"Ah, this is the life!"

Kagome snuggled her face into her pillow and deeply inhaled the relaxing aroma of the chamomile-scented candle she had lit.

As much as she enjoyed her new friends from the past, at times she longed for modern amenities like beds in place of floor mats, and hot water plumbing in place of hot springs (who knows what could be swimming around in those!)

Kagome breathed vigorously, taking in the scent and calming herself down from all of the danger she had been in earlier that week—and earlier today. Fleeting images of Inuyasha and their companions frequently interrupted her calm. Faces circled around and around over a black background. Inuyasha pouting, Shippo grinning, Miroku feigning innocence, and Sango narrowing her eyes with suspicion at Miroku.

Kagome sighed in slight frustration, but then smiled. She would not have it any other way. She had grown very attached to her friends from the past, more so than she was with friends from her own time. Her current friends, as she had been, were too sheltered and superficial. Their lives weren't in danger on a daily basis, so they were free to discuss boys and difficult math tests.

It was not their fault, but Kagome had matured and they would not be able to catch up with her. Kagome surprised herself as she suddenly thought of Kikyo. Kikyo, whose young life was cut short long before Naraku's malicious scheme. Kikyo's youth, Kagome realized, was interrupted by her obligation to the Shikon jewel. In that life, she was destined to be isolated and alone, until Inuyasha came along. Her death by Naraku's manipulations ruined her chance to be free, but her reincarnation would live the life she could have had.

Kagome's eyes saddened. She understood Kikyo's pain, she really did—but what was she to do? Kagome didn't want to give up Inuyasha or her adventures in the feudal era. Besides, even if she did, it wouldn't bring Kikyo back to life for real. As long as she was the walking dead, Kikyo could not be with Inuyasha in that lifetime, as Kaede had explained to her older sister the day she was resurrected.

Giving up on a peaceful night's sleep, Kagome sat up in her bed with her knees drawn up to her chin. As much as she tried to claim her own identity and insist on not being compared to Kikyo, Kagome couldn't help but wonder if she owed it to Kikyo to continue on with Inuyasha to give her spirit the life it longed for. Whether or not Kikyo liked her, Kagome was born of her essence.

Kagome sighed. It frustrated her that she had no choice in the matter. She didn't want to be Kikyo's reincarnation. She wanted to be Kagome, and nobody else.

Images of the moments she spied on Inuyasha and Kikyo played in Kagome's mind, as did the moments in which Kikyo mistreated her. She had even brought Kikyo back to life—if one could call it that—but the priestess, dissatisfied with Kagome's reason for doing so, didn't thank her.

Kagome's eyes began to tear with the remembrance of that day. Does it matter why she revived Kikyo? The fact is, she did, and a thank you would have sufficed. Kagome regretted saying that she helped Kikyo simply because she believed she was the only who could, but that doesn't mean that she didn't care. Did she?

Kagome frowned. At one point, she had wished that Kikyo would just disappear, but regretted that thought because she knew it would hurt Inuyasha. It wasn't fair, though, that Kikyo attempted to kill her, but as soon as she wishes for Kikyo to r.i.p., she has to check herself.

Kagome gripped her pink comforter in her hands, seething with anger.

"I will not let Kikyo, or anybody else for that matter, make a fool of me ever again," she vowed, the tears now coursing down her cheeks.

Kagome curled into the fetal position and sobbed herself to sleep.

What do you want, monk?" Inuyasha growled testily.

Inuyasha's back was facing Miroku as he sat overlooking a riverbank.

"You've been distant ever since Kagome left," Miroku said patiently.

Inuyasha huffed.

"You miss her," Miroku said matter-of-factly.

"Heh," Inuyasha huffed again. "I don't care, it's just, well...she's always around, so when she's gone it just feels weird, ya know?"

Miroku nodded.

"Perhaps while she's gone you should do some thinking about your, uh, commitment issues," said Miroku, his eyes flashing mischievously.

"I don't have commitment issues!" Inuyasha hissed, trying to keep his voice low so that Sango or Shippo wouldn't overhear.

Sango and Shippo were staring curiously over at the two young men from several feet away by a campfire.

"Kagome seems to think otherwise."

"Well, then she's the one who has issues," Inuyasha insisted. "I told her that I choose Kikyo, and she decided to stick with me anyway, so it's her own fault if she gets hurt!"

Miroku frowned. "You know what kind of girl Kagome is. She didn't just stay because of you—she feels obligated to help recover the jewel shards, since she was the one who broke it in the first place. And what about Shippo, Sango and, dare I say it, me? She doesn't want to leave her friends, either."

"She's got friends in her own time," Inuyasha snapped, crossing his arms.

Miroku sighed. "You're hopeless," he said with a shake of his head.

He turned to walk back to the campfire, but not before bopping Inuyasha on the head with his staff.

"Ow, damn it, Miroku, what was that for!" Inuyasha snarled.

"Well, since Kagome's not here to 'sit' you, I decided to 'stick' you instead," Miroku said smugly, grinning impishly.

Inuyasha shook his fist at Miroku's retreating figure, but slowly brought it down as he came to a realization.

He missed Kagome.

Inuyasha sighed heavily and returned to looking at the water. He wondered, as he did often since Kikyo's resurrection, if it would have been better had he been the one who died. Then he wouldn't be caught between two women, and keep hurting them the way he has. His decision may have been easier if Kikyo remained dead, but his grief may be too much to bear. Although Kagome had helped get his mind off of Kikyo at times, it didn't change the tragic past, and his guilt. How dare he move on while Kikyo continued to suffer?

Inuyasha growled in frustration. Perhaps he would be better off going back to his old ways, or even returning to his original goal of becoming a full demon, so he wouldn't get tied down by complex relationship issues. He was tired of it all. Tired of Kikyo's inconsistent behaviour and tired of Kagome's insecurity.

Before Inuyasha knew it, he had grumbled himself to sleep.