Alright, I know strictly speaking that RPS (real person slash) isn't acceptable but I love Top Gear so so so much that I couldn't ignore this any longer. So here it is! Hope you like slash and if you don't, get the hell outta here before I start throwing chairs. Review nice! Don't flame!
Disclaimer: I don't own these gorgeous boys. I wish I was Mrs James May though.
There's more to life than cars, but they're a good place to start.
James cursed Richard Hammond for the third time that morning. The 'stupid brummy rodent' as James was now mentally calling him had decided that Top Gear should go all out for Valentines Day and have a romantic masquerade ball. Everyone on the team could bring a partner and celebrate the fluffy pinkness of the over-commercialised holiday. Unfortunately, James May had been the only one to oppose this idea. He had a good reason – nobody to go with. For ages, he had boasted to the others about a free lifestyle, no wife and kids to tie him down, but every year the 14th of February seemed to remind him how lonely his life could get. Clarkson and Hammond had their wives and kids to keep them company when it got tough. James had his cat and the local pub. He'd tried the dating scene, had tried getting to know one or two really nice girls, but they just never seemed to click right with him. It was like a jigsaw and the pieces didn't seem to fit together properly.
Cursing at the sky again, James stubbed out his cigarette and headed indoors. Filming for three more hours might help lift his mood.
Jeremy felt completely ecstatic when Hammond had suggested the stupid ball. Richard knew how Clarkson felt about a particular member of the team and finally he had a chance to make his feelings known. He was so happy he could have hugged the Hamster! Although Richard would most likely have punched him.
It was unknown to most, but Jeremy and his wife had sadly decided to go their separate ways. It was a clean split and the children saw both of their parents as the two were still friends. They just weren't lovers any more. And when Jeremy had told Richard about his feelings for a new person Richard had told Mindy who had, of course, passed it on to Francie. Who had graciously wished him the best of luck in the future (Jeremy briefly wondered whether she had begun to see anyone else.) There was a small problem though. However brash and confident Jeremy seemed on screen, he could never quite feel that same air of power when discussing his emotions. Especially to people he really REALLY liked. He sighed, heading back towards the stage. Maybe another three hours of filming could help him figure out the best way to handle things at the ball.
"For God's sake, I don't see why this is so important!"
"Just trust me, it really is! You want to look good don't you?"
"I don't see the point."
"JAMES!" Richard had been arguing to get his friend into the suit shop for half an hour. He wanted James to look and feel good at the ball, regardless of who was or wasn't going with him. James felt that even if he turned up in his usual jeans and jumper, nobody would notice. "I can guarantee that the more you look like you've made an effort, the more people will notice. You never know, you might catch someone's eye as we're all allowed to bring a few extra guests."
"But, Richard, I don't like standing out!" James protested as Richard dragged him into the shop. The Hamster was certainly stronger than he looked!
After what seemed like a century of being measured and trying on different suits, James finally stepped out of the cubicle to be greeted with -
"Wow! I mean it that looks really good on you!" Looking over his simple black suit, with a thin black tie (complete with two grey thin stripes at the bottom for design) James had to admit – maybe he would look better all scrubbed up at the ball. The new black brogues Richard had picked out really finished the whole thing off. Hammond beamed, obviously very pleased with himself.
"Right, now wardrobe is sorted, lets move on to hair!"
"No! No, lets just leave my hair." Richard shrugged.
"Suit yourself. Maybe it does look okay left alone. But you may want to run a brush through it before the big night." Chuckling, James paid for his new clothes and left with Richard. Shopping with Hammond wasn't so bad; the shorter man did know what looked good after all.
"ARGHHHH!" The cry erupting from the other room had Richard running in, only to stop at the doorway and cry with laughter at Clarkson's attempts to put his suit on. Half in, half out of the trousers, with only half the shirt buttons done the wrong way up and his jacket not even out of the protective sleeve, the tall man obviously needed some help.
"Come here." Richard sighed, helping his friend to stand up straight, before waiting for Clarkson to dress properly and stand upright.
"Perfect. And the tie is definitely a nice touch." Jeremy's tie had two green stripes at the bottom instead. Richard had gone for ice blue stripes (arguing 'they look so mature and different!') making all three boys stand out from each other slightly. Sighing with relief, Jeremy started to remove his jacket and shoes, glad the dressing up session was over.
"Whoa, don't crease them already!" Richard shouted impatiently, hurrying over before the new jacket could touch the floor. Clarkson was really beginning to regret asking for fashion advice.