Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Set between Doomsday and The Stolen Earth.
They're discussing the dimension cannon project. Or not discussing it, per se.
Rose knows her mother hadn't been pleased to find out just what "top secret" assignment her daughter had been working on all these months (and even less pleased when he found out that Pete had conspired to keep it from her as well), but she had understood the necessity of it, the gravity of the situation that they – the whole world – had suddenly found themselves in. Even if she hadn't particularly liked it.
But it's not as simple as that. There are things they have to talk about, potentials and what-ifs that need to be addressed just in case they become realities. Or eventualities.
"You know what's going to happen, right?" Rose says softly, her hands clutching the steaming mug of tea before her.
Jackie doesn't say anything, finishes blowing gently on her own mug. "If you find 'im, you mean?"
"When I find him, Mum. When I find him."
Not finding the Doctor isn't an option anymore. Used to be, he was a dream she chased, an ever present idea tickling at the back of her mind, a hope she couldn't quite give up on. But then the stars started going out and everything changed. It was no longer IF the dimension cannon theory will work, but WHEN will the dimension cannon work. No more Rose MIGHT find her Doctor again, but Rose HAS to find her Doctor again, for the sake of us all.
"Sorry, sweetheart," Jackie sips at her tea and raises her eyes to her daughter's face. "When you find 'im."
"But you know, right?" Rose presses.
"Of course I know!" Jackie snaps suddenly, her voice loud and thick with feeling. "What do you want me to say, Rose? It's not like I'm happy about it."
"I don't want to hurt you, Mum," Rose reaches her hands out across the table. "You've got to believe me."
"I do, love," Jackie takes her hands without hesitation, squeezing them tight. "But don't pretend that this is an easy thing for me to face."
"It's just…" she trails off, unable to find the words. What words could she even say? It's an impossible choice, leaving her family and letting go of the man she loves, but a many times as she has weighed the options, she always chooses the Doctor. It breaks her heart and makes her slightly panicky to think about leaving her mum, about letting go of her Dad once more, of never seeing Tony grow up, but neither can she fathom seeing the Doctor again and allowing him to leave her behind.
"You don't have to explain it to me," Jackie says suddenly. "I know you love him."
With a start, Rose's eyes snap up to her mother's and she doesn't see condemnation there, or resignation or pity. She sees understanding.
"I've always known; think in some ways I knew before you did. You've always loved that daft alien, even when he had big ears. But I know that you belong with him," Jackie reaches out, cups her daughter's chin in her hand. "I knew it the first day you came back. There was something so alive about you, something I'd never seen before. You were so much different, so not my Rose and I was scared. I didn't know what he had done to you and I wanted to keep you from him, keep you safe with me.
"But I know now. The Doctor gave you something I could never give you — a chance to have a life beyond the Estate, beyond England, beyond the planet, even. I didn't want to let you go, but I knew you needed it. And then, even when he tried to send you back, you fought so hard, love. I even borrowed a barmy earth mover to help you get back to 'im!"
Jackie pulls back, arms flung wide in a sweeping gesture, and Rose laughs despite her gathering tears and tightening throat.
"So that's how I know. I am going to miss you, Rose. You're my daughter and I can't imagine living my life without you, but I know, I know that you're making the right decision… All I'm saying is I understand, Rose. I know you are going to choose the Doctor. And I am telling you in no uncertain terms that It. Is. Okay."
With those words, her admission, permission, absolution, Rose breaks down. She has been carrying this worry, this fear that her mother would not understand for so long now, that the sudden absence of it is overwhelming. She doesn't know how it happens, but all of a sudden she is in her mother's arms, being rocked like a child, feeling soft hands in her hair and waxy lipstick kisses at her temple, hearing the soft calming tones of her mother's voice soothing her, telling her she understands, she knows, it's okay.
When her sobs begin to quiet, Jackie takes her face in her hands and brushes her tears away just as tenderly as she ever did.
"You're… You're not mad?" Rose hiccups. "I thought you'd be furious with me…"
"Of course I'm not mad! Sweetheart, how can I be mad at you when I made the same choice? I followed Pete here, didn't I?"
Rose shakes her head. "That's different. I was with you a-and…"
"You were," Jackie interrupts gently. "But I left everyone else behind. Your aunts, your cousins, my friends… I made a choice. I made a life here. You can choose whatever life you want."
"But…"
"No buts. You listen to me, Rose Tyler," she says, using her most serious mum voice, although it's diminished a bit by the tears glistening in her own eyes. "All I have ever wanted for you in this life is to be happy, and the Doctor makes you happy - happier than you've ever been here. So go. Go and don't look back. Be my beautiful, brave girl. I love you, Rose. That's not ever going to change. No matter what universe you're in, you'll always be my daughter."
This time it is Rose who crushes her mother in an embrace, holding tightly to this woman, this amazing woman who has never let her down and she is certain never will. "I love you too, Mum."