The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has zoomed off somewhere. This is just a mad thought from my mad mind. Nothing too profound here.
Come For The Madness, Stay For The Insanity
"How did the Brotherhood manage to shoot a satellite into space using parts from your car?" Alex Summers blinked.
"I have no idea and something tells me I'm better off not knowing," Scott groaned as he pushed his hand through his head. He was video chatting with his younger brother online with his laptop in the Institute's living room.
"And this is all legal? I mean…" Alex was confused.
"Apparently Magneto signed some legal papers in case their stupid stunt worked overseas saying it was part of Magnetcorp Corporation," Scott waved. "Some kind of phony business he uses. At least it was enough to keep SHIELD and any other government from shooting it down. And since the Professor still insists on having a truce with those lunatics there's nothing we can do about it."
"And what exactly does this satellite do?" Alex blinked. "Shoots lasers or…?"
"No, it's some kind of digital cable satellite," Scott said. "They call it Brotherhood Television Network. It's an online channel and they mostly show stupid clips of their antics and videos they made up over the years. And for some weird reason Martha Stewart has these exclusive shows on their network."
"Martha Stewart? You don't think she's a mutant do you?" Alex asked. "Because if you think about it…"
"No, it's probably some kind of business thing," Scott groaned. "Again I don't know and I don't want to know!"
"Man you guys have some weird stuff happen to you over there," Alex chuckled.
"I just wish you would move to the Institute," Scott said. "We barely spend enough time together as it is."
"Scott we've been over this," Alex said. "My powers are pretty much under control for now and I want to finish high school here before moving to the Institute. From what I've heard about Bayville, the kids there are downright hostile. I just can't really focus my studies with all that negative energy."
"When did you start talking like a hippie?" Scott asked.
"Dude, life on the islands is a bit more laid back," Alex smirked. "Don't worry Scott I want to join the X-Men but right now I just want to finish high school with my friends. I mean my buddies here thought it was pretty cool that I helped save the world and stuff."
"Well at least you have friends left," Scott admitted. "Still I…"
"GALAXY RANGERS HO!" A familiar German voice called out.
"Oh no…" Scott grimaced. "Not again!"
"TO THE FINAL FRONTIER!" Kurt was heard shouting.
"Scott what's going on?" Alex blinked.
"I'll show you," Scott turned the laptop around.
Just in time to see Kurt and Todd run by wearing blue and white uniforms that looked like futuristic cowboy outfits. "Rangers are forever!" Todd whooped with joy.
"Off to Tortuna!" Kurt yelled as they ran out of sight.
"What was that about?" Alex asked.
"Don't ask," Scott groaned. "Nightcrawler and Toad found out that they both like this stupid cartoon and formed a little club."
"Charge!" Pyro called out as he ran by with Bobby. They were also wearing the same uniforms.
"And they dragged Bobby and Pyro into their insanity with them," Scott sighed. "Well Pyro wasn't really dragged since he was already crazy. And I guess Bobby is kind of a no brainer…"
"WHAT GOOD IS BEING A TELEPATH IF YOU CAN'T FIND ANYBODY?" Lance could be heard yelling.
"Speaking of no brains…" Scott groaned.
"Lance you know that for some reason Blob has unusually high mental shields," Jean said as she followed Lance into the living room. "I've always had trouble reading his mind."
"That's because he's got so much fat in his head as well as his stomach," Lance said. "Hey Summers have you seen Blob?"
"No, why?" Scott asked. "And why are you all here today?"
"Scott remember the Professor and Magneto are trying to get our teams to work together," Jean sighed.
"Translation: They dumped us all here while they ran off to the nearest bar," Lance said. "So we're stuck here for dinner but since Red here gave the Blob all our food there won't be any!"
"I didn't give Blob all the food! I merely asked him to put away the groceries I brought in," Jean said.
"Three guesses on what Freddy thought that meant," Lance said. "Here's a clue, they're not in the refrigerator!"
"Wait you left the Blob alone with our food?" Scott was stunned.
"I was only gone for a minute! I needed to use the bathroom!" Jean said.
"That's all the Blob needs!" Lance snapped. "I can't believe you just handed the Blob groceries! Why didn't you just put a big bow on them and sing Happy Birthday while you were at it?"
"That was kind of dumb Jean," Scott admitted.
"No, not sticking up for your girlfriend is kind of dumb," Jean glared at Scott. "I just made a mistake!"
"Jean even the Brotherhood isn't dumb enough to make that kind of mistake!" Scott shouted.
Jean glared at him. "Uh I mean…" Scott gulped.
"You are so going to get it later," Lance snickered. "But right now we need to find Blob and what's left of the food. Maybe we can salvage a chicken wing or something?"
"I will deal with you later!" Jean snapped as she left with Lance.
"I put my foot in my mouth didn't I?" Scott asked Alex.
"You put both feet in your mouth, bro," Alex chuckled.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
CRASH!
"What was that?" Alex asked.
"Sounded like Cannonball crashing into the south wall," Scott winced. "That's another reason why you don't want to move in here too soon is it?"
"Bingo," Alex nodded.
"GIVE IT BACK BEAST!" Logan could be heard shouting.
"SORRY WOLVERINE BUT I MADE A PROMISE AND I INTEND TO KEEP IT!" Hank could be heard shouting.
"YOU WILL KEEP IT OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!" Logan was heard shouting.
"I BELIEVE THE PHRASE IS OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Hank yelled.
"NO I MEAN YOUR DEAD BODY!" Logan yelled as he chased Hank into the living room. "GIVE IT BACK FUR BALL!"
"Logan…Be reasonable," Hank said as he jumped over the couch.
"I'd rather not!" Logan shouted as he slashed his claws to where Hank was a second ago. He missed Hank but got the couch.
"Logan, you promised not only the Professor but the students that you would try and give up smoking cigars," Hank backed away. He was holding a cigar in one of his hands.
"Yeah well I lied," Logan growled as he jumped over what was left of the couch and advanced on Hank.
"Logan, come on now. If you smoked this cigar now what kind of lesson would our students learn?" Hank asked.
"I dunno. Sometimes you end up making promises you can't keep?" Logan quipped. "Adults need their vices? It's a bad idea to not let a person with adamantium claws and a rotten temper not get his nicotine fix?"
Logan slashed his claws at Hank who barely dodged them. "Well I must admit that last one would be quite an interesting after school special," Hank gulped.
"Just give me my cigar Beast and I won't give you a haircut!" Logan shouted.
"Now Wolverine that is just the nicotine talking," Hank backed away.
"No, it's the hour and a half I spent with Kitty, Rogue and Jean at the mall talking," Logan snapped. "And Kitty insisted on driving home!"
"Oh dear," Hank blinked. "Well no wonder you're stressed."
"Oh no, I passed stressed on the freeway at a hundred and twenty five miles an hour," Logan snarled. "Now I'm at Nerves are Shot to Freaking Hell Lane and turning right onto Give Me That Damn Cigar Drive!"
"NEVER!" Hank ran out of the room.
"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER BEAST!" Logan yelled as he chased after him, claws flailing and hitting the occasional piece of furniture. "COME BACK HERE!"
"Still don't get why I want to wait before moving in?" Alex asked.
"No, I'm pretty much getting the full picture now," Scott sighed. More arguing could be heard. "What now?"
"Turn me around. I want to see," Alex instructed. Scott turned the computer again.
"I can't believe we're having this stupid argument," Kitty stormed following Rogue.
"I can. Because stupid arguments are all you seem to come up with!" Rogue snapped.
"It seems to be what everyone is coming up with lately," Scott groaned.
"Just admit it Rogue, Mindy Mohan is a talented actress that does not get the respect she deserves!" Kitty said.
"The only thing Mindy Mohan is talented at is getting out of jail and rehab at lightning speed," Rogue said.
"WE WERE FRAMED! I TELL YA!" Ray ran by with Roberto again. "IT'S THE LITTLE TWERP'S FAULT!"
"YEAH MULTIPLE DID IT! NOT US!" Roberto agreed.
"YEAH RIGHT! HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE ARE?" Amara yelled as she ran after them with Tabitha.
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"There goes another wall…" Scott groaned.
"I don't know why you hate her so much! Mindy is a good actress!" Kitty went on.
"She's not that good an actress!" Rogue snapped. "In her entire career she had two decent movies and both of them were remakes! At best she is a poor woman's Tru Starrymore!"
"Oh here we go again with the Tru Starrymore!" Kitty threw up her hands.
"Yes, again with Tru Starrymore. Who is a real actress who can act circles around Mindy in her sleep!" Rogue snapped. "And was able to handle her drug and alcohol addiction problem ten times better than Mindy Mohan on her best day!"
"You take that back!" Kitty snapped.
"I will not," Rogue folded her arms. "Face it Kitty, Tru Starrymore is a better actress. Pure and simple."
"She is not better than Mindy Mohan!" Kitty shouted.
"Oh really? Let's look at the evidence shall we?" Rogue asked. "Tru's last movie came out last week at number one at the box office costarring with a major A list actor! Mindy's last appearance was at her probation office last week! Do I really need to go on here?"
"Mindy is having a rough time! Give her a break!" Kitty said.
"Give her a break? The woman has had more second chances than a cat with nine lives that was given an extra two because it won a lottery!" Rogue snapped. "She's not only had her breaks, she's had two other peoples!"
BOOOOOM!
"Scott aren't you going to do anything about those explosions going on?" Alex asked.
"Trust me Alex, sometimes it's better to wait until after the fireworks to confront the girls about the damage they've done," Scott groaned.
"I'm just saying you won't see Tru acting like this," Rogue defended her position.
"Just curious about something bro," Alex blinked. "Where exactly is the Professor?"
"He said something about being at a conference for a week," Scott sighed.
BOOOOOOM!
"He's been spending a lot of time at conferences lately," Scott sighed.
"Please! Tru is a sell out!" Kitty snapped. "She did that talking dog movie for Disney!"
"Oh and posing for Playboy isn't selling out?" Rogue asked. "And FYI, Tru was still a better actress as a talking dog than Mindy has been in…Well whatever she's been in lately."
"You take that back!" Kitty snapped.
"Make me!" Rogue snapped.
"Scott you settle this! Who do you think is a better actress? Mindy Mohan or Tru Starrymore?" Kitty asked.
"Uh…" Scott was a little stunned. "Actually I'm more of a Famke Janssen fan."
"Who?" Kitty blinked.
"Never heard of her," Rogue said.
"Yeah she's sort of a…" Scott backed away. "Never mind."
"Just face it Kitty! Tru Starrymore is, has and always will be the better actress!" Rogue walked away.
"If you love Tru Starrymore so much why don't you marry her?" Kitty shouted after Rogue.
"Oh so mature!" Rogue snapped.
"I know you are but what am I?" Kitty sneered.
"Actually I like Tru Starrymore," Alex shrugged. "She's good in those Happy Chandler movies."
"WHAT?" Kitty heard that last part and stuck her head back in. Her eyes were full of rage. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"
"Oh no…" Scott winced.
"What? What did he say?" Rogue walked back in.
"Stay out of it. Stay out of it," Scott warned.
"I said I like Tru Starrymore. And for the record she is better than Mindy Mohan," Alex shrugged.
"And he doesn't stay out of it," Scott moaned.
"YES! Finally someone with brain cells and some taste around here!" Rogue nodded.
"He's Scott's brother! How much taste could he have?" Kitty snapped. "Okay he has a better haircut and taste in clothes but still…"
"Hey! I'm here in the room!" Scott snapped.
"Well this proves that anybody can tell the difference between a quality actress like Tru and a no talent has been like Mindy," Rogue said. "Even Scott's brother who obviously has the brains in the family."
"Again, still here in the room!" Scott bristled.
"Oh shut up Scott!" Kitty snapped.
"Ha ha," Rogue snorted.
"Just for that you are taking me to the mall tomorrow!" Kitty snapped.
"You just went today!" Scott protested.
"Yeah what's your point?" Kitty blinked. "See you later Scott and bring your car keys!"
"You just couldn't stay out of it, could you?" Scott glared at the screen as the two girls left the room. "Remind me to run a few high level Danger Room programs with those two the next time you visit!"
"Hidey-Ho!" Pyro skipped in wearing his Galaxy Ranger uniform. "Hey Summers, I'm looking for Gambit. Have you seen him?"
"Gambit? He came with you guys too?" Scott asked.
"No, he lives here doesn't he?" Pyro asked.
"Since when?" Scott yelled.
"Since he got beat up by that crazy lady," Pyro said. "Wait a minute…? I just had a thought…"
"That's a first," Scott groaned.
"Didn't you guys move after the whole volcano incident?" Pyro blinked.
"What volcano incident?" Scott shouted.
"The one where a whole bunch of Sentinels invaded Bayville High School and Magma made a volcano," Pyro said.
"What? Scott what's going on at that school of yours?" Alex shouted.
"Pyro that never happened," Scott snapped.
"Are you sure?" Pyro blinked.
"I think I would have remembered that!" Scott snapped.
"Cor, I could have sworn that it did happen," Pyro scratched his head. "Wait, maybe it did happen but in a parallel universe? Or maybe it will happen in the future?"
"Or maybe all the smoke you've inhaled over the years has destroyed most of your brain cells?" Scott said.
"That too," Pyro nodded. "Toodles!" He skipped away.
"What was that about?" Alex asked.
"I don't know. I never know," Scott groaned. "And when it comes to Pyro I never want to know!"
CRASH!
"Like I never want to know about whatever just broke just now and who did it," Scott groaned. "You know what the Institute's slogan should be? Come for the madness, stay for the insanity!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"What that thunder on your end?" Alex blinked. "Is it raining?"
"No," Scott looked out the window and observed the clear blue sky. "Not yet anyway…"
"AAHHHH!" Hank ran by screaming. "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"
"Storm! Storm come on it was an accident!" Logan ran after him. "I didn't mean to slice up your orchids! They just got in the way!"
"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO METAL CLAWS WHEN THEY JUST HAPPEN TO GET IN THE WAY OF LIGHTNING?" Ororo practically flew after him, her eyes glowing with energy. "I'LL SHOW YOU!"
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP!
"YEOWWWWWWWW!" Logan yelled in pain.
"OWWWWW! WHAT DID I DO?" Hank screamed in agony.
"Never a dull moment at your place is there?" Alex remarked.
"Alex…" Scott looked at the screen. "Can I come to Hawaii and live with you?"