Sometimes The Truth Hurts, And The Lies Help
By: A Runner At Heart
8/10/2012
Dedicated To "beagoodegirl" (Credit goes to her for title)
Before anyone asks, this is NOT the sequel to "Because Love Means Facing Your Biggest Fears, And Trusting"
"Cammie, what is the meaning of this?" Cammie heard her father ask. She grimaced, already knowing what he was asking. She had planned to hide her unfinished project, but in the end, she didn't do a good job of hiding it.
"Dad, I can explain, I know it's due today, but I can use my free period to d-"
"Cammie, you can't keep doing this. You have to try. You know your mother and I can't support your college funds, you have to make the grades." She hung her head shamefully. She loved her father. In fact, they were closer than most kid are with their father. She guessed that guess being poor did that. The Morgans never came from a rich background, and no matter how smart they were, it wasn't enough to get into college. Yep, they only had high school diplomas, in fact, no one from Cammie's family a college degree.
"Cammie, I thought last time was the last. I'm very disappointed in you." And with those final words, he left for the old, run down restaurant, that he called work. Grabbing her stuff, Cammie headed out the door towards the bus stop. She thought about what her dad said, and felt ashamed. Last night, Macey had asked her if she wanted to go bowling, the newest hang out place for all the "populars". Caught up in the moment, she'd said yes without a hesitation. It had been a blast. There had been tons of cute boys, guys who actually flirted with her, and Josh. The guy Cammie had a crush on since forever. And, hung up on the fact that he'd talked to her last night, she came home high on excitement (she knew better than to do drug and drink), and decided to skip her homework.
She sighed, now that she thought about it, she too was disappointed in herself. She came up to the bus stop, sitting on the cold cemented hard sidewalk. Winter was fast to approach, and she was hoping for a new jacket. The bus soon came, pulling up to a stop in front of her. Only a couple of kids ever rode the bus now days. Everyone had cars. Walking towards and empty seat, Cammie felt an unsettling feeling in her stomach. She ignored it though, and plopped down onto the rubber seat, and leaning her head against the window, fogging the glass up. Who knew that getting yelled at by her could've dad soured her mood so quickly? It just hurt to think that she had disappointed him. The bus soon came to a halt at her school, and the bus driver yelled for all the kids to get off. As her feet hit the concrete, she couldn't help but see the graying of the sky. Such an ominous feeling settled into her stomach.
"Cammie!" She heard Macey shout. She turned around, and seeing Macey's beaming face, a smile crossed onto her face as well. Her smiles were just that contagious.
"Last night was a blast, huh? And you were talking to Josh!" She looped her arms into Cammie's, and and they both smiled as they made their way into the school.
"Tell me everything he said!" Cammie laughed, starting to revive what happened last night.
"...and he said he wanted to hang out some time!" She squealed at the end, thoughts of her dad's and that argument gone from her head. She didn't regret going last night, all she did was work, and she deserved some fun.
"Ooh, he so likes you! All these years, and all it took for him to like you was for you to be utterly horrible at bowling! He totally used that as an excuse to put his arm around you!" Macey was literally bouncing up and down.
"You two are totally going to go out again, understood," Macey asked, in which she replied with a nod of her head. "Good, we'll plan something at lunch!" And with that, they headed their way towards their classroom, both of theirs being in the opposite side of the building.
Smiling as she slammed her locker, Cammie spun the dial, resetting the locker. Already half way into the school day, and with a hungry stomach, she made her way towards the lunchroom, weaving her way towards the crowded mess of hungry teen. That was until her phone rang. Cammie the phone out, not knowing who it could be. Very few people knew her number, for her phone was only for in cases of emergency.
Dad, flashed onto the screen, and she instantly picked up. He knew not to call during school, so it had to be pretty urgent.
"Dad?" She asked into the cell phone.
"Hello, is this Miss Morgan?" An unrecognizable voice asked. Her heart rate suddenly picked up. What if someone had kidnapped herdad and was asking for a ransom.
"Who is this?" She asked, suspicion creeping into her voice.
"This is Officer Person, head police of Roseville County Police Department. Now, may I ask again, is this Miss Morgan speaking?" She slowly calmed down, until it registered that this was a police calling her, what would they want, and why use her dad's phone?
"Y-yes, this is Cameron Morgan speaking." She answered.
"We are sorry to inform you of this bad news, but your mother insisted you knew, and wanted us to notify you of the well being of your father." She stopped mid way towards her walk to the cafeteria. Seeing the dirty looks people shot her, she made her way towards the locker, out of the way of everyone.
"Your father happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was in an intersection where there was a wide range shooting going on. He was shot in the head. The bullet lodged deep inside. He was rushed to the hospital. He died on the way there." She dropped my phone, it crashing to the floor, shattering into many little pieces. The impact big enough to be heard over the chatter of everyone. Loud enough for everyone to stop and turn their heads towards her. Her hand flew to her mouth and then she fell towards the ground.
Dead. Dead. Dead. My father was dead. Dead.
And that was when the water works leaked.
The tears cascaded down her face, as loud, unattractive sobs wracked through her body, escaping from her mouth. Her body trembled as she cried. Her heart ached, like it was being twisted with a knife. She felt like she was dying.
I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in you.
The last words her father ever spoke to her. Probably the last thought he had. Crying even harder, Cammie's back fell against the locker. Then, she heard the whispering. Looking up, the tears still falling like the Niagara Falls, her eyes met the many stairs of her classmate who all were watching her. Wanting to shoot back a witty comment, like "don't you know it's rude to stair", she opened her mouth, but a sob escaped, sounding much like a hiccup. She must have looked hideous. Then, out of the sea of faces, a boy came up to her. She looked back to the floor, crying even harder.
Embarrassment. Hurt. Sadness. Guilt.
Emotions flooded through her body. A hand was gently placed onto her shoulder.
"There's nothing to see everybody. Go to lunch before all the hot food is gone," a guys voice said. She still kept her head down.
My father. Of all people, my dad. My daddy.
"Hey." A voice said beside her. She lifted her head, looking up into bright emerald eyes. She instantly recognized the boy. Zach. Zachary Goode. He was the only boy in the school with these eyes. He was a quiet boy. Quiet and shy. They's had a few classes in the past, and occasionally talked if they were paired for partners, but other than that, she didn't really know him. She looked back down. The tears still came, but her eyes became heavy, slowing my tears down. She felt Zach shuffle, and soon he was sitting right next to her.
"My dad." She whispered to no one in particular. Zach grabbed her hand, rubbing it.
"It's all my fault." She whimpered. Zach stopped rubbing for a second, but then continued on.
"No matter what it is, it's not your fault Cammie. In fact, blaming yourself doesn't help. It makes you feel worse. It weakens you. Trust me, I know." Zach said, speaking softly, the way he usually spoke. Soft and gentle.
"You don't know, you don't know what happened." She said, slamming her head against the locker, making a big bang, scaring herself.
"True, I don't. But what good is it to blame yourself? Why do you want to make yourself feel bad? Do you think it's going to help you, or hinder you?"
"He died." He died. He died. He's dead. Dead. With each thought, she cried, harder and harder. Her eyes closed for a second. The pain in her heart to big to even contain.
My father.
Zach put his arm around her, and soon she found herself in his embrace. In any other situation, she'd have reeled back from him, or any other person, but she just sank into his arms. His hug reminded her so much of the ones her father gave. Hugs that made you feel safe. With those big arms, wrapped around her small body. Those kinds of hugs she'd never get from him ever again.
"What did I ever do to deserve this?" She said, so softly, she doubt Zach even heard.
"Sometimes Cammie, things happen for the best. Sometimes, it's not the immediate results, but the chain reaction that follows. Sometimes, things happen, because they have to happen. But you can't do anything about the past. You have to build up on it. Become stronger. Be there for others. You can't think of all the things you would've done different. You learn from what had happened." Zach said, resting his head on top of her. Her tears started to stop, but the pain in her heart still kept growing. How was she supposed to just accept what happened, and move on. My father was dead. The bell soon rang, signaling the end of lunch. Despite missing it, she wasn't hungry anymore.
"Come on," Zach said, getting up, and holding out his hand. She took it, trying to smile, but couldn't. Zach bent over and picked up all her stuff, then, took me hand and led her down the hall.
Cammie sat waiting on the chair. Her eyes were still heavy, wanting to close, but she still saw the sympathetic glanced occasionally thrown her way, and that kept her awake. The doors to the office soon busted open, and there stood her mom, tears streaking down her face.
"Cammie!" She cried, flinging herself towards Cammie. Cammie felt tears prick the corner of her eyes, but she didn't let them fall, instead she hugged her mom back. The sympathetic glances were starting to bother Cammie though, so she picked up her stuff, pulled her mother with her, and headed out the school. She saw the taxi her mom had taken, and went inside. Her mother seemed in a far worser condition, so she told the driver her address, and he started the car back up. As they left the school, she heard the bell ring, and saw the hallways being flooded with kids. One person caught her eyes. Zach was walking down the hall, in the craze of it all, he got pushed roughly into a locker. He brushed it off, and started walking down the hall, and seeing that, she realized she never got to thank that green-eyed boy.
Okay, I know, I'm supposed to be writing a sequel, but here I am writing something sad like this. This plot was nagging my brain and I had to write it, and decided to post it in the end. Now, with this idea out, I can focus again on my sequel!
So, what do you all think? I don't know if I should continue this, so feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Hope you all can take the time to review!
Love,
A Runner At Heart