Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Avengers. Come to think of it I don't own anything really. Damn I hate being poor. :)
A.N.- Okay I tried to find any mistakes and if there are any I'm sorry in advance. I even tired to follow the helpful suggestions that the edit docutment came up with. I don't have a Beta so any mistakes are mine and I suck for them. Anyways on to the story.
To the person putting decaf coffee into the regular coffee pot,
I don't know who you are. (but I think your name starts with a T.) I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have a lot of money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my coffee go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. (Yeah I'm talking to you Tony Stark)
It was Signed with a black spider with a red diamond on it's back.
Tony held the note that had been left next to the coffee pot and glanced about like a gazelle out in the plains of Africa waiting for the lion to pounce. He noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Then again if normal people could see her coming that easy she wouldn't be the one of the best assassins the world now would she? Maybe she was hanging up in the rafters with Clint. Her boyfriend, partner, aw you get the picture. Whatever they were to one another wasn't important at the moment. Clint was probably aiming an arrow right towards his ass, as Tony stood like an idiot out in the open.
With that thought Tony threw the note on the ground and took off like a bat out of hell for his lab. He tripped over the kitchen chair and knocked into Thor's stupid hammer. The God of Thunder had left in the middle of the floor again. How many times had he told Thor the kitchen was for eating and not a weapons storage. He kicked the offending hammer, then began hopping up and down as pain laced his big toe. He took a deep calming breath then started to come up with a plan. Yelling loudly to his A.I.
"Jarvis I need three trucks of Folgers Regular Coffee shipped to Stark Towers within the hour."
"Right away sir. Will you be needing anything else?"
"No but my lab will be on lock down for the rest of the day. No one is allowed in not even Pepper."
With that the billionaire punched in his security codes and prayed that his piece offering of the Widows favorite coffee would be enough. He was innocent this one time, but since he was usually the jokester of the group there was no way his name would be cleared. He needed to figure out who the real Decaf Bandit was and put a stop to this madness. Before he ended up on the business end of a thigh choke.
Else where in Stark Towers Captain America smiled brightly as he re-watched the security feed of Tony fleeing the kitchen. Laughing out loud at Tony kicking the hammer. Now normally Steve would not be a trickster. This was very much not his strong suit. But Iron Man had made a his life a living hell with all his little jokes and snarky comments and darn it there was only so much a man could take.
"Jarvis?"
"Yes Captain?"
"I just got done talking with Mr. Stark and he made a mistake. He said he needed decaf."
"Right away Sir. Should I confer with Mr. Stark to make sure this is correct?"
"No Jarvis, Mr. Stark is busy in the lab now and should not be disturbed."
The A.I . didn't respond and Steve wondered why Jarvis didn't question how Steve talked to Tony when he was in hiding. Oh well, maybe the A.I. thought Tony needed to be taught a lesson as well. Steve went back to re-watching the Security feed again. See who said the man from the 1940's couldn't work with technology.
The End!