A/n: It's been such a long time since I last updated...sorry. Truth be told, I actually don't feel like writing these stories anymore. I completely lost interest in them... I already wrote a chapter for Dream Drug, but it has taken me 3 months and counting just to edit it...oops.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

Kakuzu

We were playing a game. Don't even ask what it was. Hidan was sitting on my lap as a dare (now you know), and I had the urge to wrap my arms around him to hug him close. He was always the object of my affection but I could never show it. I don't know how either. What's love? Does it feel like this? Your heart beating so fast when they're near? A tight and warm feeling travelling through your chest? Or is this just fear? Regardless, I do know one thing. I want to be with him. I want to be near him. In the beginning I really did hate him. He was so annoying, rude, loud mouthed, but he can also be kind, honest, and generous. It doesn't make sense at first, but once you secure yourself a spot in his heart, as a friend, family, lover, and his entire personality will change towards you. I don't think I'm either of those.

He constantly fights me, punching me, kicking me, but I keep urging him on. I fight back, tooth and nail sometimes. But the reason I fight isn't because I hate him. No, its because I love him. Deeply. I want to be with him. And as the saying goes, keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. Maybe if he had enough hatred for me I'll always be on his mind. It's not the best way to go at things, but at this point, I'll take anything. I watch his eyes whenever we fight. I stare straight into them. Those violet eyes that are always bright and shining. There's never a moment when they go dull.

I think it was roughly halfway through the first semester when I saw them change. If it's possible, I swear I saw them grow brighter. They were livelier. I couldn't help but doubt myself. Maybe he found someone. Sure I'm the one person he's around the most, but I'm not the reason why his eyes shine so bright and he smiles more. But sometimes, when I look, it's a bittersweet smile instead. The shine, the light, the warmth, they were all gone. I wanted to know why. I wanted to see him happy. I want to murder the thing that makes him smile so bitterly. By now our relationship had changed. We don't fight as much despite our daily bickers. We grew into having a close companionship. This was both good and bad for me. It was good because now I know he doesn't truly hate me. It was bad because, as perverted as this sounds, I wouldn't be able to touch him, but no in that way.

I'm not a very touchy person, unlike Deidara. He would fluff Sasori's hair, much to his annoyance, grab his arm, hug him, and those two aren't even together. While we fight, that's the only time I can be so close to him and touch him. I would grab his head, push it down and feel his soft hair. It sounds perverted and gross, but when you've had no physical contact in your life before, this is all you can do. After our relationship changed, the next time I 'touched' him was when he showed me his math test. He was the brightest bulb in the box so when he showed me his highest mark in any subject, ever, which was an 85%, I actually smiled at him and patted him on the head. We were both surprised by my actions. I was silently questioning myself while Hidan looked at me shocked, before his face morphed into a shit eating grin so big it beat the Cheshire cats.

I couldn't help but think that he was such an idiot to be that happy about a pat on the head. Sadly, after that, his smiles turned even more sad. I want to ask him what's wrong, but I can't bring myself to. Instead, I watch him. He waits for me everyday at the end of my street so we can walk to school together. It's helpful that he only lives a few houses away from me. I watched him stand there, a blank expression on his face. His eyes were still bright, but didn't hold its usual bright loveliness. The second I opened my front door, he looked at me and smiled. His eyes glowed and his face looked radiant as if his god, Jashin, just walked out the front door, not me. That was it. That was the point where I knew something was wrong. I walked over to him stopped and looked back at my house. I said I forgot something and I grabbed his wrist, pulling him inside, or so it seemed. In actuality, I was measuring his heart rate. Was it normal, or did it speed up. I think my heart skipped a beat after I did the math. It was…faster.

My last thought was: fuck this friendship.

Hidan

Everyone thinks I'm a masochist, but truthfully, in the beginning, I actually hated pain. I was a sadist like every other normal human being out there, laughing at the expense of others and cackling when they hurt themselves.

One day, I thought I would try creating my own jutsu, one that would cause lots and lots of pain to my opponent. Except, somehow when I finished, I realised that I had to hurt myself as well!

"It's because you're an idiot. Just throw the damn shuriken at them and laugh at their pain. Problem solved." This is what Kakuzu told me. I told him to shut up, and he cut off my arm. He then promptly yelled at me for creating a huge mess. I'm sorry, but I wasn't the one who decided to decapitate someone!

Anyways, so completing my jutsu involved self-infliction. The more people I went out to kill on missions, the more information about me was spread from the surviving ninja. People called me a masochist because I laughed whenever I stab myself in the gut. Well, I'm not. I sacrifice my own body to hurt others and when I'm laughing, it's at them, and not at my own pain. I block out my own pain with the beautiful screams of my victims and get pleasure out of watching them writhe on the floor in agony. Sick, I know, but that's just how I am.

A/N: A short little drabble I thought of on the fly. Favourite if you liked it :D Or you know, review...