He returned with nine bullet holes, all in his chest plate, where the human heart would usually be: the kill zone, and a round that took out his visor completely. She had no idea what in the world could do something of the sort, but there he stood with a broken visor that should be covering his face. That was just his chest and head. His left arm looked mangled and his right leg's outer plating had been rather savagely torn away.
She silently acknowledged, a long time ago, even before Overwatch that people she interacted with on a regular basis may disappear tomorrow. She learned that the first time with her parents. It seemed she was still not done learning. When she was fifteen, Overwatch recruited her, and she made new friends there too, friends that, like her parents, could sometimes disappear tomorrow. She'd seen many a figure bent over in grief in front of a grave. She knew that feeling. The feeling that something inside one's heart was tearing itself apart in anguish, rage, and sorrow. The numbness that one feels as they stare blankly forward, sometimes for days on end. The sheer amount of tears that would flow through one body, enough to drown out the world. She knew the stages of grief. What to say to someone struck with loss. Even then, she lived in constant fear of losing someone.
"Nerves severed on left arm…. Tendons torn in left triceps…. Will require complete replacement." She was muttering softly while scribbling notes on her tablet with her finger. Her eyes hid behind thick-rimmed glasses that she wore when she was taking care of her patients. What she lacked this time was the reassuring smile she typically showed to her patients in order to calm them. She wordlessly moved down his body and motioned to put his right leg on an elevated stool. Genji complied silently; knowing that crossing the doctor right now would be unwise. As she beheld the broken outer plating, she huffed in frustration. "Broken outer layer….Cracks in artificial femur….patient will not walk until proper replacement is ordered…." Not paying attention to his nodding (he really did not know what else he could do), she moved up to his chest plate and looked at the outer layer. Six of the bullets had stopped at the exoskeletons carbon fiber layer, her idea. The other three, had torn into the artificial muscle under the carbon fiber layer. The layer, preventing entry into his heart, softened their impact. She stared at the damage and raised her tablet to write. But instead of any muttering that accompanied her observations, all that came out was "For fuck's sake! Genji!" Her voice had reached a crescendo at the last three syllables. He looked at her calmly. She lightly tossed, almost threw, her tablet on an empty patient's bed. It bounced softly and landed harmlessly. She leaned over on her own stool, dragging her right hand exasperatedly across her face.
"Tell me, do you try to get killed or is the brass just fucking with my stress levels by sending you to the front? Last I checked you aren't Reinhardt. You're supposed to be flanking! How the hell is it that you return with as many bullets in your body as him?"
Her blue eyes, usually serene with compassion, were blazing angrily. They were met with his brown. As opposed to the burning irises of her blue, his brown was lost in a sad acquiescence. He said nothing, knowing that anything he said would fail to justify his condition in her eyes. So far as she was concerned, this kind of stupidity had no right to be defended, be there evidence or witnesses.
"I am truly sorry…" he replied in a low register, dipping his head. He always did that when he knew he lost. She would usually just chide him lightly to be more careful next time, and maybe head out to bring them some tea. But this time she didn't see any reason to stop. She was angry with him, at him, for his carelessness. It was almost as if his wounds were a personal affront to her, standing as monuments mocking her heightening concern.
"SORRY WILL NOT KEEP YOU ALIVE!" Angela bellowed. She had risen from her stool, staring down at his worn out body. Fist clenched, nails digging into her palm. "SORRY WILL NOT SAVE YOUR LIMBS! IT SURE AS HELL WON'T KEEP YOU SAFE FROM BULLETS! DO YOU THINK THAT CRAWLING BACK TO ME AND APOLOGIZING WILL REVERSE INJURY? DEATH!?"
She glowered down at him. She was breathing heavily. His broken body, reminding her of the day they first met. Her eyes dared him to respond. Say something witty or defensive. She would be ready to tear it apart. His retort never came. He just stared into her, with the same sad eyes that he apologized in. She felt a twinge of guilt, but nowhere near enough to calm down. Eyes and nostrils still flaring, she turned on her heels. "Get some rest. I'll see about the replacements." She said stiffly, a hint of acid still lingering in her voice.
Angela returned that night to see him lying on the bed, visibly asleep. The light of the machinery lit up Genji's deserted ward. She imagined that Mccree or Tracer would have visited briefly for a check up. The only indication she had of their visit were two stools to the right of the bed and Tracer's teddy bear next to his pillow, the one she gave to anyone who had the misfortune to end up in the Med bay. She walked quietly, or as quietly as one could with heels, to the side of his bed. Sitting on the stool nearest to his head with her arms crossed, she sighed as she tried to find the right words to say to his sleeping body.
"I'm not sorry about what I said earlier." She started. It was harsh, but honest. "I'm a doctor. I try to stop death. It's what I do. But that does not mean I take joy trying to save someone. Watching someone's life drain out of their eyes, I'm sure you know how that feels… I thought… I thought if just one more thing went wrong on the mission, I might have had to see it again with you. For that I'm still angry at you…"
She placed her glasses on the side of his bed and rubbed her temples.
"You have every right to be, Angela…" He murmured back. She looked up. His eyes still closed. She paused, wondering if she should wait for him to say something else. She continued when he remained silent.
"I already told you that I lost my parents a long time ago… I don't know how many more people I've lost after that…. So many faces.… They're all gone now…. They're not coming back." She choked at the last phrase. Her lips began to quiver softly and her vision began to blur with welling tears. Genji's eyes slid open. He shuffled to meet her gaze, keeping his weight off of his mangled left arm. Small watery trails began to form on her cheeks. "You know as well as I do what it feels like to lose someone, to watch the fire of life die and to come to terms with the fact that they will never return." She sniffed, the watery trails became more pronounced. "I've lost so many people that I don't know how I can….still…" her right hand moved to cover her eyes, her left remained on her right arm.
A metallic hand slipped towards right arm. She let it guide her left towards the side of the bed, a digit running repeatedly across the back of it. Incredibly, she willed herself to stop. Breathing steadily, she removed her right from her eyes and looked into his eyes. Her right hand joined her left in and held his right.
Relinquishing to her emotions, she made a plea, "I know it's impossible to make promises in our line of work. I know you can't control everything that happens to you… or me or the team. But please…. Just try to be careful?" Her stiffness and anger from the previous conversations had evaporated.
Right hand in both of hers, Genji stared into her eyes. The fire had returned, but it was not aggressive or vitriolic. It was a bit like the fire that greeted one into a home, waiting for someone to take refuge.
"On my honor, I swear to you that I will." He said.
Well, that was definitely more than the usual promises he gave her. She was still angry at him, but it would phase out soon enough. It always did.
"For the record, I'm still mad at you schatzli…" She murmured drily. "If you ever come in like this again, I swear I'll chain you to this bed."
He let out a soft laugh, a quieter version of his more boisterous ones.
"Like I said, you have every right to…" he said, his eyes drooping. "I feel like I might actually enjoy that a bit." He added with a faint smile.
It was her turn to smile. She flicked his exposed nose. "Dubbel…."
"Iro Iro to arigatogozaimasu." He said, massaging his nose with his right hand.
"Bitteschön… Now go to bed."
A/N
This is a one shot like the last one. Hopefully I'll move on to submitting something more substantive in the future.
schatzli-treasure (pet name)
dubbel-idiot
Iro Iro to arigatogozaimasu-thank you for everything
bitteschön-no problem