Got a MALFOY as my SEX TOY
Did you
ever have a craving
for a
MALFOY
as your
SEX TOY?
...Think a ROOKWOOD
sure does LOOK GOOD?
...Does a BULSTRODE make you EXPLODE?
Sometimes
I want a RIDDLE
for a FIDDLE
in my MIDDLE.
Somehow
I have these urges
quite a LOT
around a NOTT.
And that SNAPE
peeling a GRAPE!
I will
not let him
escape.
That's the
kind of House
we live in.
There's a GOYLE.
Pass the OIL!
And this
FLINT
Tastes like
MINT.
And they're
open to
a hint.
Some of them
are merely pleasant
Like this
CRABBE
I can
GRAB.
But
that
ZABINI
in
a
BIKINI!
Some are pleasant.
Some are FAB.
I like my
BADDOCK
in a
PADDOCK.
And MULCIBER
spread out on FUR.
But that PANSY
Whom I FANCY...
I'd do
EVERYTHING
with HER!
Ah, dear DERRICK!
Esoteric.
He's good fun
to have about.
And that
BLETCHLEY
sure can
STRETCH ME...
Him
I couldn't
do without!
The only one
I'm really fond of
is the CROUCH
on the COUCH.
And that GREENGRASS
with the MEAN ARSE...
I would like him
to say OUCH.
Yes, it was a magic moment
when young HIGGS discovered PIGS.
And when BOLE
found the TROLL -
We all watched
and shared a grin.
That's only
a small part of
what goes on
in Slytherin...
...Though you STARE
I do DECLARE
we can SHARE!
Try MACNAIR
with the HAIR
in MID-AIR.
Over HERE.
Over THERE.
...And a ROSIER
makes things COSIER...
...and
AVERY
is
so
SAVORY...
...and this PUCEY -
he is JUICY.
I don't care
if you believe it.
That's the kind of House
We live in.
And we hope
we never leave it!
Note: If you liked this, you're invited to check out my other two HP Seuss parodies. [/shameless plugging]
If you hated this... just hex me, and have a nice day. :D
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Neither do I intend any disrespect for the work of Dr. Seuss, or infringement of the relevant copyright.