A/N: First of all, thank you for reading this. I really appreciate any reviews (signed or anonymous) and want to thank you in advance if you leave one. My e-mail account won't let me reply to them but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for them. Again, thanks and I hope you enjoy this. I worked really hard on it.
It was a brisk afternoon, not uncommon for late October. Thirty one year old Izzie Stevens-Duquette, anxiously walked down the street to the beautiful brownstone she and her husband, Denny Duquette, acquired under rather unfortunate circumstances. The sudden death of Denny's grandmother. With five children and thirteen grandchildren, the logical thing to do, was sell the property and divvy up the profit between each of them. However, anyone who knew Mary Duquette understood without question, that logic was not likely when it came to her last wishes. The spiteful old witch loved to cause disorder, stirring up trouble anytime the opportunity presented itself. Denny was named the sole recipient of her estate, causing an uproar within the Duquette family. Even in death, she was pitting them against one another for her own sick, twisted amusement.
The wind howled around Izzie, rustling up leaves and making it hard to hold onto the package she carried. A present for her husband, an antique camera. Denny was a photographer, like his father. A genius when it came to capturing the most breathtaking images. Tiny droplets of rain began to fall from the early evening sky, turning quickly into a heavy downpour. She smiled, nothing could sour her good mood, tonight was her turn and she had been very patient.
As she climbed the concrete steps, her heel snapped. Loosing her balance, Izzie had two options. Let go of the camera and steady herself with the railing, or hang on tightly and pray the fall would not kill her. Her decision was made; she grasped firmly onto the box, closed her eyes and waited for the fall. A strong hand landed on her back as she began to tip backwards. "Whoa, that was close."
It was Alex, Denny's assistant. "Thank you." She blushed. "Those were my favorite shoes though." It didn't matter. They were just shoes. Any other day she would have been more upset over the loss, but not today.
He held open the door for her and offered to carry the present. She thanked him politely and handed it over. They rode the elevator in silence; it wasn't that they didn't like each other. They were complete opposites; the only thing they shared an interest in, was Denny's work and a place to live. Alex slept in the spare bedroom and kept mostly to himself. Half the time, they hardly knew he was there. "What's in the box?"
"An antique camera Denny has had his eye on. It's our anniversary." Ten years they had spent together and tonight she was going to shed her usual inhibitions and enjoy a little wild behavior. She had been a virgin when she met Denny, a shy twenty-year-old girl who grew up with two beautiful sisters. She was the ugly duckling. The girl most men used for the chance to get closer to the prettier Stevens girls. While taking full advantage of her intelligence, they were never afraid to ask her to do their homework or let them copy off her exams. It all changed with Denny. He wanted her. Not Jen or Amy, only her. She thought back to their first night together, she had been scared and he reassured her. Saying not to worry, it would only last a few minutes and it probably wouldn't hurt that much. It had hurt, stung like hell and created an unpleasant burning sensation that lasted until the next day. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that though, so she lied. Biting back the tears, she told him it wasn't as painful as she had expected.
"Happy anniversary." Izzie noticed the sadness in his voice. He was lonely. All her efforts to fix him up were turned down; he was resigned to being alone. It was a waste. Alex was a nice guy and he was attractive too. In a rugged brooding sort of way. On occasion, she fantasized to help her get through nights that were not hers. Alex was what she considered a returning guest star, returning more often than not. Oh, she had plenty of fantasies about her husband too, but never while he was occupied.
Inside the apartment, Izzie took the package from Alex and thanked him again for his help. He muttered that it was not a problem; he was going to take a shower to try to warm up from the cold rain. Izzie did not need to warm up; her skin had been on fire with the anticipation of what was to come.
Walking into the bedroom, she was shocked at what was happening before her eyes. Denny was on the bed in his underwear, staring at the naked woman who danced seductively on top of the mattress in front of him. Olivia Harper, Denny's live in mistress was giving quite the show, pinching her erect nipples and spreading her legs as wide as she could in the position she held. "Hello." Izzie said in a fake cheery voice, trying very hard to disguise the fact she wanted to grab the tiny redhead and shove her out into the hallway. "What's going on?"
"Hey sweetheart. Olivia was just demonstrating some new poses." It wasn't enough that he informed Izzie a few years ago he was going through some sort of mid-life crisis and planned on getting a mistress. It wasn't enough that last Christmas his twenty three year old mistress spent the night and never left. It wasn't enough that Izzie was forced to take turns sharing her husband with this woman or that eventually she was sleeping on the other side of Denny in their bed, every night. Now she was invading their anniversary too. What was next, would he expect her to have sex with Olivia? "If you need us, we will be in the studio."
"Wait, you're going to the studio? Now?" Barely taking his greedy eyes off Olivia, Denny fed her some excuse about needing to capture the image while it was fresh in his mind. "But it's our anniversary."
He stopped short of the door and turned around, for a fleeting moment Izzie thought he might stay. "Oh, happy anniversary." He swiftly kissed her forehead before leaving the room with Olivia.
Stunned, Izzie sunk down on the bed. Holding back an onslaught of emotion, she formed a new plan. If he was not going to give her what she needed here and now, she would have to go to him and do things his way. She cringed, just this once. Just this one time she would throw caution to the wind and do something she hoped she would not regret.
~*~*~*~*~*
Sliding open the double doors to the studio Denny had built in their home, Izzie was met with a scowl from Olivia who lay naked on a bed of soft white feathers. Denny stood above her, camera in his hand and his cock standing at attention. "Izzie the light!" He snapped, she was going to ruin the shot.
She had forgotten, the light in the hallway was steaming through the open doors. "Sorry." She stepped in and closed them behind her.
"That's it baby, open up those legs and give me a nice look at your pussy." Denny coached. The knot in Izzie's stomach tightened, making her gag back the bile that threatened to rise. Hearing him address the other woman in such a manner, was completely unnerving.
Having stripped out of most of her clothing before she left her bedroom, Izzie suddenly felt self-conscious. Standing in only her ruby satin bra and panties, she reasoned with herself that this was the only way she would have the man she married. It was awkward, she didn't know how to do this. What was the protocol for asking to join your husband and his girlfriend? "Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked, trying to cover the nervousness in her voice.
"Yeah, come here." She fought the urge to run in the opposite direction and moved forward until she was standing beside him. "Hold this for a minute." He shoved the camera in her hands and knelt next to Olivia, propping her leg up and draping her hand so that her fingers were close to the mound of flesh between her legs. He kissed the porcelain skin of her abdomen before returning for the camera. "Thanks." Almost dismissing her from the room with his nonchalant behavior, the bastard went back to shooting his precious photo.
Denny was enthralled with Olivia, so much that he almost missed Izzie backing slowly out of the room. Almost. "I've got a surprise waiting for you in the den, make sure you enjoy it. I spent a lot of money." His attention reverted back to snapping pictures.
Whatever it was, she was not interested. The only thing she wanted was to feel loved again by a man who couldn't take his eyes off of her. Another meaningless piece of expensive jewelry or whatever he had bought for her would never make her feel that way, not when he was pacifying her so he could spend time with another woman.
The dark room was bathed in a soft orange glow from the crackling flames in the fireplace. As she entered the room, she noticed right away she was not alone. Sitting on the brown leather couch was a man, his boyish looks were no distraction to the fact he wore nothing but a nervous smile on his face. "Hi, I'm George. You must be Izzie." He stood to extend his hand and knocked over the photo of Denny's dead grandmother. Izzie tried to avert her eyes from the tiny penis that hung softly between his legs. "Crap…I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous, I've never done this before." His cheeks blushed with embarrassment. "I mean, I've done this before….plenty of times, just never for money."
Her face screwed up in a myriad of emotion, most prominent was the disgust she felt for her husband. He paid someone to have sex with her and as crazy as it sounded, it infuriated her that he didn't know her well enough to at least choose the type of man she was attracted to. "I'm sorry, there must have been some sort of mistake." There was no mistake, it was clear to her exactly what her husband had in mind. "I won't be needing your…services." She cleared her throat, uncomfortable with the whole situation.
"But…I need the money."
She felt bad for him. Not bad enough to let him earn his pay. "You can keep the money." Collecting the pile of clothing off the arm of the couch, Izzie shoved them at his chest. "In fact, I'll double it if you can get out of here quickly." He wasted no time getting fully dressed, throwing on his boxers, jeans and t-shirt he slipped out the way he came in.
Pouring herself a tumbler full of vodka, Izzie plunked down on the couch and watched the fire. Her perfect little life was crumbling around her and she was powerless to stop it. The question was, did she even want to stop it? Gulping down the liquid, Izzie cursed herself for letting things get this way. If she had been more confident, shown more of a backbone when Denny came to her with this insane idea of taking a mistress. She was afraid to tell him no, she might loose him. The problem was, she was going to loose him eventually anyway, she could feel it.
"You okay?" His voice startled her. "I could hear you crying."
Izzie hadn't realized she had been crying so loudly. "It's all falling apart and I don't know how it happened. It's all my fault." She choked out between sobs. Her marriage was a joke. She had wasted her life on a man who barely acknowledged her existence.
Alex took a seat next to her, holding back the anger he felt toward the jerk who made her cry. "It's not all your fault." Denny was a big part of why things were so screwed up in their marriage, it was sad that she didn't see that. "Denny's an ass."
Izzie found it hard to believe that Alex felt that way. Men stuck together when it came to that kind of thing. Didn't they? An exclusive group of horny little pigs, she thought. "He's your friend Alex, you probably worship him…"
"He's not my friend, he's my boss and I don't think it's right…the way he treats you." He tucked a golden strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. "It's not right Iz, not all men are like that."
Izzie didn't know what to say, all this time she thought Alex admired her husband. "How do I fix it? How do I become the type of woman he wants?"
Alex doubted there was anything Izzie could do at this point, things were too far gone to repair. "Honestly, I don't know. I think he's an idiot for not wanting the woman you already are." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. She was beautiful. There was no denying the fact that she was physically attractive, anyone could see it….but there was much more. The inside was just as amazing, she had a beautiful soul. Kind and caring.. How could Denny prefer Olivia to Izzie? He didn't understand. The man was a blind moron, spending most of his nights with his mistress while his wife sat alone in the darkened den, blaming herself.
"I can't even remember the last time he really kissed me." She admitted. Izzie always loved kissing and it had been far too long since she had been properly kissed, not to mention any other activities she enjoyed. Sex had happened once in the past six months. Not that it was anything spectacular either. He poked his dick inside her without the benefit of foreplay to make her wet and it was over in a matter of minutes. He was satisfied enough to roll off her and turn the TV on, going as far to shush her when she tried to tell him she wasn't done yet. The news was on and he wanted to hear the weather report. She was left with an intense need to reach orgasm. He didn't even notice when she slipped out of their bed and retreated to the bathroom to masturbate in a hot bubble bath. Her first real fantasy about a man that wasn't her husband happened that night as she brought herself over the edge. "I miss the kisses."
He wasn't sure why, but he felt the overwhelming need to press his lips against hers. Maybe it was seeing her so broken, crying half naked in the dark about a man that didn't deserve her. Maybe it was the fact that he had been in love with her for almost as long as he had been Denny's assistant and the only reason he moved into their house was to be closer to her.
Leaning in slowly, in case she wanted to stop him, Alex tenderly brushed his lips against hers. Her lips parted, giving him permission to explore further. His tongue snaked out, eliciting a soft moan. The taste of her mouth was sweet, like candy…drenched in vodka and salty tears.
Pulling away slowly, Alex tensed. He braced himself for the hard slap that should have come next. He just kissed a married woman, his boss' wife no less. At the very least he deserved to be yelled at, after all she hadn't asked to be kissed. Hadn't asked him to act upon his feelings, albeit hidden.
Her fingers grazed her lower lip, swollen from the heated kiss. She felt more in that kiss than she felt in the last five years of marriage. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…" He muttered, she should have known it was too good to be true. He felt nothing, not even a physical attraction.
Was she so undesirable that no man wanted her, unless paid to perform? "It's okay, you felt sorry for me. I get it." Unkissable, unloved, and unwanted.
In the morning she would pack her things and move to a hotel, living like this any longer was unacceptable. No more. She was asking for a divorce, not that Denny would care. He had what he wanted and it wasn't her. Looking back, it probably never was.
Alex opened his mouth, ready to tell her everything. He loved her, more than he ever loved anyone. It killed him to be so close to her and not have her. Watching that jackass Denny, treat her like shit all these years was going to end tonight. He was moving out and he wanted her to come with him. As he began to speak, saying her name in a soft whisper, she interjected. "I'm not feeling well; I think I'm going to go lie down." Before he could stop her, she was gone.
Alex felt like an idiot, he should have never pulled away. Nothing in the way she kissed him, told him she wanted it to stop. In fact, she had been the one to deepen it. He was an idiot.
~*~*~*~*~*
Curled up in her bed, Izzie wiped at the tears that would not stop leaking down her flushed cheeks. Incredibly, her main focus had not been her husband, who was screwing another woman right now in his studio. It was the man who had given her butterflies. Fluttering in the pit of her stomach from one soft sweet kiss. To be fair, the butterflies were there far longer than she dared to admit, every simple touch and even the smallest of looks from Alex Karev made her knees weaken. It was a feeling she had been trying hard to ignore for some time, but it never completely went away.
She sobbed into her pillow, almost missing the soft knock that came at her door. As some cruel joke, Izzie wondered if it was the clumsy young man George, back to try to earn his money again. It startled her when the door flew open and Alex strode in, dropping the box of tissues at her feet. "Here's the thing…."
If he was there to ease his guilt, it was not necessary. "Alex, I told you I understand. I really do so you don't need to explain anything….I just want to be left alone."
"Just shut up and listen!" Izzie gulped, watching as he paced back and forth. Wearing a path in the pure white carpet Denny insisted upon putting in every room. "I think about you. I think about you all the time." He admitted. It was time to tell her the truth, regardless of the outcome. He could find another job and there were plenty of crappy apartments for rent in the city. "I lay alone in my bed every night, three doors away from yours, listening as you cry yourself to sleep. Most nights, I find myself standing outside your door, telling myself what a complete fucking loser I am for not having the balls to knock." She sat up on her knees. "I hate blueberries! I hate blueberry muffins and I really hate blueberry pancakes!"
She didn't understand, Alex ate blueberry pancakes every morning and seemed to be excited to see her muffins cooling on the rack in the kitchen. "If you hate blueberries, then why do you eat them?" Her nose scrunched, she was confused about his hatred for the sweet little fruit.
"For you! I eat slimy, mushy, nasty tasting blueberries for you!" He climbed on the bed, mirroring her kneeling position. "Every time you stacked those goddamned pancakes on my plate, you would smile and wait for me to eat. I just wanted to see you freaking smile."
Izzie had no idea. Guilt slowly seeped in, if she had known he hated blueberries she would have made something different. Perhaps chocolate chip pancakes or even an omelet, it was just nice to share a meal with someone other than the cat. "I'm sorry…you should have said something, I could've made you something else."
She didn't get it, they weren't talking about breakfast. At least he wasn't, he was trying to tell her something. "I don't give a fuck about breakfast Izzie." He cupped her face in his hands. "I give a fuck about you." His lips pressed hard against hers and his fingers tangled in her hair.
Arching her back, she forced her body to become flush against his. The rigid outline of his cock, jutted out. She gasped, his fingertips trailed a path down her collar bone and teasingly circled her puckered nipple. Instantly hardening, it became almost painful, straining against her bra.
The kiss was broken as she dragged his shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor. "I'm going to fuck you the way you should be fucked." He whispered as the palm of his hand slid further down over the flat expanse of her stomach, coming to rest on her silk covered pussy. "I'm going to make sure you know how much I want you." His fingers started to move, slowly teasing her. "How much I've always wanted you."
Her panties dampened. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this excited at the hands of someone other than herself. Frankly she was getting tired of the constant self gratification. It was time the fantasy man became a reality, especially if he was going to keep doing what he was doing. "Oh god."
He smiled devilishly against the mound of flesh, just before sucking the stiffened peak through the thin materiel that covered her breasts. God help her, she was about to cum and he hadn't even removed her clothes yet. She tipped her head back, squeezing her eyes shut as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and slid them down. Automatically, she reached behind her back and squeezed open the clasp of her bra. Eager to feel his mouth against her burning skin, she dropped the garment, exposing her bare breasts to his hungry eyes. "You're beautiful." He whispered softly.
A faint whimper crossed her parted lips, she wouldn't ask…no matter how much she wanted to. If she woke up tomorrow to discover this was only another fantasy, then it wouldn't matter. And if it wasn't a fantasy….Alex's tongue darted out, circling her nipple before sucking it gently into his mouth….she would figure it all out in the morning.
~*~*~*~*~*
With the sheets tangled around her, Izzie smiled as she opened her eyes. Alex's arms were wrapped, protectively around her waist and she could feel his breath tickling her shoulder as he exhaled. For the first time in years, she didn't wake up feeling empty inside. Lifting her head off the pillow, she looked at the clock. It was only 5am, she groaned. They were up until at least midnight, maybe later. Time didn't matter last night.
Alex felt the bed shift, if she was trying to get away, he wasn't going to let her. "Going somewhere?" He pulled her closer until their bodies were flush.
"I should get up and make breakfast." One last breakfast in this house.
He kissed her bare shoulder. "Don't go." Fingertips traced a path from her shoulder to her elbow. "Stay here with me."
Izzie smiled as he began to nibble on her ear. "What if someone is hungry?" It sounded ridiculous that she would care, she was aware of that.
He rolled her onto her back. "You know the only one in this house that eats breakfast is me….and what I want is right here." He slipped beneath the sheets with a grin.
~*~*~*~*~*
There would be no blueberry pancakes that morning, or any other morning from now on. Breakfast in bed was so much better, she giggled, tying the robe together with a tight pull. Oddly, the kitchen light was on and the rich aroma of coffee brewing drifted into the hall.
Denny, sat at the table with the newspaper, a sight she hadn't seen for a while. Usually he was too busy for breakfast…or her. "Good morning sweetheart." It was almost too sweet.
"Good morning." She walked past him and took down two mugs from the cupboard. "I'm surprised to find you in here."
He laughed, it was a special occasion. "I wanted to find out how your night went. Did you have a good time?" As much money as he had shelled out, he better get some details from somebody.
Izzie's eyes narrowed, never taking them off the hot liquid she was pouring. "It was amazing actually."
"Good. How much extra do I owe him?" "I only paid him for last night…I didn't realize he had it in him to hang around and make a repeated performance."
She shrugged. "You don't owe him anything."
"Come on, he must want something. Hell, he deserves it." It sounded like the kid earned his money. Denny wasn't above giving proper pay for a job well done. You could ask Alex, who got paid well. The kid was brilliant and more than once Denny wondered why he stuck around when he could easily make it on his own. "I could hear you all the way in the studio, twice last night and again this morning."
Izzie blushed. "You heard?" She hadn't given it much thought, but they had been loud.
"Olivia said she was jealous." Her mouth dropped, she couldn't tell if he was kidding or serious. "That George kid sure has got some stamina, wish I was that age again." He folded the newspaper in half and laid it on the table. "Is he still here? I promised Olivia I would see about him joining us some night."
"No, he is not here." Agitated by her husbands audacity, her voice grew louder and suddenly had more of a snappy tone to it. "He left last night…very early." She slammed the spoon she had used to stir her cream in, down on the marble countertop.
Denny chuckled, he never thought of her as the masturbating kind. "So…you were alone?" He held out his hand to take the mug of coffee she had made for him, except she didn't stop. "Woman…where are you going with my coffee?"
She turned at the door and with a scowl on her face, she snapped at him. "No, I wasn't alone…and this coffee isn't for you."
That only left one person. "Alex…." It wasn't a guess. He knew he was right.
"I'm leaving you Denny." And with that, she walked away.
~*~*~*~*~*
It was a brisk afternoon, not uncommon for late October. Forty one year old Izzie Karev hurried down the busy sidewalk, holding onto the sticky hand of a little boy whose hazel eyes and short cropped hair resembled his fathers. At six years old, he was a charmer. Just like his dad, Izzie thought.
"Hurry up Matthew." Eight year old Abby, exasperated by her brothers lack of focus, commanded. He was more interested in stepping in every single puddle, splashing the mud everywhere. "Daddy's waiting for us."
"Your dad isn't going anywhere without us." Izzie laughed "And neither is the puppy." The promise of a dog had them anxious all week. "I do want to get inside before it rains though."
"Izzie?" She halted, the man standing on the steps of the brick building had aged greatly. "Izzie Stevens, is that you?"
"It's Izzie Karev now." She held up her left hand, showing off a sparkling diamond. "Alex and I have been married for a long time."
He smiled, ignoring the two young children who huddled together in front of their mother. "You look sexy."
Izzie sighed, it figured the only thing that changed was his attraction to her. "Goodbye Denny." It took only a few moments for her daughter to ask, who the man was. "Just someone I used to know a very long time ago." Thankfully, the answer was accepted and no further questions were asked.
Thick black clouds moved in from the west. Still a few blocks from home, there was no way they would make it without getting wet. A black SUV pulled up to the curb as drops of rain started to fall. "Daddy!" Matthew yelled, excited to see his father.
"Hey buddy." Alex scooped up his son and kissed his little girl on top of the head. They jumped in the car and Alex turned to his wife. She took a step towards him and the heel of her shoe snapped, sending her flying forward. "Whoa, that was close." He wrapped his arms around her waist, steadying her. "You okay?"
The sky suddenly opened up, soaking them both. "Those were my favorite shoes." She laughed, remembering their first night together, ten years ago. It started with a rainy night and a broken heel.
Alex brushed the matted wet strands away from her face. "Happy anniversary." His thumb traced her jaw. Leaning in, he captured her lips in a kiss.
Denny watched from the steps as Alex Karev, his former assistant and his ex-wife stood in the rain, kissing. Two children looking on from the car, rolling their eyes at the two people that gave them life. It could have been him, it was once upon a time. A picture perfect existence, shattered by his own selfish desires.
.