'I love you.' That's all I had to say right back the day he spoke those words to me.
"Hey Kyle, can I tell you something?"
I turned to look up at Kenny. He wasn't even facing me, but from the side of his face he wore a nervous smile and his cheeks were tinted pink. His body looked tense, as if something was hurting him. But then again it was Kenny. I''m sure whatever it was, would go away by tomorrow.
I nodded giving him the okay to continue to continue.
"Well you see I've had a crush on someone for awhile now. And I don't know how this person feels. And it's weird cause I don't want him to know that I like him."
'Maybe if I wasn't so naive I could have realized what was going on.'
"But I think it's important that I tell him, just so that he knows." He finally turned to look me in the eye.
I gave him a confident smiled. "If your asking for my opinion, then I think you should go for it. Tell him." It was the obvious, but best information I could give. Not from experience. No. Just because I've watched so many chick flicks with Stan. When Shelly would babysit us, she would pop them in. Him and Stan had memorized every scene, every movement, and every line from 50 First Dates because of her.
Kenny nodded his head. "I love you." he shyly.
I grinned. "Yeah. You should go up to him and say it just like that. But with more confidence, and passion." Oh dear lord, I was sounding just like a side character. That's it. When I go home, I'm popping in some action movie, or maybe a porno. A couple hours watching Spider man and Wolverine should clear my head of all those romantic movies.
Kenny frowned and shook his head. "No," but the smile soon returned. "Kyle I love you."
I had stood there like an idiot staring at him. It had taken me awhile to figure out what was really happening. But soon confusion and shock had fallen all over my face. I didn't know how to answer him. It was so sudden and out of the blue. Kenny was one of my best friends. Second to Stan of course. And I didn't want to tell him that I didn't love him back. Even though I didn't love him. Not in that way at least.
What made it worse was my silence was all Kenny needed. Placing a hand on my shoulder he gave me a sad smile. "Hey I understand. It's alright." his smile brightened, but there was sadness and rejection in his eyes.
'Shit how he have made him feel this way?'
Only it wasn't till that night did he rethink everything. All the times when Stan couldn't hang out or when he had ditched him for Wendy. Kenny was there for him to be a replacement. Kenny was always the replacement. But was he the best friend replacement? No, how could he think of Kenny as the replacement? Even during times when he didn't want to hang out with Stan but Kenny?
He did like Kenny. His relationship with Kenny was different then it was with Stan's. It was closer? Even if him and Stan went on more adventures, always stayed at each others sides during tough, and paranormal occasions. Even if him and Stan were best friends since preschool, and they both knew everything about each other; there were somethings that Kyle could never tell Stan, that he had told Kenny.
Cause Kenny was the one person that Kyle knew he could tell, spill and rant to, and Kenny would not tell. He'd listen and never speak about it again. If Kyle felt like crying, Kenny was there to let him use his shoulder and comfort him. If he wanted to rant about something, mainly Cartman related, in three in the morning, Kenny would be the only one who would wake up and and listen to him.
But the question still remained. Did he love Kenny?
When with the other teen he didn't feel speechless. He didn't get flustered. His heart didn't beat any different or his stomach knot. Everything that he was suppose t feel he didn't. He didn't think about the boy 24/7. So if he didn't feel anything for him, why was he feeling guilty and heartbroken?
Kenny's eyes were stuck in his head. Those beautiful blue sad eyes wouldn't leave his mind. He didn't love Kenny but this feeling was bring tears to his eyes. Ho could he have not given him an answer?
Rubbing his eyes he reached over and picked up the phone. Dialing the number quickly he brought it up to his ear hopping someone would answer the phone.
"Hello?" It was Kenny. Good that mean he didn't have to argue with his drunken father just to talk to him.
Inhaling, he cleared his throat so he didn't sound like he was upset what so ever. "Ken, it's Kyle. Listen can we talk?"
"Not now. My cord is on it's last wire, and it could snap anytime soon."
"Alright. Then let's meet up. By the school." It was the only place he knew that they could talk in private at this hour. He didn't feel like being interrupted by anyone.
There was a pause. Shit he hoped that the phone on the other side was still working, and that Kenny had heard him. "Kenny?"
"Yeah I'll meet you there." then the phone dial went on.
Kyle smiled. Hanging up he grabbed his coat and struggled putting it on while running out of his room."Mom! I'll be back!" he shouted running down the stairs while zipping up his coat.
"Bubbie, where are you going?" his mother called out from one of the downstairs room.
Racing over he quickly slipped his shoes on and proceeded out the door. "Out!" he shut the door. Kenny lived closer to the school then he did, so running would get him there faster and not make Kenny wait.
He decided. Even though he didn't feel the same way Kenny felt, he could still give Kenny a chance. And if it doesn't work then they could still remain friends. Or at least that's what he was hopping for.
One of the advantages to living in a small town was everything was a good walking distance. He had made it to town already and there ahead of him was the oh so familiar orange parka.
"Kenny!" he called out making the boy stop in his tracks. Slowly the boy turned to see who had called him out. But the minute that their eyes made contact he smiled.
Kyle was panting but returned the smile letting the teen in front of him know that what he called him out for was good news.
"Ken."
In less then a second the sound of a horn blared through the air. And within that second Kenny no longer stood in front of him. The smile that once graced his face slowly feel and without even realizing he stopped breathing; began to slowly hyperventilate.
Even as the people of the vehicle quickly evacuated from their seats and ran towards the front of the car, he continued to stand there, staring where Kenny stood. That did not just happen. Even if the people were screaming at him to go get help he just stood there frozen.
What he just witnessed, what he had witnessed for years had never effected him before. So why now? Why did he have this sudden urge to cry and vomit where he stood. Maybe cause this time, he knew. He didn't want to, but he knew that this time Kenny wasn't going to be there the next morning.