OK hey, before we get started I just wanted to let ya'll know that this story was written like four years ago, therefore it is horrible and FULL of gramatical errors. It was originally written as something we felt like doing on the side. However, there are about 600 rabid fans a day commanding me to give them this story and I have no patience to email it to everyone, so here it is in all of its horrible, terrible glory.
Sasuke.
Lee woke up one morning and stretched. Today was already going to be a good day because it was his birthday! And, unlike most men turning forty, Lee was HAPPY because that meant that he was another year older with another year of experience under his belt! Besides, we all know that Lee is happy to be alive no matter how old he gets!
Suddenly, in the doorway appeared a small Lee clone who could have been no older than nine. He ran over to the bed, bounded off the floor and practically ambushed his dad. "Happy birthday, dad!" he exclaimed.
"Thanks Lil Gai!" said Lee as the Lee clone burst into a very loud rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.
That's when Tenten came strolling in, fully clothed and with all her make-up on already even though Lee had just awoken! How strange!
"Good morning, Lee!" she said. "Happy birthday!"
"Thanks Tenten!" said Lee.
"Why don't you get dressed?" suggested Tenten. "I've got a special surprise planned for you!" Just as she said that, the doorbell rang.
"IS IT A MAGICIAN?!" gasped Lil Gai.
"Let's go find out!" said Tenten as Lee sprung up, ran into the closet and then ran back out, dressed, after an elapsed time of about ten seconds. As he, Tenten and Lil Gai made their way down the stairs, Lee applied his precious Jounin vest.
Tenten opened the door to be faced with a tall man with a large overcoat on. He had on sunglasses and looked very mysterious.
"Shino!" said Tenten, ushering him in. "So glad you could make it!"
"Shino?" said Lee, looking a little confused.
"Happy birthday, Lee." Said Shino.
"Oh!" said Lee. "Shino! I remember Shino! Tenten, you invited Shino over! This is the best birthday present ever!"
"Lee, be quiet!" said Tenten as she led Shino into the other room. "Shino, thanks so much for coming! Come in! We're just waiting for the other guests to show up. While you're waiting, would you like something to drink?"
Shino didn't say anything for a moment. "…No." he said finally.
"Okay…" said Tenten. "Well, meet our son!"
"This is Lil Gai!" said Lee, grabbing Lil Gai and practically throwing him at Shino.
"HI!" said Lil Gai, waving.
Everyone cleared their throats awkwardly. Tenten had been hoping that pretty much anyone would show up BEFORE Shino… but it happened so what can she do now? Luckily, they were ALL saved by the bell because it rang again so Lil Gai sprinted off to open the door.
Lil Gai looked up as the mildly average sized blond man clad in a Jounin vest standing in the doorway.
"Hi!" said Lil Gai.
"Is your father home?" asked the man.
"Yeah!" said Lil Gai. That's when Tenten rounded the corner.
"Naruto!" she said. "Is that you?"
"Yeah, who else would I be?" said Naruto.
"Did you bring the family?" questioned Tenten.
"They're in the car getting the gift right now." Said Naruto. "Sakura didn't trust my navigation skills so she didn't believe that this was the right house but once I saw this kid, I knew we were in the right place."
Tenten looked at Lil Gai. "I can see why." She commented. She sighed slightly but then turned back to Naruto just as Sakura came walking up holding the hand of a small blonde haired, blue eyed little girl wearing a huge pink dress with the sashes and pigtails and all sorts of other things. "Oh…what an adorable little girl!" Tenten said.
"Oh wow!" said the little girl. "Look at that kid! His eyebrows are huge!"
"Hey!" said Lil Gai.
"Kajitsu!" said Sakura in a motherly tone. Then she looked at Tenten who didn't appear to be offended at all since her son and husband got that sort of comment all the time. "Please excuse her. She's only six years old."
"That's all right." Said Tenten with a shrug. "Please come in! Lee will be so happy to see the both of you."
Tenten took Naruto, Sakura and Kajitsu into the other room where Lee was failing at trying to entertain Shino. Actually, he could have been succeeding, but one can never tell with Shino.
"Sakura!" said Lee happily as he went over to Sakura and hugged her. "I've missed you so much! It's been such a long time!" Then he looked at Naruto. "And Naruto too! I can't believe you two actually got married! That's actually really unbelievable!"
"Tell me about it." said Sakura.
"Meet my daughter!" said Naruto, pointing to Kajitsu. Lee looked down at the little girl.
"He has big eyebrows too!" said Kajitsu.
"Oh, she's adorable!" said Lee since he was obviously immune to comments like that as well. "And I assume you all met MY son too! His name is Lil Gai and he's a chip off the ol' block!"
"You didn't have to tell us that, it was quite apparent." Said Sakura, looking painfully at Lil Gai.
"And you named him Gai?" said Naruto skeptically.
"LIL Gai." Said Lee. "Not to be confused with Gai."
"Oh." Said Naruto. "That makes sense."
"Wow, this is such a great surprise!" said Lee to Tenten. "Sakura, Naruto and Shino! This is a great! What a birthday!"
"Lee, I would think that you'd be able to tell by now that everyone is going to be coming to your birthday celebration." Tenten confessed, realizing that Lee would never figure it out until everyone was there.
"REALLY?!" gasped Lee, slapping his cheeks in surprise just as the doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it!" sang Tenten as she waltzed into the other room to where the door was. She opened it to see Shikamaru and Chouji standing there. Chouji was gynormbus and had a Jounin vest on while Shikamaru had a goatee.
She looked at them standing next to each other, then leaned over and looked at the single car that had just arrived in.
"You two…aren't…" Tenten started, pointing at the two of them.
Shikamaru and Chouji gave Tenten an odd look.
"No." said Shikamaru. "I just didn't feel like driving so Chouji gave me a ride."
"Oh." Said Tenten with a sigh of relief. "Come in, then!"
She beckoned them in and they came into the other room where everyone was already standing. After a session of hellos, Tenten could finally ask where their little wives were.
"My wife's at home." Chouji said. "She said she'd feel weird coming to a birthday party of someone she didn't even know."
"And my wife disappeared about seven years ago." Said Shikamaru thoughtfully. "I honestly don't know where she is."
"That's so sad!" said Sakura.
Shikamaru shrugged in response.
"Dad, are any other kids coming?" Lil Gai asked Lee. He didn't really want to play with a girl.
"It depends on whether or not my other friends have kids." Lee replied.
Then the doorbell rang again. Lil Gai's prayers were answered as he opened the door seemingly in slow motion to see eight people standing there. Six children, and two adults.
"Sasuke and Ino!" said Tenten since she's the door person. "Look at you two and your enormous family! I see you didn't waste any time in restoring the clan."
Sasuke looked at his six children. "I suppose not." He said.
"I just wanted a girl." Ino admitted, pointing to the youngest child who was female while the rest of them were male.
"Come on in!" Tenten said. The mob was led into the room that had people in it and an introduction was in order!
"This is Sasuke." said Ino, putting her hand on the oldest boy's head. "He's our oldest…fifteen. He just became a chuunin and graduated at the top of his class when he was in the academy!" Sasuke Jr. looked very similar to Sasuke, except he was blond.
"Inoshi is thirteen---" said Sasuke, talking about the next child that was blond with blue eyes…very similar to a BOY Ino.
"Uchiha Inoshi?!" gasped Lee. He looked back and forth from Inoshi to Sasuke and back to Inoshi again. "I never made the connection!"
"Dad, you never said you knew my teacher!" said Inoshi to Sasuke.
"Your teacher?" said Sasuke.
"Yeah, he's in my three-man team that I teach!" said Lee. "What a small world, huh?! Has Inoshi told you that I nominated him and the other two for the chuunin exam?"
"That's wonderful news!" said Ino.
"How could you have possibly NOT made the connection?" said Sasuke who was still a little confused.
"Oh, I don't know." Said Lee with a shrug. "You have to admit that he doesn't look a thing like you."
"But we have other children too, as you can see!" said Ino, moving down the line to the next oldest boy who had black hair with blue eyes. "This is Senjou! He's ten years old and at the academy! He's doing very well and we expect great things from him, isn't that right, Senjou?"
Senjou shrugged and looked down.
"And then…Shika and Cho." Said Sasuke as he put a hand on the heads of a set of identical twins. They both had blond hair and blue eyes like Inoshi. "Currently nine years old and attending the academy as well."
"You named your kids after Shikamaru and Chouji?" asked Naruto.
"Well…there were two of them…" Ino said. "And we weren't about to name them after you or Sakura. That would be weird. Especially since they were both boys and Sakura's kind of a girl's name…"
"And—" Sasuke continued as he looked around for the youngest daughter before finally coming to realize that she was clinging to his leg. She was pretty much just a GIRL Sasuke with black hair and black eyes. She had a little blue bow in her hair and a matching dress. "—This is Hana. She's five. And no, we don't plan on having anymore as of now."
"We're not really sure if we're going to enroll her in the academy or not…" Ino started.
"Of course we are." Sasuke replied immediately.
"Wow!" said Sakura. "Our daughter, Kajitsu, is the same age as your little Hana! They can be FRIENDS!" She glared at Ino.
Ino glared back. "I'm sure they can!" she said. Naruto and Sasuke also glared at each other.
"We'll just…see if they become friends on their own." Said Sasuke.
"Yeah, wouldn't want to force them." Naruto finished.
"This is MY son!" said Lee. "His name is Lil Gai!"
They heard something creek upstairs. Everyone looked up.
"Oh, that must just be Lil Lee!" said Tenten.
"You have a second kid?" said Shikamaru.
"Yeah!" said Lee. "You can never have enough kids, right Sasuke?" Sasuke chose not to reply.
"Tenten, I'm just a little surprised that you had one kid, let alone two." Sakura said quietly to Tenten. "I mean, after Gai I would think…"
"Lil Lee came first." Tenten interrupted. "He's fifteen."
They counted the tromps down the stairs and suddenly, standing there was someone who did not look like Lee at all. He certainly wasn't another Lee clone. In fact, he looked probably the most opposite person to Lee in the entire world. He was very feminine and had long, straight hair and his face was nice and pretty. Though, since he obviously just woke up, he was a little bedraggled with his hair sloppily put up in a ponytail and still wearing his glasses and in his pajamas.
He took one look around at the trillion people that were in his house that shouldn't have been there and then quickly turned around and went back up the stairs to make himself look more presentable before too many people saw him.
It was silent.
"Oh Jesus!" said Naruto. "If no one else is going to say it then I'll have to! Where did THAT come from?!"
"Did you adopt?" Ino asked.
"No." Tenten answered. "And we did a blood test too and he's the product of Lee and myself."
"That was bizarre." Said Shino since he was still there.