a/n: An introspective little ficlet on Rima.
dedication: to selfishness.
disclaimer: I own nothing.
summary: How do you compete against perfection? – Nagihiko/Nadeshiko, Rima!centric.
there's no such thing
How does one compete against the epitome of grace and elegance?
The foremost of courteousness and patience?
A kind princess or an ever-smiling gentleman?
How can I, plain Mashiro Rima, even compare to poised Nadeshiko or calm Nagihiko?
I'll admit, the previous Queen would've been easy to surpass. Nadeshiko might have been beautiful and kind and sweet and rational but she was no longer there. Although Amu's first friend was Nadeshiko, I could've settled for being her current best friend.
It was difficult, constantly hearing stories of how gracefully she danced, how compassionate she was, how the Queen was beloved by all. I am, after all, spoilt and bratty and I wanted Amu all to myself. My first true friend and I didn't want to share, even with the shadow that still lingered in my seat.
It worked, for awhile. Amu stopped bringing up Nadeshiko and I was happy. But all good things must come to an end.
The minute I saw the smile on Nagihiko's face, I immediately knew that our new Jack was up to no good.
He was worming my best friend out of my life, slowly but surely.
In response, I tried to hold on tighter, and was met with only scorn for my concerns. Nagihiko was integrated into our little family seamlessly, compared to the hardships I'd faced when I'd become Queen.
In fact, it was as if he'd been there from the beginning.
It was when I realized this that I began fitting the pieces together. He fit into our group because he was always meant to be there. He interacted with Amu so well because he had already become her best friend.
He was Nadeshiko, the girl he claimed was his twin sister.
And that's when I couldn't take it.
Nadeshiko's ghost had tried everything it could to stop me from being friends with Amu. Nagihiko inserted himself between us like it was a natural thing to do. I could've taken the indignity of being second best to a girl I never knew. I could've taken the sharp hurt of being cast aside for a newcomer.
But this – this was too much.
How can I even compare to Nadeshiko and Nagihiko?
How could I even dream that I was good enough for someone like Amu?
Amu is flawed and broken and mended and happy. What could she desire more than perfection itself?
I am shattered. Unwanted by my parents, my classmates – now my friends.
I wasn't perfect before. I am not perfect now. I will never be perfect.
How can I ever compete in this world?
le fin
a/n: Angsty, I know. I was not intending it to be this way, but I guess the bitterness of being cast aside reared its head and demanded to be written.