Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: Me own nothing. Including Caspian. Unfortunately. -pouts- All credit of characters but Minni and whatserface go to C.S. Lewis, and the name Minni is credited to Jess (PadmaPatil on MNI).

Notes: This is SERIOUSLY non-canon. Like, majorly. So sorry if anyone hates it. I don't blame you. This is probably NOTHING what the Pevensies would do. It's just that I was listening to "If U Seek Amy" (I know, I know!) and this image popped in my head, and it stuck with me. So, sorries if you all hate it.

Remember

"Susan!" someone shouted over the loud music that drummed in Susan's ears. She turned and saw her friend and college roommate Minni run up to her, holding two glasses filled with a clear, bubbling liquid. She giggled and almost toppled over.

Susan grabbed Minni's thin, tanned arm and held her up. She had a feeling she knew what the drinks were. And she had a feeling that Minni had been drinking a lot of them.

"Minns, are you okay?" she asked worriedly, staring at her friend. Minni giggled and burped, her springy strawberry-blonde bouncing in time to the music.

"Never better!" she exclaimed, her voice rising into a high pitch. Susan winced. Minni had never had a good tolerance for alcohol.

"Minni, maybe you should stop drinking and sit down for a little bit."

Minni looked shocked that Susan would even suggest such a thing.

"No way! It's not a party without me!" Minni protested, swinging her bangle-covered wrists in the air. Susan frowned and said nothing. She didn't like Minni's idea of "fun". AKA where they were now. In fact, Susan would rather be anywhere BUT here.

But, unfortunately, she was outruled by Minni and Peter, who had both wanted to come. Couldn't they understand that Susan would much rather stay back at her warm, inviting dorm, curled up on the couch in old sweats and a book?

Apparently not.

"Minni, can't we just leave?" Susan asked, her voice filled with distaste at where she was. Minni rolled her celery green eyes.

"Suze, relax!" she said, her voice slightly slurred over her special nickname for Susan. "Have a drink!"

She reached over the bar counter and pulled out a glass of the bubbly drink. At first glance, Susan had assumed it was champagne. But now, as she looked closer, she realized it wasn't that. Yes, it probably had champagne in it, but it also seemed to have another drink in it- one she couldn't quite make out.

Susan shook her head, her dark curls flying into her face. "No, Minni," she said with a sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you? I don't drink."

"Your loss," Minni said with another roll of her eyes. She tipped the glass into her mouth and downed the entire glass in one gulp.

She smacked her full pink lips and ran her tongue over her white teeth. "Yum," she said, her voice seeming to be drowsy. She looked around, the whites of her eyes slightly bloodshot.

"Hey, Suze. Where's your brother?"

Susan sighed. She could practically read Minni's mind. Your hot older brother.

"I really don't know," she said, massaging her temples.

Minni shrugged and slid off her barstool. She grabbed another drink and pushed her way into the dancing crowd.

Susan stayed at the bar. She leaned her pale forehead against the counter and closed her eyes, feeling the cool marble against her throbbing forehead. God, she wanted to leave. So badly.

Flashback...

"I've never noticed these before," she said brightly, kneeling down in the center of the meadow to see the flowers. They were beautiful. Snow white with sky blue tips.

"There are a lot of new things," he said, his brown hair flapping in the wind. Susan lay on her back and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun heat her skin.

He stood over her, silent and polite. Susan cracked one eye open and laughed.

He jumped in surprise.

"Did I do something humorous?" he asked warily. Susan smiled.

"I just find it funny how you are so tense. You need to relax, Caspian."

She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. Caspian knelt next to her.

"How shall I relax?" he asked with a frown. Susan smiled.

"I don't know. You can relax in many ways. Pick one."

He sat on his knees in the meadow and plucked a flower from the ground. He reached toward Susan and tucked the flower behind her ear. Susan raised an eyebrow.

"That is going to help you relax?" she asked. Caspian smiled.

"Not exactly. But it is working," he said, lying down in the grass and cushioning his head with his arms. Susan rolled onto her stomach so she was closer to him, and propped herself up with her forearms.

"Why are you so tense, anyway?" she asked, her hair flying around from the wind but the flower staying perfectly lodged in place. Caspian did not open his eyes as he spoke.

"It is complicated, really. I was brought up in the harsh Telmarine court. Everyone in the court was always tense and headstrong. No one was out of place. No one relaxed ever. It was all serious, all the time. I suppose I just took on that manner."

Susan frowned in thought. "Well, what do you think of that manner?"

Caspian thought for a moment, then opened his eyes, and propped himself up on his elbow. "I think I am not fond of that manner."

Susan smiled. "Good," she said, pushing back some of her hair.

They were silent for a moment, before a major gust of wind hit them. Susan gasped and shivered. Her flower flew from her hair and danced through the air.

Caspian stood up and tried to catch it, but it was going to fast. Susan laughed and reached for it. It simply slipped through her fingers.

"Catch it!" she shouted with delight, and they both tried, with no avail.

They were doubled over laughing, out of breath from laughter and running.

"Here," Caspian said, picking another flower and sweeping it into her hair. She laughed airily, and took it out of her hair. She slipped it into the pocket of her gown with a smile.

"I'd rather save it, than have the wind take it away," she said, looking up at him. They stared at each other for a moment. It seemed as if they were going to kiss, but they didn't. Because they heard their names being called.

They turned in surprise and regret, that they would have to leave their serenity so soon.

"Again?" she asked with a knowing smile. Caspian nodded.

"Soon," he answered, and swept up her hand and kissed her knuckles softly.

There was a difference between him and the Telmarine court. The other Telmarines would have done that just to be polite. But Caspian didn't. The way he did it was tender and sweet. Completely different from politeness. And it send Susan pleasurable chills down her spine.

End of flashback...

Susan's eyes snapped open. How did she remember that?

Her eyes traveled toward the group of people dancing. She heard someone make a whooping sound, and it sounded vaguely like a drunk Minni.

She suddenly wondered something: Where was that flower? She remembered when she had arrived back in England, she had pressed it into a book and then... what? What did she do with it?

Suddenly she wanted that flower back. Badly.

And why was she suddenly thinking of that? She had finally gotten over it about two years ago. Hadn't she? Yes. And yet, she was suddenly remembering it all with a very wistful feeling.

"Susan!" someone else shouted, bringing Susan from her musings. She turned and saw the blonde head of her older brother coming toward her. He was slightly tipsy, but not as much as Minni, and clinging to his side was a busty brunette girl Susan didn't know.

"Su, this is Bianca," he said, answering her thoughts. Bianca giggled and shook back her sleek mane- totally different from Susan's thick curls.

While Bianca ordered drinks, Peter slid into the bar stool next to Susan's and frowned.

"You okay?" he asked, his breath heavy with the scents of alcohol. Susan had to lean backward to escape the fumes.

"I'm fine. Just thinking," she said, focusing on the music blasting in the background. Which made her temples throb again.

"About?"

Susan shrugged. "Nothing really," she said quietly, then groaned. "Why did you two bring me here? You both know that clubs are not my scene."

Peter shrugged too. "I know that. But Minni and I thought you needed to get out. All you ever do is just sit around and read. Don't you ever feel like going out and having fun?"

"Reading is fun," Susan shot back, annoyed. Didn't they know her at all?

"I can see that. But it's not good to stay in forever."

Susan frowned for a moment, then said, "Peter? Do you ever get... flashbacks?"

Peter rolled his eyes and accepted gratefully the drink Bianca handed him.

"What d'you mean?" he asked, sipping it. Susan was at least thankful that he didn't down the whole thing like Minni did. He had a much higher tolerance for the stuff than she did.

"I mean, do you ever have flashbacks of.... you know..." Susan let her voice trail off and her eyes slip toward Bianca, who was chatting with an equally busty white-blonde haired girl, but she was still quite within earshot. Luckily, Peter was perceptive, and he picked up on her hesitation.

He frowned and put his drink down. "I thought you were over this, Su."

Susan held up her hands covered with silver rings and nodded her head.

"I am," she said, blinking her emerald eyeshadow-covered eyelids in an innocent way (Minni had insisted that she dress up for the club, so, Minni had totally made her over- i.e. tight clothes that Susan could hardly breathe in, heavy layers of eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, and lots of jewelry. None of which was in Susan's comfort zone). "I just mean that I just sort of had... a flashback."

Peter shrugged idly and sipped his drink. "It's fine, Su. Everyone has flashbacks. It's totally normal."

Susan shook her head. He obviously didn't get it. "But it's not normal for ME, Pete," she protested, playing with one of the heavy chandelier earrings in her ear. Why had she let Minni dress her up?

Seeing his confused look, she elaborated. "I mean, Peter, that I haven't thought about you know what in over two years, and suddenly, one night, I just start getting flashbacks? How is that normal?"

Peter examined Susan's face. "Have you been drinking?" he asked point-blank, as if that was the solution to her problem. Susan sighed and rolled her eyes, exasperated.

"How many times do I have to tell you and Minni?" she said, throwing her hands up in annoyance. "I. Don't. Drink."

"Okay, okay, okay," Peter responded, holding up his hands in mercy.

"So, do you get why that's weird?" Susan asked. Peter shrugged again.

"Look, Su. Things happen that are strange. But flashbacks aren't that strange. Even if you haven't had them for over two years. Trust me. I know."

And with those words, he wrapped his arm around Bianca's waist and pulled her into the crowd. Susan wanted to shout after him, No! You don't know! You weren't in love with anyone, were you?

But she didn't. Because that would prove that she wasn't over Caspian and Narnia. Which she totally was. Right?

Susan turned toward the bartender and pursed her lips. And suddenly, she heard the words coming out of her mouth:

"Can I get one of those champagne drinks, please?"

The bartender nodded and made her a drink with the bubbly champagne, and a red twist of some sort of liquor in it.

Susan couldn't believe she had just done that. Ordered a drink. She had just basically told the whole world that she didn't drink! What was she thinking, ordering a drink?

She stared down at the bubbling contents, her fingers clammy. Any moment, the glass would slip through her fingers and crash onto the floor, and the contents would spill out.

And so, she tipped back her head, and drained the whole glass.

Bubbles pierced through her throat as she swallowed. Her taste buds screamed in protest, for they had never tasted anything like it before. But they soon dulled into nothing more than murmurs.

It tasted sort of like soda. Only it had a bitter exterior, and a cherry sweetness to it (probably from the red liquor twist). And Susan liked it. She was surprised with herself for liking it, but she did. She liked it a lot.

The bartender watched her drink it amusingly. It probably must have been funny looking- a beautiful girl at first wary to drink it, and then, suddenly, go totally into another mood and drain the whole glass.

Susan slammed the glass down on the counter and croaked out, "Another please."

The bartender made the second one, and this time, Susan sipped it slowly, relishing its taste. She licked her lips, which were sticky with champagne.

"Like that, do you?" the bartender said with a grin. Susan gave him a lazy smile. Obviously, the drink was very strong. And, what else was obvious was that like Minni, Susan had a very low tolerance for alcohol.

Without waiting for her to ask, he put down another drink. Susan's brain screamed, Yes! But, unfortunately, her body had other ideas.

Suddenly, Susan felt very dizzy. Her stomach churned, and she gagged. The bartender recognized this. She must have been a virgin drinker. He grabbed a silver bowl from under the counter and pushed it under her pale chin. Susan heaved, and wretched into the bowl. She groaned.

Oh, God. This is not good.

"Little sick there, are we?" the bartender asked gently. Susan winced and nodded, then threw up more liquid. When she was finished, the bartender handed her a towel to wipe her mouth off with. Susan grimaced as she wiped. That had been disgusting.

She felt woozy from all the puking.

"Ugh…" she moaned. She felt cool hands on her back and she turned to look up at her brother, who was staring at her, concerned. She almost threw up on the spot when she saw the drink he was holding.

"You okay?"

Susan shook her head and leaned against the counter-top. Peter placed his cool hand on her forehead, and Susan closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. The music pounded in the background, but Susan was familiar with yoga, which had you block out all outside sounds, so it was really no trouble for her to block out the obnoxious noise.

Flashback…

The bitter wind flew through the frozen night air as Susan walked across the chilly ground, holding a candle out to see through the darkness. She wrapped her cloak around herself and waited.

She heard the sounds of clopping hooves, and turned, surprise to see Caspian on a large, midnight black horse.

Susan frowned. "What are you doing?"

Caspian did the opposite, and smiled. "We are going out for a midnight ride."

Susan raised an eyebrow, but she wasn't crazy. She wouldn't object. She blew out her candle, placed it on the frozen ground, and accepted Caspian's hand as he pulled her up behind him.

"Where are we going?" she asked, pushing back some of her hair, her heart fluttering as he turned his head and focused his eyes on her.

"Now why would I tell you that when it is a surprise?"

Susan smiled for the first time that night, and wrapped her arms around his waist in order to stay on the horse. He kicked his heels against Destrier's side and he immediately went into a swift canter. The wind rushed through Susan's hair, and she felt the cold night air swim through her. Surprisingly, it didn't chill her to the bone. It felt nice. She felt the heat radiate off of Caspian's body, along with the scent of pine and musk that made him, well… him. Susan leaned closer, inhaling. The scent of him was better than anything she had every smelled before. It was like her own personal drug that only worked for her.

"Hey. What are you doing?" Caspian asked, glancing over at her. Susan blushed and realized that her head had been resting on his shoulder. She sat up and looked away.

"Oh, nothing," Susan lied, heat rushing up to her cheeks.

Caspian stopped Destrier and shifted in the saddle, so he was facing Susan. He brushed back some of her hair and looked at her, a grin lighting up his whole face.

"I know what you were doing."

Susan blushed even redder, the red reaching the tips of her hair.

Caspian noticed how embarrassed she was. He chuckled and leaned forward, his lips brushing the sensitive skin on her neck. She froze, her hands shaking, her mind repeating these words steadily: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

"And for your information, you do not smell all that bad either."

Susan buried her face in her hands and laughed. It all sounded so ridiculous.

A thought occurred to her. She raised her head and looked him square in the eye.

"What exactly DO I… smell like?" she asked, feeling a little awkward asking it. Caspian frowned for a moment, and then a gleam lit up his chocolate eyes. He leaned toward her, and she felt his nose on her neck. He ran a line up her neck, and she heard the sounds of deep breaths. She felt his breath on her neck and she clenched her hands against her legs and stiffened, to keep herself calm.

Caspian lifted his head, his face mere centimeters away from hers.

"What do you smell like?" he whispered, his voice thick and rich with his Spanish accent. Susan could only nod. Caspian's eyes pierced hers so hard that Susan could hardly look away. He smiled, and leaned closer, so only a pin's width was separating them.

"You smell like the sweetness of a rose, yet the fiery tingle of a hot pepper is mixed in with it. All in all, it is very pleasant."

Susan could scarcely breathe. Her hands felt clammy against her skirts, and the bitter wind caressed both of them and wrapped around them, though it wasn't cold to Susan. Caspian's body was giving off so much heat that she didn't need anything else to warm her.

He leaned merely a fraction. That was all he needed to move in order to be in contact. His dark hair fell into his eyes, which reminded Susan of all those idiotic English guys who thought having their hair in their faces was cool. But on Caspian it looked… right.

His lips had a satiny smooth feeling, and were as soft as a fluffy down-filled pillow. She could smell the pine and musk even more clearly now. It traveled up her nasal cavities and cleared up her sinuses in an instant. Suddenly she could breathe more clearly. Her eyes closed and her soft white hands traveled up his sides and caressed his neck.

It all ended too soon, however. When they pulled away she fought to control her mouth so it wouldn't slip into the pout that was threatening to appear.

Caspian smirked and his tongue ran across his lips- which now looked even softer, if that was even possible.

"You taste like it too," he whispered thoughtfully, and Susan blushed. His eyes gleamed brightly and he grinned at her.

"So, tell me Susan. What exactly do I smell like?"

End of flashback…

Susan's eyes snapped open, and Peter looked at her with concern.

"Jeez, Su. Your eyes are all bloodshot. You look like shit, no offense."

Susan shook her head, not really listening to him. Why was she suddenly having all these flashbacks? She thought back just to the one she had, and her heart ached a little when she remembered the feeling of Caspian's lips on hers, the sensuous taste of pine and musk that filled her mouth and nose, and the bitter chill of the wind that she had hardly noticed. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Susan. Are. You. Okay?" Peter asked, enunciating each word. Susan glanced over at him and felt like she was going to puke all over again. She bit her lip and shook her head.

"No," she wheezed.

"Did you have another flashback?"

"Yes."

Peter looked at her worriedly. His drink swayed in his hand, and he was about to open his mouth to say something, when Bianca grabbed his wrist and jerked her head toward the dance floor. Susan smiled faintly.

"Go. Have fun. I think I'm just going to head out."

"No. Stay. I'll be back," Peter demanded. Susan sighed and leaned against the counter as Peter went off to dance. She massaged her forehead and groaned. Why couldn't anyone see that she hated clubs? She hated being here? God, she just wanted to go back to her dorm.

"Why am I suddenly having these flashbacks?" she muttered angrily. She hadn't had them in three years. Why was it suddenly… oh God.

She turned toward the bartender, her eyes glazed. "Excuse me, but what's the date today?" she asked, her heart pounding and her voice panicked.

"September 14th. Why?"

Susan's heart stopped. That date sounded familiar. Too familiar. She knew the date. It was the date that she went back to Narnia for the second time. Was THIS why she was having flashbacks?

No. Because that date had come around three times before. And she hadn't had any flashbacks. So why today?

Susan watched every dance. She saw couples with their arms around each other, and others grinding against one another like they were wild dogs. She had no desire to be out there. So she just watched, wishing and wishing that she was away from here.

Flashback…

Susan's horse pounded against the turf, but he was no match for the lightening fast movement of Destrier. Susan huffed and puffed as she kicked his sides harder and tightened her grip on the reins. She leaned forward and eyed the makeshift finish line (i.e. Edmund's chess board- but he didn't need to know about that).

"C'mon, baby, you can make it! Just a little bit faster!" she urged the horse. Of course, this horse was not a Horse; therefore he couldn't understand a word Susan said. He just continued at the pace he was going at.

Susan heard Caspian's triumphant laugh, and she grimaced. She slowed her horse until she was rising over him.

"You got lucky," she muttered, lying to herself. She knew he didn't get lucky. Destrier was a very fast horse.

Caspian rolled his eyes and snorted, his eyes laughing and his smile wide. "I believe that you just picked a slow horse, my lady."

Susan gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth, pretending to be offended. "How dare you, sir!" she announced, her eyes laughing. "I believe my judgment was excellent! YOU just cheated!"

Caspian snorted again. "Cheated, did I?"

Susan opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Caspian lifted her from her saddle, spun her around, and kissed her exhilarated mouth. Susan froze from shock, and then she went limp in his arms, feeling dizzy.

He pulled away from her, but kept her in his arms. Her hand was rested limply on his chest, and her hair fell back over her shoulders. She felt dazed when she looked into his eyes, and she almost didn't catch what he said next;

"Now do you think I cheated?"

Susan made a very unladylike, rude sort of noise, and rolled her eyes.

"That does not make a difference."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

They both heard a snapping sound, and turned in surprise. Susan's eyes widened and she made a little sound in the back of her throat that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a gasp. Destrier had taken a step back, and his hoof had landed on Edmund's chess board, and it had snapped in two.

"What was that?" someone shouted, and both Susan and Caspian froze. Edmund had gone into the castle to retrieve his chess pieces while Susan and Caspian were racing. Obviously, he was back.

"Su? Caspian? What was that noise?"

Susan exchanged a panicked look with Caspian. Edmund would kill them when he found out that they had been using his board as a finish line.

Caspian looked back at her and mouthed the word, "Hide". Susan didn't need to be told twice. She extracted herself from Caspian's arms and bolted toward a nearby shrug. She flattened her body and slid underneath it, not caring that she was getting herself filthy. She turned and saw Caspian sliding into the shrub right across from hers.

She saw someone's feet walk past the shrub, and stop a few feet from Caspian's shrub. She heard a loud gasp, and someone stomp their feet and curse wildly. Edmund's curses sounded so odd coming from his boyish voice (for his voice hadn't completely matured yet) that Susan found it very difficult to stifle her giggles. Her eyes sidled over to Caspian, and she saw that he was laughing into his arm.

She saw Edmund's feet stomping back the way they had come, and she heard the side door of the castle slam shut in anguish. Susan slowly inched out from her shrub, and started wiping off the dirt. She could no longer contain her laughter, and so her shoulders were shaking with mirth as she wiped.

"He's going to figure out someday, though," Susan commented when Caspian stood next to her and dusted the small amount of dirt off his trousers. Caspian smirked.

"I can bet that he will get revenge as well."

Susan chuckled. "Perhaps he thinks that the best way to gain revenge is to demolish us at a game of chess."

Caspian laughed. "Perhaps," he agreed, shaking his dark hair out of his eyes.

End of flashback…

Susan wanted to scream. Stop! Enough with the flashbacks! Just stop!

She slid off the barstool for the first time that night and weaved her way through the crowd. She had to get home. Oh, God. She HAD to.

She felt someone grab her arm, and she turned to look into the celery green eyes of her best friend and roommate. Her drunk best friend and roommate.

"Suzie, where arrreee you go-go-going?" Minni slurred, hiccupping on the word "going". She giggled and swayed back and forth.

"Home," Susan said flatly. Minni's eyes seemed to glaze over.

"But whyyyyy?" Minni whined, her pretty face slipping into a pout. Susan sighed. She had better things to do than explain why she was leaving a club to someone who was drunk. Better things like find out why the hell she was having flashbacks, after she hadn't had them for over two years.

"Because this just isn't my scene. I'm tired, and I want to go back to our dorm, change my clothes, and watch Pride and Prejudice before going to bed," Susan grumbled. Without waiting for Minni to respond, she grabbed her coat (that was basically the only thing she had picked out- it was her favorite black coat with a ton of silver buttons) and pulled it around her body, then walked out into the chilly night.

She had to walk back to her dorm. Minni had the money to hail a cab, and she wasn't about to go back into the club and ask her drunk best friend for the money. So she decided to walk. Plus, it would help her gather her thoughts.

In spite of herself, she started to think about the day she had had to leave Narnia. And leave Caspian. And this time, she let herself melt into the flashback- she let herself embrace it and live in it…

Flashback…

She sat on a rock, watching the sun slowly set. Any minute now, she would have to get up and walk to the tree. Where she would be sent back. And never to return.

Aslan had told her and Peter what was happening. She had accepted it. She was raised to accept things no matter what, and to regret them later, when no one was around. She was logical, she was smart. She knew that mentioning this to anyone would be the wrong thing to do.

And still, she did not feel like she was accomplishing anything. She did not feel good about hiding the fact that she would never return to Narnia.

She did not cry. She would save that for when she got back to England.

She heard someone call her name, and she turned. Her heart sank. It was Caspian. Oh, God.

"Hi," she said quietly, her voice high and nervous.

"Hello. Are you alright?"

Susan nodded, though she did not say otherwise. Because she wasn't alright. She didn't know if she'd be alright ever again.

She felt…

End of flashback…

Susan froze, and stopped walking. That was… strange. She remembered everything else so clearly, and yet, with the goodbye flashback, it… faded. No! Impossible! If she had to remember this, why couldn't she remember the damned goodbye?

She heard footsteps, and she froze. She felt nauseated. And she felt a strange sense of déjà vu. She had heard footsteps in her flashback. Or what was left of it. WHY couldn't she remember?

"Hello, Susan."

What? No way. Impossible. It's not. It can't be.

And yet, she had heard that voice before. It was soft. And husky-ish. And had a slight Spanish accent.

Susan turned slowly around, scarcely able to breathe.

Oh. My. GOD.

"No way," she whispered her eyes wide. "Ca… Caspian?"

And that's when she didn't need any more reassurance. She could tell by the way he smiled at his name that it was him. He looked older, but so did she. He looked older, yet he was still the same as he was three years ago.

"But… how?" she asked, feeling her face slowly slip into the shy smile she had worn on the first day they had met.

"I came into your world about a year after you left. By accident. And I have been looking for you ever since."

This was like something in Susan's romance novels. It was so incredibly romantic and amazing.

She walked slowly toward him, and soon was enveloped in his arms. She was so amazed that just moments ago, she was cursing the idea of Narnia and him. She had a feeling that she hadn't really been angry or forgetful. She had a feeling she had always thought of him, just in the far back of her mind. Because she hadn't wanted to feel unhappy. Even though she had been.

She had remembered.

And that was all she needed.