Chapter One:
What did I have to lose? I had everything already. I knew he would never leave me. All I had to do was say 3 letters and I would have been happy. I had nothing to lose. And now I have absolutely nothing.
It took three days.
Three days to admit my feelings to more than myself. Three days to be broken hearted. But in reality, it took me seven years. Seven years too late. Ten months too late. I was going to be alone. But I was not going to die without regrets. It took another three days to be able to look at him without bawling my eyes out. Three days to be able to work with him again. Three days is a lot better than 7 months. It seems our numbers are 3 and 7. I just hoped it didn't take me seven years to get over him. But that's dependent on if I ever will. He promised 30, 40 or 50 years but looked how that turned out, so I guess I will promise him 30, 40 or 50 years of continued friendship on the surface, but among that would be unrequited love. A love so deep it reaches from my hair follicles to the tips of my toes. No one has held my heart this much, and no one ever will. No matter how irrational it is, I will forever and always be in love with Seeley Joseph Booth, even if he feels nothing more for me than a sisterly friendship.
After two days spent in limbo and a Booth-less lab, Angela knows something's up. Not suspects. Knows. Angela always knows. Much like Booth.
"Alright, Sweetie. What's going on? You've not left limbo in 2 days and Booth hasn't been around either. What went on?"
I release a sigh of defeat before I, metaphorically, spill my guts. "I told Booth."
"Told him?"
"That I made a mistake in May; that my only regret was not accepting his offer. And he said no, understandably. He's with Hannah. He's happy. He… he loves her."
"Oh sweetie."
"I love him, Ange. I know it's not returned, but I can't help it. I love him."
"Hey, how about we go to mine and drown our sorrows in red wine and ice cream? Well, you'll be having wine. I'll be having enough ice cream for 2."
"I'm fine, Ange. I'm fine alone."
"Uh uh. Not like this. I'm not leaving you like this."
"Okay. Come to mine after work."
Angela comes over at 7 and sees two huge tubs of ice cream in front of the couch. We spend the night talking and I spill more to Angela than I have anyone else. I meant what I said. She is like a sister I never had. A mother I lost too young. I tell her in detail of our first case and the feelings that followed me for seven years.
"If you wanted him that much that you kissed him, why didn't you just grab him by the arm and do the nasty with him?"
"I had such intense feelings for him after that one kiss that I didn't want it to be because we were drunk. I wanted it to be because we truly wanted to and not have it come about because we were drunk."
"Oh, sweetie. You really love him, don't you?"
"Y- Yes!" I burst into tears at that and Angela consoles me for god knows how long.