We took them down.
We beat at the walls, until little by little, they begin to crumble away.
We are all rejoicing, celebrating. We did it.
We all continue to yell and scream out as we work on the walls. A little ways away, I can see Julian working on the wall with the butt of the gun. Almost as if he senses me looking, he shifts, and finds my eyes immediately.
Something's different. Something about him has changed. There is a sort of shift in his eyes. They have hardened. When he looks at me, his smile disappears. Its then that I realize he knows.
He knows now that we will not have a future together. I think he's known this for a while. But he doesn't let this knowledge turn this moment bitter. He gives me a short nod, one of understanding, and then turns back to his work.
Julian is so kind, and sweet, and gentle. But he is not the one I hold deepest in my heart. But something tells me that he will have no trouble finding someone else. Julian is special that way. He is going to be okay.
Alex is quick to join us. We all tear at the walls until our muscles ache, and then just a bit longer. Most of the group goes back to the camp to rest for the night. I take Gracie by the hand and lead her into the woods as well. Alex takes my other hand.
The three of us find an empty stop, big enough for all of us to sit comfortably, next to the fire. I can't bear to have Grace even that far away from me. I pull her as close to my side as I can, and keep my arm rested around her. She leans into me and sighs. Alex then does the same to me. He takes my hand and starts drawing light patterns on my skin with his fingertips.
My mother joins us shortly after we've sat down, and gives Alex a curious look, but she doesn't speak. She simply sits next to us. I take that moment to introduce her to Grace. Grace of course shies into me and tries to hide behind my arm. My mother doesn't seem to mind. She uses the voice I remember from my childhood. The soft and understanding coo. I can feel Grace relax.
My mother continues to talk to Grace, and eventually, she is speaking back, and they are having a conversation. Grace is sitting up, as my mother tells her stories of the Wilds, or of me when I was her age, or so on. I almost want to cry.
Off in the distance, I see a silhouette approaching the camp. I begin to tense into Alex, preparing for the worst. What if some of the Cured decided to attack back? What if they surround us, making it impossible for us to escape the dull lifestyle they wish to inflict upon us?
The shadow grows closer. But instead of it being one of an army of Cured, it takes a less menacing form. I see the long blonde locks first.
Hana.
She's alive.
Hana's alive!
I catch her eye and wave her over to join the rest of us. She slowly, carefully, approaches us. She gingerly takes the empty space next the Alex, careful not to draw attention to herself.
I reach my hand across Alex's body and grab onto Hana's hand. Her head snaps up and her eyes immediately find my own.
"I've missed you," I said.
"I've missed you too. More than you could ever know," she spoke with a tiny voice.
She then puts her head down and remains quiet. It was clear she was uncomfortable.
We all sit like this for a while more until I see Julian coming towards us. He stands in front of the group, awkwardly trying to say something.
"Would you mind if I joined you guys? The others are sort of scaring me," he mumbled as he fiddled with his hands.
"Of course," I smiled. "There is an open space next to Hana. Hana, this is Julian. You have probably heard many things about him over the past few months. He is big part of the reason I'm still alive," I told her. "Julian, this is Hana. She was my absolute best friend growing up. Though, she's more of a sister than a friend, really," I explained.
Julian sat down next to Hana slowly. There were a few beats of silence before Julian noticed Hana's three pronged scar.
"Oh!" he said startled.
Before Hana could even say a word in her defense, he jumped into a discussion about the cure, and the society of which they both came from. Hana gratefully accepted his advances.
The two of them are the only ones who have ever willingly spent time with Cured. Hell, the only ones who ever wanted to be cured for themselves. Both of them are fairly new to this idea of not having a regulation cure and strict rules and curfews. It made sense that they would hit it off.
Hana and Julian continue to talk. Occasional burst of laughter would emit from the two of them. I'm just happy they both have someone for the moment.
I am still leaning into Alex hours later. We haven't spoken. Not a single word. We are both lost in our own minds, our own thoughts, occasionally tuning into the discussions around us.
When the sun finally falls over the horizon, I see Pippa return. I haven't seen her since Grace, Alex and I left the wall.
She speaks, she congratulates us all. She tells us how proud she is to be a part of our forces. She then goes on to say more. "Our efforts were not miniscule. Today, what we have accomplished here is being echoed all over the country. In three other major cities, there were attacks made by the resistance. They were all successful. We have breached the walls. We have breached the country. We have made it. But our fight isn't over. Now that we are here we need to figure out a way to get a better grip on our situation. Take the control and make sure it cannot be taken back. We are strong, we have proved that today." She then puts her head down for a moment, and then continues, "We have lost many dear ones today. We have lost lives. But we cannot let this drag us down. They fought with us, for us, for this cause. They fought for freedom, so let's not disappoint them." She puts her head down once more and we all take a moment of silence for our lost friends. All I can think about is Raven.
Raven, who saved me.
Raven, who kept me strong.
Raven, who has taught me everything I know about the Wilds.
She's gone. Never to return.
But I cannot let this get in my way. I will continue her fight. I will keep fighting until this world is one where everyone can live and choose and be free.
Behind me, Alex hugs me closer. He whispers, "I Love you".
I can hear what he's saying underneath it. I can hear that he's also saying, "I thought I would never see you again." And "I'm so happy you're here" and "thank god I have you".
"I love you too." I say.
Amor-deliria-nervosa.
Let it infect us all.