The sun was just coming up over the horizon when he stepped out onto the wooden deck. He had his coffee in one hand and the paper in the other as he looked out over the lake that surrounded his home. The early morning dew clung to the grass and the lake causing it to shimmer in the pale light. With a contented sigh he made his way over to the porch swing, placing his coffee on the table beside him before taking a seat. He opened the paper and started to read, reaching for his coffee as he moved the swing back and forth.
He heard chirping in the distance causing him to smile as he looked up to watch a red robin eating from the bird feeder. The feeder and the swing were details that had been included in the original blueprints for the house. He would never forget the attention to detail that had been put into those plans. Just as he would never forget the man who made them, the one who never got to see the house completed. He could hardly believe that it had been five years since the house was built and he had moved in. He would never forget the day he got the call from the contractor looking for Reid. He remembered it like it was yesterday.
It happened two weeks after the tragic accident while he was in Dallas packing away Reid's things. The will had been read a week prior and Luke had been surprised to learn that Reid had left him everything. This was something he had never experienced before, and he was quickly learning how huge a responsibility being someone's power of attorney was.
He was sitting on Reid's brown leather sofa, one of the few luxuries that filled the modestly decorated condo, folding Reid's clothes and placing them in a box. A soft smile crossed his lips as he picked up an old college sweatshirt, his fingers carefully fingering the crimson material as he folded it perfectly. He could just picture Reid walking around the Harvard campus with the sweatshirt wrapped around his shoulders and tied loosely across his chest. Reid looked good in crimson, maroon, salmon…and grey. Luke especially liked him in gray it brought out his eyes beautifully. He was just about to put the shirt in the box when the phone rang.
"Hello?" he asked picking up after the first ring.
"Hello, I'm trying to reach Dr. Reid Oliver?" A man's voice asked over the sound of construction in the background.
A lump formed in Luke's throat and tears formed in his eyes as they usually did when the name was mentioned. "Who's asking?" He asked hoping his voice didn't come out as strangled as it sounded.
"This is Burt Johnson," The man explained. "I've been working with Seth Turner on the plans for the house and I needed to go over the final plans before we start building."
Luke was numb, as he listened to the contractor talk about the plans and what they wanted to do. He knew who Seth Turner was; he was the architect who had worked with them on building the neurological wing at the hospital; the one that now bore Reid's name. What he hadn't known was that Reid was planning on building a house.
"Hello, Dr. Oliver," Mr. Johnson's voice caught Luke's attention. "Do you have time to go over the plans before we start?"
"Actually I'm Luke," he corrected softly. He would not mention that Reid was gone. He couldn't do that over the phone. "I'm Dr. Olivier's boyfriend and actually I would love to see the plans. Would sometime tomorrow afternoon be okay?" The contractor agreed and Luke went back to packing up the rest of Reid's belongings. His heart was heavy as he thought about all the future plans his boyfriend had apparently been making. It made his sudden death all the more tragic…and all the more real.
As it turned out Reid had done more than just start plans for their future. He had it all mapped out on paper much to Luke's surprise. The blueprints for the house were intricate in detail and it warmed Luke's heart to know that his boyfriend truly did listen to him when he spoke. That was evident in every room of the home. The study was roomy and spacious with a fireplace and big bay windows allowing for a lot of sunlight. The east wing contained a wall of windows that looked out on the lake. Luke smiled as he recalled telling Reid how much loved the sunrise in the morning. There was a library with bookshelves covering all walls. Luke wasn't surprised to see that each wall was designated for certain books. Reid's medical journals, Luke's classic novels and literature books, books that they bought together and a wall dedicated specifically to Luke's comic book collection. Their modest collection of movies had their own room along with Luke's endless music collection which spanned every genre from classical to punk. The kitchen composed of mahogany wood cabinets and stainless steel appliances. The floors were made of tile as were the countertops, and the top of the island that sat in the middle of the kitchen. It was very warm and inviting reminding him of his grandmother's kitchen where everyone would sit around and talk, enjoying each other's company.
A smile crossed Luke's lips as he thought about it because he knew that had been Reid's plan. Though Reid wasn't much of the family type he knew Luke was. And so the house was designed with Luke and his family in mind. Naturally Luke told the contractor to go ahead with the plans to build the house, knowing that he would be able to feel Reid's love in every room. He moved into the house in December and it was the perfect place for him to escape to after his hectic days in town. This was his sanctuary. This was his home, where he came to reconnect with the love of his life.
In the beginning it was hard, but he wanted to feel…he wanted to feel Reid. He cried himself to sleep every night, wearing Reid's shirts while clutching his pillow tight to his chest. It took some time, but he finally got to a place where he no longer cried. He embraced and welcomed the memories and cherished them, allowing them to fill his heart with a sense of peace.
Five years later he still thought about Reid all the time, especially at moments like these when he sat watching the sun come up over the horizon. He felt his presence like a gentle breeze as he moved the swing back and forth. Reid was with him as he perused every page of the newspaper, and as he lamented over the day's sports scores. Everything Luke did, from the way he made his bed in the morning to the way he prepared his coffee, was with Reid in mind. He never would have thought to have his coffee black with lots of sugar, but now he couldn't drink it any other way.
He was content with the way things were now. During the day he was the boss, the son, the friend, and the board member. He made decisions, signed contracts, participated in school functions, and even partook in the occasional family dinner. He was present at all functions pertaining to the hospital and the foundation, and every now and again he handled an occasional conference call with the clients who depended on Grimaldi shipping. He owned 65% of the company but he allowed the Board of directors to run everything. His appointed Head handled the mundane every day decisions, leaving Luke to step in only when necessary. Luke always made time for his friends and he loved being the godfather to Chris and Katie's son and Casey and Alison's kids. He and Chris had grown closer over the past five years, and Luke never missed an opportunity to remind him that he had to take care of Reid's heart. He tried to make sure that everyone got a little bit of his time, but by the end of the day he was always ready to go home; back to Reid.
He was captivated by the family of robins that now surrounded the bird feeder. There was always one bird that didn't' want to wait his turn, and he would butt in front of the others to peck at the pebbles of food. He reminded Luke so much of Reid; impatience had never been his best event. He always liked to tackle things head on no matter the cost or the trouble that may arise. That determination always worked out in the end…most of the time.
With one final look at the robins Luke stopped his swinging and picked up his now empty coffee cup to carry it into the kitchen. He was already thinking about all of the things he needed to get done before the end of the day. He had a meeting with the Hospital board at noon, and some paperwork to look over before that. There was a fundraiser that night that he would have to attend, and at some point during the day he needed to get his manuscript to his editor for final proofing before it was sent to the publisher.
He had been very busy over the past five years. With Reid's encouragement he had started taking classes online, and he had even started writing in a journal again. After Reid's death he continued his studies earning his degree and thus daring anyone to question his competency and his ability to do the job. He was also an acclaimed author publishing under the name Oliver Snyder. His first commercial success was bittersweet. With so much going on he had forgotten about his submission to the magazine and had been caught by surprise upon his return from Dallas. He had received a letter from the magazine editor letting him know that his piece would appear in the next issue. He shared the news with Reid and donated the money from the piece to the insurance fund Reid had set up to help families who couldn't afford insurance for their medical care. It was a cause he knew Reid cared deeply about.
He continued to write after that, publishing his first Novel six months after Reid's death. He liked to think that his love was watching over him, and that he was proud. Every now and again Luke spied one of his novels on Katie's coffee table, or sitting on the desk at the nurse's station. He would smile a secret smile glad that people were getting some enjoyment out of his words without having to worry about them knowing it was him. He didn't feel the need to share that with anyone. For him writing was cathartic and very therapeutic, and it was another way for him to keep in touch with his feelings for Reid and about their love. It was their secret and that was okay with them.
He rinsed out his mug and placed it back in the cupboard making sure everything was in place before leaving the kitchen to get ready for his day. If anyone were to ask Luke what his favorite room in his home was, his answer would surely surprise them. There were many spots where he felt close to Reid, but none so much more than the master bathroom. He loved everything about it from the tiled floors to the walk in shower with the glass doors limned in gold. He loved the double sink counter with two mirrors which left plenty of room for all his hair products and his shaving supplies. His prescriptions were stored in the medicine cabinet and there was a soap dispenser and a place for his toothbrush as well. He knew it was silly, but he had placed Reid's toothbrush in its spot beside his. Its presence comforted him, even though he knew it would never be used.
Every morning he took his time in the shower, allowing the pulsating streams of hot water jetting through the showerhead, hitting his back like tiny fingers massaging away all the tensions worries. It always left him feeling refreshed and ready to face the day ahead. Reid used to tease him about his long extended remix versions of a shower all the time, but that didn't stop him from including that feature in the plans for the bathroom. Luke couldn't help but be amazed by the attention to detail his love used in every room. Even the walk in closets in the bedroom were designed with Luke in mind.
Once he was dressed and ready for his day he headed back to the kitchen to toast a bagel. He poured his coffee into a thermos and settled down at the table to look at the mail he had brought in yesterday. There were a few bills, a letter from his financial advisor and an array of catalogs already tooting the holiday season that was still months away. He frowned when a cream colored envelope caught his eyes. He didn't even have to look at the address to know who it was from. It looked exactly like the envelope he received a month ago, and the month before that. In the past five years he had received so many of these missives that he could have wallpapered the wall with them. He wasn't sure what else he could do to get his point across. Sending back the RSVP cards clearly declined didn't' seem to work, nor did repeated requests to stop with the invites. He supposed that there was only one thing he could do this time, and while a small part of him regretted the action he knew it was the right thing to do.
He set the envelope down to finish making his breakfast. The name on the front seemed to mock him as he spread cream cheese on his bagel. It was a name he knew well, but one he hadn't allowed himself to think about in a long time. It hurt too much to think of him as anything more than just an acquaintance. He knew that was probably harsh but it was all he could do. If Noah Mayer called him tomorrow and said he needed him desperately Luke would go. He knew that as well as he knew his name. There was just a limit to what he would put himself through for this man…that had to be there.
His relationship with his ex was nothing short of complicated. After a tumultuous two and a half year relationship that culminated in Noah's accident, Luke made the decision to let Noah go. He had tried to be patient, he had tried to be everything Noah needed him to be but at the end it had been too much. It was hard to stay somewhere when someone was constantly pushing you away.
Even after the breakup he did everything he could to make sure Noah got his eyesight back, including making nice with Noah's doctor. Luke wasn't sure when things shifted between him and Dr. Reid Oliver but at some point irritation and extreme dislike turned into snarky banter and mutual respect. The kiss in Dallas opened up possibilities Luke didn't even know existed. Things seemed to happen so fast after that, and Luke had made many missteps before he realized what was right in front of him.
He couldn't pinpoint the moment it happened, but he couldn't deny that he was in love with Reid Olivier and it was thanks to the handsome doc that he realized that he didn't need Noah to be okay. He could recall telling Noah that he had realized they just weren't meant for each other no matter how much they loved each other. He also recalled that it had been Noah who decided he couldn't be his friend because it would be too hard. That statement, Luke realized, was kinda ironic considering the fact that it was Noah who kept sending the invitations for him to come to L.A.
With a heavy sigh Luke picked up his thermos of coffee and grabbed the envelope off the table. He disposed of it on the way out the door and said a quiet good bye to Reid before heading into the city.
The ride to the city was always a cathartic time for him. He liked the fact that there was just him, the open road and trees for miles upon miles. Reid had chosen this spot on purpose. It was close enough that Luke could hop in the car and be with his family if and when they needed him, but far enough away to give off a sense of seclusion and privacy. He was exactly an hour away from the city. It was enough time for him to psych himself up for the day ahead, and on the flipside it was just what he needed to unwind. His mind would be working overtime in the mornings. IT never failed; he was always starting proposals, calculating figures or trying to figure out the best way to negotiate a deal. Sometimes he wondered how he was able to keep things straight. By the end of the day he always felt like he had gained a little perspective and insight into the man Reid had been. He had a feeling that he would be proud of him.
By the time he parked his car in his reserved parking spot he was ready to face whatever came his way. He walked through the doors of Memorial hospital with his shoulders straight and his head held high. He greeted the nurses warmly and stopped to talk to the doctors and the orderlies as they scurried by. The hospital was always busy but everyone had a moment to talk to Luke, and he always made time for them.
"Good morning, Annie," he greeted as a nurse handed him a file. "How' did your son's game go?"
"It went great, Luke," Annie said leaning against the wall for a moment, a smile playing on her lips. "Bobby's team won the game."
"That's great. Give him a high five for me okay?"
"I will," Annie laughed. "Thanks for asking." She winked before pushing herself away from the wall and continuing on her morning rounds. Luke smiled after her before continuing his way down the hall. He paused when he heard the Chief of staff talking to one of the orderlies. As if the man knew he was being stared at he turned and locked eyes with Luke for just a moment. Luke broke the gaze and slipped into his office, releasing a deep breath as he sunk into his leather chair. There was a lot to do before the board meeting at noon. He sifted through the folder Annie had given him before placing it aside and focusing on the proposals that needed his attention.
By 10:00 he was typing away at his keyboard, his eyes focused on the laptop screen as his fingers raced his brain, transferring his thoughts as quickly as he could have them. He was so deeply engrossed in what he was doing that he didn't hear the door open. A strikingly handsome man with light brown hair, and jade green eyes stood in the doorway holding two cups of coffee. He was slightly taller than Luke with a muscular build and broad shoulders which at the moment were flanked by a white lab coat. He shifted slightly, leaning on the doorframe as he continued to watch Luke for a minute. The younger man was still typing furiously at his keyboard, and the newcomer wondered how long it would be before he realized he had company.
"OH," Luke said when he finally caught a glimpse of the man standing in the doorway. "Dr. Larson, come on in," he greeted standing as the doctor came forward kicking the door closed with his feet.
"I thought you could use a break," he said handing Luke a cup of coffee.
"Thank you," Luke said taking a sip before placing the cup beside him on the desk. "Have a seat," he gestured to the seat right across from him even as he settled down himself. "I've been working nonstop since I got here. I think I can spare five minutes."
"Or ten," Dr. Larson remarked, raising an eyebrow as he took a sip from his coffee cup. "I still think you work too hard, Mr. Snyder. Even board members deserve some time off."
"There's too much to do," Luke said looking at the proposal he had been writing. "I'm meeting with several department heads today to go over their budgets. And I just want to make sure I have everything ready to discuss with them. This negotiation has to be fair."
"Like it could be anything but with you running things," Dr. Larson said the admiration clear in his tone. "I understand wanting to make sure all the I's are dotted and the T's are crossed, Luke. But you have to think about yourself sometimes, you know."
"What's that supposed to mean," Luke asked indignantly. "I do think about myself."
"Really."
Luke sighed dramatically as he crossed his arms in front of him. "I don't think I appreciate your tone, Dr. Larson," he said in his most authoritative voice."
"What?" The doctor asked sitting back in his chair. "Am I being insubordinate?"
"Really, Graham," Luke chuckled. "You have to throw in the big words today? Seriously?"
A smirk crossed Graham's lips as he looked at Luke who was trying hard to keep a straight face. Seconds later they dissolved into easy laughter as Luke settled back in his seat and took another sip of coffee. He was already trying to figure out what else to say to the other man when Graham beat him to the punch.
"Seriously," Graham said taking a sip of his coffee. "How are you doing, Luke?"
Luke sighed, his fingers tracing the outline of his cup as he lowered his head, his gaze reaming focused on Graham. "I got another one today."
"Really? What did you do with it?" Graham asked setting his cup down to give Luke his full attention.
"I threw it out," he shrugged searching Graham's eyes for any sign of reprimand or judgment. He breathed another sigh of relief when he didn't find any.
"How did that make you feel?"
"Honestly, it felt good. I mean maybe that sounds harsh or something but…I just can't go back there, Graham."
"I understand."
"It's like….it's like I know that if he were to need me for something important, like life or death then I would go, in a heartbeat.
"But?" Graham prodded gently.
But I don't think I can do the close friend thing if we're in the same town. I mean I don't have those kind of feelings for him anymore…I don't love him like that. But I remember. I remember that Reid is the reason Noah can see again. He's the reason that all Noah's dreams were able to come true. And I haven't forgotten how he treated Reid after that. I know I should be able to let it go, but I can't and I'm afraid that if I said yes, to more than I can give, then I would grow to resent Noah."
"And you don't want to do that." Graham stated matter-of-factly.
"No…I really don't," Luke agreed allowing a smile to cross his lips once more. "Thank you for understanding that and for putting up with me."
"I hardly think I'm putting up with you, Luke. As I recall I seem to get something out of this deal too."
"Perhaps," Luke nodded his agreement a soft smile crossing his lips. "Seriously though do you think I'm doing the right thing?"
"Well," Graham started his tone thoughtful, "I think you're doing exactly what you should be doing, focusing on yourself and your needs. Only you know what you can handle, Luke, and anyone who tells you differently doesn't know you at all.
"And you do?" he asked with an arched brow.
Graham sat back in his chair crossing one leg over the other, his lips pressed together as he looked at Luke. "I'd like to think I do." Silence followed his response as they shared a meaningful glance. Luke smiled and was just about to open his mouth to speak when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," he said settling back in his chair, taking a sip of his lukewarm coffee.
"Mr. Snyder I was hoping to, go over some…Oh," he stopped sure when he realized Luke wasn't alone. "I'm sorry Dr. Larson I didn't see you there."
"Its okay, Kent" Graham said smiling as he shook the man's hand. "How are things for you today?"
"Things are going great, chief. Thanks for asking. I was just hoping to go over a few things with Mr. Snyder before the board meeting."
"Okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave." He lifted his tall frame out of the chair and picked up his coffee cup. "Mr. Snyder, I trust I'll be seeing you later?"
Luke nodded and watched the older man leave before motioning for the head of the Janitor's union to take a seat. "What can I do for you Kent?"
As it turned out the board meeting was only the beginning of Luke's busy day. The meeting welt well and when Luke left the boardroom he felt like they had accomplished a lot. Reviewing proposals for the foundations was next on his list, followed closely by an impromptu conference call with the overseas vendors in charge of Grimaldi shipping. During the meeting he polished off the turkey sub he had ordered from the deli downstairs and washed it down with a diet coke. After work he stopped by to see his family. He always made it a point to see them as often as he could. If he had learned anything over the past five years it was that time was a terrible thing to waste.
For two hours he allowed his mom to dote on him while his baby sister and brother talked to him about school or the newest foal in the barn. Ethan was excited about playing soccer that year, while Natalie wanted the lead in her school play. Faith shared stories about her classes at Oakdale U, and when his dad came home the two of them settled down for chess and conversation. This was their ritual and it always afforded Luke a sense of comfort. He always felt Like Reid was with him during these games, especially when he used the pawn Reid's uncle had let him have. It was his good luck charm and to this day he always carried it with him in his pocket.
After declining Lily's dinner invitation he hugged everyone good bye and headed out to his car. It was time to start the drive back home. Normally he would have stayed for dinner…he didn't mind eating with his family, but tonight he had plans and he needed to get home to start cooking.
A smile crossed his lips as he turned down the secluded street that led to their home. He loved this part of his commute; the moment when he could leave the worries and the cares of the day behind him and focus on the night ahead. He was looking forward to this evening.
Once he arrived home he parked the car and grabbed the bags from the backseat. Juggling them and the keys in his hands he managed to make his way to his door without dropping anything. He balanced a bag on his hip long enough to unlock his door and tossed the keys into the glass bowl once he was inside. He smiled contently as he headed into the kitchen, placing the bags onto the counter. Almost immediately he started pulling things out, his mind already working on the preparations he needed to make.
He showered and changed while he waited for the water to boil. His hair was still damp and he was comfortable in a pair of faded old jeans and a red t-shirt. He shuffled his bare feet over to the stereo system using the remote to turn it on. The smooth sounds of Euge Groove filled the air and he stood listening for a moment before heading back to drop the lobsters in the huge pot of water he had boiling on the stove.
Euge Groove's Sunday Morning was a gift from a friend, and it was quickly becoming one of his favorite CDs. He was about to pour a glass of Ramey Russian River Chardonnay and paused when he heard the doorbell ring. He smiled knowingly and continued to pour, taking the glass with him to greet his guest.
"Hey," he said greeting him with a kiss before slipping the glass of wine into his free hand. I wasn't expecting you so soon," he said stepping aside so he could enter the house.
"That was a nice greeting, but if you want I could go back out and come back in a few minutes."
"Graham," Luke said laughing despite himself. "Don't be cute."
Graham smiled and took a sip on his wine before remembering that he had something for Luke. "I come bearing gifts," he said holding up the bottle of Premium White Fre. "I guess we both had the same idea in mind."
"Thank you." Luke kissed him softly on the cheek before gesturing for him to follow him into the kitchen.
Graham removed his shoes before following Luke into the kitchen, stopping for a moment to listen to the smooth jazz coming from the stereo. "I see you're playing the CD I got you," He said as he took a seat on a stool, his eyes watching Luke as he filled a flute with Fre.
"Yes, I love it. Thank you." Luke took a sip from his drink before setting his glass down to tend to the lobsters. He placed the lobsters into the water and joined Graham at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Euge Groove is quickly becoming one of my favorite Saxophone players."
"I knew you'd like it," Graham said sipping on his wine.
"Yeah. You have great taste."
"I know," Graham stated giving Luke a meaningful look.
Luke smiled shyly behind his glass before moving to focus on the boiling lobsters.
"Hey is there anything I can do to help?" Graham asked breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.
"You can make the salad," Luke replied without looking up from what he was doing. Graham slid down from the stool and immediately started looking through the cupboards and the drawers grabbing utensils, a bowl and a cutting board. He moved around the kitchen with the ease of a man who was more than vaguely familiar with where things were in Luke's kitchen. Luke smiled contently as he watched him move about, knowing where everything was kept. He grabbed the container from the crisper in the fridge, filled with fresh field greens and spinach they brought from their visit to the Farmers Market just a few days ago, and started making the salad.
They shared a warm glance as they worked together preparing dinner, listening to the smooth jazz that filled the air, as they casually sipped on wine, talking about nothing in particular, spending a nice quiet Friday evening together, enjoying each other's company.
Dr. Graham Larson joined the staff of Oakdale Memorial a little over three years ago when he replaced the former Chief of Staff, the one who got the job intended for Reid. Things didn't work out according to plan and after several board meetings he was asked to resign.
Graham's resume was quite impressive, almost too impressive, or so Luke thought. He was actually surprised when Graham accepted their offer to come aboard and join their team, it turned out to be a perfect fit.
He and Luke worked closely together as Luke was spear heading the Neuro Wing. It was important that everything was designed and ran according to Reid's specifications, it was his "baby" after all and Luke's diligence to see that it was carried out.
Luke and Reid's reputation preceded them. Graham had heard all the stories about the infamous Dr. Reid Oliver and worried if he could live up to his reputation, not only that but wondered how Luke would receive him.
To his surprise they worked well together, working for the common goal; to have the top Neurological Wing in the country, which they did.
Their attraction to each other was evident; not only to them but to the rest of the hospital staff. However, Luke and Graham were so professional at work that no one really knew if they had actually started dating eighteen months ago or if it was just a rumor. Their relationship took on a nice easy going pace. Graham understood Luke's past and his desire to take things slow. It wasn't until eight months ago in the City of San Francisco that their relationship turned intimate.
After sitting in Seminars for two days straight Graham made dinner reservations for him and Luke at 'Meritage at The Claremont.' The restaurant over looked the Bay, and the dining experience was exquisite. They shared a decadent dessert and coffee before taking a leisurely walk around the bay. That night was when they made love for the very first time.
"Luke," Graham' called drawing him back into the present. "Do you want me to melt this in the microwave?"
"Put it on the stove," Luke said referring to the stick of butter Graham held in his hands. "IT tastes better that way."
"Okaaay," Graham replied with a sideways glance.
"Humor me," Luke asked his tone soft as he looked at Graham. Graham watched him for a moment tilting his head to the side before nodding his assent.
"No problem," he said reaching for the saucepan to melt the butter.
"You know what," Luke said a sigh escaping his lips. "It's okay. You can fix it in the microwave if you're hungry."
"It's alright, Luke," Graham assured him with a smile. "If you want it on the stove then that is what we will do." To accentuate his point he moved to Luke's side to kiss him on cheek. Truthfully he didn't mind indulging Luke's whims. Luke smiled adoringly as he watched Graham carefully slice the butter into chunks before placing them in the sauce pan. They continued to carry on light conversation as they finished the dinner preparations.
Graham grabbed the bowl of salad, while Luke followed him to the table carrying the honey vinaigrette dressing tucked securely under his arm and their individual glasses in each hand. Graham stepped back allowing room for Luke to set the dressing and glasses down on the table.
"Hey," Luke said as he noticed the CD had finished playing, "I'll grab the lobsters, melted butter, and silverware and you put on some more music." He suggested.
"Okay, "Graham smiled rubbing his hands together briskly. "Anything in particular?" He asked with a slight shrug of the shoulder.
"Surprise me…" Luke answered with a huge teasing smile.
"Surprise you eh?" Graham laughed tapping his finger to his chin. "I got it…"
"I knew you would." Luke smiled and turned walking over the counter.
"Hey…." Graham called getting Luke's attention. "Come here." He said pressing his lips together tightly.
"Yes…" Luke answered slowly turning around making his way over to his boyfriend. Graham took Luke by the hand pulling him close as he gazed into Luke's big brown eyes. He took the tips of his fingers and gingerly ran them through Luke's hair before pulling him into his embrace. He slowly, as if asking for permission, brought his face to Luke's, until he could feel Luke's sweet breath brush against his own lips and kissed him tenderly on the mouth. Luke closed his eyes getting lost in the moment, feeling a sense of abandonment before Graham pulled away.
"Um…I better change that CD while you set things up in here."
"Yeah…" Luke glanced over his shoulder, "We don't want our dinner to get cold."
"Well…there's always the microwave." Graham teased, his arms still draped around Luke's waist.
"Micro waved Lobster? I don't think so." Luke laughed giving Graham a quick peck on the lips. "Besides we have all night." He winked as he unwrapped himself from Graham's arms.
"You're right we do have all night." He said, his voice taking on a deep and sexy tone.
Graham returned to the kitchen after putting on one of Luke's favorite CD, Graceland by Paul Simon. A smile crossed his lips as he noticed the table was set perfectly. Luke had surprised him; the lights were dimmed and two tall white candles sat in the center of the table.
He took his seat across from Luke placing his cloth napkin in his lap. 'You're incredible you know that?" Graham asked reaching across the table taking Luke's hand into his. A soft smile and a slight tilt of the head was Luke's response.
He and Luke shared a warm glace before he reached for his lobster claw. Luke mimicked him doing the same. He pulled the succulent tender white meat that was cooked to perfection and tipped it into the warm butter, carefully, before squeezing a little lemon juice on it.
"So…" He paused, eyeing Luke before placing the lobster to his lips, "How are you babe?"
"I'm fine," Luke replied stabbing a spinach leaf with his fork. "Just fine."
Graham watched him for a moment before reaching out to place his hand on Luke's wrist. "Talk to me."
It was a gentle command and Luke looked up his eyes meeting concerned green ones. He averted his gaze for the briefest of moments as he tried to collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn't hide anything from his boyfriend. Graham could read him like a book and he really did need to talk about this.
"Thank you for being here for me," he said covering Graham's hand with his own. "I really appreciate you being here."
"There isn't anywhere I would rather be, Luke. "I know how important he is to you."
"It's just…I don't think Noah gets it. Luke shook his head a frown clouding his handsome features. "I wonder sometimes if he even realizes what time of year it is."
"Well that would mean he'd have to think of someone other than himself," Graham remarked his tone neutral as his fingers grazed Luke's hand. "I don't think he is trying to hurt you, Luke. But I do think he's too preoccupied with what's going o with him to pay attention to those little details."
"Those details make a big difference though," Luke remarked with a sigh. "I remember the last time I saw Noah. It was five years ago and we were standing in the place where we first met. I told him to go make that movie, and then I told him that I would visit him on set. Sometimes I feel bad for not keeping my word.
"You shouldn't. You can't help the way you feel, Luke."
"You're right, I can't, and that's just the point. I can't be in the same room with him. Maybe that sounds terrible, but so much as happened. I can remember it all…the good and the not so good. I was there for him," as he spoke Luke's fingers played with Graham's. "I waited for him without fail and there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him. He was the reason I got Reid to town in the first place."
Graham didn't utter a word as he listened to Luke talk about the past and Noah. The topic always surfaced around the anniversary of Reid's death. Usually Luke cut things short, but today it seemed like he really needed to let it all out. Graham was certain the invite had something to do with that.
"I've always been there for him…and I always will be, but I don't feel like I need to be near him. Does that make sense?"
"It makes sense to me."
"I mean if being with Reid taught me anything it was that I have to do what's right for me sometimes."
"That was a very important lesson," Graham commented softly. "I think he would be very proud of you."
"Really?" Luke asked a smile crossing his lips as he gazed into Graham's caring green eyes.
"Of course he would be," Graham asserted. "I know I am." He leaned over the table to kiss Luke softly on the lips. He meant what he said, he was very proud of Luke, and he had no doubt that Reid would be too. Luke exuded strength and determination. He was the reason why the Reid Oliver Neurology wing was such a success. His hard work, his dedication to the project, and his diligence in picking the right staff had helped to make it the best facility in the country. That was something to be proud of indeed. "And I bet I know what he'd tell you to do about Noah."
"Do you?"
"He'd want you to forgive yourself," Graham said his tone serious as he watched Luke dip his lobster in butter. "Let go of guilt Luke, It's not your fault that Noah chooses to wait for a moment that will never come. You haven't done anything wrong. You're just living your life the best way you know how."
"Thank you," Luke said smiling that smile Graham had come to love. "Just thank you."
Graham took Luke's hand into his and leaned in for a sweet kiss. "You don't have to thank me, Luke," he said when they pulled apart. "For anything. You know how I feel about you."
He was silent for a long moment before ducking his head shyly. He did know how Graham felt and he knew in his heart that he felt the same way. After Reid he had never dreamed that he could feel this way again…but everything was so simple with Graham. It was effortless, and he was ready to trust in that completely. He felt that Reid would want that for him.
He met Graham's gentle gaze again, looking at him through his eyelashes as his trademark smile crossed his lips. "Same here," he said giving Graham's hand a squeeze. "Same here."
Graham was awaked by the sun's rays showering his body with its warmth, along with the chirping birds outside the window. He smiled to himself wondering how Luke did it every morning, thinking the birds would drive him crazy…not really though, he had come to love this place. He also knew if he and Luke were going to be together...and they were, this would become a part of him too, for he knew Luke would never leave his home, and he was fine with that.
He glanced around the room noticing the quiet…the still, a contrast to last night. He inhaled deeply, the scent of their lovemaking still lingered in the air reminding him of their incredible night together, but then again all their nights together were just that…incredible. Luke was very passionate, completely giving of himself while making love. He trusted Graham and Graham knew, and respected that trust.
He softly walked through the empty house being lured to the kitchen by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He smiled once he stepped inside. He could tell Luke had gotten up pretty early. On the counter was the coffee mug, Luke sat out for him. On top of the stove were a plate of warm wheat biscuits, Canadian bacon and a bowl of fresh melons, none of which had been touched.
He carefully poured himself a hot cup of coffee stirring in the cream and sugar as the glance out the kitchen window that over looked the lake. He smiled warmly, quietly watching the man…his man sitting close to the edge as he did every year this time. Graham picked up his cup and a warm biscuit and headed out to the porch. He sat quietly in the swing watching respectfully from a distance.
This was Luke's time, his time with Reid. Graham never knew what they talked about; Luke and Reid that is, and he didn't ask. The fact that Luke wanted him here on this special day warmed his heart. Would he always have to share Luke with Reid? He didn't know…and it didn't matter. He knew that Luke had enough love and room in his heart for the both of them.
Luke glanced back over his shoulder as if he expected Graham to be there and smiled. He gave a short wave before pushing himself off the ground. He dusted off the back of his jeans, giving one last look over his shoulder at the lake, shoving his hands in the pocket of his jeans before making his way up toward the house.
Graham stood to meet him, opening his arms to welcome Luke into them as he stepped onto the porch.
"Hey." Graham greeted him warmly.
"Hey." Luke stepped into his embrace getting lost in the comfort of Graham's arms, sighing contently as he rested his head against his strong chest. They stood there for a moment just holding each other until Graham felt Luke pull away.
"You hungry?" He asked as he gently combed his fingers through Luke's hair. A soft nod was his reply. "Good. Come on." Graham dropped his arm down wrapping it around Luke's waist as he led him into the house. "We have a busy day ahead...doing absolutely nothing." He laughed kissing him on the top of the head.