A/N
Okay, this is the one, the only, the.... well, yeah, this is ZENITH.
And even though you didn't know it, you've been waiting for it.
I just know.
However, I've got something to tell you before reading it.
This chapter is loooooooong, and the others that'll follow won't be. They'll be about seven pages in word, this one is fifteen, so you get the picture.
And, also, since I am Swedish, and I wrote this one to my friend for Christmas (she's also Swedish), there will be, there are, a lot of Swedish expressions that are directly transleted to English. So if it doesn't make sense, or if I've used the wrong way of putting it, PLEASE tell me. So I won't do it again, and learn something new.
You should know, there is a reason for this one being rated M! There will be some reaaaaal lovey-dovey time in this chapter and following.
So,
I hope you'll like it.
Please review,
please tell me about the mistakes i've made.
Carry on.
Chapter 1
Change
Edward was sitting with his arm around my waist and his divine face playfully hidden in my hair. I felt bad for only thinking about and watching Renesmee and Jacob on the lawn outside the window. Had I always been this worried and restless when it came to the people I loved? All of them would probably say yes.
His cool breath caressed my skin, and if I could, I would have shivered. I knew what he wanted, but I was too busy to be able to give it to him, even though I wanted. There was certainly something wrong with me.
After a highly dangerous leap from my daughter that almost made both of them fly yards across the air, I nearly ran out of the house to make sure she was okay. But Edward held me still, not as fixed as when I had been human, but easy and light.
"Let them play." He whispered and the softness in his voice made my body tangle. All I wanted right now was to throw myself at him, but our daughter was too close for me to not be embarrassed. I had to control myself, if he helped me or not. Slowly I moved over to his lap, tucking in under his chin.
"Good girl."
I had to fight even harder to relax; the touch of his skin against mine didn't really help me with that. But as soon I succeeded, he froze to a sculpture with his marble lips pressed against my hair.
Before I could ask, he held me closer.
"I'm so sorry." The perfect voice trembled in sorrow. He never sounded like that, or he hadn't in a long time. Something awful had happened. Pictures of Charlie, Renée, Alice, Esme, all the Cullens and all the wolves passed through my head with the speed of light. It looked like a list of the 10 easiest ways to make my unhappy.
But I could rejoice over one thing. The three top spots where unharmed, they where all where I could see them.
I hugged him back; hard, sad for him having to know something in advance that would make me sad. I had gotten used to his way of thinking around me, and my mind had started to work the same way. At least in these matters. He was always my highest priority.
"Bella, I really am sorry." While I let Edward cradle me in his arms, Carlisle entered the room. The smell of human blood that made my throat burn came from his clothes and hair. He had apparently just come home from work.
More pictures crossed my mind now, but this time only of the humans I loved, the ones who couldn't take care of themselves. And then especially…
"Charlie." My fathers name blew over my lips not more then a whisper, but both Renesmee and Jacob stopped their game and stared up through the window. At us.
But Carlisle shook his head. Edward released me. Looked in my eyes while stroking my long hair.
"No, no, my dear Bella. Your father is okay, alive at home." Carlisle sat down in a chair next to us.
"There is something else that is a problem though, and I don't think you will like it." I was confused, he had totally lost me.
"So no one is dead?"
"Except from us, love, no." Edward stroke my back. I couldn't laugh at his joke, neither could he.
"Then what is it? Why are you like this? Has something happened?" My eyes went to Renesmee and Jacob outside. Had something happened to them that I didn't know off?
"Someone is starting to see I'm not changing, and even though you two aren't in public, and still can be happy, I have to do my job." He looked from Edward to me, with satisfactory in his golden eyes. I knew all of the other Cullens, except from Rosalie, had liked me from day one. I made their brother happy, content with life. As his adoptive mother had said: "He was no longer the fifth wheel."
Carlisle shook his head, obviously returning to the original reason for this conversation. "This means it's about time to leave for us." I couldn't say a thing, just stared at Carlisle, ignoring Edward.
"What do you mean?" With an all-out effort I loosened the rubber band that was hiding my mind from my husband. Leaving Forks? The cottage? The meadow? Renesmee? Jacob? Charlie? He looked at me with topaz-coloured sadness.
"We have to leave everything behind." Panic started running spreading in my body. Leaving everything behind? Everyone I loved?
"How can you do this?" I whispered, filled with hatred over this idiotic plan. "I'm not going to leave parts of my family here to die."
"You cannot be sure they die before we come back. And with Charlie, what ever you do, he will die sooner or later." Carlisle used his reasonable doctors-voice. I didn't affect me.
"But then I should spend his last years with him, not running away if somebody finds out our secret."
"Bella, calm down. You have to remember Volturi. If they knew we had been exposed, and they would find out, they wouldn't hesitate like last time. They would kill us, all off us, even the humans that knew about the secret." But why can't we live in the forest, just you, Renesmee and me. Nobody would know. I would live happily ever after there with you, Edward. Even though it was true, I know I used a foul trick, placing my hands on each side of his face, pleading to him to stay here. But he didn't answer me, but the look in his eyes assured me that he had heard my thoughts.
"You know that Edward will come with us Bella." Carlisle bent forward to look at my face, which was looked at his sons.
"I didn't think anything else. But…" My head snapped. "You two already discussed this?" And you agreed?
"Please, Bella. Don't do this. I hate you being angry with me, but as little as I want to tear your heart apart, love, I would hate doing the same to my family. But if you don't want to go, we can always stay here." His voice was smoother then any silk, softer than any velvet. It was perfection.
"Edward, son, that's not helping." I had no problem seeing that both of them suffered with the way this conversation was going. Carlisle was begging us to come with him, but Edward wouldn't go without me, and I wouldn't go without Renesmee.
"Mom? Dad? What's going on?" I had been so angry with the two male vampires that I hadn't noticed my daughter and my best friend entering the room. What was it with me today? With Renesmee the sent of dirt and something sweet that she shared with her father washed away Carlisles hospital smell. I got up from Edwards lap, and folded my arms around her.
"We're taking her with us." Both Carlisle and Edward seemed to have something to say. But no one questioned my authority when it came to my child, not even her father.
"Taking who where?" She had always been an impatient girl; it had only gotten worse the last year. Her father and her wolf-friend had some kind of race of who could give her the most special things, spoil her the most. On the list things like jewellery, homemade amulets and treasured inheritances were common. I didn't like it, and as soon as that came out I was targeted for the same treatment, it bugged me since both of them knew I hated gifts.
I pressed my lips gingerly against her head.
"If we're taking Nessie with us, leaving Jacob, he will age and die. I fear that will happen even if Nessie stays. Yes I know that, Jacob!" They frowned at each other, electricity in the air.
"What is it now?"
"Your dear friend reminded me so gently about what happened when I left you. He says that will happen if we separate him and Nessie."
"Jake, don't over do it, okay. If you ask me, that never happened." But he didn't calm down. Carlisle continued where Edward stopped.
"So the only way to save them, if it goes as Edward think it will, is to take them both with us. Before you say anything..." he held his hands up to stop the words that all of us wanted to say. "I have talked to the others about this. Renesmee will, without a doubt, come with us. Rosalie wouldn't have it any other way."
"Blondie, huh?" Jake was silenced with a look from Renesmee, who didn't accept any bad words about her second mom.
"However, Edward was kind enough to suggest that Jacob should also join us. He had obviously already thought of all these likely outcomes." That's my Edward, I thought, so he could hear. And he did, because instantly he grew with pride, and fired of my favourite smile at me.
"Mom, what did you say to dad?" Renesmee had seen it, and curious as she was, nothing slipped through her webs.
"Your mother just gave me a compliment, that's all."
"What kind of compliment?"
"Nessie."
"Okay, it's none of my business, I get it. I'll know anyway, mom's to obvious, it's not hard to figure it out."
"Nessie, watch your manners."
"Yeah, yeah, I heard." She gave me the smile she had gotten from her father, snuggling into my stone-chest. She was the one being obvious.
"Don't even go there, princess, I have tried it, believe me. It doesn't work." She looked over her shoulder, again with the smile.
"It's always worth a try."
"Can we go back to the part where we're all moving?" Jacob was still standing, like in shock, half a feet inside the door.
"What more do you want to know?" Carlisle was amused by the little family dispute, but was fast to return to the subject with his professional voice.
"When? Why? Where? How?"
"Those are all excellent questions, but I'm afraid I do not know much yet. I've asked Alice to look forward, and she will tell me when she knows." Jacob mumbled something low enough that none of us were able to hear it. But I knew it was something about "trusting the psychic", it was clear where Renesmees bad influence came from. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to leave him behind.
"Jacob, do you mind?" Edward frowned and backed away from Jake with a repulsive expression in his face.
"Yes, I do mind you being in my head. If you don't want to hear something you don't like, just stay out, okay." Jacob growled, obviously pissed. If it was because we where moving or because Edward had heard his thought, I couldn't tell.
"How many times do I have to tell you; it doesn't work like that! I'm less eager in hearing your mind than your pack comrades, but it is very hard when you're shouting like that!" What was that about? "Just some inappropriate thoughts, that's all. It's not like I've never heard them before, Jacob, but this time you've gone to far." Renesmee danced out of my arms, leaving me with her sweet smell still in my head. I noticed that the dancing was a pattern of moving she had picked up from Alice.
She stopped in front of her father, looking with sparkling eyes at him. He had been so angry that he had jumped to his feet, growling fiercely. Renesmee still only reached to his waist when he stood up, but when she leaned closer to him, he let go of Jacob and turned the magnificent face to his only child. Without her saying a word, he picked her up in his arms, letting her touch his face.
"I know that, dear." He kissed her cheek, and she giggled. He tuned in with the laughter. "Anything for you, my love. All you have to do is ask." He froze, still his lips to her soft, rosy cheek. I could hear how he stopped breathing, and shoot an anxious glance towards me. "I'll have to ask your mother about that one." He seemed really nervous, and Renesmees eyes narrowed with threaten. He sighed. "What is it with you Swan girls and asking for the one thing I would rather not do. But, yes, princess, I will talk to her."
"You've got a pretty rude father, don't you, Nessie?" Alice stepped inside, with Jasper in her hand. His hair and clothes where all messed up, while she looked as perfect as ever, with a grin full of secrets she uses only too tease us with.
"No, he's not rude. He's the most adorable father ever. I love him." She kissed him lightly on the lips, both glowing.
"It's nice to hear that someone likes me."
"Oh, dad, don't say that. You know that mommy loves you, don't try that martyr act on us. We won't be tricked." She pressed her finger ever so softly against his nose, and they both started giggling again. Sometimes I wondered if it was healthy for Edward to be a father, it wasn't rare that he acted ten years younger, just because she was. I rolled my eyes at them.
"I'm not so sure about your mother, princess. She seems rather crossed with me."
"No, no, it's not you, dad. She's crossed with me because I'm supposed to go to bed soon. And I think she wants you for herself tonight." He put her down, still giggling, and she turned around too look at me. "Yes, I'm going to bed. You don't even have to ask me, and I'm even giving dad back. That was nice, huh." She looked around, a proud smile over her lips." Good night Alice, Jasper, grandpa." She danced around the room, giving everyone a kiss, and ending with me. "Good night, mom. Take care of dad while I sleep, okay."
"Of course I will, my love. Dream sweet dreams." I hugged her hard again, kissing both her cheeks. She just patted my head and slipped away.
"I will." But then she froze, confused as she searched for the last person. "Where is Jacob? When did he leave?" No one started too worry, cause in that instant, we could all hear him outside.
"I'm here, Nessie!" She lit up with a smile, flying out through the door. Jacob was going to take her to the cottage, as always when we had things to discuss with Carlisle.
Suddenly I found myself in Edwards's arms. He put one hand under my chin, turning my face up and kissed me. I answered the kiss with joy, with Renesmee in bed we didn't have to hold back.
Quietly, Carlisle cleared his throat. That was our cue to let go. Much unwillingly I felt I had to take the first step and turned my head from my husbands lips. He understood, stopped kissing my skin, but still holding me tight.
"Yes, Carlisle?" He asked with an unsatisfied but patient smile, facing his father. Carlisle smiled with joy, and wouldn't blush even if he could.
"I just wanted you two to remember what I told you earlier, and I would really appreciate if you thought it through, carefully. We don't want to upset anyone if it's not necessary. Jacobs situation is really worth a thought, you if any, should know that, Bella." I nodded; I was going to do my best to save my daughter and friend from pain.
"Don't you want to hear what I have seen?" Alice interrupted. She seemed a bit disappointed and pouted her lips, she was not used to being ignored, especially not from Edward who took all her visions seriously.
"We're not in a hurry, Alice. It can wait, let these two think through their daughters future instead." Those words felt heavy on my shoulders, and I shivered under the weight. It didn't seem fair to me that her future had to be decided now.
Edward nodded as well. "Of course, I don't like it, but we'll have to." He scooped me up in his arms, while my mind still was on our daughter. "Let's go to our meadow." He murmured in my ear, and we flew out through the door.
"I can walk myself, even run as fast as you, remember?"
"I know, but I like carrying you, always have." He kissed my forehead.
"I'm not a baby, Edward." He chuckled.
"That depends on what you're aiming at. In vampire-years, you are just a baby. And you're my baby as well."
"Oh, please." I moaned. This was both embarrassing and irritating. It was so like him. He chuckled and kissed me again.
"I'm jut being honest. Whatever happens I will always protect you with my life, you know that." He stopped in the middle of the meadow; laying me down on the, for once, dry grass. He bent over me, kissing me intense and breathtaking, as always. I put my arms around his neck; grabbing two handfuls of his bronze-hair, making it impossible to pull away. He chuckled and smiled around my lips.
"Little possessive tonight, are we?"
"I'm always like this around you, haven't you noticed?"
"Of course." He mumbled against my collarbone. Both our breathings were uneven and fast by now. I was light-headed, even though no oxygen got to my brain. His scent still had this effect on my, with or without the need to breath from my behalf. "I have to admit…" he hitched my leg around his hip, which made me gasp with surprise. "… that I love it. Very much." He chuckled once more, still with his lips against my throat. But as more eager we both got, the more I felt for tearing my dress apart; I became more aware of where we were.
"Edward?" I breathed in his ear. He moaned when he heard me calling his name, if it was out of disappointment and that he had heard the tone in my voice, I didn't know, but I hoped it wasn't.
"Bella." He whispered back, obviously not noticing my tone. I figured he was to busy. I had to take it all in my own hands, or take it out of my hands, since I had to let go off his hair to be able to think clearly.
"Edward, you know I love you, and I know that we've both been waiting for this all day, but…" his movements started to slow down. He listened. "… may we please not do this outside?" He didn't chuckle this time; he laughed, rolling off me and staring up in the sky.
"Do you even know how adorable you are when your this innocent, Bella? I'm sure you are the only vampire in the world who would be ashamed of loving outside." The way he said it made me feel really silly, and I didn't dare looking at him, if he was mocking me. When I didn't answer him, and didn't even look at him when he stroked my cheek, he moved closer. His nose was in my hair, lips pressed to my ear and cheek. His fingers followed the shape of my profile.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you." If he hadn't held his hand against my head he wouldn't have felt the tiny movement I used to shake it. I closed my eyes under his hand. "As soon as she's asleep, we'll go back. Just wait a couple of minutes, and you can have me however you want." I smiled; this was also so like him. My eyelashes brushed against his skin when I opened my eyes to look at him.
He was the one who looked hurt, or maybe worried that he had hurt me. But I smiled, like I always did when I thought of my incredible luck in life. What if I had never met Edward? What would my life look like now if they had not decided to move to Forks? What would his life look like?
I rolled to my side, so that I faced him.
"This is the only way I want you, just like this. Just like you are." He returned the smile, with more natural glow then I could ever manage. He put his arms around my waist, pulled me close enough for more kissing. I liked that.
He held it to a calm level while we were still in the meadow, not forcing me to do anything I didn't want to, even though I could feel his longing in every movement, every tension in his body.
Soon he breathed out, opening his eyes and gazing with his burning gold topaz into mine.
"Jacob has left." Edward whispered and lightly brushed his lips over mine.
Jake would only do that when Renesmee started talking in her sleep, something she had inherited from me. If I was away at night, which happened very rarely, Renesmees room was the place to find Edward. He still had the habit of watching while someone slept. But I guessed that I was the only one he'd ever done that too, and now while I didn't sleep anymore, he moved on to our daughter. If I hadn't known him, I have to admit it would've been very creepy. But he was just as overprotecting as ever.
I sighed, not with boredom, but with excitement, I had truly been longing for this all day. The nights with Edward was the goal of each day, besides watching Renesmee doing all the wonders she was able to do now. I rolled to my stomach so I could get up, but to late I noticed the small puddle of mud that was just above my head. When I got to my feet, half my hair was covered in mud, as well as my shoulders and parts of my face. Edward stared at me with shock and surprise in his face, biting his lips hard to not laugh. Even though I considered myself lucky in life, these kind of small things always happened to happen to me.
"Shoot." I growled. Alice would kill me for destroying this dress.
"You better take a shower and clean that out as soon as we get back." He managed to get through his teeth. The word shower gave me an idea. An idea I wasn't so eager to share.
"You're right, let's get back." I dashed away from there, but knew he was right behind me.
In a matter of minutes, I walked through the front door of the cottage. The wet tangles dripped mud-water to the floor, but I didn't care about that right now. From Renesmees room I could hear screaming and shouting, and I understood what Edward had said a year ago about getting a heart attack. If my body hadn't already been ice, that was what it would have become. Faster than I'd run through the forest I dashed into her room, fearing the worst.
But it was empty, only Renesmee lying in her bed screaming and crying with laughter.
"She's dreaming about Rosalie, and that time when Rose and Emmett tossed her through the air." He whispered in the dark behind me. I relaxed, now that I knew that there was nothing to fear.
"Thank you." Was all I could say.
"Anything for you." I smiled a pale smile at him, turning and heading to the bathroom. He stayed outside, probably doing something innocent, while having quite different thoughts. I giggled over my shocking thoughts, and started talking my clothes off.
In the instant I put on the shower, I knew exactly how I would play out this plan of mine. I was honestly shocked over the dirty workings off my mind when it came to what I wanted.
"Edward!" I called, silently, I knew he would hear me despite the shower.
"Yes, my love?" He seemed surprised. He should be.
"Can you come in here for a moment?" I hadn't closed the drapery to the shower, and the reaction in his body was instant as soon as he stepped over the threshold. He eyed me up and down, noticing the water running along my cold body, watching every lock of hair turning darker in the wet. Just the reaction I was aiming for. Inside my head, I was giggling. How easy I could play with him. He had to swallow hard to be able to lift his eyes too meet mine.
"Yes?" His voice trembled worse then I'd ever heard it before. He eyed me once more, sticking his tongue out to moisten his lips. Like if he had needed it. I guessed it was a human reaction to what he felt. My inner self giggled more. I really enjoyed this.
Slowly I turned my back at him, looking with innocent eyes over my shoulder.
"Could you please help me wash my back? It's hard too know if I get everything of." He couldn't possibly fall for this! The dirt would run of my marble skin the second the water touched it. I was almost certain that everything already was gone. But he didn't seem to notice that.
"Of course, love." He breathed, and stepped closer, very, very slowly. I was still looking over my shoulder, trying to hold my innocent mask in place. It was harder then I thought it would be.
He lifted one very shaking hand to touch my shoulders. I almost purred out of joy, this was better then I had expected. Gingerly and slowly, he brushed the mud of my back. The touch sent electric impulses throughout my body, making every muscle scream in pleasure. His breath flickered, jumping over some, taking some too fast.
He bent forward, kissed my neck and sighed.
"Clean." But I wasn't finished. I turned around and grabbed his neck with my hands.
Before I could understand the success in my plan, his lips crushed with more urgency then ever before against mine. Pushing me into the wall in the shower, his hands were all over my body at the same time. But my priority now was to get him naked, so without breaking the kiss, I started to unbutton his shirt. It would have gone faster if I just tore it open, but somewhere in my head someone told me that was wrong. Not because Alice would be angry with us, but simple so I could prolong this moment of upper hand. As soon as it was open, he pulled it of himself, still not breaking the kiss. Smiling now, I followed the line of his upper-body, his stomach, down to his pants. He had moved his lips to my neck, kissing the place where my artery once transported the oxygen to my brain. The one place where he had been most eager to sink his teeth when I was still human.
Crushing me up against the wall, which I began to wonder if it would hold for the pressure, he breathed heavily against my neck. My fingers found the button too open his pants. I flipped it open, and they fell to the ground. He moaned, kicking the now damp fabric out of the shower, pressing his body hard against mine. I had never understood why any of us wore underwear, but I guessed that was really didn't matter at all. However all I could think about now was the white, tight, boxer shorts I knew he always wore underneath his clothes.
Once again I let my hand slid down his chest, to the edge of the underwear. It was harder to get these of, and he wasn't willing to give me a hand. But I managed, and soon more damp fabric lay on the bathroom floor.
He knew when he was entirely naked. Considering his reaction, he had just been waiting for me to finish his stripping. He smiled in the kiss, grabbing my thigh and almost threw it up around his waist. The other one followed without any help.
With the water still flowing over both our heads, he penetrated me. The sweet, sweet pleasure of having him inside me filled me up, making my entire body shiver with enthusiasm. I had never been a moaner, more of a breather, but now I couldn't help the sounds that came from my throat. That excited him, and his moved up the pace. He filled me with pleasure whatever he did. Edward-happiness.
I didn't know how long it had been since I got into the shower, but very too soon I started reaching climax. I grabbed his face between my hands, kissed him long and tender before the Edward-happiness took over. I inhaled in the exact moment when he shivered, sighed and became still. Bella-happiness? I thought, starting to kiss him again.
"Always." He murmured between the sighs of pleasure and happiness. "I have to admit, this was quite unexpected. I didn't think you were able to manipulate me so easy."
"You forget…" I giggled. "… that you're a man, Edward. Men are easy to manipulate, there aren't many things as tempting as a female body to you." His hands were all over again.
"Especially yours." He put me down on the floor. I was a bit unstable, but he didn't let go for a second. "I can't think of anyone or anything more tempting, ever, than you. You are completely perfect."
"Well, thank you. It's always nice to get compliments from my personal miracle." He chuckled, leaning away from me, but not more then an inch.
"I might have to go back on what I said about innocence." He murmured, with feigned seriousness.
"I am innocent." I gasped, eyes wide. "It's not my fault that my husband is a man." He leaned close again, letting the tip of his nose follow my jaw.
"You should be glad that your husband is a man, as I am that my wife is a woman." Smooth marble skin traced down from my waist to the inside of my thigh and back up again. Whatever he did filled me with happiness. "What we just did would have been rather difficult otherwise." He chuckled when he heard the speeding of my breath.
"Don't try to tell me that you're becoming the innocent one in this." I said under my breath.
"Of course not. I have never been as pure as you. You have no idea." What did he mean with that? The old jealousy over Tanya stabbed me hard.
"Tell me."
"Oh? Bella, my love, are you jealous?" I turned my face away, with a deep frown in my forehead.
"No." He chuckled.
"Yes you are, and you're more adorable then ever when you are. But you don't have to worry. All those thoughts started after I saw you the first time."
"Ew, Edward. You sound like a pervert."
"Maybe I am. I considered myself a peeping tom every time I came to your room to watch you sleep. Some of those times my imagination quite ran away with me." I gasped, that was unexpected!
"How far?"
"This far." He said and kissed me urgently, crashing my body against the wall again.
"So you imagined me naked?" I managed to say when he felt like letting go of my lips.
"Many times. At first I wasn't sure if I could handle it, so I pushed the thoughts away as soon as they stepped into my head. But sometimes, later…" he moaned. "You have no idea." I started giggling, very embarrassed but very happy. How could I think anything else about him?
I laughed so much he had to step back. He looked confused and, maybe a bit hurt, when he eyed me.
"No…" I gasped. "No, I don't mean it like that." I repressed the giggling, but couldn't stop from smiling. "I just remembered all the times when I felt rejected, and thought that you didn't look at me that way. I was very foolish, I can see that now." I kissed the palm of his hand. "You are a man after all."
"You had no reason to feel rejected."
"I can see that too." I turned of the water, which had started bugging me. He grabbed my hands and dragged me out of the shower. I picked up one of Renesmees towels from the bathroom cupboard, and started drying my hair. Our bodies would be dry soon enough, without any help, or any discomfort from cold.
"Do you remember that time in Port Angeles?" He asked, politely facing the opposite wall. I laid my arms around his neck from behind. My hair was now dry as dust.
"You don't have to turn you back at me. I don't mind you watching." I breathed in his ear, wet bronze-hair tickling my face. "And, yes, I remember Port Angels. If you're referring to the time when I almost got raped." His body tensed. Oops. I had stepped on a nerve I'd forgotten about. Carefully I kissed his neck, trying to sooth him.
"Yes, that time." He breathed between his teeth. I hadn't known he still had these feelings towards the men. But then again, he was vastly overprotecting.
"What about it?"
"Remember your blue blouse?" If I did! "That colour really triggered my fantasies, even the day after. The memory is clear like a movie for me. I was really thankful for the hideous sweater you where wearing, since Jessica had driven away with your jacket."
"And I wouldn't take yours, if Charlie asked."
"Yes, I know." He murmured, almost lost in memories. But I couldn't tell, I could only see parts of his profile. "I was grateful, cause I knew that if you had worn anything as delicate, I wouldn't have been able to keep my hands from you."
"For me, it didn't matter what you wore. You always looked like a model, or an angel. Mostly an angel." I smiled at the memory of him standing outside Charlie's front door, smiling his crooked smile and greeting me. I walked around him, so we stood face to face again. "Nothing could stop the dreams you know I had." He wrapped his arms around my naked waist. He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine.
"The fact that I can't hear you thoughts gets easier now that I know that you're speaking them out loud. Thank you." He kissed me.
"My pleasure." I said, smiling in the kiss.
"Maybe we should put some clothes on, love. If Nessie sees us like this, it might give her a childhood trauma." We laughed quietly.
"There is nothing traumatic in two loving parents. But you're probably right, as always." I let go of him, and walked back into our bedroom, the fastest way to the closet. But he caught up with me before I got passed the bed, wrapping his arm around my waist again.
"Not so fast, Bella. I didn't say we should do that now."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"I have, as always." He smiled, kissed my ring and laid me down on the bed.
"What was it Renesmee wanted from us yesterday? Or should I say you?" It was early morning, very early morning. The sun had just minutes before started to peek over the trees.
I had my back turned to the window. Edward lay inches away from me, as soon as the sunlight would reach our room, he would glisten with thousands of diamonds, and I was longing for it. He stroked his fingers along the side of my body, sort of distracted. He didn't answer.
"Edward?" I grabbed his hand and kissed it. Then he looked at me.
"Kiss me." He said. That was an unusual request, he usually didn't wait for me to take the steps, but I didn't mind. I still wanted to kiss him 75% of the time, sometime 100% of it. That was what we had been doing all night, among some other things that didn't require that much mind activity.
I wormed closer to him, grabbing his face between my hands and kissed him like I wanted him to kiss me. He answered just as I wanted him to.
"Well?"
"She's trying to make me take Jacob with us, and then let her live with him, or him with us." I froze, my fingers tense against his face. Jacob, live with us? Edward, Renesmee and I? Or just leave her with him, alone? I could see why she didn't ask me first, but went through her father. I loved Jacob like a brother, like a son, but living under the same roof would be impossible. But I wouldn't let him have my daughter all to himself either.
"Please, don't make that face, my love. I'm sorry." I hadn't realized that my face was troubled and filled with pain before he closed his arms around me. "I will come up with something." He promised, caressing my hair and back. I shaped myself along his body, hiding my face in his chest.
"No." I whispered. "I knew that this would happen. After all they have… imprinted. If it's just half as strong as our love then it will destroy them both if we separate them. He has to come with us." But I won't let him live with us.
"Thank you, mommy!" I was the only one who seemed shocked when Renesmee jumped up in our bed and snuggled up between us. Edward had obviously heard her before I did. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." She kissed me twice for each thank you. Edward chuckled.
"Calm down, princess. You might not be able to kiss her to death, but you'll have to wait for her reaction. Just be patient, love." He stroked her gently over her back; listening to the things she was telling him in her head. "Now, now, Nessie. Don't rush ahead of things. We'll have to talk to Alice first." He shot a glance at me, and his eyes froze. The troubled look had come back. "Are you sure, Bella?" I shrugged.
"I have no choice, do I?"
"Thank you, mommy." Renesmee hugged my neck, and kissed my cheeks more. "I promise he will behave, or I'll be mad with him. I know he doesn't like that, so he won't make me." I really wondered where Renesmee had gotten her incredible honesty. Maybe the fact that her father could hear all her thoughts, and she was willing to make everyone else her them as well made her very direct and easygoing with the truth. I had always been a bad lair, but it hadn't kept me from lying. Especially not for the sake and happiness of my family. In Renesmees world there were no such thing as a lie.
Edward's arms locked us both to his chest.
"I love you two girls more then the world, you know that?" He sighed, swelling with happiness.
"I love you too, dad." Renesmee glanced at me when I didn't answer. "Don't you love dad as well, mom? Or is that a passed chapter in your life?" This was so typical Renesmee at this stage of her life. Honest, direct and mature beyond her years. But sometimes she got things very wrong, like now.
Edward froze, staring with fear at me, almost as if this seemed completely logical to him; that I could grow tired of him. He was out of his mind.
I started laughing, pinching Renesmees cheek, like I knew she hated.
"I love your father more then ever, Renesmee. More then you could ever imagine. He can never be a passed chapter in my life, he is my life, together with you."
"I'm glad too hear that. And don't worry dad, I was just teasing you, I knew that mom felt that way." She giggled.
"That wasn't very nice, you little brat." He growled and started tickling her. She screamed in laughter, and begged him to stop. "Say you're sorry." He laughed.
"I'm sorry, dad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He stopped immediately and scooped her up in his arms.
"You just had to say it once."
"Oh, dad, you are so mean."
"Do you think I'm mean, Bella?" I had been watching the little fight with amusement, and smiled widely at them both.
"Of course not, Edward. You are the softest creature on Earth."
"What did you say?" He growled playfully, still with Renesmee in his arms. But he dropped her suddenly, jumping at me, kissing every inch of my body instead of tickling.
"That you're the softest, most tender, most loving father and husband on Earth. Am I wrong, Renesmee?" The little girl jumped up on his back, glowing as always.
"No, you're completely right, mom." She patted his head. "He's truly, very loveable."
"That is exactly what I have always thought. Do you know what, love?" He seemed to enjoy being in the middle of attention, but as soon as I remembered something and got a certain look at my face, the satisfied expression disappeared and he became worried. I kissed him, just to make him calm down.
"No, what, mom?" She answered after making a face over the kiss. She was only around 9 human years; I figured that would be the reasonable reaction to physical love.
"Your uncle Emmett told me something, some time ago. Would you care to know?" The impact my words set on the two so similar faces was hilarious. Renesmee shone up like a light, while Edward seemed even more terrified. "Calm down, Edward, it isn't that bad." I said, patting his face like he was five. His eyes tightened.
"What did Emmett say?" If it Renesmee had a favourite uncle, even though she only had two, it was Emmett. He was the ultimate playmate, always ready for anything new and, hopefully, dangerous. No less then five times had Edward stopped the game or crashed it because it was too risky for her. It would take about a week before he was forgiven, and then the games started again.
"Emmett said" I started with a smile "that your father used to be as scary as any of them before."
"That's hard to believe." She admitted.
"Do you want to hear what happened?" She nodded impatiently.
"I saw your mother for the first time, that was what happened." He said, rolling over, catching her in his arms.
"But why did that change you so much? Were you afraid of mom, dad?" He looked at me with accusation in the gold.
"No, princess. Your mother was as non-scaring as you'll ever be."
"Dad!"
"It's only the truth, love. How ever, I worked really hard so she would like me. But at the same time I didn't want her to like me." I could see why he didn't want to tell this story to Renesmee. It was hard to explain the different emotions I knew he had been having in the beginning. "I know it's confusing, princess, but it ended with me being as nice as possible so she would stick with me. And together with her, that behaviour got stuck. And when you were born, I had another reason to be nice. So here I am, the worlds softest vampire."
"I don't mind you being nice, dad. I like it."
"Oh, I heard that last, even if your mother didn't!" She giggled, jumped down from the bed and ran out of the room.
"I'm going to Rose!" She yelled over her shoulder.
"Not alo…" but the front door had already closed behind her. I was just about to go after her, when Edward grabbed my wrist and pulled my back to the bed.
"Calm down, Bella. Just stay with me for a while."
"But…"
"She'll make it. Sometime has to be the first. It isn't that far, I bet she's already down there." I was filled with worried mother-feelings, but was soon overpowered by the happiness his touch gave me. Would my physical desire for him ever stop? I really hoped not, nothing gave me more pleasure.
"Okay, you win." I said before he kissed me. He chuckled.
"I always win." I groaned. "Does it bother you that much?"
"No, not when you winning means that I get to enjoy your unbelievable kissing-skills." I confessed
"Well, thank you, love."
We kept our underwear on, never knowing if someone would step over the threshold. But that didn't make his hands less eager. I had to stop him several times, even though I didn't want to, when fingers started to unlock my bra or pulling down my knickers. He gave me the hurt look on his face every time, but destroyed the whole make-Bella-feel-guilty-so-she-doesn't-stop-me-act with his amazing smile. Maybe that was part of the plan, cause his smile left me, as always, dizzy and all my bones felt like jelly. I threw my arms his neck, hiding my face.
"You're unbelievable!" I might have sounded angry, since he instantly tried to loose my grip and pull me away.
"I'm sorry." He murmured in my hair, trying to bend up my arms. But I wouldn't have that, and was grateful for the power I possessed. All the power necessary to never let go of him.
"Stop saying that, you have nothing to be sorry for." I kissed his neck, from the collarbone up to his jaw. He relaxed and let his hand slide from my fingers, down my arm to my waist. Quickly he rolled over me, with one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek. His lips were not more than an inch away from mine, and I could feel his body pressing down on mine. He no longer felt the need to hold himself up, so I wouldn't be crushed. This weight didn't bother me at all.
He saw something in my face, most likely the desperate longing for his lips that I felt, and he smiled his crooked smile. Instead of doing what I wanted, he started to run his fingers through my hair and down my neck.
"Stop teasing me." I mumbled and crossed the inch that kept our faces apart. He chuckled but didn't pull his face away. Instead the kiss got more intense, and my legs separated without hesitation so his hips pressed against mine. I had totally forgotten about the possibility of someone entering the house, and I told myself, in a small moment of remembrance, that he would hear if someone approached and be able to stop himself. Maybe I was too optimistic, but I didn't care. Right now I didn't want him to stop himself.
But he didn't go all the way either. I figured that he thought I was going to be upset if he tried something again. He gave me one single push with his hips and then rolled of me again.
"I said stop teasing me." I growled and rolled up on him instead, putting one leg on each side of his waist. He looked with eyes wide in surprise.
"But…" I put on finger on his lips.
"No buts."
"But…"
"Uh-uh, what did I tell you." It was not a question. He grinned, gripped my hand. Suddenly I found myself on my back again.
"I thought you were worried about intruders." He chuckled, and leaned closer to kiss my neck.
"Well, I must admit that I believe in your abilities to control yourself, but not in holding back, in stopping yourself if someone was about to intrude." I mumbled, kissing his wonderful hair. He continued to chuckle.
"You have always overestimated my ability to keep my hands from you. If I had the control you think I have, I would never have touched you in the first place."
"Then I'm glad your control isn't perfect. I wouldn't be here if it was." He shook with laughter.
"Oh yes, you would." I smiled, and had to admit he was right. Even if he hadn't touched me, I would have touched him, sooner or later.
In that moment the sun touched his arm. The reflections from the sparkles lit up the ceiling and walls in our bedroom, but he didn't seem too notice. I let my hand follow his arm up to the light and covered it, as if I wanted to catch this beauty. Instead my hand was the one casting reflections everywhere. As if he was wondering what I was doing, he shot a glance to the centre of my attention. He had never liked the way the sun made him look, and when I was admiring it he probably wondered over my psychological health. He got out of the bed and drew the curtains close.
"Hey!" I sat up, with my legs over the end of the bed, covering my body with the sheets.
"Intruders." He said, very low without looking over his shoulder.
"What?" As soon as the word slipped out, someone knocked at the door.
"Hikers." He said.
"What shall we do?" He's smile flashed and disappeared.
"Open of course. We don't want to be rude, Bella." He had already put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed what lay closest, which turned out to be his shirt. Ah, typical. It knocked on the door again. The shirt didn't cover much, just my upper body and an inch off my thigh. Lucky our door was facing north. I half-ran out into the living room to get the door, pulling a hand through my hair. It was, without a doubt, a complete mess. I could with ease picture how I looked, and understood that Edward enjoyed this, in his own, vicious way. I felt his arm around my shoulders the moment I reached the door and opened it.
"Yes?" Outside the door stood two men in their late twenties. My throat was immediately in flames. I had to remind myself not to breath, to not jump at them like my body wanted me to. The men were standing on a distance from each other, and us. One was red-haired, red-bearded, fair-skinned and large, almost as big as Emmett. He looked like the typical Irish-man or maybe a Viking, as they show of in Hollywood. The other one was almost the complete opposite; only he was as large as his friend. He had a shaved head, but the beard was huge, and if I hadn't seen their dog tags, I would have believed he was much older then 28. None of them had golden or red eyes.
Both of them eyed me from my toes to my hair and then went over to Edward. They seemed surprised over our youth, and probably our beauty. It felt awkward having two large men looking at me like that, and only I could hear the quite growl in Edward's chest when he heard their thoughts. But it only lasted for a moment; soon the dark looked me straight into the eye.
"Good morning, ms. I'm sorry if we're intruding…" his eyes went down to my clothing and to Edwards posture, and back to my face again. It was obvious what he was thinking, but then again, he was right. "… however, my friend here and I are lost. This is our first time in the Olympic Mountains and, well, I guess we were a bit stupid to not believe in the salesperson down in town when they said we shouldn't take this trip if we didn't know the land. But what has happened has happened. Even though this is a very odd place to live, I can't tell you how happy we were to find you." I was taken by a bit of surprise over his polite words and soft voice. It didn't match my first impression of them as men in the wild. Edwards arm tightened around my shoulder.
"I'm very sorry, my fiends, but my wife and I will not be able to show you the way down to the town." Both of them made a very small face when they heard the word "wife". I understood their feelings. To them we looked like two 18-years old, how many 18-years old were married and lived in the mountains? Edward was satisfied; apparently their thoughts about me had abruptly ended. "But we might have a map somewhere. Bella, love, could you go get it?" I gave him a confused look, but he just smiled politely at me. What was it with him? But I did as he asked me, I knew exactly where the map was. Edward and Renesmee had spent an evening memorizing it, and then told each other exactly what was located in each square. If she was wrong, she had to go to bed earlier, and if he was wrong, she could stay up later. But none of them ever had wrong, so Renesmee had to go to bed at her regular time anyway, casting dark looks at her father. He was as proud as a three-year old. It must be great having a super-brain.
I heard them talking in the door, while I had to move at a human-speed through the house. I didn't want to listen, even though I could, but Edward's laughter reached me whatever I did. He was going to have to tell me what was so funny later.
I gripped the map and went back to the door. Edward turned around when he heard me behind him, not too soon so the humans would wonder.
"There she is. Did you find it?" As if he didn't know already. I was really starting to wonder what was going on.
"Yes, of course I did." I smiled and fanned myself with the map.
"Excellent." Growled the red-haired. Edwards jaw tightened, but relaxed instantly. I unfolded the map and gave it to him.
"We are here." He pointed at a place southwest of our actual position, more close to Forks. "The town is here." His finger pointed at the obvious place of it, all the grey could only mean one thing. "If your taking this with you, I believe you will have no problem finding your way." He handed it over.
"Well, thank you very much for your information. We'll start going back and leave you to your business." He winked at Edward, who smiled wider then ever. My head spun with questions. "Thank you, good bye." They turned around and disappeared into the forest. Silently, Edward closed the door.
I could feel how my eyes had narrowed and I stared at him with accusations. He didn't mind it, just looked innocent like the angel he was.
"What was that about? And don't think you'll get a way with a shrug!" But he did anyway.
"They were just men. Some thoughts I didn't like passed the red-heads mind, but the dark one was just admiring you." Why wasn't I surprised?
"Was that it?"
"No, they wanted to know why we lived like this." He turned away his eyes, looking around in the cottage, as if he first now realized how wonderful it was. But I wasn't fooled.
"And? What did you say?" I folded my arms across my chest, eyes still narrow.
"I said, that if their wives was as beautiful as you, they would also choose a little cottage to live in. But somehow they read more in my words then I meant, it was a little frustrating that I couldn't tell them to stop." He looked irritated, tightening his jaw. I relaxed; there was nothing more to it then his love of bragging. "They weren't late to tell me how lucky I was, but that it probably wasn't so hard for me with my looks. The last thing wasn't told out loud, though. Then they wished me luck with making you stick, the dark one warned me for beautiful women. As if all my years with Rosalie hadn't taught me that already." I was surprised that he actually told me what the conversation had been about. I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"You know I will stick with you, so don't worry about that. But I have to be glad that Renesmee ran away before. If she had been here, it would have been hard to fool them."
"That is true. I said we did right in letting her go." He breathed in my hair.
"Men." I shook my head against his chest. He chuckled. "But why did you show them the wrong place on the map?" I suddenly remembered.
"So they wouldn't come back, of course." His voice made it sound like I was stupid that hadn't understood that already.
"But if they get lost again?"
"They won't. You should know; they weren't lost to begin with. They were just curious of the house in the middle of nowhere, so they came up with a story. And they weren't disappointed when you opened the door, that's for sure." He started unbutton the shirt, kissing my forehead. "You are, without a question, much too beautiful and tempting for your own good." He whispered when the white shirt fell to the floor.
"I'm lucky I have you, then. Someone who wouldn't dream of taking advantaged of my poor knowledge." He froze with his fingers at the lock on my bra. I laughed, and pulled off his t-shirt. "Don't worry, Edward. I'm only teasing you. I love it when you're taking advantage of me." That was all the encouragement he needed.
Thank you for reading. Please review. Have a good day, or night if you live in Europe.