Fragments of Memories:
Chapter One
Every morning I wake up next to her, certain of how I feel but unable to voice it or do anything about it. Since I've known her, I've changed, and I realize I don't like who I am anymore. On the other hand, she saved me, and that is something for which I will always be thankful. It is also the very reason I can't leave her. I don't feel trapped; I am willing to sacrifice my happiness for her, and chose to do so. I'll never allow anything to hurt her the way I've hurt, even if it means I'll suffer the rest of my life for her happiness.
She rolls over beside me on the bed. Her arm stretches across my bare chest in a manner that suggests she wants to be close to me rather than just tossing and turning in her sleep. I run my fingers through her silky black hair as I feel her breath against my chest. We're both awake now, but too tired to open our eyes. This is the only part of my days worth living for. Throughout the night my dreams of not having Rinoa haunt me, and after I'm awake, work consumes most of my time. All I want is to know that I still have Rinoa, and that she is safe and happy.
Although, not everything in life is quite that easy. Especially considering the circumstances. We almost never see each other anymore, between her job and mine. I'm still with Garden working as a SeeD for the next seven months, and Rinoa picked up a job at the hotel here in Dollet. Balamb Garden relocated between Dollet and Winhill for the time being, and since I plan on leaving Garden, I've appointed one of the junior classmen, Mark, to take over my position when I leave. He's really the only reason I'm still there even now.
There's also the issue of children. Rinoa says she's ready to have them, but I think we should wait at least until we're married. And even then I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Besides the fact that we almost never even have time to try (which I'm secretly thankful for), she really wants one. Just one, which doesn't make any sense. If I decide I want a family, I want a big one. I don't want my children ever feeling lonely. I'd either want alot, or none at all.
Regardless of these issues though, I'll find a way to spend more time with her and make her happy. I'll marry her one day.
We nearly jump out of bed as the alarm clock on the nightstand beside us screams at us. Some death metal station. Seifer suggested it to Rinoa years ago, and it definitely does the trick.
"Mmm..." Rinoa moans irritatedly at the alarm clock as I reach over and turn it off without looking.
"Morning," she whispers, smiling before planting a kiss on my lips.
"Morning, beautiful," I return, leaving the bedroom to shower before work.
I involuntarily turn the knob that lets out the cold water. I don't know why I do this because I'm so used to taking hot showers. Yet, I don't bother making the water warmer. I feel the water rise above my toes as I lather the shampoo into my hair. While I rinse the last of the bubbles out, the shower curtain opens, revealing a fully nude Rinoa before my eyes. She steps in but then retreats to the other end of the tub.
"Why in Hyne's name is the water so cold?!" she shrieks.
"Cus I felt like taking a cold shower," I respond, pulling her close to me and kissing her, my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She fights it, shivering, until I turn the hot water on. I hate moments like these.
"She stops shivering and welcomes my kiss, returns it, even. Her hair, becoming more drenched with the warm water, begins to cover her eyes and I tuck it behind her ears as she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into her face. I love this, and I never want it to end, but at the same time it scares me to think this way.
Her hands run down my side along with the hot water, turning me on.
"Babe, I'm late as it is," I warn her before we get too carried away. I kiss her once more and then step out of the shower.