Hello! This was one of Misgiving Writer's Challenges off of her forum. It's a great place to get ideas to write! So go, check it out! But make sure you audition first before doing anything else

This challenge was about making a kitty-sue into a character worth reading about. I honestly don't know how I did, since I also decided to write in a view I have a very hard time with. I believe the beginning was my favorite part, and the rest was iffy. So please read and let me know how I did in a review, with any constructive criticism as I believe I am going to make this into a story. Below is the character with the description.

Hopedawn - A lithe, cream she-cat with a single white forepaw. She has bright blue eyes and looks like a carbon copy of her mother. Her mother, Flowershine, died before she could name any of her cats and so that task was left to her father. She was named because Flowershine always gave her father hope and, when he looked at her, he saw his former mate. She has two other siblings, though they are often treated differently from her. Hopedawn is an out-going and cheerful cat.

When Hopedawn first opened her eyes that morning, the first thing she saw was her father, Swiftclaw, coming into the warrior den. She stirred from her sleep and woke up completely, accidentally brushing against her siblings, Rockshade and Ravenfur. She glanced at them before looking blearily at her father.

"Wake up sleepyhead," he grumbled with a hidden purr. "It's time to eat." As he said it, he gestured for her to follow him outside of the den, presumably to a piece of fresh-kill that was freshly killed, most likely by my father's own claws. Hopedawn looked once more at her brothers before obediently following her father out.

"Here it is, eat up," Swiftclaw mewed, pointing to a vole.

"Father, will I ever be able to eat bird? Rockshade told me it was delicious." Hopedawn purred, hoping it would entice her father into letting her eat it.

"No darling and you already know the reason why."

Hopedawn mewed irritably, "Then enlighten me, what is it? For I am growing tired of you babying me. I'm a loyal warrior of BirchClan and I plan on keeping it that way. And in order to do that, I have to fight and I have to hunt. You can't stop me from living my life; it is what I was born into."

"And if I had my way, you wouldn't even be a warrior! But Flamestar saw fit to make you one, which I see no point of. Can't he see that you are too delicate?" Swiftclaw said furiously.

Hopedawn then recoiled, and thought, I've never seen him so mad before. "Swiftclaw, are you ok?" she murmured, scared for her father.

The tom seemed to grow older, "Yes, I'm fine, just eat your vole and go sit away from the other cats."

The she-cat quickly ate it up and ran to the tree on the edge of the camp and swiftly climbed up into it. Finally, she plopped down on a thick branch that overlooked camp. It's unfair, she thought, that he can judge and push me around, just because I remind him of Flowershine. I didn't even know my mother!

"Boo!" mewed Rockshade into her ear. Startled, Hopedawn screeched, causing every cat in the clan to look up at her, including Swiftclaw. Most cats looked at her in disgust or pity before they went on with their duties. "Got you, didn't I Hopedawn?" said her brother, purring.

"Rockshade!" She then poked her brother, "What are you doing up here?"

"Well, I was hoping we could go out and I could finally teach you to fight hard and vicious. No offense, but your moves are meant only for dodging and running, not attacking."

"But…Swiftclaw said they were the best moves in the clan!"

"Hopedawn, are you serious? You are talking about Swiftclaw you know." He looked at her pointedly.

"That's true," she sighed. "Alright, let's go learn, I want to be able to defend my clan." She then stood up and climbed down the tree daintily. Rockshade quickly slid down to land beside her. Hopedawn looked for Swiftclaw and saw him leaving camp, probably to hunt for her, the useless, gorgeous, lump of fur. She then gestured for Rockshade to follow her and they sneakily went out of camp.

Soon, they reached the training hollow. Luckily, there are no apprentices training, they might ask questions, mused Hopedawn. She looked at Rockshade questionably.

"So what now?" she asked her brother.

"Well, I think we can start with a simple leap and rake. It is the first move apprentices learn, I think."

Hopedawn looked horrified. "The f-fi-first move? Are you messing with me? Is that really how far I'm behind?" she asked with eyes wide.

"Hopedawn, settle down. Yes, it is the first move and no, I am not messing with you. And," he paused," you may be that far behind, but I will teach you all you need to know. And I'm sure Ravenfur will help too. Like, when I'm on a patrol or busy in some other way." Hopedawn just looked at him.

"Um, ok. Leap at me and try to pin me."

Hopedawn stared at her brother for a while before reaching a decision. As she started to circle him, Rockshade crouched down, ready for her attack. Hopedawn feinted, of which Rockshade fell for. As he jumped up, his sister moved to a spot where she could easily grab Rockshade when he landed. It happened exactly as she planned; she managed to pin him as he landed.

"Well done." Rockshade purred. "Now let me up you oaf."

"Oops!" Hopedawn quickly let him up. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry!"

He laughed, "No you're fine! That was great! You were so smart to make me jump! Let's go back now, I don't want Swiftclaw getting nervous or getting angry. Besides, if he shows any more affection to you, I think Ravenfur is going to scream. He is awfully jealous you know. You might want to take care of it before it gets too serious." Rockshade was dead serious by the time he finished.

Hopedawn nodded slowly, eyes wide. Rockshade sighed, looking at his sister. He knew it wasn't her fault but he still wish that she was a different color or looked at least a little different. Ravenfur could be trouble if he wanted, and he had reason to. Both Rockshade and Ravenfur were often overlooked by their father, who had eyes only for their sister. If Swiftclaw could, he probably would mate with her! Hopedawn then looked strangely at Rockshade, who had no clue why.

"Hopedawn, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you snorted laughter; like randomly, out of the blue. It was puzzling." She tilted her head at him before heading back towards camp and her brother quickly followed, lost in thought. They soon reached the border and slipped through, heading back to their respective duties; hers to lie down and rest and his to hunt and patrol and fight.

A/N:

Swiftclaw was Hopedawn's mentor since her previous one retired to the elder den because of an unknown illness. The clan had no more available warriors to train her as they were all occupied with other apprentices or was with kits; the clan had many young cats at the time. So Flamestar allowed Swiftclaw to train his own daughter. However, he didn't really train her at all. He caught all the prey for her to bring back to camp to show she was "hunting" when all she was told to do was wash her fur. So when Flamestar finally made her a warrior, Swiftclaw was furious as she would have to do actual hunting now, with her clan mates. So he went and convinced Flamestar that Hopedawn had the same strange illness and that she should stay in camp. (even though she didn't ). Just a little note ;)