I know loss. I've felt it in my lungs. I've felt it in my thoughts. I've felt it in my numb dreams.
I didn't notice her. She was just a girl walking alone in the streets of Midgar. I didn't really see her until she spoke to me.
"Excuse me," a girl said. "What happened?" Doubtless, I was in a rush. Shinra and a blown up mako reactor in need of vengeance were uncomforatbly close behind me. I could've told the truth. I could've said that she had better get out of here, and hurried away from there. But I didn't. Her voice immobilized me. I stayed, and listened to the musicality of her words.
A car drove past. The murky water on the uneven road splashed, and the passing headlights made a panorama of light spin behind her.
"Nothing... Hey, listen..." I replied. My vocal chords strained to say something. She looked at me with those big green eyes, filled with curious amusement. I saw sinuous beams of life swim across those enchanting eyes at that moment. A woven basket of flowers dangled on her pale arm.
"Don't see many flowers around here," I remarked with counterfeit nonchalance.
"Oh, these?" she said, holding out a yellow daisy between her conical fingertips. "Do you like them? They're only a gil...?" I felt myself smile. This was different. She was... different.
"Sure, I'll buy one," I said as I fished through my pockets for a gil.
"Oh, thank you!" She took the gil, and left the daisy in my open palm. The flower girl started to turn away for a moment, but lingered. In what must have been an impulse of extroversion, I felt her lips graze my cheek. Her face didn't flush red like mine did. Instead, she giggled to herself, and turned away, flashing a smile of accomplishment as she spun around.
I watched her leave, and felt that I would one day helplessly chase that same swiveling pink hem, slightly stained with splattered mud. I felt that I would watch that white materia in her hair dance down a flight of glass steps. I already felt the pink ribbon in her hair tied around my bicep. I already felt her soft, limp figure in my arms.
I felt her loss when I first met her.