Title: Homeless Heart
Author: OneShotWonderment (aka. lt-sp)
Pairing: (implied) Lucy/Tumnus
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie
Summary:
Only childhood dreams and desperate love could keep hope alive.
Notes:
So, I was watch Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie and ended up dying for Tumnus to come crawling out of the woodwork and happiness abounds, but ugh…yeah. So I wrote this to stabilize my inner Lucy/Tumnus shipper and yes, that's what the LT in my livejournal username stands for. Also, there's no beta for this little thing.
Lucy's heart shattered into a million pieces at Aslan's words. She had known it was coming, of course; she and Edmund were rapidly approaching what Susan had in private frequently called "the cut off age of Narnia." She had suspected, from the moment her head emerged from that blue water, that this would be their last visit to Narnia. Knowing however did not stop the hurt that Aslan's words brought down upon her.
Narnia was her home, her true home, in a way that not even her siblings would ever truly understand. The moment she first arrived in those snow-covered woods oh so very long ago she had felt at peace. It was as though she had finally found the place she belonged.
Susan, Peter, and Edmund, they didn't feel that sense of belonging…at least not as strongly as she did. Susan was quick to readjust to their normal lives; in fact, she thrived in her normal life. Peter suffered some sadness when he discovered that he lacked the power to make changes for the greater good as he once had in Narnia, but he soon found that one didn't need to be a king to do what was right and he too found his place in their world. Edmund struggled, like Peter, with adjusting to a lack of power over his own life and through his sadness, the youngest Pevensie children formed a stronger sibling bond. Yet, Edmund still did not suffer the way Lucy did.
For Lucy, every day spent in their normal lives was wasted time and she itched with her desire to be in Narnia again. Every conversation she had with anyone beside her siblings was stilted and forced. Every night she dreamed of climbing through that long ago misplaced wardrobe and finding home again. She didn't belong in her normal life and she never would.
Lucy Pevensie belonged in Narnia.
However, that was not the sole reason for the pain Lucy now suffered as she stood in front of that giant wave with her brother, her cousin, and her dear friends.
No, Lucy's sorrows stemmed from regret. She regretted ever following that damn stag out of Narnia the first time. If they had never followed it, they never would have left, and Lucy never would have parted with her dearest friend. She dreamt of him every night, sometimes she even heard his voice in her ear keeping her from falling apart in the so-called normal world. With a hope that only childhood dreams and love could truly keep alive, Lucy entered Narnia both times after desperately hoping to see Tumnus again.
She had thought, after arriving at Narnia for her second time and discovering the fawn had long since passed, that she would giving up hoping. Yet, when that painting began moving and water began pouring into her and Edmund's shared bedroom, she had dared to hope again; hoped that maybe this time they would land back before they had originally left or just slightly after. Her hopes were dashed upon the sight of Prince Caspian; she was glad to see him, of course, but he was proof positive that she would not find Tumnus in Narnia on this journey either.
Now, she was out of chances to find Tumnus again and tell him what she had always wanted to. Now, she was being exiled back to their normal time with no escape from the pain of that except her memories and her dreams.
Lucy considered arguing with Aslan or begging Caspian to let her stay, but kept her mouth shut. After all, without Tumnus, Narnia would never truly be her home again and she would rather the hard sharp pain of her normal life to the empty hollow agony of this Narnia. Therefore, without a word more, Lucy stepped forward with Edmund and Eustace and left Narnia for the last time.
Now, Lucy Pensive was simply a girl without a home.