A message from your author...
First, thank you for giving this little story a chance. I do hope you enjoy it. I'm not new to the world of creative writing, but this is my first fanfiction. I realize there are probably plenty of grammatical errors, misspelled words, and comma splices. Over time I will comb through and fix them. Second, I wrote this little number a few months back when the manga was sending Sasuke for story time with the First Hokage. I kind of figured that was to give Sasuke the choice to defend or destroy the Leaf village, and I couldn't help but wonder how things would play out if Sasuke stayed with the dark side. I kind of assumed that you, the reader, are up to date on the manga thus far. Just in case you aren't I try to leave out spoilers nonessential to my story. Thirdly, I welcome constructive criticism and only ask that it be constructive and not complaining, bashing, whining, etc. I feel like I have a firm grasp on what my strengths and weaknesses as a writer are, but I strive to improve. So please, let me know what you think. Finally, the Naruto brand. You don't own it, I don't own it, and if any of us did we probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it. Again, thanks and enjoy!
"Dialogue" ... "Stressed/Demonic" ... 'Thoughts' ... Flashback
The sky was grey, cloudy, and dead. No birds could be seen flying. Although it was obvious clouds were there, no discernible shapes or outlines could be seen. The great expanse was shapeless and void. Its color was an expressionless grey. Not a dark grey that would convey an anger equal to nature's fury, and nor was it a light grey that would mirror the anticipation of the coming storm. The sky simply looked dead.
'Lifeless and dim, just like her eyes.'
Rain poured forth from the sky in a steady and even flow. It was neither too heavy nor too light. Just enough for several drops of rain to streak down the face of a lone man. It rolled off his face like tears as he stood staring into the sky, remembering the reasons for what he was about to do.
'Streams of pain and sorrow pouring down her cheeks.'
The cold was biting. Constantly, it gnawed at his every extremity only amplified by the rain and the occasional gust of wind. His gaze fell from the sky and dropped toward the large stone he stood a few feet in front of. Carved into the face of the rock were countless names. It was the names of the fallen that decorated the stone. His eyes darted across its surface, searching for one name in particular. His body betrayed the mood he was in as it shivered once the cold air lashed at him once more. He recomposed himself and began adjusting to the cold as he tried his best to appear detached.
'Cold, like her hand upon my face.'
His blue eyes scanning, searching, for the one name that mattered to him right now. He knew that it had been added to the memorial's list not but two days prior. He had not been in attendance. This was partly because he had been preparing his next move, but mostly because he couldn't bear watching another ceremony to honor her memory.
'Just another memory that would forever remind me of her death, and my failure.'
Then he saw the characters on the wet, polished chunk of earth and sighed. The water was filling the carving and deep down he knew he had to try to explain himself to her, and to the small audience that was waiting in the shadows. Searching for words he closed his eyes and hoped that she could hear what he had to say.
"Sakura," another sigh escaped his lips as his words whimpered out.
"Sakura, I am so sorry," Tears were building up. He was thankful that the rain would mask them as he continued, "All of this my fault. You paid for my failure with your life. I never once wanted to imagine that Sasuke had become so warped, twisted, and evil. Everyone tried to warn me, and I guess deep down I knew, but I never wanted to listen. Itachi told me it was possible when we first spoke. Gaara explained I would have to handle the situation as a Kage not as a friend, and you," he stopped, unable to finish the immediate thought.
His breath hitched. He had failed in fighting back the onslaught of tears and was merely trying to save face by not breaking down right now. He closed his eyes and drew in a slow, deep breath, and tried to collect himself.
"You," he continued "you tried to get me to quit. You tried to tell me to give up, but I guess some things just don't change easily. I just had to continue my quest, my fool's errand. I was so desperate to save a friend, a friend who never wanted to be saved. I didn't want to go through it alone so I told you that you were lying to yourself and I filled your heart with false hopes and grand delusions."
Pausing once again he gathered his thoughts. He never did have the gift for giving speeches, he just bore out his soul for people and that usually worked. "Then when it really mattered, when you really needed me to be there, I wasn't. I couldn't save you. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't strong enough," He was on the verge of a total emotional collapse and began breathing in slow, painful breaths. He couldn't help but recall how that he had been entirely powerless in the moment of her passing.
'The confessions are over, just one last apology then I'll tell her what I need to say. Just need to be strong and remember the reason for doing this.'
"I am truly sorry Sakura, for everything. I made you a promise one day so many years ago. I haven't forgotten. It was the promise of a lifetime. I will never forget the promise I made, and I just wish you would have been alive to see it fulfilled. Right now I would much rather spend the rest of my days as a failure and a liar in your eyes if it meant you were still here. We rarely get what we want though, and as it stands I never go back on my word." Once more closing his eyes he had found it. The purpose, the drive, the commitment, and the anger that brought him to this place had all become clear again.
"I will find Sasuke. I will bring him back to you. I will not be setting foot in this village again until it is done," With his lofty resolution firmly stated he began to feel the weight of held back emotions lifting. He heard a few faint gasps behind him. Had he not been listening for reactions from the small group of eavesdroppers their shock would have been missed. He allowed a small smirk to form on his face slightly pleased by the fact that he could still live up to his unpredictable reputation.
Closing his eyes he crouched down and let his hand rest upon the stone. Rubbing his fingers over the slick surface and the various markings he tried to find her name with his hand. He wondered if the five people hiding behind the tree line were more shocked that he would still be fulfilling a promise made to a woman now dead, or that he wouldn't be returning to the village until the deed was done. His fingers traced the characters forming the name HARUNO SAKURA.
'This last time when you said it, it was the truth. I think the time before that was true also, but this time there was no motive behind it. It was just the truth plain and simple. I will do what you asked of me. I will fulfill my last promise of a lifetime, but not until I finally finish the first one.'
"I will always love you Sakura," he whispered opening his eyes and standing up once more, blissfully unaware that the words that had filled his heart slipped past his lips.
A firm hand rested upon his shoulder and was quickly accompanied by a soft yet concerned voice, "Naruto," it paused, "there are better ways to honor her memory than carrying out a promise that she regretted having you make."
"A promise is a promise Kakashi-sensei, and I do not intend on breaking one. No matter the circumstances," Naruto responded not moving from his position in front of the memorial stone.
"Listen Naruto, I know this all started with the best of intentions, but it tore her to pieces to see him go mad with revenge. It broke her further when she watched you face death just to try and make her happy," Kakashi paused, waiting for a reaction and found none so he pressed forward. "You do know right? How she felt about you I mean. You do know how much you meant to her don't you?"
"Yeah Sensei, I know. That is exactly why I can't let this one go. I have to do this," Naruto answered with a quiet resolve in his voice.
"Sasuke has no desire to return. The only reason he would come back to the village would be to burn it to the ground, you know that."
"Yeah Sensei, I know. The whole Sasuke thing has gone on long enough though. With what has happened now I can't treat it like I have in the past. Just waiting until he shows up at the village gates is only going to cause more problems. I have to go. I have to find him and settle this once and for all. I made Sakura a promise and even though I know I should have never made it, I never go back on my word. I will see it through," Naruto said with a reserved boldness which Kakashi knew to be a statement that nobody would stop him from accomplishing his self-appointed mission.
Sighing once more and accepting his own defeated attempt to keep Naruto from his plans, he prepared himself for the next leg of the conversation. "Before the end, Sakura saw in you what she had always dreamed and wished Sasuke would become. She saw a brave, powerful, shinobi. She saw a man who was fierce, fierce against every enemy, a fierce defender of his loved ones, fiercely loyal, and even a fierce romantic. When she was younger that was what she thought Sasuke was. As her eyes were opened, that was what she dreamed Sasuke would be. As the years grew on, she learned two things. The first was that Sasuke, despite being in love with him, was walking a path that she could never follow. The second thing that she realized was that you were the man that she had always desired. If you walk through the village gates searching for vengeance the same way he did, she would never forgive you."
"Yeah Sensei, I know."
"Then don't do this Naruto. Don't follow in Sasuke's footsteps, don't make the same mistakes. Don't blacken your soul with hatred, vengeance, and death. Don't go chasing revenge," Kakashi calmly pleaded hoping that Naruto would relent from his quest for blood.
"I have spent a lot of time thinking about this Kakashi-sensei," Naruto stopped and searched for the words to match both his resolve and his mission's purpose. Kakashi waited patiently as an eerie quiet settled over the pair. Naruto slowly turned to face the man he had known to be a teacher, a mentor, and a friend. There are some things that have to be said while you are looking a person in the eye. As far as Naruto was concerned, this was one of those moments.
"I wanted revenge when I saw the blade piercing her chest. I wanted revenge as she was trying to calm me down, and prepare me for the inevitable end. I wanted revenge after she said her last words. I wanted revenge when her last breath left her lungs and the light in her eyes faded away. I wanted revenge when they buried her. I wanted revenge when I learned that there were no plans to immediately pursue Sasuke. I wanted revenge for little while. So two days ago, after they carved her name into this stone, after I learned rumors regarding Sasuke's whereabouts and started verifying his next steps, after I tried to drink myself to oblivion," Naruto recounted the moments that he wanted to strip the life from his former comrade just because he thought he would feel better afterward.
"Naruto," Kakashi interrupted with a parental harshness in his tone of voice that would have startled Naruto if he had not already expected it.
"Don't worry Kakashi," Naruto said with a small chuckle forcing its way out, "It was the first and the last time. Anyway, I don't really remember how my thoughts got there while I was drinking, but I realized what you just said." Naruto closed his eyes pausing again. Once more he found his drive, his will, his righteous fury, and the words to express them.
"I won't follow Sasuke's path. I have overcome it before. I wanted revenge for Jiraiya after he died, but when I had the chance I never took it. I know if I acted out in revenge the Sakura would never forgive me for it. So I won't look for the revenge I desired Sensei. No, I want justice, justice for the Leaf, and justice for Sakura. Sasuke has committed crimes against this village, against his comrades, against you, and against Sakura. I'm not even going to start on the crimes he committed against other villages. I will see justice done. I promised Sakura I would bring him back, but I never promised he would come back alive. Sasuke must pay for his crimes, and one way or another, he will pay for them with his life," Naruto stated with barely contained passion.
Kakashi could not deny the fire in Naruto's eyes. He knew that Naruto meant every last word. Huffing out a great sigh Kakashi understood he could not make Naruto sway, and he would no longer try to.
"Well, you are right after all," Kakashi replied with a frustrated breath. "Even if Sasuke wanted to come back peaceably he would be executed. Sasuke has killed an acting Hokage and a former teammate; there can be no redemption for him here," and though he knew he could not stop Naruto from going to confront his former teammate he could not let him go without some form of assurance.
"You promise me that this is not for revenge," Kakashi softly demanded.
"I promise you Kakashi-sensei, this is not for revenge," Naruto answered. There was no deceit to be found in his countenance.
"Very well then," Kakashi answered as a sign of his consent and trust.
"I'll make progress reports and have them delivered to Tsunade weekly."
"Good, we can't have the village thinking that its greatest hero has gone rogue. Good luck out there, and do give Sasuke my greetings." As he gave his best wishes, Kakashi handed Naruto a small tube shaped package wrapped in cloth.
Unwrapping the cloth Naruto saw a sheathed tantÅ with a circular guard. Removing the blade from its sheath he found the it to have an almost unnatural silver gleam. Holding it up he allowed his chakra to flow into the sword and it seemed to have an inward glow that pulsed with a white-silver aura. Naruto gasped slightly when he realized what he held. "The White Light," he whispered, "Sensei I thought you said the blade was broken."
"Things can be repaired you know," Kakashi said with an unseen smile, "I want you to have it. I know that you want to handle this on your own and I respect that, but what Sasuke has become is partly my fault. I was far too flippant about his motives and his attitude. It is time that I step up and take responsibility for my failures as the Sensei of Team Seven. So consider this to be me helping you in the fight to come."
"I don't know if I can take this Sensei. I mean, this is your father's sword. Besides it just kind of makes it all feel a little like I am getting revenge for you," Naruto said skeptical of the gift and it's intentions.
"Either you take it or you take me," Kakashi said with a look in his eye that relayed the fact he wasn't taking no for an answer. "Either way, I want you to have it. Your father did so much for me and I have done so little for you, so I want this to be the symbol of me making up for all that lost time."
"Don't get all moody on me Sensei, you have done plenty for me. If it wasn't for you I would still be an academy brat trying to do everything on my own instead of becoming a part of a team. I wouldn't have learned what true strength was if it wasn't for you. I'll use it if it really means that much to you, but it still sort of seems like a symbol of revenge or something," Naruto explained still examining the sharpness of the blade before returning it to its sheath.
"Well, if it helps just think of it as poetic justice," Kakashi offered as an alternative thought. Naruto nodded his head in understanding.
"I'll see you again soon Sensei."
"Be careful Naruto," Kakashi said knowing the irony of telling a man going to battle to be careful.
"I will," and with his final assurance spoken Naruto leapt away, strapping the blade to his back as he moved toward the village gates.
"I'm sorry too Sakura. I could have, no, I should have been a better teacher and mentor to both you and Naruto. Despite what he said I know that I have done both of you wrong," Kakashi said quietly while watching his last loyal student leave.
"I take it he is leaving then," the voice of Tsunade rang in his ears.
"Yes, he has probably left the village by now," Kakashi answered.
"Damned fool," Tsunade muttered only half meaning it, "At least tell me you know what his feelings are on the matter. I can't have him winding up like Sasuke. It's bad enough that he is doing what Jiraiya did, just leaving the village never knowing when or if he'll return."
"He's not after revenge; he just wants justice brought to Sasuke. I think the only reason he is going alone is because he knows what we all know. Naruto is the only one of us who really stands a chance against Sasuke at this point,"
"At least I have that much," Tsunade sighed as Kakashi turned and met the gaze of his commander finding a mixture of frustration and worry. "Naruto, you pain in the ass."
"He sure is isn't he," Kakashi said absentmindedly while quietly laughing as he reminisced about all the trouble Naruto had brought to him over the years.
"You don't know the half of it Kakashi," Tsunade snorted out a bit of a laugh, "This little stunt of his is going to create so much work for me. I'll have to forge some mission papers for him, file tons of paperwork regarding the mission and all of the weekly reports that he had better be sending me, and to top things off I will get to deal with a panicked, slightly angry, council when they learn he just took off. When Naruto gets back I'm going to string him up by his toes and use him as my personal punching bag."
"Still, I don't think I would want him any other way," Kakashi said as his masked face rose toward the sky. The rain began to stop as Tsunade begrudgingly agreed.
"Just come back safe," Tsunade said to an absent Naruto as he dashed across the trees in the forest surrounding the Village Hidden in the Leaves.