A/N: Um, sorry that I haven't updated Cabins for awhile. My mom like...banned me from the 'net unless on weekends 'til school ended. This fic, I guess, is to make up for that. I wrote this fic really late at night and it's pretty dark. This fic contains: Major angst, suggestions of rape, cussing, drug use, child abuse, incest, and suicidal thoughts. Dais and Jun-centric. Basically, Jun searches for her brother during a storm, and as she passes through the rooms of their house, she remembers. R/R please, tell me what you like and don't like. I laugh at flames, btw, so don't bother.
Memories During A Storm
Motomiya Jun woke to a hard rain beating at her windows and an empty bed. She slid out of bed, ignoring the pound of her head and shocks of pain around the new scar on her thigh. There were too many things wrong with this picture for her to count, but she was used to it by now.
She opened her door and stepped into the hall, looking around in the dark. Her parents' bedroom door was open. Neither had come home that night. 'Hmm, figures,' she thought to herself, walking on down the hall.
She walked to her brother's room. It still smelled of urine and other unpleasant things. She did a quick glance-over for her brother, not surprised when he wasn't there. She then went to the dining room and switched the light on. "Daisuke?" she called softly. The tablecloth was sliding off of one end of the table, as if someone had tried to tear it off but didn't have enough strength to do it. Dai had been here. The tablecloth had a circular stain upon it that was crimson red. Her eyes fell upon it, and she remembered it's origin.
~ ~ ~ ~
Ten-year-old Jun cried in a corner of her room. She heard the agonized screams of her little brother as he screamed for her help, a guardian angel, a miracle, anything. He sounded like a dying animal, his shrieks catching in his raw throat and tearing through the stinking air. She stayed put until his screams subsided into heart-wrenching sobs. She heard the front door slam, and then she ran to the dining room as fast as possible. Her brother lay naked on the dining room table. His sobs had subsided into sniffles and slightly labored breathing. He lay curled into the fetal position, a somewhat large red stain under his thighs, half-hidden. "What did he do to you?" she asked, fearing the answer.
He glanced at her briefly before staring forward again. "He hurt me. The same way as before, remember? You saw him that time. He got me so dirty, Jun. Jun, I...I can't move. He slammed so hard...I'm sorry."
"He raped you again? And it made you bleed?"
"This time he did it a whole lot harder. Jun, I can't move my legs, or close them. It hurts so much..."
Tears once again racked him, pouring down his innocent face as he curled up tighter into himself. She crossed the floor and took him into her arms.
"I'll go help you take a bath," she whispered, hoping to sound soothing.
He cringed every time she took a step and it moved him. Then, he curled into her and pressed his head against her chest.
"Jun, it was all my fault. I didn't feed the dog again. he was just mad, that's all. Don't be mad at him."
She lowered him into the bathtub, looking him straight in the eye. "Hey, this was not your fault. You hear that? You did nothing to deserve that."
He smiled weakly as she turned the water on, looking away.
"Jun, thanks for being with me, but you shouldn't lie. I know it was my-"
"Dai, don't-"
"I'm sorry, Jun."
~ ~ ~ ~
She moved into the kitchen now. Lightning streaked the sky and flashed through the window, lighting the room up. "Dai?" She looked towards the knife-holder, and sighed in relief when the knives were all there, clean and spotless. She looked over the counter, running a hand over the smooth tile.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Give me your lighter, Dai."
Her little brother handed it to Jun, his eyes only slightly red from the weed he had been smoking for some time now. Jun lit hers up and shut the lighter. She lowered the rolled-up paper and shut her eyes, exhaling deeply. Her legs hung off of the counter, dangling, occasionally banging against the cupboard below her.
Daisuke had his legs folded up against his chest, his arms around his legs, staring at the blank wall, seated on the counter beside his sister. She was sixteen, he was thirteen.
He stared off into space for another five minutes, and then broke the silence.
"If you ever had to commit suicide, what would you do? I mean, how would you do it?"
Jun was not alarmed by his question. She knew if her brother were thinking about committing suicide, he would just tell her and not beat around the bush.
That way, they could do it together and save themselves the grief of one living without the other.
"Probably just shoot myself. Get it over with. Nothing too complicated. You?"
He thought awhile, and she just grinned. She already knew the answer.
"I'd hang myself, with the nearest rope-like thing I could find. Maybe knit a noose in Home Ec., so it could at least have some meaning."
Her brother always had a thing for hanging and nooses and such.
"How about a really old guy's dick?"
He grinned at her. "Ew?"
She laughed.
"What about Spider-Man's sticky string shit?"
"Hmm, good one."
"You ever notice that shit looks like cum?"
"Maybe Spidey masturbates and saves it to attack people with?"
"Yeah, but why shoot it out of his hands? He has a perfectly good other shooter."
"Maybe he's poorly endowed?"
"Maybe."
They sat in silence again. Jun looked at Dai's newest bruise-a circle shape on his right arm.
"When'd you get that?" She pointed at it.
He glanced at it, then shrugged. "About three days ago? Four? Dad hit me again."
"Reason?"
"Forgot to throw the trash out again."
"Lame."
He shrugged again, lighting up again.
More silence ensued.
"Spider Man poorly endowed. Haha, just imagined it."
"Oiy, Dai..."
~ ~ ~ ~
Jun moved past the kitchen and into the living room. The couch had pillows strewn about. Dai had been here, too. She fixed the pillows, and as she did, she was flooded with yet another memory.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Dai!" Jun gasped, clutching at his back. He braced his arms against the back of the couch as he continued his rhythm, moving into her. He grunted as Jun clenched her legs harder around his waist. Their ragged breathing and occasional moans were the only sound in the room. Soon, Jun dug her nails into his back and screamed his name as he stifled his own exaltation of pleasure by biting down on her shoulder. He lay over her for awhile, both of them fighting to control their harsh breathing again. He lapped at the blood seeping from the bite mark on her shoulder. He rolled off of her, laying against a pillow, eyes closed. Soon, he felt his older sister move to lay against his side, and he opened his eyes to accept a kiss. She deepened the kiss and he complied, running his tongue over the surface of hers. Then, the front door swung open. Their parents entered. Her father looked from the mess on the couch to the pair tangled in each others arms, completely naked. The room still smelled of sex, and Jun suddenly felt ashamed.
"Dad, it isn't what it looks like."
'Uh, wrong thing to say,' she thought.
Their mother only rolled her eyes and went to the bedroom to avoid hearing or seeing too much of the sure-to-come onslaught.
Their father strode forward and grabbed Daisuke's arm, yanking him off of the sofa and down the hall to the kitchen.
"Dad!" his voice squeaked pitifully.
His father sat the boy on the counter. The cold tile on his bare flesh made him cringe. His father returned to him holding a knife. Jun ran into the room, with Daisuke's shirt on, which fit her long and too big. She flung herself at her father. "No!" she shrieked.
He grabbed her arm and threw her into the wall. Her head hit first and she lay on the hard floor, barely able to see clearly the figures of her evil father and beloved brother.
"Dai," she whispered.
Her father positioned the knife so that it was pointing in between Daisuke's legs.
"Do I have to cut something off, so that you never corrupt another with your filthiness?"
Daisuke shook his head quickly, visibly shrinking back from the knife.
He moved his hand to cover himself, as if in defense.
"Don't touch yourself!" his father shrieked. He looked disgusted and shook his head. "Who knows where that's been?"
Daisuke shrank back farther against the wall, his arms now at his sides, his eyes shut and head turned to the side. Slowly, his father put the knife away. He returned to his son's side, leaning in and growling, "You aren't even worth it, you sick sonofabitch piece of shit."
He then left the room. Jun scrambled up and ran to her brother's side, sobbing and holding him. He was shivering violently. "I can't stand it anymore, Jun. I just can't. I'll start on that noose right away. Anything but this. Anything but what I have now."
Jun shook her head. "Just hold on a little longer. Just wait, okay? Not yet, we won't let him get us yet."
He nodded, but sobbed against her.
"It's okay," she reassured him half-heartedly, "everything will turn out okay, just wait."
~ ~ ~ ~
Things didn't work out okay, of course. The abuse didn't stop. Neither did the rape, cursing, fighting, and, of course, the drugs and sex that were all that kept them both feeling alive. Daisuke "attempted suicide" three times, but all three were on the same wrist, slit across, the wrong way. She knew he didn't want to die. She knew he didn't mean to, either. He just felt the need to bleed it all out sometimes. He just felt the need to bleed the problems, suffering, hate, anger, and depression out. Then he would be a step closer to sanity. Or insanity. Either way, it was a step further from where he was before, and that was enough for him. As long as he didn't start knitting a noose, she didn't worry about him. he knew what he was doing.
She stepped outside of the house and left the front door open. She stared out at the pounding rain. The smell of raindrops filled her nostrils, and she closed her eyes, remembering the last time she smelled this smell. It was four months ago.
~ ~ ~ ~
There was no party. No celebration. Not even his friends called him. Daisuke and Jun had a little party of their own; a little drugs and sex never hurt anyone. Soon, they retreated to the comfort of a blanket, pillow, and a warm bed. Jun fell asleep, holding her beloved close to her. She woke once, due to a crash of thunder outside. She didn't know where the storm had come from, but, boy, was it noisy. She sighed and looked down at Dai. The cord of his headphones had wrapped around his neck at some point during the night, looking like a slick black noose around his neck. She gently untangled him from the headphones and placed the cd player on the bedside table. She ran a hand back through his reddish brown hair and kissed his forehead. "Happy sixteenth birthday, Dai."
~ ~ ~ ~
She stepped forward into the rain, looking around for her brother. "Dai!" she screamed against the pounding of the rain. There was no answering call. She turned to go back inside when she heard a faint yell.
"Jun, up here!"
The yell had come from the roof. She hastily climbed the gate against the side of the house and climbed onto the roof, sliding towards her brother. He lay, arms and legs spread out in a star shape, completely naked, and soaking wet.
"What are you doing?"
He looked at her and genuinely smiled.
"Watching my life replay itself in slow motion."
She didn't bother to tell him she had been doing the same. She merely laid down next to him, staring up at the black sky.
"How long you been up here?"
"About two hours."
The rain became a light shower as they waited in silence. The shower soon altogether stopped.
The watched as the stars in the sky faded to give way to dawn, both enjoying the comforting silence of two who don't need petty words to communicate.
After another while, Jun felt the need to ask her brother a question.
"Dai, why did you slash your wrists the wrong way three times? Why not just practice self-mutilation?"
Daisuke thought a while, then turned to her, smiling as the sun warmed their bodies and once again illuminated his usually dead eyes into something indescribable.
"I needed the storm to pass, so I rushed it along a little."
Jun smiled. "Did you really need to?"
Daisuke slowly shook his head and sighed, folding his arms behind his head.
"The dawn was coming eventually anyways."
~owari~
A/N: Yeah, the ending sucked. I didn't expect it to be something great anyways. I noticed the lack of Junsuke fanfics out there and felt the need to write one, because these two are bashed way too much and I love them both. Flames will be fed to dear Draco the dragon, so don't bother. R/R please.