A/N: I written this about a couple of weeks ago but I decided just now to post it. I came up with this idea when I was listening to "Have You Ever?" by Brandy.
Warnings: Cussing, ooc (like always), shonen ai, onesided love
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Enjoy
ONESHOT- Have you ever
I just stood there; staring at you while you, Lee and Max straighten and fix your suit. Today was the day of your happiness and my nightmare. Today you will be getting married to her.
I loved you, always had and always will. I tried to tell you, I wanted to tell you but then after what I saw in the café that day just after you told me, I knew it was hopeless.
Hell even Tyson, Max, and Kenny looked disgusted. They were just two people in love like you and her. So what that they were the same sex? They love each other right? Then leave them be.
(Flashback)
I looked at you, studying you, watching as you order something. It just happens to be me and you here and not the rest of the team... finally. "Rei, I...I wanted t-to tell y-you." I said as the waiter went to get our order.
"Oh really? Well, I have something to tell you too, but you go ahead first." you replied eagerly.
"Well, I..."
"Rei-Rei, there you are!" I heard someone shrieked. I glanced up to find her and the rest of the Bladebreakers coming over beaming. She sat next to you and kissed you on the lips.
I held in a growl and glare at her. "So have you told him?" she whispered though I hear her perfectly clear.
"Told me what?" I asked coldly. She glared at me but then you spoke up.
"Actually I was about to tell him after he told me what he wanted." you replied sweetly and you put your arms around her waist. I clenched my fists under the table though I showed nothing on my face.
"Tell me what?" I asked again calmly. You looked up biting your lip but then smiled.
"Well, Mariah and I are planning to get married!" you said happily, beaming like the rest of them. It took a few minutes for your words to get through to me fully but when it did, it felt like my heart is breaking into a millions pieces, maybe more.
"Ewe... That's gross." Mariah muttered making a disgusted face, looking at something over in the corner of the coffee shop. You, Tyson, Max, and Kenny look and also make the same face.
I looked over just in time to see two men kissing slightly and sat down next each other, smiling. "Anyway, ignore them, since we are close friends I wanted you to be my best man."
"I... I...when did this happen?" I asked stuttering.
"About a week ago." you said, letting Mariah lean her head on your shoulder.
"Oh. I didn't even know you were dating." I muttered. It was true. After all the time we hung out like 'friends', like you put it, you never once mentioned it.
"I thought you would've noticed." you said frowning. I gave a false smile and shook my head.
"Guess it never clicked. Anyway, congratulations. I got to go now. I have some business to take care of." I replied and stood up as the waiter came over with our order.
"What about what you wanted to tell me?"
"It's nothing. See ya." I said putting down some money for my coffee which I just left there and left quickly.
(End of Flashback)
I remember I went back to my apartment and cried. You were straight, I should have figured. It surprised me that even though we were close friends, I never knew those things about you.
I didn't know what to do. I called Tala and told him. He along with Bryan, Spencer and Ian, knew that I loved you. It hurt so bad that I went drinking so much that night and woke up in Hilary's bed.
I can't believe I slept with her. I'm still having nightmares about sleeping with her and that was about two months ago. I tired to avoid her but eventually I stopped and told her it was a mistake and it meant nothing.
I know I upset her but it was the truth. It didn't mean anything to me and yet she kept trying to get me to rethink it but luckily Tala and Bryan managed to help get her to stay away from me.
I'm surprised you even invited them but I know the only real reason they came was because they knew I needed support and to stop me from making the same mistake as I did with Hilary.
They couldn't give a shit about you or Mariah or this stupid wedding. Hell, I had to stop Tala from finding and killing you when he first arrived and that wasn't exactly easy, you know.
I remember when I refused being your best man. I know it hurt but being close up to you and her when you two say, "I do." would kill me completely and I would end up making a fool of myself.
I'm not sure why I'm even still here. But I know that I'm going back with the Tala and them to Russia and that way I can help them with the kids at the abbey since Boris was locked up and take over the Hiwatari since Voltaire is dieing.
I guess that old fool actually is useful some times. Now I have a good reason to leave and not talk you or the others again. I'll be too 'busy' to see, talk or even write you. That's right; I'm cutting off all connections with you and the others cause if I don't then I'll be driven mad with depression.
"Kai?" I snapped out of my thoughts to find you standing in front of me and the others looking at me worriedly. "You okay, you look sad."
"I'm fine." I replied in a monotone, pushing myself off the wall and looking at the clock. You looked too and sighed nervously.
"Okay it's about time. Come on." Lee said, clapping his hands together and led you and the others out. "Kai, you coming?"
"In a minute." I said watching as you all leave the room. I sighed and walked over to the window watching as everyone sat down. We were in Hawaii for your wedding and I can't blame Mariah for picking this place.
On the beach, the wind blowing just right, not too cold or too warm. Just pure perfect. Someone pulled me into a hug and I sighed and lent back against him.
"You'll be fine, Kai." Tala murmured resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Yeah." I muttered meekly. "Thanks for being here for me guys."
"Don't worry about it." I heard Bryan say. I sighed and pulled away form the embrace and looked at them.
"I'm not sure if I can stay here during the ceremony." I whispered.
"Just let us know when you want to leave and we'll go, alright?" Tala said smiling sadly. I just swallowed to get rid of the lump in my throat and nodded since I didn't trust my voice.
We walked out of the room and headed outside. We stayed in the back and lent against the wall, Ian cursing his tuxedo since it was itching him. Well Tala, Bryan and Spencer didn't seem to like theirs either but never complained about it.
I watched as you and Lee talked at the front, waiting for it to begin. After tonight, I'm gone. You and Mariah are going to be happy and have a family while I'm going back to Russia and hopefully forget about everything.
No wonder why Boris and Voltaire tried to literally beat the feelings out of us and said that they were weak. They are. I wish I couldn't feel. I wish I had never even met you.
Yes, Kon, that is how much it hurts. The pain is eating me up inside like Tyson when he eats food. Too fast and way too much. Not to mention things are going to get worse. Voltaire wants me to get married since I'm the last Hiwatari.
Maybe I should, to carry out the Hiwatari bloodline. In fact, I'm sure he got someone picked out already. He even hinted it on the phone when he called and told me that he was dieing of cancer and that I needed to come home and take over the company.
I would have refused since I don't like girls in that way but sometimes people got to do what they need to even if they don't want to. Of course I haven't told anyone other then Demolition Boys about all that.
They, after all, accepted me for being gay but then again they are too. They stand by my choices and tell if they don't agree on something but respect them all the same.
Now they are real 'friends'. More like my brothers, I should say. If I need anything, from advice or shoulder to cry on, I can always count on them. Unlike you. I thought I could but I guess I can't since you are a homophobic.
I blinked as I realized that Mariah was already at the stand and the priest was starting with whatever in the hell they say at a wedding. I didn't listen to a word he said or how long he had went on but I did hear you say, "I do."
Those two words did it. They cut deep into me. So deep, that it was probably etched into my heart for life. Those two words was the final straw for me. I couldn't stand it here anymore.
At the moment I can't stand the sight of you. Of you and her kissing. I can't stand being here and watching as you and her beam with happiness. Damn you, Rei Kon.
Why do you make feel like this? This unbearable pain? Why they hell did I ever have to meet you? Damn it all to hell! Damn you, her and the world! Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn everything! Just damn it all to fucking hell!
I turned and walked into the building, tears falling even though I try to hold them back. I hear Tala and the other three following me as I fled away from the building. Away from you.
I pushed past people, nearly knocking them over. I ran across the street and nearly got hit by cars but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I let a sob and hung my head so that no one could see the famous Kai Hiwatari crying.
Thanks to you Kon, my emotionless façade is ruined. I have cried because of you and what hurts the most is that I still love you. That is why I also hate you. Why I can't stand you.
I pushed opened the doors to the hotel we were staying at and again, I pushed people out of my way. I ran up the stairs forgetting about the elevators and ran to the door to my room which I shared with the Demolition Boys who were still following me. I fought with the card key trying to hurry up and open the door but it wouldn't work.
I felt Tala pull me into a hug as Bryan took the key and finally getting the blasted door open. Tala led me into the room while the others shuffled in.
"Shh..." Tala cooed as he sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap, rubbing my back as I clung to his shirt as sobbed into his shoulder. "Bryan, call the Hiwatari helicopter and tell them that we are leaving earlier then expected and we should be there in a soon."
I heard someone shuffling about then Bryan talking to someone in Russian. I heard Tala order Ian and Spencer to change and get the clothes we had sat out for us to change and to make sure we had everything.
How I heard all that while sobbing is beyond me but I still heard it. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down and hiccupped. I pulled back and wiped the tears away, trying to regain my senses.
"I-I'm so-sorry." I muttered and stood up.
"Don't worry about it little brother; we'll always be there for you. Always." Tala said standing up also and pulled me into a hug before ushering me into the bathroom telling me I need to wash up.
I smiled and laughed lightly at his action, while turning on the tabs. It's weird, sometimes I wonder if he's more like a mother then a brother. I quickly washed my face, washing away the tears streaks and my face paint.
I took off the tuxedo I was warring and folded it. I pulled on a pair of black cargo pants, red tank top, and my scarf before reapplying the blue face paint. I walked out with the tuxedo and laid it on the bed on top of the others.
"Ready?" I asked as I went through my bag taking some things out. I put the picture of us Bladebreakers that Max had given me and laid it on top of the tuxes then necklace of a phoenix that Tyson gave me.
I also put an attack ring that Kenny made for Dranzer with them then finally put the leather jacket with a phoenix on the back that the holder of my heart, you Rei, gave me and laid it beside the other stuff.
"You sure you want to do this?" Ian asked.
"More then sure." I replied opening the door and walked out. I heard the others follow me and got into the cab that was waiting for us outside. The ride was silent.
This, Rei, is because you and the others will never accept me for who I am and because you will never feel the same for me. This is the only way I can start over and hopefully forget the pain that you caused.
(End of Kai's POV)
(Back with the others)
"Where's Kai?" Rei asked looking around not finding him or the Demolition Boys. They had just finished cutting the cake when they had noticed that the five were missing.
"I'm not sure. I did see them when the wedding started but then I guess they disappeared." Tyson said also looking around.
"Maybe they went back to the hotel." Mariah said looking thoughtful.
"I'll check since I have to do something at the hotel." Max said smiling. "Congratulations again you guys. Sorry I can't stay longer but I have some forms that need to be filled out by tomorrow night and trust me, there is a lot."
"Alright Maxie, thank you for coming. Oh and call if you find them." Rei said holding up his cell phone.
"Alright. Bye Rei," Max said giving Rei a friendly hug then Mariah who kissed him on the cheek, "bye Mariah, have fun for the rest of the night."
"Thank you Max." Mariah said waving at the retreating form. Max hummed as he walked back to the hotel and went up to the room where Kai was staying. He knocked but frowned when he got no answer.
Taking out an extra card key that was given to him, incase of emergences, he slid it into the lock and opened the door. "Kai?" He called and looked around.
His sight landed on the folded tuxes and the Christmas presents that they had given Kai sitting on the closes bed. He looked around quickly before it finally hit him.
Kai was gone. And he left everything that they had given him. That only meant one thing, he left them for good and he didn't plan on coming back.
Pulling out his cell phone, he quickly called Rei. +Hello+
"Rei, they are gone. Kai left the things we gave him for Christmas and left along with Tala and the others. Their things are gone. I don't think they plan on coming back." Max whispered and he could hear Rei dropping the phone.
Done, hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R, thanks. Also, sorry about talking past-tense instead of present-tense but I can't seemed to write it like that.