Someone's Final Song

He died when the house was empty,
When the maid had gone.
He put a pen to paper for one final song.
He wrote-
Oh babe, it's the only way;
I know it's wrong but I can't stand,
To go on living, to go on living, living life this way.

And I don't know what the time is,
Or what the next line is,
Or how you're going to take the news,
But if I had my life again,
I wouldn't change a thing;
I'd let nobody, I'd let nobody,
Stand inside my shoes.

Something's gotten hold of me;
This home is not the home it used to be.
I've gathered dust like the dying flowers,
And I've drunk myself sober,
After hours and hours-

After hours and hours.

-Bernie Taupin & Elton John, "Someone's Final Song"

My Dear Ruby,

I have resigned myself at last to the fact that my curse is breaking. The final blow may be imminent, or it may be some time from now—though I suspect that it will be sooner rather than later—but it is inevitable in any case. Knowing my stubborn nature as you do, you will probably not be surprised that I have resisted this long in accepting a decades-old prophecy, but I foolishly thought I could escape the clutches of fate this once. Was it wrong, even a compounding of my evil deeds, to hope? Regardless, it was futile.

This letter must so far appear self-absorbed. Perhaps it is. I know I do not deserve a chance to explain myself, least of all to you. Yet it is to you alone that I desperately wish to explain. Allow me one more selfish act, then. And if you will allow me to boast once more as well, do you know what I like best about the curse? I like that each and every person in Storybrooke is real. Oh, they may not be the same as they were in the old world, but they are real nonetheless—real minds, real personalities, real hearts. Why do I bring this up? Because it was one of my happiest surprises in the last twenty-eight years to find that Ruby Lucas was not only a real, but a delightful woman. Your reputation in this town was as a tramp. My apologies, though you did help cultivate that image yourself. You and I know better. Still, I was a dreadful tease, I know.

I think you were surprised that I did not want to be physically intimate. I wonder, are you even more surprised now that you remember what I am? Ah, but there's the rub. You may know that I respected, even admired you as Red. On the other hand, you may not know that I desired you even then. Given the sum of what I felt for you then and what I feel for you now, I found I could not take advantage of your ignorance. It was a difficult decision, believe me—lest there be any misunderstanding, I wanted you very badly, and Ruby, it could have been so good between us. And when I refused even to date in public, how demeaning it must have felt, to think I was ashamed of you. Just the opposite, Ruby, it should have been just the reverse. How strange you must have thought it, that all I gave you was apple cider and kisses behind closed doors. Oh, but even if you were a real and complete and desirable person under the curse, you are also Red. You will have remembered that by now, and you will be inestimably happy and relieved that you never went a single step further with me.

My forbearance will be my eternal loss, however, not to say my regret. I have been avoiding this, not only in this letter, but for years now. Well, here it is: I love you, Ruby Lucas. And I find it fitting, given what I am, that even a declaration of love will surely engender pain and disgust. I have loved you since you first approached me when Henry was an infant, because you saw me truly, as a woman desperate to love and be loved. And you approved. And you encouraged, and you praised me for one of the very few really good things I have done, perhaps ever. Never mind that the curse obscured all the rest at the time. I will always be grateful to you, I will always love you for that moment and for so many moments afterward. I am only sorry that I stole them from you unawares.

You know what they will do when the curse ends. I change my mind daily about whether the Swan woman will try to stop them, but if the mob doesn't do the job, the other royals will. After all, I believe Kanga was caught up in the curse, and they would miss a trick if they failed to try me before a literal kangaroo court. Not that anyone would blame you, in your cursed state (in point of fact, I rather suspect it would be added to my list of crimes), but I will not divulge our relationship to them. Snow might not understand. If you resent me, though, I would rather it be you that does the deed. Only be quick, please. Otherwise, stay away, darling. It would only cause both of us further pain for you to be there when I meet my fate.

Finally, I entreat you to watch over Henry. Swan loves him, and Snow and Charming will dote upon him, but I trust you more than any of them. You have known him and loved him these ten years, and you know he is innocent of my crimes. I hope you also believe that I never wanted him to suffer because of what I am. As one of the only two people I love in this world, will you protect the other, my son? And for heaven's sake, do not let him witness whatever is done to me.

There is nothing left for me to say, except goodbye. I am sorry, Ruby, and I love you; but I am not sorry to have loved you.

Regina

P.S. I write this in haste, as the curse has just broken. Magic is back, and though I find it frustratingly difficult to handle here, I have managed to wrangle it to my purpose. Enclosed is a charm that will help you to control your transformations. Yes, you will transform again now that magic has returned. May this give you a measure of peace in the days to come. I will attempt to teleport this letter directly to you. If you do not wish it to be known who gave you the charm, you should burn it after reading.

Ruby lowered the letter and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. The jewel was cool in her palm. It seemed to adhere to her skin, but when she pulled at it, it came away easily. She stared at its glimmering surface contemplatively, then reached under her shirt and placed in against her breastbone. It clung to her body and heated slightly. The werewolf folded the letter reverently and quickly put it away in one of her drawers. She could already hear shouts and curses from outside, so she wasted no time running out the back door. The smells and sounds of the outside world assaulted her, too harsh at first with her newly reawakened senses, but she didn't allow herself time to adjust. As she shifted for the first time in nearly thirty years, her howl trailed behind her. She would need the wolf's speed if she was to get there first.

Regina was struck by the incongruous image of a doctor's waiting room. She sat primly on the couch, hair, makeup, and clothes impeccable, with nothing to do but wait for the bad news. It was ridiculous, of course, but she preferred to go down with poise if she was to go down at all. She didn't think about Henry or Ruby. When her final moments came, then she would reflect on them, as well as on Daniel. For now, it was too painful, so she simply closed her eyes and waited for banging on her door.

Instead, she heard a loud scratching noise. Her eyes flew open. When she heard it again, she rose and stalked to the door. Steeling herself for whatever was on the other side, she swung the door open. Her visitor was not at her eye level, but she didn't have to look down very far before she saw the huge black wolf on the doorstep.

"Oh," she breathed. "I see. I suppose I'm glad it's you, in a way. Guess you figured out the charm, hm? Where did you put it?" The wolf just cocked its head and stared at her. "I forgot how beautiful you were," Regina said with a sad smile. "Where would you like to do this?"

Ruby transformed again and stood upright. "Let's get you inside," she said firmly. Regina blinked, then nodded slightly and retreated through the door, allowing the werewolf to enter. Ruby quickly shut and locked the door, then lunged. The shorter woman tensed, but when she found herself in a crushing embrace, she slowly opened her eyes. "You're not dying," Ruby whispered.

Regina carefully pulled back to look at the other woman. "Then…why did you come here?"

"To protect you," the werewolf said bluntly. Already, with danger and violence in the air, Red was creeping back in. "You really thought I would do that to you?"

"You should," Regina replied quickly. "You can't stop them, Ruby."

"No?" Ruby replied, her eyes glinting gold.

"You know you won't," the witch said gently. "Not if it means fighting Snow or Charming. Or Emma."

The werewolf deflated, but only slightly. "Emma will side with me," she shot back. "I'm pretty sure. Henry too." When the other woman shook her head ruefully, Ruby assured her, "He will. He doesn't want you dead, Regina. You must know that. You have us, and that's going to make it really frickin' hard for Snow to come after you."

"'Frickin''?" Regina mimicked with a raised eyebrow, and Ruby actually blushed slightly. "It's not enough, dear."

"It's a start," Ruby said determinedly. "I'm not tossing around ideas, Regina. This isn't negotiable. I am not going to let them kill you."

The mayor passed a hand over her face tiredly. "Why not?" she asked shakily, and her tone made it clear that she was honestly too scared and confused to figure out Ruby's motives. "We both know you don't owe me. You know what I am."

"'What I am.' I hate that," Ruby said vehemently, and Regina coughed in surprise. "You said that three times in your letter. Did you even realize that?" The mayor looked down, avoiding Ruby's eyes. "You said you fell in love with me after you brought Henry back. Remember that? Remember why?" The werewolf stepped forward and cupped Regina's face with both hands until they were looking in each other's eyes again. "I still see the woman you are, Regina. Not just the Queen. Come on, did you think I wouldn't understand? The Big Bad Wolf herself?"

"It's not the same," Regina protested weakly. "You aren't…"

"Maybe not," Ruby admitted. "Maybe it's not the same, and maybe it's going to take some time, because I've got multiple identities to reconcile here before I can finish figuring you and me out, but Regina…" She sighed heavily. One hand fell from the mayor's face to grasp the other woman's wrist. She pressed Regina's fingers to her chest, where the little jewel was radiating a comfortable heat, and the shorter woman's eyes dropped to the point of contact, her mouth opening just slightly. "You asked where I put it," Ruby said. "I put it near my heart."

"What…Why…?" Regina floundered, unable to express what she wanted to know. Her eyes misted slightly.

The werewolf took a deep breath, then expelled it, looking nervous for the first time. "Because…because Ruby Lucas has been in love with you for years."

Regina's hand pressed a little harder against the jewel, which flared in response to her magic. "And…Red?" she asked, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Red is willing to hear Ruby out," Ruby said with a lopsided smirk. "But between you and me, this charm was a pretty great start."

A blinding smile filled Regina's face, and she suddenly sobbed, as if too many feelings were trying to escape her all at once. Ruby pulled the smaller woman back into a tender hug. "You should know, fate has not been kind to those I care about," the mayor warned, her words slightly muffled by Ruby's shoulder.

"Yeah, well, fate will have to get past the Big Bad Wolf this time," Ruby retorted with exaggerated bravado.

Regina chuckled. "Still, you need to be careful. If people find out, you could be in danger. You and Henry should keep your distance if things go wrong."

"Not happening," Ruby said firmly. "Yeah, I know things could get rough, but we aren't abandoning you. For once, I'm gonna make sure you come out on top, Regina. You'll have me, and Henry will come around, you'll see. And the rest will figure it out eventually too, okay? I have to believe that. You just have to believe too, just this once."

So Regina believed.