Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Warnings: mentioned underage drinking and drug use, sex, total AU, and slight OOC for Sasuke (his character is so fucked up right now it's not even funny) but I am of the opinion that if he didn't witness the brutal massacre of his entire family at such a young age he would only be socially awkward/anti-social and mildly broody not the heartless psychopath he is now, so that's how I wrote him. :)
A/N: NOT A SONG FIC! Just want to make this clear. Also, this is a Naruto rewrite of another fanfic of mine (different fandom), so if by some amazing coincidence you've read "Our Song" on livejournal, or Ficwad for the MCR fandom I just wanted to let everyone know I don't plagiarize peoples work. I'm just recycling my own idea.
This is citrus flavored maybe lime, but not quite lemon.
Enjoy!
When picking "the song" for a relationship, most couples normally pick a sweet, slow, romantic song, and they normally pick it together, and, you know, they are usually actually in a relationship. Sasuke never claims to be normal, so he doesn't follow any of these rules.
Meet:
Sasuke is sitting by himself on the bus ride home from his shitty after school job. He has his headset on, and his dark bangs fall into his face, so he doesn't have to acknowledge anyone if he doesn't want to. His messenger bag takes up most of the seat next to him, and he is slumped in his seat, trying to give off as much negative don't-fucking-mess-with-me vibes as he can. His music is turned up as loud as it can go, and Sasuke taps his fingers against his knee to the rhythm because he fucking loves the band Akatsuki.
He nearly jumps out of his skin when he's tapped on the shoulder. This guy has the brightest blue eyes Sasuke has ever seen, and is staring at him expectantly and probably slightly amused. Sasuke pulls his headphones off, but he can still hear the lead singer's voice clearly.
"Yeah?" Sasuke lets all his annoyance come out through that one syllable, just because this guys is gorgeous doesn't mean that Sasuke is going to cut him any slack.
"Do you mind?" the guy points to the seat that's currently reserved for Sasuke's bag, "I hate standing, and everywhere else is full. Plus, I'm pretty sure your bag will forgive you if it has to sit somewhere else for one bus ride."
Sasuke fights the smile that tries to force its way onto his face; the other guy is beaming at Sasuke and it's one of those contagious smiles. He loses the battle and ends up letting lose a small smirk back, right before he moves his bag onto his lap.
The guy slides into the seat and their thighs are instantly pressed together, hip to knee. He shoots Sasuke another grateful smile. Sasuke shifts nervously because this guy really is very attractive, and now his whole body is hyper-aware of all the places they're touching. He fiddles with the strap of his bag for a second before he goes to put his headphones back on.
"So I might have lied just a little," the other guy says before Sasuke can get the headphones back near his ears, "there was another spot, but it was next to a woman who reminded me of my Great-Aunt Chiyo, not that there's anything wrong with my Aunt Chiyo. She's just one of those Aunt's who wears really heavy floral perfume, and bright pink lipstick, and then insists on long hugs and kissing me on the cheek, and all I can smell for an hour is roses, and I can never seem to get the lipstick off my face for the rest of the day. You, however, don't remind me of my Aunt Chiyo, or any of my family members, for that matter…"
There is a long awkward pause after that, while Sasuke tries to process what was said, and the guy looks embarrassed. Sasuke notices a slight blush spreading across tan scared cheeks.
"Um, ok?" Sasuke represses a chuckle, "that's good, I guess."
"Sorry," the other guy shrugs, "I get really bad verbal-diarrhea sometimes."
"It's cool," Sasuke shrugs because verbal-diarrhea isn't nearly as bad as some of his own quirks, and Sasuke doesn't want to be a hypocrite.
The blush on the guy's face fades away, and he looks at Sasuke with a nervous smile and says: "I'm Naruto."
Sasuke remembers everything about that moment, as if he knows it will be important to him in the future. The way the florescent lights of the bus and the few leftover rays from the setting sun reflect off of Naruto's hair making it shine bright and golden, like the sun. The way the seat beneath him vibrates in sync with the engine of the bus, and the weight of his bag bouncing uncomfortably against his stomach every time they hit a bump in the road.
Above all else, he remembers the way he hears the clear sound of Akatsuki from his headphones singing the chorus of one of his favorite song.
Kiss:
Sasuke's parents are out of town, and Itachi is off being Itachi somewhere else, while Sasuke and Naruto sit on Sasuke's bed drinking beer and sharing a joint. The tiny T.V. on Sasuke's dresser is on and tuned to some music videos, but it's used more as background noise than anything else because they don't have the attention span necessary for... well anything. The sound is loud enough to cover up their silence but low enough for them to talk if they want to. When they've killed the joint, Sasuke drops it into an empty beer can so he doesn't burn holes in his sheets again.
"And then he told me he was going to kick my ass," Naruto says. His legs are sprawled out in front of him, and if it weren't for the wall behind him he would be flat on his back. He looks like the very picture of relaxed. Now either Sasuke has completely missed most of Naruto's story, or Naruto never told the first part of his story to begin with. Both are completely possible, knowing them when they're high.
"Wait," Sasuke says as he rotates his body, so his whole right side is pressed against the wall and his legs are tucked underneath him, so he can look at Naruto directly, "who said they were going to kick your ass?"
"Huh?" Naruto frowns at Sasuke in confusion, "Someone's going to kick my ass? What?"
"What?" Sasuke says, even more confused than before, and, shit, Naruto's face is either super close or the weed has given him super magni-vision powers, or something, because his face is right there.
"What?" Naruto and takes a swig of his beer, but he's probably had more than enough because his whole body sways when he moves his arm. His hand goes slack once he sets it back down and the can tips over, spilling the last few drops of alcohol onto Sasuke's sheets. Either they don't notice, or they don't care because neither one of them say or do anything about it.
"I don't even know, man," Sasuke shakes his head because they are so fucked up, "shit Naruto, we are so fucked up."
"Yeah," his voice and his smile are both wistful, and Sasuke is pretty sure that Naruto doesn't remember what he's agreeing to. Sasuke doesn't say anything though, because he's too distracted by the shadows on Naruto's face. The light from the T.V. is pale blue, and reflects off of the bridge of his nose, forehead, his eyelashes, the high part of his cheek, the natural gloss of his lip, and a bit of his chin. Everything else is in shadow. Sasuke has never seen anything more beautiful.
As if reading his mind, Naruto turns his head towards Sasuke, his wistful smile still firmly on his face, and says: "shit, Sasuke… you're beautiful."
The fog of the weed and booze over their brains makes it impossible for them to know how long they sit there, just looking at each other. Naruto's face gets closer, but Sasuke isn't sure who moved, and he can feel Naruto's warm breath against his lips. The alcohol in Sasuke's system gives him the confidence and recklessness to tilt his face forward and catch Naruto's lips.
His lips are soft in contrast to the slight scratch of stubble around his mouth and on his chin, and he tastes purely of alcohol and marijuana. Their noses bump ungracefully together, and Naruto's tongue is a little overenthusiastic. It's the best drunken kiss anyone could ask for. Sasuke's fingers stroke the skin on the back of Naruto's neck, while Naruto's hands rest on the bed beside Sasuke's hips keeping them upright.
Finally they pull away, and Sasuke can't help but stare at his best friend. Naruto's eyes are closed and he has a blissful smile on his face. As Naruto starts to lean forward, Sasuke goes in for a second kiss, but Naruto's whole body slumps down and his head lands on the bed next to Sasuke's hip. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and the soft noise Naruto lets out every time he exhales lets Sasuke know that he's fast asleep.
Sasuke sits and touches his lips, committing every second of that kiss to his memory as best he can. He wants to remember it in the morning, even if he's pretty sure Naruto won't. Then, he tosses the beer cans onto the floor, pulls Naruto (who lets out a sleeping grumble of protest) up towards the pillows, and pulls the sheets over the top of both of them. Naruto snuggles into Sasuke's side, and they both sigh contently.
Sasuke faintly registers the song playing in the background before slipping into unconsciousness himself.
Sex:
Even though the Uchiha's have more money than sin, Fugaku thinks it "builds character" for his sons to "pay their own way." So Sasuke's car is a piece of shit, and it smells like stale cigarette smoke, coffee, and old potato chips. Most of the time, Sasuke just uses it to get from point A to point B, and not really much else. The thing is, he hasn't been home in months, so if he and Naruto go back to the Uchiha household his mother will try and monopolize all his time, and he really just wants some time alone with his best friend.
Naruto has changed a lot. Sasuke never would have thought it possible, but, the few months he's been away, Naruto has become even hotter. He's definitely taller, his wild hair has grown a few inches longer, not to mention he's lost some of his baby fat around his face. All Sasuke wants to do is touch him. He's a little disappointed that his time away hasn't cured him of his ridiculous, not to mention cliché, crush on his best friend.
There is an old vacant lot where they used to go and smoke pot, and it's as good a place as any for them to catch up with each other. They spend the first hour on the hood of the car, and Naruto talks about starting up a band with some of his community college friends and Sasuke complains about his perverted chemistry professor at the University. It feels weird, like he has to get to know Naruto all over again because this wasn't the same best friend he left behind. It's probably really selfish, but a part of him expected things to stay the same and just be waiting for him to come back, especially Naruto.
It starts getting cold, and the weatherman said it will probably rain, so they reluctantly climb into the car. Neither one really wants to go home, so Sasuke turns on the battery, not the engine, just enough for the heater to kick on and the radio to play. They don't sit in the front seats because they aren't ready to leave and Naruto loves to snuggle when it's cold out.
They lay squashed together on the backseat, Naruto's head on Sasuke's chest, their arms wrapped around each other, and their legs tangled together. Despite the cramped space of the backseat, Sasuke is so comfortable he may have dozed off for a few minutes, but he's warm and Naruto's hair is the perfect length to run his fingers through it.
"Hey," Naruto whispers, and his voice is thick making Sasuke realize that Naruto must have fallen asleep too, "remember how I told you I wanted to get a tattoo?"
"Mmhmm," Sasuke is still half a sleep, but every part of him that is awake knows Naruto would look even hotter (if that's even possible) if he had some ink.
"I got one," and Naruto beams up at Sasuke, the contagious one that Sasuke always returns no matter what his mood.
"What? Where?" Sasuke looks at what little exposed skin of Naruto's he can see. It's not much, and all of it is his normal, tan skin.
Naruto pulls away and sits up. He tugs awkwardly at the hem of his shirt. Inch by inch, Sasuke's eyes take in the smooth skin of his stomach. There, on Naruto's tanned toned abs lay an intricate spiral surrounded by tribal style kanji. It's just so perfectly Naruto, a symbol that seem to portray equal parts simplicity and beautiful chaos. Sasuke can't help but sit up and touch it. His hand rests low on Naruto's waist, while his thumb strokes over the inked skin. He expects the inked parts to be raised, or at least feel different, but it's just as smooth as the rest of Naruto's skin, and Sasuke wonders if it would taste any different. His thumb runs right over the waves of Naruto's abdominal muscles, and they both shiver.
"Sorry," Sasuke snatches his arm away, "you must be cold."
"Um," Naruto leans forward and looks at Sasuke. His shirt is still pulled up to his chest, and he isn't making any move to pull it back down. There's something about the look in Naruto's eyes, and his impish grin that makes Sasuke both cautious and excited, "I'm not cold at all."
Then Naruto's hands are on Sasuke's shoulders and their lips are pressed together. It's just a nervous press of flesh against flesh, and the last time they did this they were both cross-faded out of their minds, but they don't have the influence of anything to blame this time. Sasuke's eyes are wide with shock and trepidation, but Naruto's eyes are shut tightly and his grip on Sasuke's shoulders is painful. Before Naruto can pull away, Sasuke's hands grip Naruto's bare waist and the back of his neck, and their kiss becomes much more than the press of skin on skin.
Naruto's mouth tastes like ginger with a hint of salt (akin to the sodium filled ramen broth the blond loves so much), and it's the best thing Sasuke has ever tasted in his life. There is no battle for dominance; they both seem content with allowing the other to explore. They both sit there kissing each other softly, until Naruto sucks Sasuke's tongue into his mouth and Sasuke can't take it anymore. Just a slight tug and they're flat across the backseat, without breaking the kiss. Naruto's hips press against Sasuke's as his knees find perches between Sasuke's slightly spread legs.
Naruto's hands find their way into Sasuke's hair, while Sasuke's find their way to Naruto's chest. Naruto rocks his hips, and Sasuke tears his mouth away, so he can moan and gasp for breath. Naruto sloppily kisses the corner of Sasuke's mouth, his cheek, his temple, everywhere up and down the side of his face, as he rocks his hips more. Sasuke buries his face in Naruto's neck to muffle the rest of his moans, and begins licking and sucking the delicious skin there. His hands trail down Naruto's chest to the top of his pants. With his fingers dancing along Naruto's waist, Sasuke wonders if he should push his luck. He can barely believe that he's actually kissing Naruto for a second time, not to mention while they're both sober. Does he dare try taking things farther?
Naruto sucks and bites down on his ear, and Sasuke's hips reflexively buck up. Naruto's tongue quickly flicks against Sasuke's earlobe before running down to his neck. As one of his hands grips a handful of Naruto's hair, Sasuke moans out: "fuck, Naruto."
"You want to?" Naruto asks as he nuzzles his nose against Sasuke's pale neck, and pushes their hips together. He can probably feel how much Sasuke wants to.
"Fuck yeah," Sasuke moans anyway, just so there is no confusion. Sasuke is pretty sure he's never wanted anything more in his entire life. They really should talk about what's going to happen, what's happening, and what this is going to mean for them. Sasuke knows there is so much that should be said before they move ahead, but when Naruto pulls back and smiles at him all his concern and apprehension fly out the window. This is what he wants, fuck the repercussions.
Their shirts are easy to discard, especially Naruto's, but the removal of pants is awkward in the cramped backseat of Sasuke's car, and finally they are blessedly naked and pressed against each other. They don't waste a single second with anymore foreplay. Preparation is awkward and slightly painful without anything more than spit as lubricant, but luckily Naruto doesn't rush it and allows Sasuke time adjust.
It feels like mere moments later, Naruto is pressing in, and Sasuke can't breathe for a second. Even with preparation, the lack of lubricant makes it burn. It's not magical because it takes some time for it to even be comfortable, and it's hard trying to find a rhythm and position that works for both of them. The seats aren't long enough for them to fit comfortably, and sometimes when Naruto pushes in too eagerly Sasuke hits his head on the door handle. Finally, Naruto puts Sasuke's legs over his shoulders, and pulls Sasuke away from the door.
Once they find their rhythm, things go by all too quickly, as they tend to do when you're young, and eager, and sexually frustrated teenage boys. They each wrap a hand around Sasuke's dick, bringing him closer and closer to completion. Naruto is moaning on nearly every thrust, and Sasuke can only moan when he's gasped in enough air to do so. They blindly and sloppily try to kiss each other, and are only partly successful. Sasuke's other hand grips Naruto's bicep, as his back arches and his vision blurs and he comes completely undone.
When Sasuke's vision has cleared and he can finally breathe properly again, Naruto has collapsed on top of him, blissfully spent. Naruto pulls loose and wipes off their stomachs with an article of discarded clothing. Rearranging themselves, they end up in the same position as when they first crawled into the backseat, albeit without clothing.
"You ok?" Naruto mumbles against Sasuke's skin.
"Awesome," is all Sasuke has the energy to reply. It's not a lie either, Sasuke still feels like he's flying, even if his conscience is catching up with him.
"Mmm, good," Naruto sounds as sated as Sasuke feels. His fingers dance over Sasuke's cooling skin in slow calming circles, "me too."
The song on the radio changes and Sasuke pulls Naruto closer. Having sex with his best friend isn't the smartest thing he's ever done, and he's not sure if he should be thrilled or terrified, but he wouldn't take it back. He relaxes in the afterglow, trying not to think too hard about where they go from here, and just holds Naruto.
They don't talk anymore, so he just closes his eyes and feels Naruto's skin against his and listens to the radio play their song.
Avoid:
Sasuke is pretty sure he's lost Naruto as his friend, since they haven't talked in over 2 months, but not from lack of trying on Naruto's part. Sasuke admits to himself that he's an idiot, but admitting you have a problem is just the first step to recovery.
After The Incident in his car, he drives Naruto home and spends every second afterwards worried about what to do next. Naruto calls everyday Sasuke is in town, but Sasuke texts him saying he's "busy" when really he's just terrified about what will happen when they see (or even speak to) each other again. Naruto is going to tell him something completely soul crushing like: it was the heat of the moment, a no-strings-attached one-off, and he still wants to be friends, and Sasuke will just die. So instead, he vows that avoidance is the only option until he gets back to Otogakure, and then he can just pretend that it never happened.
Naruto calls the last night of Sasuke's vacation and leaves a heartbreaking voicemail.
"Hey it's me, Naruto… so um… I was hoping I would get to talk to you live… but I guess… it doesn't matter. I just wanted to say that, well, I get that you're all freaked out about the other day, and you're afraid to talk to me about it, but I really think we should. Please call me back before you leave, so we can talk this through, and I won't even yell at you or give you shit, even if I am really pissed off that you've ignored me all week. We need to talk about this eventually. Bye."
Sasuke doesn't have the heart to delete the message, even when he's back in Otogakure and he still hasn't called Naruto, and he doesn't really plan to. Naruto doesn't call him again, and Sasuke isn't sure what that means. He tries to forget about what happened, and what is happening, but of course he can't. Everything reminds him of Naruto, from tattoos, to ramen stands, the color orange, and practically everything else in his life, and it doesn't help that his car smells like sex. Stupid fabric upholstery.
The worst of course, is their god damn song. Akatsuki is on tour and they are going to be in Otogakure, so it seems like whenever Sasuke turns on the radio their song is playing. That lasts for the better part of a month. A few weeks after that, when he thinks he can safely turn on his radio without being reminded of Naruto, his brother comes to visit. Itachi has an Akatsuki Revival of the Soul, and spends the weekend with a nonstop Akatsuki playlist. The world is hard on him, even with non-Naruto related issues, like how everyone is giving him shit about "being emo" or antisocial or whatever they're calling it these days. Even Itachi and his room mate Suigetsu, bastards. At least you made gift giving easy. You'll probably need more eyeliner around your birthday, yeah? and Staying in, and reading on a Saturday night... why am I not surprised. Fucking bastards, seriously. It's like the world has conspired against him to punish him for getting lucky with his best friend.
He spends all his free time desperately trying not to think of Naruto or anything Naruto-related (and failing), being a dirty, creepy, freak and jerking off thinking about Naruto (and feeling horrible about it afterwards), getting wasted so he can forget about Naruto (which never works, or makes it better), being depressed and drunk and staring at his phone begging for Naruto to call him just so he can hear his voice (he never does), and once or twice he gets drunk, listens to the voicemail Naruto left him, and sobs like a baby (although he'd deny it until the day he dies). It's a sad existence, even for Sasuke's standards.
Before he knows it, it's summer, and he's back home for a few weeks, just until Suigetsu can find them an apartment in Otogakure they can actually afford. He plans on staying in his room the entire time, hiding from the sun/Naruto, and coming out only when absolutely necessary. Itachi, of course, has other plans because he doesn't understand, care, or even know about his brother's crisis that is ruining his life.
The shows Itachi drags him to would be a lot more fun if he wasn't such a jumpy motherfucker. He doesn't know how much of Naruto's appearance has changed, so every tall blond guy makes Sasuke flinch. He doesn't really get a chance to enjoy the bands; he spends most of his time watching the crowd and ducking when he thinks he might have spotted Naruto. It's never him, and Sasuke isn't sure if he's relieved or disappointed. Itachi makes him go to a show every night, for a week straight, and finally Sasuke can't take it anymore. He's going back to Otogakure soon, so this is the last show he can go to. He needs to save his energy for packing up all his shit, or least that's what he tells Itachi.
Not seeing Naruto has made Sasuke slowly let down his guard, which is a big mistake. It happens when Sasuke steps outside so he can get fresh air and have a relaxing smoke. There's a group of people nearby talking and laughing loudly, but Sasuke never really feels comfortable enough to approach complete strangers, so he just leans against a wall and enjoys his cigarette.
"I swear to God, Naruto," someone yells nearby, and Sasuke's head snaps up. It can't be, can it? Apparently it can, because there he is, unmistakably Naruto, sunny hair, golden skin, mischievous grin, and telltale whisker like scars on his cheeks. Arm thrown around the shoulder of a dark-haired pale boy and laying a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek of a pink-haired girl, Naruto looks completely happy with life. He's absolutely beautiful. The pink girl looks decidedly less thrilled, but that look melts away to a reluctantly fond smile. "Fine! Fine, you're forgiven."
Naruto laughs, before sliding his other arm around her shoulders, with grace that suggests that he's done it about a thousand times before. When he finishes his cigarette, Sasuke just lights up another one. Sasuke is still terrified about the possibility of Naruto seeing him, but it doesn't change the fact that Sasuke has always found Naruto beautiful, and he misses him more than he's willing to admit. It isn't hurting anybody of he just stays and looks at him a bit longer.
"I knew it! No one can reject the amazing charm of Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto crows triumphantly. Everyone in the group laughs, or shakes their head, but no one verbally disagrees, and Sasuke knows it's because Naruto is right. Sasuke watches as Naruto drapes himself over his friends, gestures dramatically while speaking, laughs loudly, and is generally the life of the group.
Sasuke is trying not to be too obvious about watching them, so he has a serious "oh shit" moment, when he realizes that one of the guys of the group is headed right towards him. Panicked, he looks around; he tries to find an escape route that doesn't make it completely obvious that he's running away. When he finally decides that, fuck it, he doesn't care if they know he's running away, it's too late and the other is standing right in front of him.
"Hey man," the guy greets with a bored tone as he pulls out his pack of smokes. Sasuke barely manages an eyebrow twitch in his direction because he's too busy trying to look less like himself, and not make eye contact with Naruto, "so… it's a total drag, but I left my light at home and―"
"Shikamaru where'd you go!" Naruto says from his place in the group, twirling around looking for his friend. He focuses on the guy next to Sasuke, but then he does a doubt take when he glances Sasuke's way. Sasuke has a mild panic attack because he can feel Naruto looking at him, and Sasuke stares at Shikamaru trying not to do any of his nervous ticks, or anything else. In his peripheral, Sasuke can see Naruto looking at him curiously, and squinting, like he recognizes him but can't be too sure.
"Getting a light Naruto relax," Shikamaru says in Naruto's direction, before giving Sasuke a serious look, "can I bum a light?"
"Keep it," Sasuke fishes his lighter out of his pocket and tosses it at Shikamaru, before turning his back on Naruto and his group of friends, and walking away. He doesn't head back inside; he's pretty sure he can't stomach anymore excitement for the night.
"Thanks man," Shikamaru calls out to him, and Sasuke mutely waves a hand over his shoulder, dismissively. The house is in the opposite direction, but he would rather walk around the block instead of going back towards Naruto. He pulls out his phone and sends Itachi a text, so he doesn't think he's dead in an alley somewhere.
not feeling good. went home. have fun
He's unlocking the front door when he gets a text back from his brother.
liar.
He doesn't have the energy to do anything else but hide in his room. Naruto looked so happy, so he figures that Naruto is not nearly as torn up about this as Sasuke. It hurts, to know you're replaceable, but Sasuke knows that the only person he has to blame is himself. Of course, Naruto wasn't going to wait around for a call that was never going to happen. Sasuke is a fool for even thinking he had a chance with Naruto to begin with. Naruto is just so happy, and bouncy, and beautiful and he just… isn't.
When he gets to his room, he collapses on his bed and turns his stereo on. He immediately turns it back off because, of course, their song is the first one to play. The Universe hates him; it's official.
Reunion:
The first thing Sasuke hears when he wakes up is: "You're an asshole."
He's groggy and disoriented, and will continue to be so until he gets at least two cups of coffee in his system. It takes him a few seconds to realize there's someone in his room, and a few more to process what was said. It takes even long for him to get the strength to open his eyes, so he can find out what the hell Itachi wants, so he can go back to sleep. Also, he realizes it's not Itachi sitting at the edge of his bed with his arms crossed and glaring at him; it's Naruto, which is about a billion times worse. There is no way he could fall back asleep after a shock like that.
"Um," Sasuke can't really do much else besides stare wide-eyed and clutch his blankets to his chest, wishing for a quick and painless death because Naruto is right there and looking determined and pissed off.
And, oh my God, Naruto is in his bedroom.
"You never called me back, you dipshit," Naruto glare gets even harder, and Sasuke's pretty sure either he's having a nightmare or he's in hell, "I never figured you'd fuck me then leave me. That's a pretty shitty thing to do to your supposed best friend, and then you didn't have the fucking decency to tell me you didn't like me that way. Shit, Sasuke, you didn't have the decency to tell me anything at all."
"I―" Sasuke tries to say something because Naruto sounds so broken, and it's all his fault. He is the worst best friend in the history of forever. Naruto doesn't give him a chance to say anything.
"No. Shut up. You don't get to talk. You had over two fucking months to talk to me, and since you couldn't do that and since I had to hunt you down and come into your bedroom like a stalker, you are just going to sit there, keep your fucking mouth shut, and listen to what I have to say," Naruto takes a calming breath, and Sasuke sits silently hoping Naruto doesn't murder him in his parent's house. When he speaks again, Sasuke is almost positive he's not going to die because Naruto sounds more hurt and confused than anything else, "we had sex. Great sex, if I'm not mistaken. You told me you were: 'awesome,' dropped me off at my house, and let me think everything was ok. Then you wouldn't return my calls and all of a sudden you were too fucking busy to see me at all. Then you were gone again, back to Otogakure. The very least you could have done was tell me to fuck off, but you left me in limbo. I didn't have any answers, and all I knew was that you weren't talking to me, didn't want me in your life, and I had just lost my best friend. Then last night, I saw you and I know you saw me, but you didn't even spare me a glance. I understand that you don't want me here. I just need to know why. Why did you cut me out? What did I do wrong?"
"I…" Sasuke can't stand the resigned look on Naruto's face, the acceptance of the loss of their relationship. The worst part is that it's all his fault; if Sasuke had just called Naruto back he might still have him in his life. Now that he knows he's lost Naruto forever, he can finally admit to him what he's wanted since they first met on that bus, "I want us to be more than friends."
"So you push me out of your life, and make me think you never want to see my face again? In no way does that make any sense. I'm sorry, but I will never understand what goes on in your head," he uncrosses his arms, shakes his head, and looks sad, and Sasuke doesn't know what to say to him, so he says the same thing he always does when he's been a complete moron.
"I'm sorry, Naruto," he cautiously reaches for Naruto's arm, making sure to give him plenty of time to pull away if he wants to. Naruto doesn't give any sort of response, positive or negative. He just lets Sasuke touch him, and Sasuke's thumb strokes over the warm skin, "I'm an idiot."
"You are," Naruto says seriously, "and also: fuck you, Mr. Martyr. 'Oh no! I slept with a guy that I want to be my boy friend. He must not like me! Wah wah wah!'" Naruto mocks him by using a whiney, high-pitched voice and rolling his eyes, "I'm not a slut or a manwhore, ok? I'd never sleep with anyone I don't actually want."
"You mean…" Sasuke tries to not sound so hopeful, but fails miserably. He can't even finish his question because he's still afraid of the answer.
"Duh, you moron," Naruto says fondly as he rolls his eyes one more time before finally smiling at him. Naruto scoots closer and runs a hand through Sasuke's hair, "And you call me an idiot... I wouldn't have followed your brother home at three in the morning and confronted you about this shit, if I didn't care about you."
"Oh," it's all Sasuke can bring himself to say, while Naruto kicks off his shoes, turns on the stereo, and pulls them both down onto the bed.
"For the record," Naruto says around a yawn, snuggling into one of Sasuke's pillows, "I'm still really pissed at you, but it's late and my house is too far away to go home now."
Sasuke nods in agreement because, yeah, Naruto has every right to be pissed at him, but his luck seems to have turned around because Naruto is here with him now and he's not going to complain. He cautiously wraps his arms around Naruto's waist, and holds him again. The last time he held him they were both naked and listening to the same song that was playing now. Sasuke smiles because, just a few hours ago, the same song made him depressed, and now he is anything but.
His eyes grow heavy, and, just before he falls asleep, he hears Naruto whisper over the music.
"I like this song. It reminds me of you."
A/N: So yeah… I hope you liked it. As you can probably tell, I don't ever write sex scenes but I did my best, and that's good enough for me. Also, I seem to have a run-on sentence problem, and as I've stated before: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, so there's hope! (Not much). Oh, and sorry for not having a beta. I've had issues in the past and now I'm reluctant to get another.
In the original version of this story the "band" wasn't Akatsuki but rather the real band: Smashing Pumpkins. And as much as I adore SP I must say: I'm not a fan of the personal music choices and other completely unrelated fandoms crossing paths, that seems to be popular in fanfic these days. I was always ambiguous about the song, but if you're curious, in my head, the song is Bullet With Butterfly Wings because I love it and any song that talks about rage and rats is pretty unromantic.
Let me know what you liked/disliked! K?