Me: Yo minna! Lightning587 here with Pienapple-sa-
Mukuro: I am not a pineapple.
Me: Who will play one of my favorite games...Disgaea 4! (I would've picked Disgaea 1 (My favorite of the series) but...)
Mukuro: Nonsense, when have I agreed with that?
Me: When you signed that contract. Ahem, -reads contract- In exchange for not calling your hair pineapple-like in anyway, you will have to play a random game.
Mukuro: You never stopped though.
Me: Anyway, let the horrible long level grinding begin! Also ingame lines and soundsare in Italics!
Mukuro sighed, "Well, better get this over with." He takes the PS3 controller and starts the game. After the serious yet humorous opening (which should've included pineapples)
and the strange dancing penguin...thingy on the loading screen, Mukuro was already bored. The most he got out of this so far was the vampire bats that he could make illusions out of. He moves his cursor on the option "New Game" and selects it.
Since the dawn of time...
Humans have always feared "the darkness".
"As they should."
Vampires, werewolves, zombies, ghosts...
"Reincarnated people with tridents..."
Although it differs slightly from culture to culture, people's fear of the darkness has grounded them into living conservatively.
In the current world...
Thanks to wars, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, accidents caused by human error, and daily incidents of murder...
"I can see why the author likes this so much."
Humans have grown to fear their own kind even more than the darkness itself.
"Hmm...maybe I like it, too."
The fresh dripping blood...
Fangs sinking into it's skin... said a not yet revealed character, in the shadow of a mansion.
What a splendid taste...
The extract of life overflows and fills my body...
"...What is this character doing, exactly?" Mukuro said, eyeing the screen.
I can feel it's power...
Ah the waves of ecstasy...
How magical...
"..."
The mansion lights up, showing a vampire-like demon and a werewolf-like one.
Are these insignificant creatures, known as sardines! Said the vampire. His name seems to be Valvatorez, as that's what's right next to his portrait.
"...That...was what he was doing?"
His name is Valvatorez, an elite Vampire who was once feared for being a tyrant.
"This...eccentric person was a tyrant?"
In spite of his legend, he now spends his life in Hades the Netherworld's prison, admiring sardines.
The camera then focuses to the werewolf. His Werewolf Steward, Fenrich, who routinely showers his master with praises and compliments.
Fenrich: As expected of you, Lord Valvotorez. No matter the hardships or circumstances, you are ever the optimist, my Lord.
Valvatorez: Hmhmhm...Listen to this, Fenrich. Sardines are the most ideal food because they are full of nutrients, like omega-3 fatty acids.
"..."
"Pineapples are better, right Mukuro-san, byon?" Ken said appearing behind Mukuro.
"Be quiet and go away, Ken."
In other words , they cleanse your blood, prevent various diseases, and help you to burn more fat.
"That Hibari guy should eat more sardines, byon. I'm pretty sure he has rabies or something, biting random people, byon."
"Chikusa, buy Ken some sardines."
"Hai, Mukuro-sama."
Valvatorez: I've been here for quite some time, but I never knew these cheap sardines possessed so much potential. One should never underestimate the studies that are conducted in the Human World. Hmhm...There is no doubt that my body is benefitting from these sardines' nutrition!
"Is he going to be talking about sardines the entire game?"
"Alot of the game, yes." Chrome said sitting next to Mukuro.
"You've played this before, my dear Chrome?"
"This author really enjoys this game and wants to share his enjoyment."
Valvatorez: This is evolution! My body is truly evolving since the time I was credited as being a tyrant!
Fenrich:...The fact that you don't even acknowledge it as degeneration is one of my Lord Valvatorez's many formidable powers.
"That's a formidable power? Kufufu...I see their standards are very low."
Fenrich: Care for another, to enhance your evolution, my lord?
Valvatorez: Hah! This one looks rather juicy and delicious. ...Huh? W-wait a second...!
Fenrich: Yes? Is there a problem?
Valvatorez: Fenrich! Once again you have attempted to sneak this into my meal!
"Kufufu, my my, is the loyal vassal poisoning his lord?"
Valvatorez: ...The blood of humans!
Mukuro showed a slightly bored face, "Such a disappointment."
Fenrich: As expected, my lord, you saw right through my deception.
Valvatorez: Of course! Never doubt a Vampire's sense of smell!
Fenrich I only meant it as a gift to my master, who has lost his power due to a foolish promise he made in the past.
"Ooh! Backstory, byon!"
"Do I care?"
Fenrich: Since you can't abide breaking promises, I figured it would be prudent for you to imbibe it unintentionally...Do you disapprove?
Valvatorez: How many times do I have to tell you! A proud demon like myself would never break a promise!
"Since when do demos care about promises? Hades must have changed after I died and left."
Valvatorez: Demon's promises are supposed to be sacred! They are contra-
Fenrich: Well, I admire that you have retained your values as a demon, even after you lost your powers and fell to Hades.
The strange penguin from the loading screen comes into the room the two demons are in.
Lord Valvatorez, all of the Prinnies have been gathered. Please come to the Prinny Factory. It said.
An esclamation mark appears on Val's head. Valvatorez: You, Prinny! Repeat what you just said!
Prinny: E-eek! I-I only asked you to come to the factory...
Valvatorez: Fool! You forgot to include "dood" in all of your lines! (pronounced the same as dude, dood.) Prinny Rule No. 1! You shall always include the word "dood" in every you say! (He's not being harsh, that's what Prinnies are supposed to do.)
Prinny: Y-you;re absolutely right, dood! I'm sorry, dooooood!
Val: (Valvatorez is too long and annoying to type...) Too late! You must start over from Level 1. Then, two other Prinnies come and take him away.
"These penguins, or "Prinnies" are really strange."
Level 1 Prinny task: Scrubbing the toilet. (That's really lenient...)
Fen: Can't even master the basics? The quality of the human souls is decreasing by the day. (Look at the bottom of the page in the A/N for more info on Prinnies.)
"Truest statement so far."
Val: That is why... That is why I have to do this. I vowed to become a Prinny Instructor the very day I fell to Hades because I knew this was my true calling.
Fen: What an impressive ability to overwrite his memory of losing his power and being forced to take the least wanted job in the Netherworld. This another one of his formidable powers. He can convert anything any suffering he's been through into something positive. (You're way too good to be a lowly Prinny Instructor, my Lord... Someday I ,Fenrich, will...)
Val:Let's go, Fenrich! It's time to fulfill our duty!
Episode 1
Rebels of Hades
Fen: Before we get going... I've gathered some support forces to help with your tasks. These people will come along and follow you as Prinny Instructors in training.
Three demons appear in front of Val and Fen, a shirtless man, a red-hooded boy, and a robed woman. They explain what they are, a Warrior, a Red Skull (Male ver. of mages), and a Cleric.
Val: Very nice, Fenrich. How very considerate of you. I was very wor-
Mukuro was getting tired of all this talking and rapidly and repeatedly hits the X button until he gets to the action, completely oblivious that the triangle was the skip button.
"Ah, finally, I can move." The character was Valvatorez on these weird platforms.
"...What do I do?"
"Mukuro-sama, move forward and talk to the dimesion guide to start the battle tutorial."
"Battle? Finally, something to do. Kufufu...I will astound you with my abilities. But first to check my allies weapons...How do I do that, my dear Chrome?"
"Go to the menu and check the status."
"Hmm...I wonder what my great characters weapons will have." He checks the weapons on his Prinnies and Catsaber (Which was introduced during the part Mukuro skipped...It's like a big cat.)
"Wha-what is this! Why are my monsters only supplied with sardine bones as weapons!"
"It's the starter weapons for monsters, Mukuro-sama, later you'll get better ones."
"Shouldn't they be supplied with pineapples, too being Mukuro-san's servants, byon?"
"Be quiet, Ken."
Me: And the actual battle will begin next chapter! Now for todays lesson on Disgaea!
Mukuro: Isn't this supposed to be about me?
Me: According to my memory, Prinnies are the lowest tier of demons. They are made from human souls who have done terrible things in their lives. Usually ends their sentences with dood. When thrown hard will explode. Prinnies usually become loyal servants to demons for almost non-existence pay and terrible working conditions. If they get enough money they cna be reincarnated and be free from their horrible Prinny lives. Once Prinnies are made they are either sent to the Netherworld or Celestia. Celestia is like heaven I guess. Prinnies can also repent to be reincarnated by doing enough good deeds in Celestia. Prinnies are incredibly strange dancing ballerina-style and stuff. They keep many things in bag in front of their stomach from money to knives to pans to bombs. Prinnies are usually used in comic relief and are generally loved by Disgaea fans.
Mukuro:That's alot of information. DIdn't think you were able to hold that amount of information in your tiny brain.
Me: If you have any questions about Disgaea feel free to ask me! Or google. Or wikipedia. They are very helpful.