Title: C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips
Author: Lacey
Rating: T
Words:
Pairing: VinRen, implied RudeReno
Summary: Vincent reflects over his relationship with Reno. Companion to Sex Kitten.
Warnings: AU, Highschool age, Angst
AN: Ever since I heard this song (again by OK Go), I decided that it would be a good VinRen story. So…here it goes.
As I lay there, I reminisced about the times that he liked me. One instance in particular, he had just finished some cinnamon candy during the Christmas holidays and when he kissed me, I remember taste. He placed candy kisses on my tongue…it had been fun.
But then he and Rude decided they were going to start something. It was unfair; I hadn't even started to lose my affection for him and he dropped me like a sack of potatoes.
I remember staring into his starry eyes, wondering where he had gone to, if it rained or snowed there. And if it did? I wanted to never trek there, for fear of my elbow acting up in the cold weather.
I'd never felt this way before. Possessive, angry, a drive to succeed no matter what. I was a fool. I remember shoving him off sometimes because I couldn't think about him with his new lover. I was just filth to him that he kept around for some self-destructive reason or another. A skeleton in the closet. I also remember trying to sleep beside him at night, all those nights I made myself stay over at his house, just to be close to him. It was a fool's errand; counting sheep couldn't put me to sleep.
I vowed to myself that one day, someday, he would miss me. He would want me back; he would know that I was perfect for him in every way and he would not stop in his quest to get me back. But I fooled myself. He didn't like me, he didn't want me, and he never would. As I wrote the letter on my death bed, I thought of all these things. I poured my heart out onto the paper, and I shook with anger and sobbed until I was nothing more than a shell of the man that I remembered me starting off being.
I was a wreck when I died. It was all because of that horrible redhead. But…even in death, despite myself, I found I couldn't hate him. No matter how hard I tried…I just couldn't do it. This must be real love. I loved him, I still love him, and no matter what I do I can't seem to stop. Sometimes…I wonder if he misses me. I wish I could pry into his thoughts and figure it out.
I was there for his outburst at the assembly about me. I cried for the first time as a restless spirit. Maybe it was my downfall when I became so needy…so obsessed with him that I had to have him, one way or another. It was a terrible travesty that I had committed. I gave him a shorter life; it banished me to the human world to walk beside him and have him ignore me. He can't see or hear me, he can only know that something is watching him.
I worry about what I have done to him. I have been told that he will live a rather long life; probably to torment me. But when I asked about Rude…the answer wasn't near as definitive. He…will die before Reno will. Reno will suffer because of me, and I will have to sit there and watch it happen. I will not be able to get any peace until he dies…and when he dies, I go to limbo. Reno may wonder why him…why all these terrible things will happen to him. The only answer I could ever give him is that I ruined him; he didn't ruin me half as much as I did him.
AN: Well…um…Vincent is an ANGSTA, right? He's allowed to angst and pine and um…I'm sorry if everyone hates me, now. I didn't mean for it to be this um…rawr, but it just kind of happened. ^^;; I guess it probably isn't as bad as I think it is. You guys will let me know, right?