Title: Some
Choose, Some Inherit, Others Create
Author's
notes: Written for narutowishlist.
Pairing(s): InoShikaChou
Warning(s): None really.
Genre(s): Angst,
General
Rating: PG-13
Word
Length: 1,103.
Description: Shikamaru following Asuma's death, and how Ino & Chouji keep an
eye on him.
xxx
Loss
Shikamaru is haunted by Asuma's last words. Chouji can tell in the lazy trail of smoke that floats upwards in direct contrast to the shadow tendrils Shikamaru exerts a force over. Ino can tell in the way he slurs his speech, a thoughtful chewing of the mouth over words that are thrown out, holding an aura of authority he doesn't quite bear the burden of years for.
When he bows low to the ground, an affectation borrowed from broken gasps sputtered by a guttering flame, he can almost bring back to bear the shape of Asuma, dignified on a battlefield. They see it in the way his feet settle firmly into the ground, rather than the light step of a Nara man.
They don't like it.
Ino is the first to mention it, sideways, ignoring Chouji's hurried swallowing to counteract. "Shika – when are we going to play Shogi?" and Shikamaru knows what she means because the girl has less of a clue about Shogi. Hers is a world of long hair and flowers; she is too fragile to know the meaning, the all-important meaning of the King and why sacrifice is all about giving in return for hollow honour.
He'll honour Asuma, with every breath.
"Play Chouji – he can teach you." Shikamaru drawls instead, neatly sidestepping, and it would be neat, if only they didn't recognize it for what it is, a ploy to deceive, to keep his reasons buried.
Chouji is quiet. He knows that there are some things that take time, which will not heal overnight, even with the best of intentions. That is just how life goes, and he'll be here far beyond that time, here when Shikamaru asks him to go cloud-watching once more. This is not somewhere he can help – so he helps by staying out of it.
xxx
When Shikamaru returns home, he locks the door behind him. In his mind is the face of Kurenai, her collapsed form at his feet, him unsure and left unsteady. Reeling from the shock and the fact that perhaps, happiness is not something worth reaching out for if it could come down to this.
He knows what he is doing. He knows that he isn't being reasonable, but grief, and related aren't there to be sensible….
The light is still on, which he finds puzzling. Pressing forward, he enters the living room, eyes flickering onto his mother, cup of green tea in hand, sitting at the table. She doesn't acknowledge him, instead rising to put the cup away. Shikamaru slumps against the doorway, a tell-tale sign of fatigue. Too many thoughts, and the burdens are sapping his strength. He needs sleep and he finds himself willing – for no good reason – finds himself wanting to stay awake, needing to. As if monsters come at night. His mother smiles at him, suddenly close – she moved – enveloping him in a hug he hasn't had in years.
He keeps the tears at bay.
Endgame
When Tsunade stops them at the gate, the situation has changed slightly. Ino knows this, knows it in the way Shikamaru is in deep control of the situation, in the way he smiles lightly at her, a quirk of the lips that is meant to reassure. It works, and suddenly he reminds her of days long past, them stretched out under the sky while she composed bouquets in her mind.
Kakashi's offer surprises – Chouji sees Shikamaru's reaction, taking his cue from that, standing their ground and holding out for more. He will be the rock that casts Shikamaru's shadow; he'll be the rock to shelter Ino when she takes off into other minds.
Shikamaru does not see all of this, does not see how they step behind him to motivate & support. He sees himself only as the glue, as the tool that will bind them together and get them out in one piece – alive, most importantly.
And they know how he feels, knowing that their lives are in his hands they feel safe – but he does not realize that his life is in theirs, wrapped tenderly in ribbon and preserved in honey.
xxx
"You have a plan, right son?" Shikaku asked tentatively, screen door scraping insistently against the grain of the wood.
"Of course." Fingers steepled, sitting on the porch late at night with a shougi board, Shikamaru looked as composed as in any battle situation.
"Good." He turned back, paused, and turned around again. "Don't take ill-advised risks. You're all my children." He murmured the last part, turning back into the void of darkness.
Shikamaru frowns.
A knight to
the king
The mission is half a success. One dead body and the other injured but loose on the run and under pursuit. This does not interest Shikamaru, what interests him is the way in which Ino's hip bone juts out of her body, skin taut over it – he's suddenly hyper-sensitive to her presence, the slow curve of her body. And Chouji, he can feel the warmth, the strength at his back, the spine firm and falling to steady ground on the legs of a mountain.
"You know… we are our father's children." Shikamaru gasps out, laughing. It hurts, a fractured rib pushing awkwardly onto his lung. They ignore him. Kakashi has almost but not quite abandoned them for team seven trailing behind. Shikamaru isn't even thinking about Naruto's display of power, or Sakura's healing abilities – he can't think of the open gash healed by her down Chouji's thigh, or Ino protected while vulnerable by Chouji while he himself provided a distraction. All he can think of is his father's words, and Asuma's words, and that they are a unit missing a captain, unable to steal all four liberties of a pawn captured in their perfect three-person team, but safe in the knowledge that it is near suicide to walk into them unaware.
But they are more than a unit. He knows that now. They are the reason Asuma died, they are the reason why Hokages' exist, and Shikamaru knows he would rather be the knight, moving erratically than the Hokage shielded behind tower blocks. Because he has something to protect and he knows he wants, needs to be on the frontlines.
He'll be a knight to the king.
Shikamaru gets out the packet of cigarettes. He lights the last one, taking a long drag, he exhales.
"The last one, I promise." He says, sucking quickly. He sees the relaxation in their faces.
Chouji breaks his silence. "Glad to have you back."
Ino gives him the brightest smile.
Shikamaru extinguishes the cigarette, settling old scores with a flick of the hand.
end.
R&R welcomed.