Love: Nicole
Sara tried desperately to fight Adam off. She just couldn't stop him. As he held her there, she started to think, "Maybe its all for the best? What kind of life have I been living anyway?"
She listened silently as Adam rambled, the ceramic shard still to her neck. She wished he'd just hurry up.
As she waited her mind wandered to her childhood.
Flashback
A five year old curly haired child hid under her bed. From the living room she could hear her parents screaming at eachother. A scream shattered the air and Sara retreated further underneath her bed. Once the noise stopped, she slowly and silently crept out from her hiding place.
She walked softly into the living room and the overwhelming smell of copper filled her nostrils. Before her, lay her father splayed out on the floor, bleeding profusley. Her mother was smiling evily at her.
"Sara baby, come here," Laura Sidle called softly, trying to lure her daughter close enough to stab her. Hesitantly Sara edged closer and Laura lunged at her. The knife sank into her stomache and she screamed. Laura mocked her, "Did little Sara get a boo-boo."
"Mommy! Help me!" the little girl called out. She had no idea what was happening at the time. Her mother just walked out of the house and left her to die.
Sara's father, with his last ounces of strength, tried desperately to stop his daughter's bleeding and called 911.
When the paramedics arrived they found the little girl in her fathers arms. John Sidle was propped up against the wall. The child was alive, but John had died trying to save her.
Ten years afterwards a teenage girl was on her first date. Sara was walking side by side with a goodlooking boy.
"Jake where are we going? She asked the older boy.
"Sara, its a surprise," he replied.
Jake brought her to a desolate area where the stars looked so much brighter.
"Oh Jake, it's so beautiful!" Sara cried out.
He handed her a can of pop that was already open. Gratefully she took a long drink. It wasn't until she downed the whole thing that she noticed his smile. A smile so very familiar.
Immediately she felt drowsy. She couldn't move as Jake stripped her down and raped her.
"Stop..." she protested weakly.
"Shut up bitch! You deserve it and you know you want it. You deserve it, bitch!" He yelled at her.
Later Jake drove her back to her foster mother's house. He grabbed her one more time and kissed her roughly. "You deserved it and if you tell anyone I'll kill you. Doesn't matter though does it, no one would believe a bitch like you," he told her quietly.
Silently Sara got out of the car, she never told anyone because she believed him.
End Flashbacks
Knocks on the window of the nurses station brought her out of her trance. She looked up for an instance and saw Grissom. Their eyes locked and she saw something in his eyes. It looked like love.
"Keep your eyes on the floor, don't look at them," Adam commanded and she obeyed.
Sara thought about the unspoken connection she and Grissom had had when their eyes locked. "Screw the past, what about now?" she thought to herself, "I'm not ready, I have so much to live for."
She felt the ceramic sherd dig into her neck a little, "I can't die, not yet, not yet," she repeated over and over to herself. Giving her the strength she needed to hold on.
Adams grip weakened and she broke free and ran out and down the hall. Sara breathed a sigh of relief, "Not yet," she thought to herself. "Mom, Jake and Adam can go straight to hell, but this is my life."