curling in on himself. Axel rose from his chair on the other side of the room, his feet carrying him to stand in front of the sobbing blond. And he got sat down next to him, leaning Roxas back so he could properly pull the smaller boy to his chest. Roxas held fast, pressing his face to the side of the redhead's neck; and Axel pulled the boy into his lap, wrapping his arms around the shaking body of the male he loved to death.
The sun had finally set and the room was drowned in darkness. Axel felt Roxas' trembling slowly stop, and when he felt the arms around his neck loosen and calm breathes brush against the wet skin of his neck, he sighed and relaxed. Roxas had finally broken, after all these years of continuing on like the explosion that ruined everyone's lives had never happened, he had broken. Axel felt horrible for feeling so relieved, but now, now Roxas could finally live again. Axel and Sora could slowly build him back up, and he could finally live like he was supposed to five years ago. He laugh breathlessly as he hugged the sleeping, exhausted boy closer, a few tears escaping his eyes as he gazed at the ceiling.
Roxas was back, and he was never going to leave again.
Thank God.
Months passed since Roxas was reacquainted with his old friends and life. Months passed since Roxas broke and Axel and Sora started to build him back up. Months passed since Roxas decided to live in Hollow Bastion with his cousin and transfer to the college there. Months passed since Roxas started to live again.
Roxas sighed as he closed the door to the apartment he now shared with his boyfriend Axel and his sister Ella. He groaned as he raked a hand through his hair and dropped his messenger bag by his shoes. Rubbing his neck, he walked out of the foyer and into the living room, plopping down onto the couch there. He rubbed his neck a little harder, rolling his small shoulders to try and ease the tension there. Suddenly larger hands touched his, moving them aside and starting to massage the sore muscles in the blond's shoulders.
A slight moan of pleasure passed through his pink lips, his blue eyes closing as he leaned his head back. Warm lips pressed against his in a brief, chaste kiss before pulling back a bit.
"Hello, beautiful. Hard day at college?" The taller boy said, kneading the muscles of his boyfriend's shoulders. Roxas could feel the smile the redhead made and he smiled back.
"Yeah, those midterms are a bitch to do," He murmured, sighing happily when he felt his shoulders start to relax.
Axel hummed, kissing the blond briefly again as he rubbed one muscle particularly hard.
"They tend to be when you major in psychology, Roxy," He said with a chuckle when he felt the other frown.
"Yeah, well. I want to help the little orphans, so I can complain all I want. I'm helping the greater good, unlike you, who is blowing up cars and abandoned warehouses."
"Hey hey, I'm going to help the greater good, too, by learning how to disarm bombs and other junk," Axel retorted, moving to his boyfriend's neck. "I just get to blow up things in the process."
Roxas snorted and grabbed the thin hands rubbing his neck. He brought them around to his face, kissing the palms before weaving his fingers with the others. He opened his blue eyes to see green gazing back in content and adoration, and he smiled as he leaned up to press his lips against the redhead's. Axel hummed into the kiss, deepening it slightly before pulling back. He brushed his lips against the other's cheek, running them down to his thin neck before kissing and nipping at the flesh. The blond gasped deliciously in his ear, squeezing the other's hands as he exposed more flesh. Axel hungrily sucked at the soft flesh, pulling back when he successfully gave his counterpart a hickey. He blew on the wet flesh, the boy beneath him shivering. He nipped at the ear, releasing the other's hands before pulling back entirely. Roxas looked at him with cloudy blue eyes and parted lips, silently knowing what the redhead wanted.
The blond got up off the couch and walked around it to the waiting redhead, and when they got close enough, the taller of the two grabbed the other in his arms and pressed his lips against the fuller ones below him. Roxas grasped at the back of Axel's shirt, turning his head slightly as he parted his lips, the redhead understanding and sliding his tongue into the other's mouth. They pulled each other closer, tangling their tongues more and more before the need for air consumed them. Roxas was the first to pull back, panting and twisting his fingers deeper in the fabric of Axel's tee-shirt. Green eyes opened to gaze at half-lidded blue before he swooped down to claim the bruised lips of the blond.
Somehow they made it to the bedroom, Roxas losing his shirt and belt in the process. Axel continued to kiss him as he walked him backwards, the blond soon falling onto the bed once the backs of his knees hit. Time moved in a blur of limbs and sweat and lips, the two moving together as one until it was over. Both collapsed in a sweaty heap, chests heaving and hands still intertwined. Axel moved his lips to press against Roxas'.
"I love you, Roxas. I love you so much," He murmured against the other's lips, green eyes looking into half-lidded blue.
"I love you, too, Axel. And I'm not afraid to admit it," Roxas said, smiling tiredly at the other and wrapping his arms around the redhead's neck. Axel smiled back, pressing his forehead against the blond's damp spikes and wrapping his arms around the other's back. He pressed a brief, heartfelt kiss against the other's lips before turning them onto their sides, pulling a thin sheet up over their nude, sweaty limbs. The redhead pulled his boyfriend closer, tangling his longer legs in the other pair. The blond sighed, resting his head against his lover's warm chest, savoring the heart that beat for him and only him until the day they both died.
And hopefully there was any afterlife in which the blond could meet his parents and spend eternity in Axel's warm, loving arms. Hopefully all of the friends he had that died would be there, and they would greet the two lovers happily, welcoming them to paradise. Hopefully Hayner, Pence, and Olette would be there, and they would all be amigos again, no longer bitter toward each other and welcoming Roxas with open arms. Hopefully Sora and Riku would make it and be happy together forever, and Kairi would finally find the love of her life and spend eternity in his/her arms. Hopefully Demyx would be there with Zexion, Marluxia with Larxene, Luxord and Xaldin with whoever they chose to give their heart to. Hopefully Saïx was already there, and hopefully he was there with Xemnas, no matter what crime he committed because he didn't deserve to suffer in Hell. No matter what he had done to all the people that had lived in that city, he deserved to be happy, finally and mercifully happy with the one person that loved him to death and hopefully past it. Roxas hoped to any God that would listen, any God that existed that there would be an afterlife in which people could finally be happy for all of eternity.
And even if there wasn't, Roxas was happy to stay in Axel's arms until his dying breath.
Extra A/N: 9/19/10 - I edited this story, taking out the hardcore 'M' part because, well. I love my account on here too much to lose it over something that is so easily remedied. D; So sorry, really. I would love to keep it in, but, as I said before, I love my account too much to lose it. Sooo. You get the edited version now. :D Sorry if you came later than the others who've gotten it all before I got scared and saved my own ass. But, what can you do. I hope you liked it! If you want the unedited version, contact me and I'll email it to you. ;D