Title: The Christmas List
Author: Clannadlvr
Rating: PG
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Prompt: for Lunarwolfik and aelora's Holiday Carol Fic Exchange using lyrics from "The Greatest Gift of All": "Dawn is slowly breaking/our friends have all gone home/you and I are waiting/for Santa Claus to come."
A/N: Yes, I know this doesn't seem like Clex at first…but trust me, it is. Wee!Lex and his effect on adult!Lex just popped into my head after I read Lunarwolfik's lyrics. Lunar- I hope you like this!
Alexander Luthor knew, without a doubt, that there was no such thing as "Santa Claus."
Or, at least that had been Lionel Luthor's misconception.
Lex could remember the conversation so clearly, even more than twenty years later, that had convinced his father that he knew the Rockwellian fantasy of Father Christmas to be impossible.
He'd come home from private school- his first one as he'd been too young and unaware of illegal substances to get kicked out of it yet- with a few questions that he needed his father to answer. Squeezing himself between a conference call and a board meeting, Lex had gotten his father's attention and demanded, "Who is this Santa Claus the other children believe in and why have you never told me about him?"
Oh, he'd known about Santa Claus of course, a figment of childhood imagination propagated by marketers and merchandisers to control the American consciousness, increasing profit margins. But Lex had never heard of this Santa Clause the other children described, a jolly old man who made seemingly impossible wishes come true, a truly magical being who knew the hearts of little girls and boys.
That description certainly hadn't been a part of Lionel Luthor's version of a bedtime story.
The two versions of the Santa Claus story were certainly incongruous and even at the tender age of seven, Lex Luthor was not used to encountering puzzles he could not solve. So he researched, questioned, ruminated, and formed hypotheses after hypotheses. But still he was at a loss. Was Santa Claus real after all? Could it be possible that his father was wrong?
Usually, Lex feared asking his father a question- Lionel would harangue him for not fully investigating his subject, rendering his inquiries a lazy way of increasing his knowledge. But Lex had looked at the subject from every angle and still couldn't come up with an answer- that meant that there had to be some information to which he didn't have access. And who better to ask than the man who seemed to have more secrets at his fingertips than Midas had ingots?
So Lex gummed up the courage and, in the accusatory manner his seven year old self had recently adopted, demanded to know the information about Santa Claus that had been kept from him. The other children must know something he didn't if they were so easily convinced.
"Who is this Santa Claus the other children believe in and why have you never told me about him?"
Lionel paused in the midst of reading a file and looked down his bespectacled nose at his son. The gaze was intense and intimidating, but Lex stood his ground, never wavering. That first test passed, Lionel rounded his desk and addressed him.
"Why do you think more knowledge is needed to disprove Santa Claus's existence?"
"Well…how else will I disprove his existence? I have equal amount of evidence on both sides and am unable to come to a final assessment," Lex replied.
Lionel simply smiled. "A valid point. But let's test the validity of your evidenced based on the laws of science, shall we?"
Lex's pulse quickened. Even though most of children his age thought chemistry sets were terrible playthings, to Lex they provided hours of thought provoking entertainment. Science was already well on its way to becoming his religion.
Lionel certainly recognized the gleam in his son's eye and asked his questions accordingly.
How could Santa Claus visit every child in the world on one night?
Even if time travel were possible, how could he locate each child through every possible type of terrain, topographical and geographical location?
Yes, geosynchronous satellites were a probable tool, yet how did Santa Claus facilitate his operation before such technological advances?
And how could he load all of those presents into his sleigh?
How did he make the sleigh fly before the invention of rockets and motors?
Even if all of the above were possible, how could an incredibly fat man fit his girth and his load of presents into chimneys- and how did he get into homes that did not have chimneys?
The questions went on and on…every time Lex seemed to come up with a scientifically plausible answer, his father was able to counter that argument with a fact of time or physics that made it impossible.
To Lex's way of thinking, there was only one other possibility…but he dare not mention it to his father. Besides, it wasn't really possible, was it? So he took his father's word, bowed his head at the reprimand for not fully thinking through his arguments before coming to Lionel, and with surprise accepted the slight commendation of the thoroughness of his responses to his father's continual questions.
Alexander Luthor walked out of his father's office sure that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.
Well, at least 95 sure.
Because…there was still that possibility that he dare not mention to his father. But there was someone he could say it to and not worry about recriminations…
The door to his mother's dressing room was ajar and he watched in silence from the hall as his mother drew her ivory comb through her thick brown hair. Stroke by stroke, Lillian separated the knots from her tangle-free locks gently with a soft smile on her face. She was beautiful and peaceful Lex thought to himself, not knowing that in a few short years that placid picture would be marred by depression and desperation. But now she was his stunning, untouchable center of warmth that banished nightmares and held him as he cried over his father's disappointments.
She was his mother.
So he walked into the room when she beckoned and recounted the conversation he'd had with his father. She listened, watching him from the reflection of the mirror in front of her as she combed and separated, giving an imperceptible nod here and there. When Lex finished his description of his debate with his father she gently laid down the comb and turned to him.
"Yet even after all your father's carefully prepared arguments, you still feel there is something missing. Isn't that right, my Prince?"
Lex blushed at his mother's endearment, beginning to feel the embarrassment that comes with the growing knowledge that your mother cannot be your mother forever and that someday you will have to be a man without her.
"Yes, Mother. I want to know…is it…well…it shouldn't be possible…yet…"
Lillian's eyes seemed to light up from within.
"You want to know if all of Santa Claus' abilities would be possible if there was such a thing as magic," she stated rather than asked.
Lex's heart swelled at the way his mother seemed to know his inner thoughts with no effort at all. He whispered, forgetting his shame in front of his father in light of the wonderment of his mother,
"Yes."
"Ah, little Alexander," she said, opening her arms and enveloping him in a softly perfumed embrace. "Sometimes a child can feel and see what an adult cannot. You think your father is always right, don't you?"
Lex nodded against the silk of her robe.
"I won't rob you of that illusion quite yet, little one," she said softly, "yet I shall tell you a secret that your father does not know."
Lex pulled away in shock. There was something Lionel Luthor did not know? If knowledge was power as he'd so often been told…
He waited eagerly for his mother's confession.
She drew him close against her and whispered in his ear, "Magic is indeed possible. It brought me to you, more than biology and nature could ever hope to achieve. And if you," she pushed him away slightly to look in his eyes, "are standing in front of me, then imagine all that is possible. Magic has given me my greatest gift. Why couldn't it do that for all the people of this world?"
Lex was shocked at the implications of his mother's statement, but forced himself to think through them logically. If magic was a possibility…and could affect change beyond the laws of science, then there was a chance…just a chance…that a jolly fat man in a red suit could visit all the world's children in one night.
"How do I test whether Santa Claus is magical?" Lex asked.
His mother laughed, a beautiful shimmering sound. "Ah, my little scientist. Well, if you wish to see if Santa Claus is truly possibly, then think in your heart of hearts what you wish for the most in the world. Then wish for that and see if it comes true."
"Really?" Lex asked. It was as simple as that?
"But of course," his mother said seriously, "you'll need someone to verify your results, so you'll need to tell someone your wish so that they can analyze the results independently. Scientific accuracy is imperative, you know." Later in life Lex would see his mother's machinations for what they were, but their careful coding in the language of his burgeoning faith won him over effortlessly.
"Can I tell you?" Lex asked, his voice full of wonder.
"I'd be honored," his mother answered and gathered him in a hug once more.
And each year he'd always received his heart's desire- a speedboat, a box for his fears, a baby brother…until the magic wore out and his last wish went unfulfilled.
As they lowered Lillian Luthor's casket into the earth, Lex Luthor abandoned all thoughts of magic and embraced only the cold, hard certainty of science.
Lionel Luthor's misconception that his son didn't believe in Santa Claus became a reality.
It was funny, Lex reflected as he watched his guest pace uncomfortably in front of the windows of his penthouse, that he'd begun to rethink that decision to no longer believe in Santa Claus that he'd made long ago.
In a rare moment of sentimentality, ruminating over a photo of his mother, Lex had remembered that conversation he'd had with her at her dressing table years ago. He'd looked out the window of his office at the far off Christmas decorations on the streets of Metropolis below and thought about the debate over Santa Claus. For a moment, he'd indulged in the exercise his mother had suggested, closing his eyes, picturing his heart's desire with all his might, and wishing.
When his eyes had opened, he'd found himself looking at his mother's face and before he'd known it he'd told the picture of his mother what he'd wished for. Then he'd shaken off his fanciful mood, replacing his mother's picture on his desk and thinking no more of the impossible wish he'd made.
But now, standing in his penthouse sipping scotch slowly from a crystal tumbler to steady his nerves, he couldn't help but think for a moment that maybe his disavowal of Santa Claus had been too hasty. Of course there were logical explanations for the presence of a person in his apartment who had cut him viciously from his life not a year before. He'd been invited to Lex's penthouse along with numerous other guests, though that invitation had been sent without any hope of an R.S.V.P. in the positive. Maybe he wanted something…maybe he was here to accuse Lex of some new atrocity, some new crime against humanity that could make a cub reporter's career…but…yet…
The man in front of him was neither conniving nor angry. In fact, he looked nervous…and expectant?
A little flurry of hope began in Lex's heart where only the forced acceptance of a life alone had existed before.
Because now all the guests were gone and Lex was alone with what he had wished for in that moment of nostalgia in his office.
His heart's desire.
Lex settled his drink on the sideboard, commanding his hand not to shake as it wished, and steeled himself for the conversation to come. But he couldn't help but be a little bit hopeful. Maybe Santa Claus had come after all.
There was only one way to find out, he decided.
"Clark. I'm glad you're here."