This was pretty hard for me to write. I am not the biggest Rollisi shipper out there, I only really ship them as bropt; and I usually write Amanda has les/bi character. So I tried really hard on this request, and hopefully you all enjoyed it. And as always, I do not own the rights to Law & Order: SVU.

The sun began to set on chilly April evening. The grass was greener than usual during this time of year, and the flowers had already bloomed. The breeze mangled his hair while sending a goosebumps down his bare arms. His eyes lost at the gravestone in from of him. The memories that flashed in his head replayed the night that he had lost her. A year ago to this day, he had received at the call from his fellow officer.

He remember waiting at the fancy Italian restaurant for her, nervous. He remember looking at his watch every few minutes while the waiters kept stopping asking him if he needed anything. Sonny remembered how he played with the ends of his selves that night, making sure it nicely placed under his blazer. He remembered the burning hole that was radiating on his left pocket, the small case with the single diamond ring that he had brought a few months prior.

It was a year ago today he was going to propose to her. He remember the call, the one that told him about the car accident. He remember running down the halls of the hospital to meet her parents,where he cried and waited with them. Sonny remember how his world froze and every noise around him muffled, how only words that rang in his head were "I'm so sorry but she didn't make it" and everything became a blank after that.

Sonny stood in front of the grave site where his Madison laid peacefully. His blue eyes mesmerized by the engraved stone, the memories of their relationship flooding through him. He didn't cry anymore, and he felt guilty for that. His heart didn't ache like it use to, his world is no longer broken. He found his strength. Sonny felt guilt for feeling at peace, he felt guilty he had moved on. That he can now sleep at night without tears shed. That his soul no longer felt incomplete.

He got down to his knees and laid Madison's favorite roses on her stone. His fingertips tracing her name delicately.

'Maddie, I miss you' he whispered. 'I will always love you but my heart now belongs to someone else. You brought her to me.' He choked out as he tried to hold his tears back.

He brought his hand up to his lips, and single kiss before placing it back onto the stone. ' Thank you for bringing her to me. Thank you for allowing me to feel again. Don't ever forget that you're my number one. Always.'

Sonny stepped into the warm small apartment and was greeted by a friendly dog. He turned as he heard the door shut behind him. He watched her step closer to him, her arm wide open for him. He fell into her warm embrace, the comfort that he called home.

'How was it?' She asked as she pulled away from him.

'Good. Um- Maddie and I had a good talk.'

He quickly felt himself melt at the sight of her warm smile. How her blue eyes showed empathy and understanding.

'Good.' She replied before making her way to her small kitchen. 'Do you want coffee or something?'

Sonny walked over the living room and sat on of the loveseats. ' No, thanks.'

Amanda nodded and poured herself a cup off coffee. Sonny couldn't help but watch her. The simplest action made him feel something that he had only felt with Maddie. The way she got on her toe when she couldn't reach for coffee mug, no matter how many times he had told her to placed them in first shelve but she insisted that the mugs go in the third shelve. He found himself lost in the way she would push back a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, it was a simple act but it brought some sorta of tingling feeling to him. The sound of her moan when she took her first bite of his mom's homemade cannolis, the way her eyes rolled at the delicious pastry that satisfied her craving.

Amanda was the only one beside his family to be there for him after Maddie's death. The sudden death brought them together, it was Amanda to came up to him and offer her help. It was Amanda who invited him to over to forget, the night they were both at her place drinking and remembering Madison. The night he got drunk and cried his eyes out, cried the memories he and Madison shared together. It was that night Amanda held Sonny has he cried on her shoulders, the night she allowed him to sleep on her bed while she slept on her couch.

The morning after when he was woken by the smell of fresh brew coffee, where his head pounded so hard he swore there were construction men working inside his head. The morning Sonny stepped out of Amanda's bedroom only find her in the kitchen hungover herself sipping on coffee and reading a newspaper as she leaned on her kitchen counter. It was everything she had done.

'What's wrong?'

His trance broke from the sudden question, he was so lost to realize she had sat on the sofa chair next to him. 'Just thinking. Remembering.'

Amanda smiled. 'I know she's happy that you've come this far.'

Sonny eyes flicked up to only get lost in Amanda's piercing blue eyes that stared back at him. 'The only good thing that came out from her death..' he cleared his throat before continuing. ' is you.'

Amanda sat her coffee on her end table, her eyes never left his. "I was always here, Carisi.'

He chuckled, still she used his last name. 'I know but now I can truly see you.'

'Carisi, what are you talking about?' She asked worried.

Without realizing Sonny found himself on his knees in front of Amanda, his eyes penetrating hers; searching for something. His hand held Amanda's small pair. His heart pounding hard as his nerves peaked. Sonny didn't know or how it happen but he found his lips capturing Amanda sweet pair. He became lost at the sweet toxic taste, the vanilla scent of Amanda made him dizzy.

The same light headed feeling he had when he fell for Madison, the explosive heat that came from his belly. But it was different, the feelings Amanda brought out of him was not what he was used to. It was the butterflies that never felt. The chills that always rolled down his spin by her simple touch. The goosebumps that rose whenever she kissed his cheek goodbye. It was her awkward laugh that quickly became his favorite sound. Her horrible taste of country music that he listen to at night when he was away from her. It was everything and more.

Sonny pulled away, and couldn't help but smile at Amanda's frown. His hand placed on her cheek, his thumbing caressing the softness underneath it. His heart exploded when Amanda leaned to his touch but her eyes never leaving his.

'I love you.' He whispered.

Before panic could even set in his lips were captured by Amanda's. Their tongues quickly became one. The kiss was slow and passionate, their held emotions bursted between them. The heat between swifted into one as it radiated out them.

Amanda pulled back from the kiss. She stared deeply into Sonny watery blue eyes. ' I love you too, Sonny.' She whispered.

'I love you.'