HRE, PRUSSIA, GERMANY… AND FRANCE?
Long, long ago...
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When the world was still young...
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Europe is filled with pedophiles...
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Or rather... that's what France keep saying..
France: Oui! Its true non?
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France: ?
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So... the pedos can be classified *cough*francereference*cough* into a few categories..
The greedy pedos *coughenglandcough*, the more-of-a-piano-maniac-than-a-pedo pedos (its piano and mariazell related, guess), the bubbly and blunt pedos (tomato and Italian fetishes are bonus), the I'm-too-awesome-to-admit-that-I'm-a-pedo pedos and the famous FRANCE...
…and we don't need to discuss why the FRANCE is in caps…
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Now that we are done with the intro, let's get going with the stories…
Despite being well known, (or more likely it is because he is well known) France is lacking a child to … uuuhh… 'express his love' ... yeahh..
Having to lose his luck on the Italians… France was brooding somewhere when he met with a certain blonde chibi with blue eyes..
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Yes.. it is the holy roman empire…
Then, France then managed to beat HRE in a war and killed him…
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Which is not true..
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Because he actually kidnapped him….
And I'll let your imagination to fly from here…
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For some weird reason, a certain Prussian declared that he was too awesome for any kind of secret, and so, he was the only person to know about France's not-so-top-secret secret..
And for an even weirder reason, Prussia doesn't seem to make a fuss about it…
And for his own arrogant god-knows-what reason… this led to having HIM lead the troops in the franco-prussian war after leaving HRE with France for a very, very long time….
Prussia: I'm so awesome that I made a reeaal good suspense and heroic action at the same time..
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But the truth is, Prussia took a long time with his brothers to decide on who should take the lead…
They finally made up their mind with scissor paper rock…
Prussia: they all should realize that the awesome me will alwaystake the lead!
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Prussia and his brothers took an even longer time in preparing the Mario, Luigi and that monster thingy costumes.. and all that is just for kicks..
Prussia: we even sent France and west theircostumes.. but they didn't wear it..
France: so it was you who sent me that dress prusse?
England: told you its not me you bloody frog! You owe 10 pounds!
Prussia: HELL NO! that dress was made for west!
….
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The German brothers beat the crap out of France and saved their beloved baby brother.. France bribed them with cash to keep his secret (5 billion francs to be exact), in which the German brothers happily accepted to get some good beer..
It never occurred to them that they had left their little brother way too long with France when they were met with the fact that France had transformed him into a pervert… *cough**cough*
Calmly, they used their modern scientific knowledge to brainwash him… which involved hitting his head with a barrel of beer…
France: ….
Prussia: hey, I awesomely made sure it was a barrel of awesomelygoodbeer!
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However, they had overdid it and thus… bring us to the current boring, stoic Germany with amnesia.. Being blamed for, Prussia tried to kick back sense to Germany but was only successful in things that is beer, potato and wrust related..
And seriously, Prussia don't even know how he got his strange affection towards dogs…
This theory also could explain why Germany is taller than Prussia (not that it matters though). Although being FRANCE, France made good food and so, Germany got a balanced nutrient while he waited for his brothers to come and save him. Prussia on the other hand, had lack of proper nutrients and was raised by beer loving brothers (who knows since when did he start drinking)
Also, Germany is obviously trying (unsuccessfully) hiding his closet pervertness that now we knew where he inherited it from….