***Hey all this is my story. Sometimes the deepest of thoughts work themselves out when you're going to sleep. Especially between brothers.*****

BUNKING DOWN

-BUNK MATES-

"Ya sleepin'?" He asked his voice in a rough whisper.

"Yup." Daryl tried to keep the smirk out of his answer.

"No ya aint, ya whelp. Ya never sleep. I aint been gone so long to forget that." He laughed softly.

"Then why ya askin'?"

Merle was quiet for a while, his eyes staring at the bunk above him. "Was always you askin' when we were kids." He said matter of factly, he lowered his voice a few octaves, "Merle, you up ? You up Merle?" He said imitating his brother when he had been younger. "Never let me get any goddamn sleep."

Daryl rolled to his side, "Well, ya coulda fuckin' answered then, instead of always pissin' off." He remembered all those nights too. Better'n Merle did, that's for damn sure. Laying in his bunk, eyes open, blanket over his head listening to one of two things….dead silence or lumbering footsteps. Never really knowing which one scared him more… Always knowing his goddamn brother was awake, but not payin' him any mind.

Merle laughed again softly, "Oooh Lordy Lord, you still got your panties in a bunch about havin' to grow up with ol' Merle don't ya Darylina?"

Daryl took a deep breath, and let it out slow. Why the fuck did his brother have to always bring shit up ? Always. There wasn't one goddamn minute that he could let silence go between them. It was a fucking wonder that he'd even put a second's worth of effort into bringing that yapping bastard back.

"Ya were a shit brother Merle." He said softly, "Now let me sleep."

Merle let out a long soundless whistle. "Now ya gotta sleep ? Spent the first what….fifteen years of ya life keeping my ass up, an now ya gotta sleep."

"It weren't no fifteen years." Daryl grumbled under his breath, "Ya left much sooner an….aw fuck." The minute those words were out he wished he could take them back. That goddamn bastard could bait him no matter what.

"Ahhhh, I gotcha, ya little whelp." Merle laughed. "Jesus, just as easy ta bait ya as it's always been. Some things never change."

"Ya, they fuckin' do Merle." He spit out. "Things change all the fuckin' time. And I got no interest in having some bullshit brother ta brother….bullshit."

Merle paused for a moment and shut his eyes. He readjusted that stump behind his head. Thing was uncomfortable as all hell, even for something as thoughtless as sleeping. Wasn't it just like fucking Daryl, he scoffed, always thinking everything was done to him. Shit wasn't always about him, goddamn it. Sometimes life just got a little bit more….complicated…then being just about him.

"Did ya ever think," he started, not giving a shit that Daryl didn't wanna listen…he wanted to talk. "…That maybe I had to get outa there too. That ever cross ya fuckin' mind baby brother."

"Fuck you." Daryl shut his eyes and pulled the blanket higher. He was not gonna do this with Merle.

"Ya think that bastard wasn't doin' the same shit ta me that he was doin' ta you?" he growled. "Ya think I didn't take enough beatings for you? For fuckin' ma?"

Daryl didn't say a word. He closed his eyes tighter, and held his breath. He felt that old familiar sense of hard, heavy, thick dread he felt almost every night as a kid. And like most nights, he fought to push it out of his head.

He wanted Merle to shut the fuck up. But his brother….he never stopped pushing, never stopped yapping.

"Well I did." Merle continued. "I took plenty of beatings baby brother…an I had a chance ta get out an I took it….can't fault me for that. Wasn't gonna take some shit job in that shit town an' try to raise ya. Real life aint no fuckin' feel good TV show." He kept rambling. "I wanted ta have my own life….away from… all that shit."

"Pfft, the army worked out real good fer ya." Daryl scoffed. "Got a real good life outta that one huh?"

Merle chuckled to himself. That had been a fucking disaster. He'd gone from taking orders from one son of a bitch right to another. And in the army, it seemed like they hated red neck, white trash even more than the rest of the world did. He'd spent three years being' referred to as a "white trash hillbilly piece of shit". Seemed his size and attitude was nuthin' they hadn't seen before and all they wanted to do was break him. Well, there was something they didn't know about Merle Dixon, he couldn't be broken.

If a drunken, abusive piece of shit father, and a dead mother, and a whaling baby brother couldn't break him, the goddamn army sure as hell wasn't gonna. He'd rather take his chances on the outside. Shit, he thought he'd be jumping outa planes, and running through the jungle shooting' chinks with an M16, not scrubbing toilets on his hands and knees. Could do that shit at home, for his brother…instead of twenty other assholes he didn't even know from nobody. Yeah, he could be doin' that shit for his brother he had thought….stead of leaving him home with that bastard.

And he had come back home. Daryl didn't seem to remember that. Never remembered that.

"Came back didn't I?" He finally said.

Daryl grumbled something in the dark and rolled over again.

"Ya got somethin' to say Darylina?" Merle challenged, "ya can't always just keep ya mouth shut an' think everyone's gonna know what's goin' on in that thick head of yers."

Daryl shook his head in anger. He knew Merle, and he was pushing' buttons, and he wouldn't stop, just like he never stopped till he got what he goddamn wanted. Never mattered none to him what anyone else might ever want or fucking think.

"I got nuthin' ta say Merle…cept ya came home worst then ya were when ya left. Came back a goddamn crack head. Pissing the ol' man off even worse than he was before. Leaving ya fuckin' trash and ya whores all over the dammed house. Stuck me takin' care of everything….an I didn' need ta be doin' that…had enough of my own shit…."

"Oh," Merle cut him off. "Like I needed to be takin care of you, when you was born." He shook his head and whistled again. "You so in ya goddamn head, ya never think outside it. Ya think I needed …a baby brother when I was ten years old. Like I didn't have enough ta do? T'ween dodging' the old man's fist and ma being drunk all the time…was real nice to have a new baby round."

"Fuck you." Daryl mumbled.

"No," Merle hit the post on the side of the bed. "Fuck you."

They were silent, listening to the sounds of the prison. Someone's soft snores in the distance, the wind outside, and an echoing low moan….a constant trickle…Daryl called it "Chinese water torture." No matter how much they had looked they could not find the source. Those were their sounds now…they called it silence.

After a while Daryl could hear Merle's breath's even out and he thought he might have fallen asleep. Aint that like him he thought, just the same as always…get my ass riled up and then drift off like it were nuthin. Goddamn, why, the hell did he even bring him back.

He waited a few more minutes, fuck…he couldn't help himself. "Merle," he called out in a whisper, "Merle ya up?"

Merle, shook his head, and chuckled slightly. "Nope."

"Asshole." Daryl whispered, as he felt the bed shake softly from Merle's hushed laughter below him. "Didn't' know I fucked ya whole life up." He said quietly.

"Oh Jesus Christ Darylina, ya didn't fuck nuthin' up worst then it woulda been…jus' made it harder that's all." Merle grumbled. "Stop being such a goddamn pussy!"

"Pfft," Daryl scoffed, "aint no pussy…just sayin'…"

"Well," Merle rolled over and tried to do somethin' with that damn stump, "stop sayin' and start sleepin'. Keepin' my ass up."

Daryl shook his head and rolled over again. He was wide awake. Thinkin' about all his life…every last bit… shit that would keep him up for hours, days, years. He regretted his damn stupid ass decision to bunk down in here with Merle.

Hadn't seen his brother in months…didn't mean he had to sleep with him.

But with Glenn and Rick…Jesus with hot heads on all sides it had seemed to be the safest way…the only way. He wasn't gonna lock his own brother up again…no fucking way, no how, no matter what anyone said. Last time that shit cost Merle his hand…and in the end…that was the cause of all this shit, the cause of ALL of it. Ya lose your hand like that…there's no forgiving.

But shit, now…now he was up and Merle was here and his brain was thinking shit it hadn't thought in months, years even. Didn't need to be thinking anymore about anything. As if the end of the fucking world wasn't enough to have on your mind.

Below him Merle rustled once again, and yawned. "Night brother." He rasped out softly.

"Night Merle," he said, his eyes wide open.

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