Title: As We Froze

Author: Aria Delanc

Summary: Lyserg is tired of snow.

Rating: K

Pairings: HaoLyserg

Disclaimer: D:

Notes: This is Lyserg's birthday fic.

Yes, two months early.

I know I should be doing "nice" for him, but this is how I show affection. So. Happy Birthday, Lyserg. You are now 12, as you always have been. Written to Violet Hill by Coldplay.

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March 17

A boy, barely seventeen, sat in snow. He could see the lit windows of the House in the distance. For four months, he'd been walking through snow. He was tired. Taking steps without knowing how deep they would sink. And the cold would seep in and take over, completely. Lyserg was tired of snow. But it was always snowing.

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December 12

We stand in the light of the House. It's dim, because it always is. The sky is gray and apathetic and dumps snows on everything. But it's remarkable. Where I am, it's like it isn't snowing at all. But really, I'm just in your arms. You tell me I'm beautiful against white. I bite back my disagreement.

They're leering at you from the windows. No matter if we freeze out here; you're leaving, and they'll rejoice when I tell them so. We both know that.

Be careful, I whisper. But I know that's just now how it works.

I'll be more worried about you, you say. You caress my cheek. Please stay safe.

I don't understand this much; I'm not the one on my way to suicide. I want to beg you to pull away from what you are about to do. But instead, I nod for you and put on a sad smile. I love you.

I love you too. And you go.

---

January 29

It is still snowing.

There are guns where you are. There are guns right here. There is suffering there and here as well. It seems we're both fighting wars, Hao.

I can't stand the Family. Marco, especially. I can't bear to listen to him talk about you. And I can't stand going to the Church. The ceremonies are all so dirty. They're all rotting. It's all so wrong. Abusing their power and still, so self-righteous. Marco has been violent.

I have no way of knowing if you've read any of my letters because I haven't received any back. I don't believe you're gone because I can't. I continue to write because you promised you would write back.

I will always be waiting for you, Hao. Please be safe.

I love you.

Lyserg

---

February 5

Snowing.

Marco beat me today. But please don't worry. He was irritated at my faith in you. I swore at him and screamed. But I wear these wounds proudly. I've held up believing that you are fine. I've been watching the news, and I know things aren't going well.

You are not for war, Hao. You're too gentle, despite what you may say (and I know you will say otherwise.) They will send you back to me, I know.

Much love,

Lyserg

---

March 2

I feel so selfish, Hao, like I've betrayed you. I'm so sorry. I can't help but feel you've left me. So this rope I'm holding, that binds me to you... It's slipping, Hao.

It is snowing, still, and I love you, still.

Lyserg

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March 13

Everything went wrong.

I trudged through the snow. I broke into a run. You took me here, once. You brought me here to tell me that you would be there always, just so I knew.

Where are you?

(But I know.)

The letter said...

("...killed in action...")

But you couldn't... have... you couldn't...

I can't make a sound. I just can't.

You said.

You said you would let me know.

You said so. Because you loved me.

Won't you? I love you, still.

(It's so cold.)

(I'm tired of snow.)

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Wow. Uh.

This is also my twentieth fic. So. Alchohol? y/y?

Review, please. (NOT YOU, LILEC. THIS IS YOUR GRAD GIFT FROM ME. :D No srsly. Don't review.)